It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

[vitaelamorte]

Who: EVERYONE!
Where: EVERYWHERE!
When: Friday October 27th - Tuesday October 31st
Rating: PG-13, warn if you're gonna go higher!
Summary: A catch all for the Horrible Memory Truth Event!
The Story:

For the duration of this event, everyone's entire room will be replaced with a memory playing on loop. They will likely recognize the moment as soon as they see it – it is a moment they remember as the worst moment of their entire lives. It could be a memory from home or something that happened in Wonderland. Lengths of the memories will vary, but they will find that these are not memories they can merely watch – they can step into these memories and attempt to make changes to them, and the memories will be long enough that they have time to make changes (though no more than 24 hours). However, anyone who tries will find that it is futile. No matter what you do or how hard you try, the outcome is always exactly the same somehow. No changes you make will prevent that horrible outcome. It just happens over and over and over again no matter what you do.

On top of that, perhaps complicating any attempts to make changes, everyone will be forced to be honest for the duration of the event. No lies or half-truths are allowed, and filters will be gone for the entire five days. If something bothers someone then they will blurt it out, regardless of whether or not it hurts someone's feelings, and no one will be able to simply keep quiet when they have something to say. They must be truthful and honest with every word they say.

This is a catch-all log for all of your Worst Memory needs! Please mark your threads clearly in the subject line with your character's name and Room Number + Floor for character rooms, or just location if you're making a top level for a public place in the mansion (like the tea rooms or the kitchen) so people can see if there's already a thread available. And here's the plot post if you need it!

Have fun!

Comments

[ssmisery]

Not really. A few network conversations just doesn't make me your friend, especially when I wasn't really invested in them, was messing with you for a decent portion of them, and still don't particularly care about you one way or another.

[The really distressing thing is that, even with all this honesty, Lapis doesn't have the decency to act like she regrets saying this. Normally she'd probably at least need to be provoked before she got quite this harsh, but it is still true, she doesn't really care, and there are worse things to be than harsh.]

-- And neither does you invading my privacy by accident. I'm absolutely someone who'll hold that against you even though it wasn't your fault. Frankly, you're lucky I'm not holding more of a grudge about it as it is.

[moraloutrage]

...Ah. [So there it is. The brutal truth. Ishimaru bows his head sadly with a slight tremble as he processes that. After all the time that they've shared with each other, she doesn't care at all.]

I... I see.

[Blinking back tears, he proceeds to bow deeply.]

All that I can do is offer my sincerest apologies! I am sorry that I misunderstood the meaning of our past conversations, and of course I am sorry a hundred times over for witnessing your memories!

[ssmisery]

[okay if she knew she was making him cry that might be enough to make her feel bad. Still, Lapis never has really cared for Ishimaru's whole weird hyper-polite deference; that's how things got to this point in the first place. It's even worse in person, and it's definitely starting to feel awkward.]

Why would you care that much? It's not like I've been especially nice to you, or we talked about anything interesting. I seriously doubt we have much in common.

[moraloutrage]

But... Even if you doubt it, we do not know for sure! [He says as he rises with a finger pointed dramatically towards her.]

I still found value in our conversations. And I have wished to be friends with you! But I understand that... that for this to happen, you have to put in an effort, too! We both have to try!

[ssmisery]

Well there's the problem. I don't try. Especially not with people, unless I already have a reason to like you.

[moraloutrage]

I... I see. That certainly is a problem! [He looks down at the ground with a frown.]

Does that mean that, despite my efforts, I have not shown myself to be likeable at all?!

[ssmisery]

Kinda. [goddamn, Lapis --

However, much as she'd like to stop there, she does not. Now she's becoming a bit more visibly vexed by the words coming out of her mouth.]

But it's probably more about me keeping everyone at a distance. I don't even really want to get attached to more people in the first place, and especially not here.

[moraloutrage]

[The truth hurts!

But he listens to the rest of what she says attentively.]

What? Why not? I... I can understand feeling hesitant in this place specifically, because of how temporary people can go home! [That's one truth that he can't hide.] But, even so, bonds with others are very important! I don't know how I endured as long as I did before I started making a number of important friends!

[ssmisery]

[Lapis grits her teeth as her hands come up to clutch at her elbows. There's no getting around answering a direct question, but when it's so broad she can at least focus on some parts over others. She can. She doesn't want to do any of this, but she can manage that much.]

Because I hate this place. [She begins with full vehemence; she certainly has no problem saying that.] I hate it so much. I hate being here, and I would -- I wouldn't do anything to get out, but I'd do a lot. So of course there's no point getting attached. It would just make things more complicated. And...

[You wouldn't even think it was possible for her to get even more tense, but here she goes.] And a lot of me still doesn't want to do anything that's going to make it more bearable, or make me less miserable here, because I still feel like that would be giving up.

[moraloutrage]

[That sure is an explanation! Her arguments strike at the heart of his assumptions and his own feelings about this place, but he stands and weathers it. Ishimaru frowns seriously and offers a nod.]

I... I see. If you feel that way about this place, then I can see how you would feel that way! My own feelings on this place are more mixed. Even though there are horrible things, there are great things as well. Some of the people here... They have been saved from horrible, life-threatening situations! S-some people can only live full lives here in this world!

That is why... I myself would not want to leave this place behind. [He takes a breath, and he looks at her as he tries to put more thoughts to words.] B-but I do not think that making it more bearable would be giving up. It could just be... compromising, for the time being!

[ssmisery]

[She shoots him a flat look at that last bit, but her voice is forceful.] I'm not going to compromise.

[There is a pause. Lapis looks again as though the words being pulled out of are is a downright physical discomfort.] I know that some people managed to come from situations even worse than this and all, but I don't care about them. I've been through worse too. Before I got dragged here, things were finally getting better than they'd been in so long, and now I'm just... [Her shoulders hunch defensively, and she wrenches herself to turn at least partly away.] Back to being hurt and angry all the time.

[moraloutrage]

[Ishimaru continues to listen to her and is stinged by more of her harshness. Normally, he would be quick to accept her decision. But he can't hold back to his reaction to her last words.]

Hold it right there! If this situation makes you feel so bad, then is it really such a good idea to close yourself off from the world and others?! You can't find a way back home like this! The more we all work together, the surer we are to find a solution that achieves the best of both worlds!

[...But after a beat, he adds:]

I apologize if my words were too forceful!

[ssmisery]

[She looks back at him, flatter again and calmer.]

How can you seriously believe that? There's nothing anyone here can do about this place.

[moraloutrage]

A-actually I... I do not completely believe it! [It hurts to be forced to admit that.] I have many doubts about whether or not this can truly succeed. But at the same time, I still want to try! I am someone who believes that hard work can change the world. Even an unusual world like this one! So... even with my doubts, I can't just sit here and accept it as impossible. I have to try my best!

[ssmisery]

[Stars. Even with the forced honesty, Lapis doesn't have a response right away. She could call it naïve, or she could call it enviable, but in all truth neither of those can handle the scope of it. Maybe -- if anything, maybe it's one of those things she's missing, a shape described only by feeling around the empty space, and so her honest thoughts are nothing at all. So she says something else.]

Do you still want me to like you?

[moraloutrage]

[Ishimaru's energy winds down. And he responds to her with a soft nod.]

Yes. I may not agree with your outlook, but I still wish that you liked me! [And, more words are dragged out of him.] ...I want everyone to like me.

[ssmisery]

Oh, good, I'm glad that you're getting forced to say embarrassing things about your feelings too. [Beat. She continues oddly blandly -- not to say that the bitter grumpiness is gone, of course, but it's fallen out of focus, with a look like she's sizing him up more than anything.] You do understand that you're exploiting an event to make me talk about things I don't want to, right?

[moraloutrage]

Ack! [He quickly claps his hands over his mouth in shame! Called out! But after a moment, he lowers his hands and speaks while bowing.]

That... that was not my intention, I assure you! I just wanted to get to know you! But... This can wait, until this event passes over!

[ssmisery]

No, I figured. Of course you didn't stop to realize what you're doing. You're not going to, and I'm only pointing this out because I have to.

[She fold her arms, imperious as any good quest giver. The fact is, if Ishimaru wants a way to win her over, they've already come up with it together.]

If you really think it makes any difference what we do, then convince me. Show me. You're obviously never going to just talk me out of refusing to listen.

[moraloutrage]

[Ishimaru sweats lightly and nods along.]

I happen to enjoy a hearty debate and place a lot of value in its effect. But... It is true that actions can speak louder than words.

[He flares up, determined.]

Very well! I will do something to prove myself and my way to you! I swear it!