It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

[vitaelamorte]

Who: EVERYONE!
Where: EVERYWHERE!
When: Friday October 27th - Tuesday October 31st
Rating: PG-13, warn if you're gonna go higher!
Summary: A catch all for the Horrible Memory Truth Event!
The Story:

For the duration of this event, everyone's entire room will be replaced with a memory playing on loop. They will likely recognize the moment as soon as they see it – it is a moment they remember as the worst moment of their entire lives. It could be a memory from home or something that happened in Wonderland. Lengths of the memories will vary, but they will find that these are not memories they can merely watch – they can step into these memories and attempt to make changes to them, and the memories will be long enough that they have time to make changes (though no more than 24 hours). However, anyone who tries will find that it is futile. No matter what you do or how hard you try, the outcome is always exactly the same somehow. No changes you make will prevent that horrible outcome. It just happens over and over and over again no matter what you do.

On top of that, perhaps complicating any attempts to make changes, everyone will be forced to be honest for the duration of the event. No lies or half-truths are allowed, and filters will be gone for the entire five days. If something bothers someone then they will blurt it out, regardless of whether or not it hurts someone's feelings, and no one will be able to simply keep quiet when they have something to say. They must be truthful and honest with every word they say.

This is a catch-all log for all of your Worst Memory needs! Please mark your threads clearly in the subject line with your character's name and Room Number + Floor for character rooms, or just location if you're making a top level for a public place in the mansion (like the tea rooms or the kitchen) so people can see if there's already a thread available. And here's the plot post if you need it!

Have fun!

Comments

[postictal]

"It's not you I'm worried about anymore."

That's - the fucking truth, then, huh? So now they're one for one, toe to toe with one another on the uncomfortable admissions front. At least there's that, right? At least they can both be awkward and vulnerable and unnerved over the fact that they're both spilling their guts in ways that are distinctly fucking intrusive.

"I can't believe I - " A tightening of his jaw, a muscle twitching in his cheek, and he turns back to swiping a can of diced tomatoes into his backpack. "I mean, I know. You're not the one asking questions anymore."

[choosetruth]

"Jay, you mean." It's not a hard conclusion to draw. Tim's always worried about Jay, while simultaneously being terrified of him. It's probably not the most healthy relationship, but who's Georgia to judge? She's never had a healthy relationship in her life. "Do you think he'll try to find you?"

[postictal]

“Yes.” It’s a ragged, terrified whisper, breaking beneath the pressure of the lump squeezed over his throat. “Yes. He will.”

And he’ll try and find those answers. Like he’s got right to them. Like he ever did. He’ll do it because he can and because he doesn’t know how not to, and all the regret in the world won’t twke that back.

“And it’s not just him,” he says. “It’s anyone. Anyone who asks. I can’t let It get out.”

[choosetruth]

"You know how much it kills me not to ask, right? Especially when you say shit like this."

She's promised not to pry. She won't pry, because she believes in keeping her promises, but now especially, she can't disguise how badly she wants to know.

[postictal]

The effort it takes not to say anything that might spill it out is frankly unfair, a heated poker burrowing between his ribs and leveraging something unwanted from behind his tongue. A low groan stretches out between gritted teeth, and he’s reached the point where he can’t not speak.

“I ruined him,” he says miserably. “He just wanted to help and I let him and he’s dead because of me. And I’m so afraid you’ll make the same mistake that I don’t even want to chance it.”

[choosetruth]

"I sincerely doubt I'm capable of making the same mistakes as Jay." Her tone is dry and sharp. It's the truth, though she might have stopped there if the event didn't push her to continue. "My own mistakes, certainly. I've fucked up in ways that would probably make Jay wet himself. But I still like to think they're at least smart mistakes."

[postictal]

"Sometimes I think you could have been him." And boy, is that the least flattering thing possible to say. It's a good thing he wouldn't have left it there, event or otherwise. "Just - desperate to uncover the truth, trying to help, and I know you wouldn't have made his mistakes, but the fact that he started looking for answers at all was the biggest mistake and I know that."

The last words feel as though they might have been wrenched from him, pried out of his chest like someone just tried to tear out his ribs. God, but she could have been him.

[choosetruth]

"Great, just who I didn't want to be compared to." She scowls and shakes her head. "Rocket's right. The way this event fucks with sarcasm may not be the worst part, but it's sure as hell annoying. How the fuck am I supposed to cope with this shit if I can't hide my feelings behind snark?"

There's a pause while her mind catches up to what her mouth says and she winces.

"Please ignore that."

[postictal]

"Rocket said the same thing to me," he mutters. Unsurprisingly, it seems being robbed of the only coping mechanism any of them have is playing righteous havoc on everything else. And god, god almighty he needs to not get on the subject of Rocket, because he knows too many things about him to feel like he's ready to be tipped over that edge just now.

"Here's to never talking about any of what we just said here again. Okay?" He hefts the strap of his backpack a little more firmly over one shoulder.

[choosetruth]

"Fine by me." Georgia loves the truth. That doesn't mean she loves overshare. Still, she frowns at him. "If you're dead set on this running and hiding plan, be careful. People die if they go too far in the woods."

cw suicide ideation

[postictal]

"I know," he says. And then, because Wonderland isn't content to let him leave it at that, because it's being a stupid little fuck of an event that's drilled down over his tongue with a weight he can't shrug off, he adds: "Why do you think I'm going?"

And he blanches, shifting back one step, and then another.

"Forget I said that," he says, the harsh snap of the words the preface for the coiling panic that he knows will have him bolting if things escalate. If they escalate further.

[choosetruth]

She freezes, turning go fix him with a sharp look. "I can't forget that. And I can't just let you go. I don't know how many times I have to make it clear that I'm not gonna fucking let you die for you to get it into your head, but believe me. No lie is worth your life."

[postictal]

"It's not a lie. It's the fact that if I say the wrong thing to anyone, they'll have to live with it. And I won't do that. I can't do that to someone else!"

He's tired of doing that to other people. No one even has to want it. They just have to ask the wrong thing, and it'll work its way out. And then they'll all fucking suffer for it.

[choosetruth]

"So lock yourself in a room! Hide in the caves or something! Duct tape your mouth if you think it'll help." She throws a hand out. "Something that doesn't involve fucking dying."

[postictal]

“With all the shit people around here can pull? Teleporting, or - or just dogging me until I give something up? It’s Jay. Dying wasn’t enough to get him off my fucking back!”

Now it sounds like he’s calling Jay a burden. Fantastic.

[choosetruth]

"So what do you think happens now?" She crosses her arms. "How do you know he won't follow you now and get himself killed as well?"

It's probably a low blow, but she's never been above that. Not when it might mean saving someone's life.

[postictal]

"What's it matter? He's already dead, because I tied him up and left him!"

Fuck. That's the truth of it, isn't it? He couldn't save him then. He can't save him now. He's trying, trying harder than fucking anything, as if that will atone for any of it when he knows it won't. It won't.

[choosetruth]

"He's not dead here, is he? And we know that just because you come back to life doesn't mean dying here is a good idea." She scowls at him. "If you won't stay alive for your own sake, then stay alive for him."

[postictal]

"He's the reason I have to do this," he whispers. "If I don't, he'll get...he'll look for the answers he knows I have. He thinks that'll fix things. It'll just make it worse. For him, for everyone. I never should've been a part of - of this, of his life."

Jay didn't deserve this.

He didn't deserve Tim's bullshit. He didn't deserve any of it. He just wanted to fucking help an old college friend, and where'd that get him?

[choosetruth]

"See, this is why lying is total bullshit."

Georgia tugs her sunglasses off so she can give him the full force of her glare.

"How long are you going to keep going like this? I get--" the words choke out. She frowns and tries again. "I don't entirely understand why you can't tell the truth, but I do understand that your world is different enough from my own that I can't apply the same standards."

Ugh. She's never been one to lie much, but shortening the truth is nice for conversational flow.

"But Jay doesn't get it. And he's circling closer and closer and you won't be able to lie to him forever and dying won't fix anything, especially here! You need a better solution. You need to talk to him."

[postictal]

"So I do it later." There's no mistaking the terror in his voice, stark and unveiled. The idea of talking to Jay about any of this properly, laying it all out pat, picking and choosing which fractions of information to feed him, is nothing short of utterly horrifying.

What choice does he have?

"And not when he can make me spill it all just by looking at me. It's trying to show people the truth that got him killed - that spread me, and my problems to everyone who thought his stupid videos were worth a watch. I have no idea how many lives I've ruined!"

[choosetruth]

"No," she says, voice surprisingly soft at the admission. "Telling him now would be a very bad idea. Even I can see that."

She doesn't like lying. But she knows the truth can be just as dangerous. Especially now, in a situation like this. Tim needs to talk to Jay and be honest with him, but he also needs to figure out how best to do that safely. And blurting everything out? Kind of the opposite of that.

"Dwelling on that is a very good way to completely paralyze yourself into inaction. And yes, of course this is speaking from experience." She glances down at her hands. "You have no idea how many people have died because I wouldn't stop telling the truth."

[postictal]

That's a level of awareness that, despite the panic that's rapidly seeding itself into his chest, manages to arrest him into stillness. He hadn't expected her to admit that, not now and not ever, particularly not since Tim made a point of trying to catch her in some kind of act of childish hypocrisy. The more he insisted, the more it seemed she dug in her heels out of principle.

But now? Now, there's no avoiding it. There's no avoiding any of it.

"How do you live with it?" he whispers. "How do you keep going after all that?"

[choosetruth]

“By having someone who’s equally fucked up to hold me through the nightmares?” She cringes visibly. That was... definitely more honest and vulnerable than she’s intended. Her nightmares are no one’s business but her own. She exhales, then presses on.

“Shaun helps. So does knowing that while my actions may have led to innumerable deaths, there are others who are more responsible. Pissing off people that evil can’t be all wrong, can it?” She swallows, then the event forces out: “I hope not, anyway.”

[postictal]

"That...must be nice."

His shoulders slump. It must be nice. For her. For someone like her, who has someone she can trust unconditionally. For someone whose work has actually helped others instead of merely making it all worse. That's not a luxury available to him.

Maybe it never will be.

He turns away, his tone listless. "Hope that works out for you."