entrancelogs | It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you!

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It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

Who: EVERYONE!
Where: EVERYWHERE!
When: Friday October 27th - Tuesday October 31st
Rating: PG-13, warn if you're gonna go higher!
Summary: A catch all for the Horrible Memory Truth Event!
The Story:

For the duration of this event, everyone's entire room will be replaced with a memory playing on loop. They will likely recognize the moment as soon as they see it – it is a moment they remember as the worst moment of their entire lives. It could be a memory from home or something that happened in Wonderland. Lengths of the memories will vary, but they will find that these are not memories they can merely watch – they can step into these memories and attempt to make changes to them, and the memories will be long enough that they have time to make changes (though no more than 24 hours). However, anyone who tries will find that it is futile. No matter what you do or how hard you try, the outcome is always exactly the same somehow. No changes you make will prevent that horrible outcome. It just happens over and over and over again no matter what you do.

On top of that, perhaps complicating any attempts to make changes, everyone will be forced to be honest for the duration of the event. No lies or half-truths are allowed, and filters will be gone for the entire five days. If something bothers someone then they will blurt it out, regardless of whether or not it hurts someone's feelings, and no one will be able to simply keep quiet when they have something to say. They must be truthful and honest with every word they say.

This is a catch-all log for all of your Worst Memory needs! Please mark your threads clearly in the subject line with your character's name and Room Number + Floor for character rooms, or just location if you're making a top level for a public place in the mansion (like the tea rooms or the kitchen) so people can see if there's already a thread available. And here's the plot post if you need it!

Have fun!

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[She goes, dragging a hand through her hair as she goes. She knows she'll need to explain, but it'll sound even more horrible than it was-

No, it'll sound as horrible as it was and that's the whole problem.]

No, I'm fine.

[She's not, but none of them are fine. She wasn't fine when it happened, not for a while. Physically, though, she's not hurt. Like she said, this time it wasn't 'real.']

It happened a long time ago.

[ Even if she had been hurt, Chloe realizes it was silly to even ask. She knows first hand now about the healing properties of being a vampire, having lived through it herself briefly.

For Chloe, being burned by the sun and having to drink blood to heal is preferable to what they are going through now. Of course, her pain was far more brief. ]

It doesn't feel like it when you're in the middle of it. [ It kind of just comes out of her mouth, but Chloe knows, having just been through it herself. It being a memory doesn't make it any easier. ] Do you wanna go somewhere else? You don't have to stay here.

[It wasn't the sun that stuck with her. It was the rest of it, the who, what, and why.

It isn't the first time someone's done something horrible to her, and it sure as hell isn't the last. But there's a reason this one is ranked up there in terms of being the worst.]

But I do, don't I? [Caroline looks at her as if searching for some kind of direction.] I mean, if I don't, someone's going to go in there because they think they have to help me and I don't want them to see me like that, you know?

[ Chloe nods in understanding, glancing towards the door again. Luckily her own memory is quiet enough, minus a few gunshots, but nothing like what is coming from Caroline's room. Someone is bound to come along and try to play hero, and Chloe can understand Caroline not wanting people to invade on something so horrible and personal. Chloe still isn't thrilled that Lucifer had seen her own memory, and he had been part of it. ]

I'll get some paper out of the wardrobe... We can write a note and pin it to the door. [ Chloe just doesn't want her to be here anymore listening to this. ] We'll let people know you're safe and... Do you have a key? We can lock the room up.

[She doesn't know if that's going to be enough if someone is worried enough, but she nods her head, pushing off the wall.]

The door's already locked. I figured someone would...break it down or something.

[She can't say she's not relieved to have an out, for someone to give her a solution that isn't staying here, even if it should have been obvious to her. Listening to that made it so hard to think.]

The room across from us is empty, I think. We can check in there.

We'll leave a note then too, to be safe.

[ Chloe takes Caroline's elbow, leading her towards the empty room. She's happy that Caroline is agreeing to it, allowing Chloe to give her an out. ]

Come on. Let's get this done and we can go somewhere and talk, okay?

[She nods numbly, following after her as they collect paper and a pen. Caroline writes up a quick note, and after taping it to the front of the door, Caroline is easy enough to guide away from the whole mess.

She seems to shake a little bit of the weight on her shoulders by the time they hit the stairs.]

Sorry you had to deal with that. I should have thought of that sooner.

[ Chloe walks next to her, taking the stairs at a slower pace now that they are away from the room. She doesn't feel as panicked now, better able to wrap her mind around Caroline being okay and blocking out the horrible things her mind had conjured to explain what was happening in that room. ]

It's not your fault. Lucifer had to get me out of mine... I don't think any of us are thinking clearly right now. [ Chloe glances over at her. ] If you want to talk, you know, I'm here for you. But it's okay if you don't, too.

I'm glad he was there to help.

[While she is glad, the way she says it sounds half-hearted. She'd needed help, too. The fact that any of this had happened at all just left her unsettled. Wonderland just liked to mess with everything they think is safe. This is the second time she couldn't trust going to sleep without waking up to a nightmare that she couldn't quite tell was one right away.]

It wouldn't be all that fair if I didn't explain, right? You'll just worry about it, so...

[She takes a deep breath, then just launches right in. Talking makes her not think so much.]

My family was one of the Founder's back when people first settled in Mystic Falls. Because of that, my parents were part of the town's Founder's Council, which was supposed to set up rules, organize things in town, that kind of thing. Or so we thought, anyway.

Apparently, they've had a vampire problem in the past, so the Founder's Council was also this sort of secret group that watched for vampire attacks and had all these special gadgets to help fight them. They were taught that we're all soulless and evil, of course.

[ Chloe would have worried; she would have understood, of course, but there would always be that part of her in the back of her mind that wondered what Caroline had been through and worried how hard it would be for her to move on.

She has support, of course. Her friends from home, Elena, Klaus. Chloe is an outsider to their world but she cares about her. Chloe wants to protect her, even though she knows she can't, especially from something like this.

Listening intently, Chloe nods thoughtfully, her mouth set in a line. ]

I guess your family didn't take it well when you turned into something they were taught to hate?

Understatement.

[Her chuckle lacks any actual mirth.]

My Mom found out first. I had to kind of vamp out in front of her because she was going to kill Stefan and Damon. It took a long time before we worked things out.

[She takes a breath.]

My Mom told my Dad what I was, and he eventually came to visit. He'd forced himself through some kind of training, so he could resist compulsion. He didn't want to kill me, so he thought that he'd try something else. [She pauses for a moment, looking straight ahead.] He tried to fix me.

[ The way she says it, the look on her face as the words form, it makes Chloe sick. She doesn't know what Caroline means, because it doesn't make sense. Even Chloe knows she can't be fixed, and considering the way she's chosen to live her life, she's about the best a vampire could possibly be as far as Chloe was concerned.

Then she thinks about the screams she heard, the desire to break into the room and put a bullet in whoever was making Caroline scream like that. Only to now know whatever it was... It was caused by her own father. ]

He was the one... doing that to you?

Yep.

[The word pops out of her mouth, bitter and sad.]

He thought he could get rid of my bloodlust with some kind of weird psychology wiring. He took my ring first. I was starving, so of course when he'd show me a blood bag, my eyes would get all dark like they usually do, and he'd open up a window in the ceiling and let the sun burn me. There was vervain being filtered into the air so I couldn't break out.

[She idly brushes some hair out of her face once she stops staring at the ground.]

I get that he was trying to help me, but he knew that it was wrong, too. I guess when you think your daughter's been turned into a monster, you're willing to try anything to change it. He just didn't realize at the time that I wasn't one in the first place.

[ Even though Chloe's exposure to the sun had been fleeting, and she had healed quickly when Freya gave her blood, the idea of having that done over and over again... Chloe can't even comprehend how painful that must have been, even without the starvation and the vervain. Even without knowing it was your own father doing it to you.

Chloe can't fathom her own father doing it. She can't imagine being capable of doing something like that to Trixie and doesn't want to think about what she would do to Dan if he ever hurt their daughter like that.

But she also knows hate can drive people to do impossible things. Hating something about someone you love only makes it worse. ]

God, Caroline... I'm so sorry. [ The words are meaningless, but Chloe doesn't know what else to say. That kind of betrayal has to cut deep, and only to relive it again? Wonderland is particularly cruel. ] Did he finally figure out that he can't change what you are?

I guess. [Her father had loved her, that much she knew. But she's pretty sure he would have done whatever he could to make her human again if he'd thought it'd been possible, whether she wanted it or not.] My Mom and Tyler got me out of there. She had to threaten him with a gun.

[Tyler had carried her out, sick and weak.]

He never stopped hating vampires. He was murdered with vampire blood in his system, and he chose to die over becoming like me.

[He left her. So many people had left her now, most by choice.]

[ Knowing what Caroline had tried to do to save her mother somehow makes this worse. Chloe can't understand that kind of relationship, from a daughter's point of view or a mother's. She knows in her heart she would never be capable of doing that to Trixie, anymore than she is sure her father would have never chosen death over being with his daughter.

(So many of her friends have seemed to suffer when it came to their parents.) ]

If it were Trixie, I'm not sure I wouldn't have killed Dan. It goes against everything I've ever felt as a parent. I think I'd rather be a vampire than leave her like our dads did. [ She lets out a sigh, annoyed by whatever is making her just admit whatever is on her mind. This event is terrible. ] Even if he never stopped hating vampires, did he at least stop hating you?

My Mom nearly shot him, if that says something. She would have if he hadn't let them get me, I think.

[But he'd let Tyler through; she'd heard it happen through the door even in her weakness.]

Go figure I was saving his ass within a week because Damon's an idiot. [Hoo boy. This truth event is a doozy.] Not that it mattered that much. He still died sooner than he should have because he hated what I am too much to let himself become one to stay with me.

[She realizes that without context, that makes almost no sense, so after a breath, she clarifies.]

He was murdered with vampire blood in his system. He picked dying over finishing his transition.

[ Well, Chloe isn't at all surprised that Damon is an idiot. Men tended to be, at least in her experience, and Chloe has gathered enough from her conversations with Caroline to know that... There were things about Damon she probably doesn't want to know, considering his relationship with Elena. ]

It sounds like he would have just hated himself if he had transitioned. [ She knows her bluntness isn't going to help matters, but there isn't much she can do about it. ] Parenting doesn't come with a handbook. Unless your a sociopath, we all do something we regret sooner or later. Some of our regrets just end up bigger than others.

[To Damon's credit, her Dad had tried to torture her, was threatening to expose them to the council which would put them all in danger. But he was still an idiot if he thought she'd let him kill her Dad.]

Yeah, I know. [She sighs, hands falling into her lap.] He would have hurt someone eventually. We all do. And then he wouldn't have been able to live with it.

[She stares at the floor, frustrated and sad.]

It still sucks, though.

[ Caroline seems like the type who would protect the people she loves against all odds, and Chloe doubts that no matter what her dad did to her... He would always be her dad. That love never really goes away. ]

I wouldn't have been able to forgive him, either. Maybe eventually but... My dad didn't choose to die, and I still struggled with not being angry that he chose the career he did. I blamed myself, because I was the reason he was where he was when he was murdered. It took me a long time to get passed that anger, because it's easier to be angry that deal with the pain.

[ That was Lucifer's problem, after all. Knowing him made Chloe happy she finally came to terms with her father's death and placed the blame where it should have been the whole time - on his murderer. She couldn't imagine spending her whole life stewing in that anger. ] What happened after your mom died makes a lot more sense now that I know what happened to your dad. [ Why deal with the anger or pain at all when you could just completely shut it out? ]

[She nods quietly in agreement. She is still mad, clearly, but she also thought she'd forgiven him. Maybe that simply wasn't true when faced with it all over again.]

You mean when I turned it off?

[She'd been angry about her Mom too, but she'd been angrier at herself than anyone else. Maybe that's what had made it so much harder, at least in part.]

It would be easier, sure, but I know myself. I couldn't live like that forever, and then it'd only make things worse. It doesn't really help, not in the long run. I just...I couldn't do it right then. I couldn't deal with it.

I wouldn't be able to either. If I had the choice? I probably would have done the same.

[ It's a truth she hates admitting, because Chloe never likes to to run from her problems, and that's all it is. Not dealing with it just makes things harder down the road. Lucifer is a perfect example of that. ]

I know you wouldn't have. You're a good person, Caroline. I know you well enough to say that with complete confidence. [ Chloe sees the good in most people; Caroline, Lucifer, Seth. It doesn't make it any less true, though. ] Being what you are isn't what makes you a monster. It's the choices you make that determine that. I mean, look at Lucifer... If the Devil can learn to be good, there's definitely hope for the rest of us.

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It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

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