entrancelogs | It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you!

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It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

Who: EVERYONE!
Where: EVERYWHERE!
When: Friday October 27th - Tuesday October 31st
Rating: PG-13, warn if you're gonna go higher!
Summary: A catch all for the Horrible Memory Truth Event!
The Story:

For the duration of this event, everyone's entire room will be replaced with a memory playing on loop. They will likely recognize the moment as soon as they see it – it is a moment they remember as the worst moment of their entire lives. It could be a memory from home or something that happened in Wonderland. Lengths of the memories will vary, but they will find that these are not memories they can merely watch – they can step into these memories and attempt to make changes to them, and the memories will be long enough that they have time to make changes (though no more than 24 hours). However, anyone who tries will find that it is futile. No matter what you do or how hard you try, the outcome is always exactly the same somehow. No changes you make will prevent that horrible outcome. It just happens over and over and over again no matter what you do.

On top of that, perhaps complicating any attempts to make changes, everyone will be forced to be honest for the duration of the event. No lies or half-truths are allowed, and filters will be gone for the entire five days. If something bothers someone then they will blurt it out, regardless of whether or not it hurts someone's feelings, and no one will be able to simply keep quiet when they have something to say. They must be truthful and honest with every word they say.

This is a catch-all log for all of your Worst Memory needs! Please mark your threads clearly in the subject line with your character's name and Room Number + Floor for character rooms, or just location if you're making a top level for a public place in the mansion (like the tea rooms or the kitchen) so people can see if there's already a thread available. And here's the plot post if you need it!

Have fun!

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Yeah, I mean... I'm not sure Wonderland doesn't have something to do with the oversharing part of this. But you know what? Screw it. If it took all this for us to finally talk, I'll take it as this stupid place doing us a favor for once.

[ Otherwise, they might have continued to dance around it. Worse, Chloe might have found another way to convince herself as to why it was such a terrible idea. Lucifer is a flight risk, although she understands the reasons why here more than she ever would have at home.

But he's also opened up to her, and shown more of himself than he ever has before. She's thankful for that, to be able to finally get to know him a way he never allowed before.

Of course, his response makes sense to her. It makes absolute sense that what happened with his father would be his worst memory. ]

Oh, G- [ She manages to cut herself off, pressing her lips together. Probably not the best expression to throw around considering the situation. ] It's okay to talk about it, you know. [ Her voice is soft as she leans her head on his shoulder, trying to comfort him as she wraps her arms around his waist. ] You know I'm here for you.

[ That, and she's curious to know more. ]

It's about time Wonderland did something pleasant to us for a change.

[It was never a problem having to do with Lucifer telling the truth. He just didn't know how to broach the subject, how to say what needed to be said, how to not take advantage of a situation or hurt her further.

Dancing around emotional things was his specialty.

He knows what she was about to say, but he's thankful she thought to stop herself. That little expression seemed to come up more than he liked.]

Yes, I know. [It's a matter of where to start, or whether he should start down that road at all. He looks down at her as her arms encircle him, and he leans his cheek against the top of her head as Wonderland decides that he's going to speak about it whether he truly wants to or not.

At least it's just her. He might mind if it were most others.] My Father had decided to spend all of His time focused on Humanity, His shiny new creation, at the cost of neglecting his family. I was...younger, so to speak, and I began to misbehave as a result. There was fighting when I rebelled against Him, and I doubt I ever really stood a chance. My punishment when I lost was responsibility for Hell, where He sent His precious human souls to suffer eternal torment for their guilt. And my Mother stood there and watched as He did it, didn't even try to stop Him.

Silly me for thinking She might care enough to stand up to Father.

[ Chloe listens quietly, her mouth pursed together as he speaks. She even knows some of it first hand, as a parent. She thinks briefly about how Trixie acted out when Dan wasn't around, wrapped up in his work (and ahis shame for what he had done at Palmetto). How exhausted Chloe found herself struggling as essentially a single parent in that time, her own bitterness cultivated by his absence. In a way, she has seen Lucifer's pain in Trixie. What she can't grasp, though, is the idea of his mother turning her back so easily on him, and how she would never be able to betray her own flesh and blood in that way.

She knows most of the story, of course; but the hurt behind it is something Lucifer has gone to great lengths to hide. The anger was always clear, in the way he talked about his parents.

Both his parents, as it happened. ]

Uh... [ She wants to address this, to focus on what he is going through, but Wonderland is putting a pause on that for now. Chloe's more specific memories of the time around the warehouse has been coming back more clearly, for as long ago as it was, along with other things Lucifer had mentioned.

It's something she possibly would have hidden, for his sake. If she had been able. ] Lucifer, I just remembered something you said a few days after all of that happened at the warehouse. [ She raises her head to look up at him, keeping her arms wrapped around him, keeping him close. ] I know you said your mom was in Hell so... This doesn't really make any sense. But after what happened, with you getting shot, after that you became totally fixated on her. You... you kept saying a case we were working on had something to do with her, that she was... Sending you a message.

[ It can't be a coincidence. He dies, goes back to Hell, and comes back talking about his mother. There is no way it's a coincidence. ]

[Lucifer tenses further at her words, his head lifting to look back down at her again. His expression is both confused and...afraid?

His Mother sending him a message couldn't possibly be good. Not to mention, it should be impossible.]

She's not just in Hell. She's been locked up there for centuries. Maze tortured her personally, had ever since Dad sentenced her to imprisonment. There's no way She could have possibly escaped.

[Except he's not in Hell anymore, so he wouldn't really know, would he?]

If She's really escaped, then surely Her first act would be to come after me, to kill me. After all, I did exactly what She did for me when I was kicked out. Nothing.

[ She feels her stomach drop when she looks at him. By now, she's seen plenty of emotions come and go with him; amusement, shock, anger, pain. Chloe isn't sure she's ever seen him afraid before, so much so that she doubts what she is seeing, not sure what it looks like.

Feeling him tense in her arms solidifies that, though, and she splays her palms over his back, running her hands up and down in an attempt to sooth him. ]

We don't know if that's the case. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe you were talking about something else. You never explained it to me so I don't know. [ She regrets telling him now, although she's not sure it would have been right to hide it, either. She hid so much from him since she arrived and with how far they have come, she knows she can't do that anymore. ] Either way, Lucifer, I don't believe that. I know why you think She would be angry but... She's your mother. That has to count for something.

[ Chloe knows it might not. She's seen parents who have turned on their children before, in the most unimaginable ways. As a mother, though, she can't bring herself to believe it.

Chloe pulls away, reaching up to cup his cheek tenderly. ]

And if She does try to hurt you, I'd do everything in my power to protect you. Even if I don't know what's going on. Even if it means going up against a Goddess.

[ And she had already, unknowingly. She had thrown away her chance at jailing her father's killer to protect Lucifer from the kind of manipulation his mother rained down on him during Her time on Earth, even if she didn't know it at the time.

Chloe wouldn't be just another person in his life who would betray him. ]

The big man upstairs being Dear Ol' Dad never counted for anything. Why should this?

[He's long ago accepted the fact that neither of his parents ever really loved him in any way that mattered. Mom had been lovely in the beginning, but that hadn't lasted, and even if he'd been the favorite at one point in time, or so he'd been led to believe, it hadn't mattered in the end, either.

He twists his neck slightly, as if the collar of his shirt is suddenly too tight. The idea that they could fight his Mother seems preposterous. Although...]

I may not even realize She's coming right away. She's a celestial being, so She'd have to find some human body to take over if She were going to walk the Earth. [He sighs, agitated but somewhat placated by Chloe's gentle touch.] I suppose it doesn't matter much while we're here, however.

[It's the first time he hasn't wanted to go home, if all this is what's awaiting him there, awaiting both of them.]

Yeah, I guess it doesn't. There's nothing we can do about it here, anyway.

[ It would be a problem for home, made worse by the fact that neither of them would remember this. Her only consolation is that if Lucifer's mother was on Earth by the time he mentioned her, months have passed and Lucifer hasn't been harmed. Maybe that means She hasn't found him yet, or maybe it means She means him no harm. ]

I wonder if She has something to do with you leaving. [ Another thought she would prefer to keep to herself. ] Listen, Lucifer... [ Chloe sighs, adjusting herself so she can settle more closely against him. ] Has it occurred to you that maybe... If you dad hates you so much, and He sent you to Hell... Have you thought that maybe if that's where He really wanted you to be, you wouldn't be able to stay on Earth? I mean, He's God... I feel like if He didn't want you to be there, you wouldn't be, you know?

[He looks at her with surprise because of course he wouldn't have thought of that originally.]

You may be onto something there.

[If his Mother were coming, he might put some distance between himself and Chloe, both to protect her and to protect himself. His Mom might still be able to do whatever damage She wished, but at least he'd been a little sturdier.

And the Detective wouldn't get caught in the crossfire.]

You say that as if He hasn't already sent my brother after me to try and convince me to go back at every turn. It's his fault my wings were stolen, by the way. You should have seen his face when I set them on fire. It was beautiful.

[ Chloe just gives a shrug in response, but her mind is reeling with the same thing. She thought it had been about him not being able to deal with his feelings for her, not wanting to be weighed down. Thinking he had left to protect her? That changed things. It didn't make it hurt less, but it did change things.

And left her wishing he had just told her the truth. ]

Maybe, but I feel like there would be a more direct way to go about it like... striking you dead with lightning or something. He'd just have to wait until I'm nearby. [ She frowns deeply. ] I hope you didn't destroy them just to get back at Amenadiel. I'm sure he's only doing what he thinks is right. You probably shouldn't be on Earth, considering.

[He'd been telling her the truth for ages. It isn't as if she would have believed this, either.

Besides, he knows perfectly well what she would say. She'd already said it just now, and Chloe was no match for a Goddess.]

Well, if He wanted to kill me He wouldn't need lightning or you to do it. He wants me to play into His plan, to do His bidding, no doubt. [He scoffs.] Of course not. My brother had been right about one thing; I'd kept them as an out, in case Earth wasn't what I wanted it to be. I burned them because I hate everything they represent. Amenadiel isn't doing what he believes is right. He's just following Dad's orders like every other pathetic member of my family. [He pauses then, brows furrowing as he looks at her.] ...Considering what, Detective?

Or maybe He wants you to figure out who you really are as much as you do.

[ She knows she's stepped in it, saying what she did. It was the kind of thing that was just a fleeting thought, something she has mulled over when she thinks of them together and at the same time, something she knows there is no point in addressing because there's not real answer. ]

I meant just, in terms of you being the Devil. Running Hell. I mean, who's running it while you're gone? What's happening to the kind of people we put away for murder? What happens... [ She sighs, knowing this was going to come up at some point, figuring now is as good a time as any. ] What happens if I end up there?

All anyone has ever been to Him is a pawn. Nothing is going to change that.

[The tension in his shoulders hasn't faded; this is delving into topics that he'd rather not think about, let alone discuss. But, apparently, Wonderland has other ideas.]

The majority of them torture themselves with their own guilt and needed very little help from me. I imagine there are plenty of demons eager to deal with those who need a bit extra prodding. [The ones who were terrible and don't have the guilt they deserve.] But you don't belong there, Detective. Not even remotely.

As for who's running it, that's not my problem anymore.

[ Chloe huffs a breath, but she doesn't argue. There's not much point in arguing with Lucifer when he gets like this, especially when it comes to his father. He felt the way he did, and no amount of prodding or poking from Chloe is going to change that, no matter how much faith she tries to have in what's in store for him. ]

I guess we'll see. You don't exactly make your father out to sound like the understanding type. [ She tilts her head, offering a him a comforting smile, as if he is the one that needs it. ] Besides, no matter where I end up, it sounds like you won't be there, anyway. [ Even if things don't work out at home, even if they are never together... For the first time, knowing there is an afterlife, it bothers her. All the stories of being surrounded by friends and family, knowing she might get to see her father again, it helps. But knowing she won't have her friend anymore is hard to accept. ]

I'm sorry, I know this isn't the easiest thing for you to talk about.

[This is one of those things that would take a great deal of time and proof to change his mind, not to mention a miracle (har har).]

The least understanding, with a capital L.

[The bitterness is obvious in his tone, but he moves on from that part of the topic, especially considering what she says next.

He looks contemplative, perhaps even a little unnerved at that. These are things he hadn't ever thought about because it had never occurred to him that he would go down this path with anyone.]

No. [His voice is quiet. Distant.] It certainly isn't.

[He exhales, internally trying to shake off the sudden dread seeping through his insides at the thought of her ceasing to be, forever out of his reach.]

So long as we're here, you're technically immortal yourself, so that's a problem for another day, yes?

[ The look on his face doesn't help her feel any better about it. It's something that likely would have never occurred to her, either, outside of this situation and the realization of this - this person who she, right now, can envision having him her life forever.

So much for taking it slow. Even if they put off sex for the rest of their time here, it doesn't change the fact that they are a part of each other. Chloe loves him and there isn't a part of her that believes, in this moment, that she ever wants to be with anyone else ever again. ]

I know it doesn't matter here. But it's still hard for me to separate what happens here from at home. It's hard to think about not being with you. [ Whether in this life or the next. ] I get this is new for you. I know I'm probably coming on way to strong, so, thanks for that, Wonderland. [ She brushes her head against his shoulder again, trying to push out another smile. ] But I want you to talk to me. Even about the hard stuff. I know you so much better than I ever have before and you opening up to me like this... It's something I never thought would happen.

[The very thought of all this leaves him stricken. He doesn't know how he feels about any of it, only that he can't believe that Chloe would ever end up in Hell under any circumstances, and on the off chance she did, he'd spend his existence finding a way to get her out of there.

That said, the reality of the situation is that, someday, the Detective would end up in Heaven, a place he couldn't go.

A place he'd want to go, if only because she were there. In that thought, he realizes something very important.]

I thought that by creating Lux here, that it would feel like home. And perhaps it did, in small ways, but I think that's all changed.

[Wonderland begins to work its magic, words slipping out before they've even fully formed, though they ring true as they reach his ears.]

I never quite belonged anywhere. Not Heaven, not Hell, but Los Angeles felt like something closer to what I was looking for, but coming here and having you follow me has made me realize something. [He slips his forefinger under her chin, thumb stroking a gentle touch along her jaw.] I only belong wherever you are.

[But what does that mean, if she goes to Heaven, and he's forever banished. Will he simply never belong anywhere again?]

[ Her heart surges in her chest, her blood running warm through her whole body, and for a split second she wonders if, somehow, his charms are suddenly working on her.

Chloe knows that isn't the case, though. Everything she feels for him is absolutely real, completely caused by who he is and not merely what he can do.

She knows she'll always worry. It will always gnaw at her, that fear that one day they will be separated. Maybe he'll be sent home without her, the same way Seth lost Kate and Richie. Maybe they'll go home together and forget about this and maybe death will separate them forever. There are so many maybes, but there are truths to this, too, and they are enough to overshadow any of that fear.

They need to enjoy what they have while they have it. ]

I think... Somehow, we'll always find our way back to each other. [ The words come easily, with the knowledge that it's probably true at home. He'll come back. Chloe believes that now more than ever. If she has to fight his father tooth and nail on his behalf, it's a challenge she's willing to take on. What good was love if she didn't?

Chloe wraps her arms around him again, pulling herself closer, pressing her lips to his and letting that kiss communicate everything she is feeling inside of her for him. ]

[He understands, honestly. He's never particularly worried about anything until he met her. While he may not worry about precisely the same things as her, the fact that he worries at all says a lot.

Lucifer isn't sure he wants to believe that, though, because he doesn't like things like fate. They simply feel like something that would fall under the umbrella of his Father's plan, and he likes to distance himself from anything involving the big G as much as possible.

But if he thinks of it as simply a desire, that they will find each other because they want to and nothing more, then he can gladly believe in that.

He doesn't get to say any of this, fortunately, as words are silenced by the press of her mouth. His fingers are threading through her hair a moment later, palm cupping the back of her head to hold her close, as if she isn't already holding onto him to do the same. He exhales the sound of a blissful sigh, the room around them disappearing into nothingness.

There is only her. There is only this. At least for a little while.]

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It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

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