It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

[vitaelamorte]

Who: EVERYONE!
Where: EVERYWHERE!
When: Friday October 27th - Tuesday October 31st
Rating: PG-13, warn if you're gonna go higher!
Summary: A catch all for the Horrible Memory Truth Event!
The Story:

For the duration of this event, everyone's entire room will be replaced with a memory playing on loop. They will likely recognize the moment as soon as they see it – it is a moment they remember as the worst moment of their entire lives. It could be a memory from home or something that happened in Wonderland. Lengths of the memories will vary, but they will find that these are not memories they can merely watch – they can step into these memories and attempt to make changes to them, and the memories will be long enough that they have time to make changes (though no more than 24 hours). However, anyone who tries will find that it is futile. No matter what you do or how hard you try, the outcome is always exactly the same somehow. No changes you make will prevent that horrible outcome. It just happens over and over and over again no matter what you do.

On top of that, perhaps complicating any attempts to make changes, everyone will be forced to be honest for the duration of the event. No lies or half-truths are allowed, and filters will be gone for the entire five days. If something bothers someone then they will blurt it out, regardless of whether or not it hurts someone's feelings, and no one will be able to simply keep quiet when they have something to say. They must be truthful and honest with every word they say.

This is a catch-all log for all of your Worst Memory needs! Please mark your threads clearly in the subject line with your character's name and Room Number + Floor for character rooms, or just location if you're making a top level for a public place in the mansion (like the tea rooms or the kitchen) so people can see if there's already a thread available. And here's the plot post if you need it!

Have fun!

Comments

[trabryu]

[ Mondo has his eyes shut, waiting for a whiplash. After all, someone you've trusted for so long, someone you thought to be your friend admitted to have killed not only one but two people before. Mondo himself can't predict what kind of emotion will hit him first from Jon. Maybe anger, maybe disappointment, maybe disgust... And yet, he gets something completely unexpected. ] ...Huh? [ He opens his eyes wide in disbelief. None of that kind came his way. Instead, he sees in Jon's eyes what he saw in Ishimaru's when he first broke the news to him: a will to trust him, despite everything. Sometimes he wonders, how in earth does he deserve people like them? Second chances and everything, he's... he's not the one should be granted that, right? Grasping the fabric on his own trousers, Mondo resolves to talk about it. He'll begin from the first murder. ] Uh... right, well. I told you how back in my world, I was the 'Super High School Level Biker Gang Leader', right? My biker gang... Crazy Diamond, is [ Was? He'd like to believe it still exists, somewhere. ] a team my big brother started. My big bro was this real cool guy. [ His eyes narrow slightly in the lull of nostalgia, flutters of fondness escaping his lashes. ] He was so fuckin' charismatic that all of us respected him so much and wanted to follow him along wherever he went. But... in Japan, you can't keep being in a biker gang once you've become an adult. 'Cuz to the society, we're scums. Well, 's not like I don't get where they were comin' from. We didn't do shit apart from makin' noises and breakin' things. [ Uh, he's getting off-tangent... ] Anyway. Point is, he had to 'graduate', and someone had to take over. [ He sighs, scratching the back of his head. ] I was the 'number two' of the team, right behind him. So naturally, I had to be the next leader. But, y'know. 'course not all the members would just agree. Everyday, I'd hear people talkin' 'bout how I'd lead our team astray, shit like that... And I let that pressure to win over me. [ The calmness in his own voice surprises even himself, but coming to terms with what happened has helped with that, very much so. ] I challenged him to a race on his retirement night, thinking that if I could beat him, I'd win the members' acknowledgement. [ Mondo almost smiles as he continues, even though sadness fill his thistle irises. ] He was too powerful, both in speed and skills. He was just, way out of my league. I should've known that, but still, I got desperate, and I... crossed over to the opposite traffic lane, thinking I could overtake him. [ And that always goes well, doesn't it. Ha ha. ] Well, what can I say... those lane dividers were there for a reason. [ He tries to joke, but it probably doesn't come out the way he wanted it to ー there's no amusement in his voice. ] A vehicle sped towards me then, and, everything just happened in a snap. [ The flash of light, the dull pain, the deafening crashing sounds. ] When I realised what was going on, I was at the other side of the road, and he... lied in the middle of the street, bleeding. [ Even now, the image of it is fresh in his mind. ] He didn't blame me for it, he even apologised, saying he fucked up. [ An airless laugh escapes him here. ] Can you believe that? All he asked from me was to keep the team together, the team... we've built together, he said. [ There's a limit to how much someone could be so generous, goddammit. ] It was all 'cuz of my weakness. If I had just fought the pressure, he wouldn't have to die like that. I didn't even tell the team what happened... I let them believe that he offed himself 'cuz he was losin' to me. I was scared the team would fall apart, even if it was my job to keep them together, no matter what. [ Now with this, Mondo's sure Jon will see him a different light. Disillusioned, maybe. ] ...Yeah. That was my first murder. [ And that was just the beginning. ]

[kryptomight]

( jon doesn’t have any siblings, so he can’t say he completely understands the bond mondo and his brother must have had. here, he has kon, and he briefly thinks back to that event where he had thought he and kon had been raised together. kon is an amazing person, jon is glad to be able to call him his big brother, here. they haven’t known each other for very long at all, but kon has proven to be an amazing, supportive person regardless. he’s strong, courageous, reminds jon a lot of his father—which makes sense, considering kon’s supposed to be his half-clone thing. he’s taken to calling kon his older brother, and really wishes he was, so he’d still be there for him when he goes back home.

and it’s this bond that he thinks of, when he imagines the kind of pain mondo must have felt that day. jon is mature for his age, yes, but he’s still ten. a biker gang isn’t something he can really picture outside of the stereotypical movie types. he knows what it feels like to be under someone else’s shadow, but jon’s never minded clark’s. it’s all part of being the son of superman: clark outshines him now, but one day, he’ll be strong and courageous and as brave as he is—and he’ll become superman.

if he felt the need to fight his father over that, for who knows what reason, and someone got hurt--even imagining the pain he’d feel from that’s enough to get him a little teary-eyed.

mondo calls it murder, but all jon sees is a really bad accident. one that must have hurt mondo. he had only been trying to prove himself, and it went badly—so badly he lost his big brother. if mondo’s brother is anything like kon is—that pain must have hurt much worse than any crash could have caused, and from what little mondo has told him of his brother, he’s sure it did.

if an accident happened that killed his father, and he thought it was his fault, jon would have had to lie, too, wouldn’t he? to protect people. to protect his mother, and everyone else on earth. the lie would have ate at him—jon hates lies—but he would have had to.

he’s small, yes, he doesn’t quite understand exactly how that could have happened, how badly that would have hurt, but jon can take a moment to put himself in mondo’s shoes, to feel how badly it would have hurt him had he been placed in a similar situation. and he would have felt it was his fault, too. for being overly reckless and causing someone to chase after him into traffic like that.

but it’s not murder.

it was just a really unfortunate accident.

he takes a deep breath in to keep himself from outright crying, because it’s not his pain, it’s mondo’s, and mondo needs comforting right now, not jon. he leaves the pieces of wood on the countertop, moves over to mondo and wraps his arms tight around the other’s waist. )

Mondo, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t murder him.

[trabryu]

[ His breathing hitches at the sudden gesture, arms raising in surprise. A hug... definitely isn't what he expects to get, either. Jon always gives really good hugs, but also at the timing he needs it the most, even when he didn't notice how much he needed it initially. Still, he doesn't feel like he can return it this time round. Jon has yet to know what he's actually like ー not before he hears about what Mondo's done after. Bitterly fighting his urge, he lets his arms fall to his sides. He can't reject Jon's hugs, but he mustn't return it either. ] It was still my fault. If I didn't get reckless, he'd still be there, he'd have some great future ahead. I took that chance from him. [ His hands ball into fists, gripping tight that his veins are popping. ] If I think about it now, I should've just settled it by proving them wrong and leading them properly. Facing the problems heads on, the manly way to go, y'know? And yet... I just kept going the loser way, even after that.

[kryptomight]

( jon agrees with him, to a certain extent. if he hadn't been reckless, his brother wouldn't have jumped in front of moving cars to save him. but--jon's done that, too. overestimated his skill, jumped in front of things he shouldn't have. still, he doesn't relent, keeps his arms firmly around mondo even as he continues speaking. )

No, it wasn't your fault. Sometimes--people do stupid stuff. He wanted to protect you, so he did. I don't think he'd like it very much if you blamed yourself for it for forever. He wanted you to have a future, right?

( and feeling bad about an accident for forever isn't going to get him far. ) Thinking about should haves and would haves aren't gonna help, either. It already happened. You can't change the past.

[trabryu]

[ It's a 'stupid stuff' that costed a precious life. An important presence. His only family. He can't just dismiss it as such. It's an awful, disastrous mistake, that led to a bigger, and worse tragedy. ] I know! [ His voice raises in the rapidly building up emotions, that he subsequently tries to control upon realisation just who he's yelling at. Jon wasn't wrong, and he wasn't upset at Jon. He can't let it out on him. ] I know he wanted me to have a future... he, he trusted me. That's why he did that. I know that. [ He takes a deep breath. ] But, I ruined that, too. [ As gentle as he could, Mondo puts his hands on Jon's shoulders, pushing him back slightly so they can see eye to eye. ] I killed someone else. And died after that.

[kryptomight]

( yelling isn't. something that jon's particularly used to. when clark gets angry, he lowers his voice. his tone gets deeper, more serious, firmer, but never louder. he imagines it's because--well, when kryptonians get too loud, things around them have the tenancy to shatter. it's why jon, too, is always careful to keep his voice low. he's broken enough windows in his time from getting too excited, thanks.

jon meets mondo's eyes easily enough. there's no judgement in his gaze, no anger or disappointment--he just looks a little sad if anything. he wants to say something like there's no way mondo's dead, because he's here, and how can he be here if he isn't alive anymore.

but he doesn't focus on that; when he opens his mouth, he speaks in a nice, level tone. asks quietly: ) But did you mean to hurt them? Did you want to kill them?

[trabryu]

[ With his eyes locked with Jon's blue ones, he can't avoid seeing the emotion reflected in it. He should've known by now that eyes will tell him so many things, sometimes even things that he didn't want to know. But he doesn't want to run away from the truth anymore at this point. ] I... I didn't. [ He says, gritting his teeth. Here goes, part two. ] I got scouted to some elite school called the Hope's Peak Academy sometime after my big bro's death. It's... where I got my title from. [ The whole 'Super High School Biker Gang Leader' thing. ] Apparently they only took in people with special talents or some crap like that, and they promised you bright future after you get outta there, but... [ Puffing out air, he pauses for a moment before going on. This all sounds too made-up to be true, but it was his reality. ] Dunno what happened, somehow we were locked down in the school and had to kill each other if we wanna get out. There was even this bear robot that kept claiming that it was the principal of the school, and it kept giving us 'motives' to kill. I know this sounds darned crazy ー 's all like one fucking sick joke, but it was real. People died, for real. [ The brakes for his mouth are really not working now, goddammit. He didn't want to say it so straightforwardly, especially not to Jon, but his tongue doesn't stop. ] ...And I... let it fuck me over. It somehow knew about my big bro's death and threatened to expose it to my gang if I didn't kill within 24 hours. I was so fuckin' scared. The gang's all I got left, and I didn't want to break the promise I made with my brother to keep them together. ...But I didn't want to kill either. Thinkin' bout it now, I shouldn't have, but I kept all those to myself. I... drove myself to a corner. It gradually felt like I was gonna go bonkers. [ There's no point regretting it now, but it was something he could learn from, for this 'second life' he's gotten. ] And then... one of my classmates, Fujisaki, happened to say somethin' that set me off. It wasn't even anythin' offensive, Fujisaki wasn't at fault at all. 's just bad, bad timing. [ It was overlapping series of unfortunate events. And the fact that Mondo was a walking disaster. ] Everything just... went to black then. [ If he closes his eyes now, he knows he can see the scene unfolding again in the back of his mind. ] When I got a hold of myself again, Fujisaki was already dead and I was there, holding the weapon. [ His grips on Jon's shoulders weaken and he eventually lets them drop to his sides. ] I knew then, that I was the one who did it.

[kryptomight]

( so it was an accident. not--quite the same kind of accident as his brother, sure, but an accident all the same. jon can read between the lines, and he's definitely seeing that it wasn't mondo's fault... entirely. he should have fought against the school, sure, but. he's only human. he didn't want to hurt anyone.

jon raises his hand up, presses his palm to mondo's shoulder. it's mean to be soothing, i'm right here, but his expression doesn't quite match. lips twist into a frown, brows furrow, and he's--he's sad that mondo had to go through that. that he couldn't be there for him. that kind of stuff is what superheroes are around to help prevent, right?

they're supposed to be there for kids who need help. but no one helped mondo. )

It wasn't your fault, though. You didn't want to hurt Fujisaki, did you? You're a good person, Mondo. Sometimes. . sometimes bad things happen, but it wasn't your fault.

[trabryu]

[ The palm on Mondo's shoulder is warm and reassuring, but all the more he feels how undeserving he is of all these kindness Jon's generously pouring on him. He shakes his head firmly. Unlike the first time he revealed this to Ishimaru, this time round, he doesn't intend to villianise himself. He just wants Jon to accept that yes, he's fucked up. He's done something he could never take back. ] No, it's my fault. I was a coward who wasn't able to overcome my weakness. [ Probably still is. ] I didn't want anyone to know that I couldn't hold my own. I let everythin' to get into my head, and... I made Fujisaki pay for it. [ Goddammit. Just thinking about it again makes him livid. Fujisaki was the Super High School Level Programmer who could've changed the world with his skills. What could Mondo do with his? And at this point it means nothing because he's... dead, too. ] ...In that school, there was a rule. If you killed someone, you could get outta there, but only if you won the class trial. They held a trial after every murder to find the culprit. If I won that time, the rest of them would be executed, but I lost, so... [ His words trail off, knowing he didn't need to specify. ] Thinking about it now, though, I'm glad I lost. At that state, I doubt I can do somethin' good out there. Fujisaki and the rest would just die for nothin'.

[kryptomight]

Okay. ( he’s starting to understand where mondo is going with this. this isn’t just about him killing people, or the guilt he’s feeling about it. he’s wanting jon to understand where he’s coming from, the kind of things he’s done. the mistakes he’s made. still, there’s no anger in jon’s expression as he listens—except towards the end, there. the part about mondo having to die after the trial. his nose scrunches up, but jon’s quick to drop that, too. )

I’m sorry that happened. I wish there was something I could do--my dad would’ve never let anything like that happen on our world. But I know you could do good things, Mondo. You’re still a good person. . sometimes people do bad things when they’re put in really bad situations, but. . that’s not on you, okay? That’s on that school.

What you did was wrong. I’m—not saying it wasn’t. Hurting people’s wrong, Mondo. But you didn’t mean to do it. If it hadn’t been for that stupid school, you would’ve hurt them. And your brother was just trying to protect you.

[trabryu]

[ Again, he shakes his head. ]

There ain't somethin' anyone can do. I dunno what's goin' on out there, but not even police could do anythin'. ...Not that I thought they could do stuff, but y'know. [ He sighs. ] 's all real fishy. We didn't even know what happened outside the school 'cuz every opening was barricaded with metal.

[ The atmosphere of that school just screamed wrong. After all, it didn't make sense how all 15 of them pass out together at a classroom for no reason. There must be something bigger going on. Someone with great power in control. Then again, if there were superheroes back in his world, could the situations be somehow different? Would those superheroes be able to fight all the crap that fucked up bear robot threw at them and get them all out from there?

There's probably no point in thinking about it. The truth stands, there isn't a superhero back in their world. At least, he's pretty sure Jon and him came from a different world, not just a different country. It's still such a kind thought, though, and that's what Mondo really appreciates from his little friend. But more than anything, he's really grateful that Jon's willing to admit that he's at fault. It's... strangely validating. It's almost like Jon accepts him, despite his past wrongdoings. Well, Mondo isn't really sure whether he accepts him or not, but at least he's willing to acknowledge that and listen to everything. It's more than enough. The reassurance Jon tries to extend is like a good bonus.

Mondo knows, more than anyone else, just how much Daiya cared for him, how much Daiya wanted him to live on, how Daiya would do anything for that. It was why Mondo tried so hard to keep his promise to his big brother as a man: to keep Crazy Diamond together. If there's anything he regrets even now about dying, is that he couldn't fulfill what he'd sworn to do for his brother. He doesn't say anything about that, but the look in his eyes might tell Jon something. ]

......

[ At this point, he realises how much more aware he is of his breathing through this talk. It's like he needs to remind himself to take a deep one every time. ]

Thanks, Jon. And sorry for keepin' this from you all these time. Must feel real shitty to know that your friend's a criminal, huh.

[ In a way, he's betrayed Jon's trust. ]

[kryptomight]

( considering some of the other people jon hangs out with--nah. damian has done some things he’s not proud of, either. damian’s been through a lot. mondo’s situation is entirely different from his, but--much like damian, mondo wouldn’t have hurt anyone if he had a choice; at least, that’s the belief he’s going to stick with for the both of them. bad things happen to people. it’s part of life.

his lips twist into an unpleasant frown, shaking his head and displacing his hair all in the same movement. )

It’s not your fault. You’re not a criminal. You’re just someone who got caught up in a bad place, and I’m not going to blame you for it. I. .. I don’t think it’s right to blame someone for something they couldn’t help.

And it doesn’t change the fact that I think you’re a good person, either.

( in case mondo was going to ask. jon still firmly believes in him. )

[trabryu]

Nah, that's... [ It's probably difficult to believe that a friend's one. But whatever the reason is, the fact still stands that he did it, intentional or not. ] I still committed a crime. Whaddya call it? Involuntary murder? I dunno much about the law... 's somethin' like that. [ Not that he doesn't appreciate Jon's sincere will to believe him still. It just reminds him a lot of what happened when he talked about this with Ishimaru. Both of them are such good friends to Mondo ー so good that it feels like he doesn't deserve them at all. ] If that person's family or friends know 'bout it, they won't care whether it was on purpose or not. They won't come back anymore. [ He leans closer, to gesture that he's making a firm point with what he's saying. ] If someone somehow managed to kill you, and they said it was unintentional, I know I wouldn't give a shit. I'd make sure they pay.

[kryptomight]

( those are dangerous words. even at ten, jon realizes that. mondo’s leaning in close, and jon takes the opportunity to reach his hands up, grab onto mondo’s face. he holds onto him, no real strength behind it, but enough to make mondo look to him. despite his years, jon’s gaze is unwavering, strong. wisdom beyond what he should have reflected in blue. )

No. That's not justice, Mondo. That's just vengeance. ( he's really starting to sound like batman here, isn't he. oh, well. there are worse people to sound like. ) That's not fair, to you or to them. You--can't hold stuff like that against people. If I died, if it was an accident, I wouldn't want anyone to spend the rest of their lives stuck on it. You know? I mean. . ( his voice softens a little, lips pursing. ) You didn't want to hurt anyone, and look at how bad it's making you feel. Would you want someone to hurt like that, over an accident? If--if you got hurt, if I hurt you, would you want me to be really sad over it for forever?

( jon doesn't give him a chance to answer the question, closes his mouth for just a moment before he starts speaking again. ) I killed my mom's cat, Goldie. I know it's not--really the same, she was a cat, but. A hawk swooped in and grabbed onto her and I wanted to save her, so I. . I used my heat vision, but I'm real bad with it still, and it toasted the hawk and the cat. I didn't mean to hurt her, I just. . I didn't know it would be that powerful. I swore I'd never kill anyone again, but it still hurts. Hurting someone never, ever feels good. Whenever I think about it I get this feeling in my stomach--kinda like I'm going to puke, but way more painful than that.

Sometimes bad stuff happens. But you can't. . you can't just let that thing ruin everything.

[trabryu]

[ With his face in Jon's hostage, Mondo isn't able to move an inch. It's not about the physical kind of strength. It's about the intensity, the sincerity, the force within. The powerful blue irises capture the fearful thistle ones, not letting them run away from the pierce of justice. What Jon says is a fair argument. It's the truth. It's the truth that it might be just his ego talking if he's doing something against Jon's will, thinking it would be do the other 'justice'. It's the truth that he wouldn't want Jon to feel real sad forever if he ever accidentally hurt him. Still, this and that are two different things. But he keeps his mouth shut and his ears open, listening carefully to what Jon had to say next. ] ー! [ He shakes his head lightly, frown forming between his brows. ] No... That's still real tough. A cat's life is still a life. [ Losing your pet is like losing a family member. He still remember clearly how much it hurts when he lost Chuck, the sunshine of his younger days. Even now, it still hurts. Just talking about him still makes his eyes water. There's still that hole in his heart that can never be filled with anything else. It's not easy. His hands slowly lay atop Jon's, fingers gently folding over, wrapping them warmly. ] But that's different. You had a good intention, and only that. You treasured Goldie. You did that 'cuz you wanted to protect her. I didn't have a single good one for what I did. It was a lash out ー just 'cuz I couldn't control my own emotions. I couldn't trust the others enough. It was... something I could've prevented.