It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

[vitaelamorte]

Who: EVERYONE!
Where: EVERYWHERE!
When: Friday October 27th - Tuesday October 31st
Rating: PG-13, warn if you're gonna go higher!
Summary: A catch all for the Horrible Memory Truth Event!
The Story:

For the duration of this event, everyone's entire room will be replaced with a memory playing on loop. They will likely recognize the moment as soon as they see it – it is a moment they remember as the worst moment of their entire lives. It could be a memory from home or something that happened in Wonderland. Lengths of the memories will vary, but they will find that these are not memories they can merely watch – they can step into these memories and attempt to make changes to them, and the memories will be long enough that they have time to make changes (though no more than 24 hours). However, anyone who tries will find that it is futile. No matter what you do or how hard you try, the outcome is always exactly the same somehow. No changes you make will prevent that horrible outcome. It just happens over and over and over again no matter what you do.

On top of that, perhaps complicating any attempts to make changes, everyone will be forced to be honest for the duration of the event. No lies or half-truths are allowed, and filters will be gone for the entire five days. If something bothers someone then they will blurt it out, regardless of whether or not it hurts someone's feelings, and no one will be able to simply keep quiet when they have something to say. They must be truthful and honest with every word they say.

This is a catch-all log for all of your Worst Memory needs! Please mark your threads clearly in the subject line with your character's name and Room Number + Floor for character rooms, or just location if you're making a top level for a public place in the mansion (like the tea rooms or the kitchen) so people can see if there's already a thread available. And here's the plot post if you need it!

Have fun!

Comments

[keephersafe]

... o-okay.

[He'll take her at her word. She didn't immediately go for a weapon like last time, so he's happy to chalk that up as a win for himself.

R leans against the edge of the roof for a few minutes, running what he saw in his room through his head over and over, desperately trying to make sense of it around repeatedly misfiring synapses. That young boy had been him - yes, check. That woman..? She looked like him.

His mother? Then why didn't he care about what was happening to her? Why had he just stood there and let her die? He grinds the heel of one hand into the side of his head, digging the rounded bone of his wrist into his temple. R had never been so frustrated that he can't remember any of his life before he became what he is now.

He glances across to Ellie. Whatever she saw, he's sure she was able to remember when it happened.]

A.. are you okay?

[backpacking]

Fuck no. This all sucks.

[ She's being more honest than usual, which seems to surprise her... but doesn't exactly bother her. After all, Wonderland deserves to be shit talked. ]

I don't want to have to relive bad memories, and nobody else should have to, either.

[ But, then, when has life ever been fair? ]

[keephersafe]

[Rather than shrugging, like usual, he nods. Yeah, it sucks. While seeing what was apparently the worst memory in his head hasn't brought anything back to him, it has left him with a lot of other questions.

Just what kind of person was he when he was alive? The kind of person who could watch their mother be murdered and just... leave the room?]

I d... didn't remember mine. [R frowns, his expression twisting to one of clear discomfort.] From b... before I died.

[backpacking]

You didn't remember it? [ Ellie frowns, too, looking hard into the face of this... talking, thinking zombie. ] So, like... when you died, your memories got screwed up?

[ She assumes that's what he's saying. ]

Sorry. [ She offers, and means it. ] It's - fuck, it'd be one thing to just... be a zombie, but then... if you didn't remember anything from before?

[ Though... maybe that'd be easier, really. Considering what state he's in. ]

[keephersafe]

Forgot everything.

[He isn't looking back at her, though he can feel her eyes on him. One shoulder lifts in a shrug as he looks down over the edge of the building.]

M... my life, how... it happened. [There's a bite mark, one that sometimes itches on the back of one of his ankles. He suspects that might have been it, but he doesn't remember how it got there.

R closes his eyes briefly.]

I w... woke up in the woods. [He remembers that. Trees. It was dark.] Hungry. [Yes, he'd been hungry then, too. The Hunger of the Dead is an intense thing that seems to almost speak to you.] And... I-I was alone. But not f... for long.

[His head shakes minutely, and he looks over at her again.]

We... always group together.

[backpacking]

Hey, well, sometimes it's better to not remember. I wish I didn't.

[ Shit. She blanches a bit, swallowing. The bite on her arm itches, aware. Why'd I say that? ]

Who groups together? Zombies? [ Obviously. She quickly pursues this subject. ] Well, yeah. Herd mentality, or something, right?

[ Or hive mind, as it might be with CBI. ]

[keephersafe]

[A lot of the time, that he doesn't remember doesn't bother him too much, but sometimes - and especially right now - he can't help but wonder... just how much has he forgotten? How much of what he was is completely lost, simply because he doesn't remember who that person was?

But, then... if the person he used to be was anything like that boy who so passively watched his mother be murdered, he isn't so sure that he wants to know.]

Y-yeah. [Something like that. R tips his head very slightly from one side to the other, then shrugs.]

W... we go to wh-where we remember. [Airports. Shopping malls. Subway stations. Some kind of vague recollection of people draws them to places like that. Yet, strangely, R always liked to keep himself apart from them, even while they were always close by.]

... S-sort of.

['Remember' is a strong word when you're really just talking about an instinct.]

[backpacking]

Where you remember? [ She thinks of Infected in tunnels, bus stations, malls, and schools. ... But, then, Infected aren't zombies. Infected aren't the dead come back to life: they're people taken over by a fucking fungus.

R isn't Infected. There's a difference. ]

... Right. [ Ellie sighs, finally. ] Well... are there any other zombies you hang around? Like, friends, sort of?

[keephersafe]

[Shrug. Nod? He doesn't remember spending much time at the airport but he remembers knowing that's where people would be. What he'd found hadn't been what the Living called people, but there was safety in numbers, and the airport hosted such a large number of Dead that the Living didn't dare to come near it.

But she asks about friends and she might not expect the way his expression brightens up. Or that he nods.]

Y-yeah. One. [One finger held up. Just the one. R pauses, tilts his head slowly to one side, then shrugs with a crooked little smile.]

H... he's a-an asshole.

[backpacking]

[ That... makes her snort, amused and surprised. ]

A dead asshole. [ She supplies dryly. ] Wow. Glad he's still got his, uh... 'personality.'

[ Even after whatever happened to him. ]

Does that... make you feel better? I guess? Having somebody there you know?

[keephersafe]

[R looks like he thinking about that. The cogs are turning however slowly...

Then he shrugs.]

Guess so.

[He couldn't even say he really knew M. R barely knew himself, and the two of them had never had what could be called conversations. M was just a familiar face, a central point around which R could occasionally ground himself, but for the most part he preferred to spend his time by himself.]

Th... there was someone-- else. A girl. Julie.

[Damn it, why did he say that?]

[backpacking]

Another zombie? [ A lady zombie that R liked to hang around? She peers curiously at him, waiting for the explanation. ] Seems like you had a regular crew.

[ Did they think of each other as friends? As she listens, she finds that she's... maybe sensibly, interested in what he has to say. It's not every day you get to talk to a dead person, after all. ]

[keephersafe]

No. Julie's... alive. [There's a hesitation there. It doesn't come out as easily as his comments about M. He makes a face, then shakes his head.

'Don't say you ate her boyfriend. Don't say you ate her boyfriend.']

She's... different. Changing things.

[backpacking]

Alive? [ Huh. So, he's talked to people before. ... Before Wonderland, that is. ]

Different, huh? [ Can zombies get crushes? How does that work? ] So, what d'you mean? How's she changing things?

[keephersafe]

[Sh.. rug?

Zombies can definitely get crushes. Not all zombies get crushes, because not all zombies are mentally present enough to realise that's what is happening to them. R is... somewhat special in that regard.]

When I saw her, I... f-felt something. Here. [His hand touches his chest, over his heart.] Sh... she wasn't afraid... for long.

[In that respect, he always thought he'd done well.]

She... t-talked to me like... I was a person. N-not just... [Another shrug.

Not just a walking corpse.]

[backpacking]

Oh. [ He's clearly indicating his heart, right? So he does have some feelings for this Julie person. ] Wow, that's... like something from a movie, honestly. "Girl falls in love with zombie." Or the other way around.

[ Like Beauty and the Beast, but with 100% more zombie. ]

Why wasn't she afraid? Seems like common sense. [ beat ] No offense.

[keephersafe]

[Don't even start, he knows just how cheesy it sounds. He looks down at his feet with a small, awkward smile and shrugs one of his shoulders.]

I... e-earned her t-trust.

[That was it, wasn't it? He saved her, he didn't eat her, he kept her safe and made sure she had enough to eat. He showed her that inside his head there was a real person, with real thoughts.]

She... didn't know the Dead... c-could be like me.

[backpacking]

Huh. [ That'd take a while, she imagines... but, here she is, talking to R herself. It's a little different, considering - well, Wonderland, but it isn't so different that she can't imagine it. ]

Are you the only one like this? You said you had a friend, so... is he also, like - a peaceful zombie?

[ Or whatever you want to call it? ]

[keephersafe]

M's... [A sigh. R shifts awkwardly.] M... thinks I'm weird.

[Most other zombies think that R is weird. Most of them don't have the drive that he has - that spark in him that's keeping him as close to life as he can get.]

But... he's not bad. He helped us e-...escape... when I took Julie... h-home.

[backpacking]

So, he's a good zombie. [ Ellie decides, nodding in response. ] Cool. M'glad you're not the only one.

[ That... seems like it'd get pretty lonely.

There's a long pause. ]

Do you wish Julie was here? In Wonderland?

[keephersafe]

['Good' might be stretching it, but M's... alright. He's still got some brains that work, unlike a lot of them.

Ellie asks that question and the look he gives her is an odd one - not dangerous, but just a little sad.]

... Yeah.

[He wouldn't have lied about that, even if he could.]

I miss her.

[backpacking]

I get it. [ It makes her think of Riley, of course. ] But... maybe she'll show up one day. You never know what's going to happen in this place, right?

[ That's basic Wonderland understanding, that just about anything could happen at any time. There's reason for hope. ]

[keephersafe]

[He smiles a little bit. Imagining Julie here... he's sure she'd hate it, but he wonders what she'd think of how he's been getting on while he's been here.

But then... he shrugs. A small frown replaces the smile.]

Don't know... if she'd w-... want to see me.

[backpacking]

Why? Sounds like you were close.

[ He's got feelings for her, anyway. Maybe she feels the same way? ]

You said you didn't hurt her or anything, right?

[keephersafe]

No.

[The answer comes immediately and he look at her as if he can't believe she'd even suggest something like that.]

I was taking her... home. It rained... so we stopped. She took the car. [A shrug.] Left me there.