It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

[vitaelamorte]

Who: EVERYONE!
Where: EVERYWHERE!
When: Friday October 27th - Tuesday October 31st
Rating: PG-13, warn if you're gonna go higher!
Summary: A catch all for the Horrible Memory Truth Event!
The Story:

For the duration of this event, everyone's entire room will be replaced with a memory playing on loop. They will likely recognize the moment as soon as they see it – it is a moment they remember as the worst moment of their entire lives. It could be a memory from home or something that happened in Wonderland. Lengths of the memories will vary, but they will find that these are not memories they can merely watch – they can step into these memories and attempt to make changes to them, and the memories will be long enough that they have time to make changes (though no more than 24 hours). However, anyone who tries will find that it is futile. No matter what you do or how hard you try, the outcome is always exactly the same somehow. No changes you make will prevent that horrible outcome. It just happens over and over and over again no matter what you do.

On top of that, perhaps complicating any attempts to make changes, everyone will be forced to be honest for the duration of the event. No lies or half-truths are allowed, and filters will be gone for the entire five days. If something bothers someone then they will blurt it out, regardless of whether or not it hurts someone's feelings, and no one will be able to simply keep quiet when they have something to say. They must be truthful and honest with every word they say.

This is a catch-all log for all of your Worst Memory needs! Please mark your threads clearly in the subject line with your character's name and Room Number + Floor for character rooms, or just location if you're making a top level for a public place in the mansion (like the tea rooms or the kitchen) so people can see if there's already a thread available. And here's the plot post if you need it!

Have fun!

Comments

[mettatonvevo]

Well, when it comes to bad memories, this is certainly one of my worst.

[And he hates to admit it.]

Yes. This was part of his plan. Incapacitate me, besmirch my reputation, and then when no one wanted anything more to do with me, return and keep me around like his little toy. He'd have me all to himself.

[He shudders, in both fear and anger at the thought. This is just... this is just ruining everything.]

No point in resisting? Sans, darling, you can't say you know me and think that I wouldn't resist telling the truth to my last dying breath.

[He is made of lies and subterfuge, it's who he is as a person.

When Sans mentions being afraid of Mirrorton, Mettaton frowns.]

I don't want you to be scared of him. He shouldn't be scary. He's me, Sans, my other half, and I want him to be good. It means so much to me. If he can be good, so can I.

[He gives his own sigh, stepping towards Sans.]

I don't want to leave. But you're right. And if I am leaving with you, at least I am leaving in good company.

[It's a lighter truth than how he actually feels, but it's still the truth, and it slides. Mettaton is pretty grateful for that.]

[punful]

i'm sorry.

[That it happened, that Mettaton has to relive it, that he has to tell the truth about it, that he just walked in here and saw it without Mettaton's permission...all of it.]

[He can't help a bit of a shudder, though, when Mettaton outlines what Mirrorton's plan was.]

that's awful. that he would--i'm sorry, i just--i know you care a lot about him. i don't understand it, but i understand that you do care about him. but i just--don't like him.

[He's trying so hard not to get into this, because they've had this argument so many times now, and it never gets anywhere. It doesn't help.]

heh. well uh, i'd say the same about me, but it seems like giving up is even more my thing than keeping secrets, so.

[Wow, he meant to actually say something humorous there. Honesty is antithetical to humor.]

[His eyelights flick back to Mettaton's face. God damn it, no, he doesn't want to get into this, he doesn't--]

you are good, metta, but he's--he's--just not. i'm sorry, i don't want to--i don't want to upset you, i'm--dammit. i don't think he's good, and i don't know if he can be, and i think--dammit--i think he wants you to be more like him more than you want him to be more like you. and i don't think him being a bad person is--is a commentary on you, because if it is then--ugh, then mirror papyrus is a commentary on all papyrus-es, and i can't--do that. i can't just--accept that the very worst versions of ourselves are some kind of--of commentary on the rest of us.

and i want to shut up, but i have to clarify that i'm not scared of him just because of, god damn it i hate this, just because of how easily he could hurt me or kill me. i'm also scared of him because he--he might really win and--convince you that you're just like him, and then we'll--i'll--lose you.

[He's glaring at the floor at this point, because fuck, he might not be resisting much at all but he utterly, utterly hates this. It's just as bad as last time. It's all compulsion and the sense that he is completely powerless. Like he needed another fucking reminder.]

[Mettaton steps toward him, though, and just--just that small act, and the fact that Mettaton wants to leave, and that if he leaves with Sans then it's okay--it's absurd how much that calms him down.]

[Sans reaches out a hand toward Mettaton, palm up.]

i feel like such a silly idiot when you say things like that. god, that's not what i meant to say. let's--go, and--let's stop talking about him. okay?

[mettatonvevo]

To be completely fair, it's not as if he's gone out of his way to be nice to you. Or anyone I know, really. But he has his reasons for that. He's more strict about our celebrity status than I am. And that's where I fail, unfortunately.

[Fail, again and again and again. You're too soft Mettaton, you've become too kind Mettaton, how can you be the charming elevated celebrity above everyone if you keep stooping to their level?]

Hm. I don't know. To me it feels like you've got a stubborn way of holding on. After all, I've pushed and shoved you aside more times than I can count while here, but you still stick by me. It's both gratifying and pitiful. Don't you have more respect for yourself than to let yourself get yanked around by me while I waffle in where I stand with you?

[He stops, eyes wide. Ugh. This truth telling is awful but he can still amend some things, it seems.]

I didn't mean for that to come off so harsh. This is why this whole truth telling is so redundant- I could have said all that to you during regular Wonderland without coming off like a prick.

[Mettaton goes quiet as the truth is wrenched out of Sans and he sighs when he is done. No anger this time around, just a quiet shake of his head as Sans just doesn't get it.]

It might not be the same scenario with other mirrors. But he's me, Sans. Everything awful about him is me, too. He's manipulative and cruel and cutting and selfish and that is who I am as well. I can't deny who I am. I can't deny him.

[Is it already too late then, Sans? It certainly sounds like it.]

I've tried changing. It feels like I have changed. But can you truly grow and transform from such fundamental parts of yourself like this? He and I have discussed that so many times and he thinks you can't. And I believe him most nights.

[Stop. Talking. Mettaton. It's too easy to speak to Sans on a good day when you can dress your words up so they don't hit as hard. He shakes his head.

Losing him? Losing him. He's worried about losing him. Mettaton lets out another sigh.]

You really don't want to let me go, hm? ...The feeling is mutual. That's what makes all of this so difficult.

[He looks to the hand offered to him and there's only the slightest hesitation as he takes it. He continues to look at where their hands are connected and smiles ruefully.]

For once, I don't want to talk more about him. This memory and thinking of him is leaving a foul taste in my mouth.

[He looks to Sans, that smile turning just a small bit mischievous.]

You can't handle how I make you feel, hm? You can't deny that my words leave big impressions.

[punful]

that's the part i think is so stupid. i'm sorry. i hate how blunt this is making me. just, i don't think being a celebrity means you--stop being a person. i think you're allowed to have friends and lovers and interests and whatever you want, and i can't believe i just said the word "lovers."

[Wow he hates this.]

[Pitiful, huh? That stings a little, but it's the truth.]

no, it's okay. i don't have any self-respect. or self-worth. i'm--constantly wondering why you even bother with me.

[He pauses, but not for very long, because Wonderland is going to force it out of him one way or another.]

with you, though, with...us...i guess, it's less...it's less about that. i mean--yeah. it's been mixed signals with you since the beginning. uh, it doesn't help that--that uh, the rare times i actually notice flirting, i don't know what--to, uh--do about it? but i...i just like being around you, metta.

[God, his face feels warm already.]

you're my friend. and i'm just...really content with the idea of being your friend. and the idea of s-something--beyond that, is--exciting? i'm--i'm just not good at...wanting things. all i want is you in my life in some capacity.

[He really is content with that and that alone. The fact that he keeps finding himself thinking about other things, and the fact that Mettaton is also into the idea of those other things is like some kind of bonus. It also complicates things to no end.]

you're manipulative and cruel sometimes. he's all those things all the time. it's not about...denying what you are. it's about--i dunno. rising above it. being better than the worst parts of you.

and yes. i think you can change. i think you already have.

[Finally, thank fuck, Mettaton takes his hand. Sans leads him out into the hallway, then closes the door behind them both. It gives him a bit of time to not look at Mettaton, a chance to compose himself at least a little.]

[Of course then Mettaton turns the dial up to eleven, and all that composure just disappears. Thankfully Sans's back is still to him, but it really doesn't help all that much.]

fuck. d-don't--no, i, i can't handle it, because i don't know how to--to process the idea that someone--wants--me. you make me feel--wanted, and i never know--what to do with that feeling. i just--like it. a lot. i...fuck, i have such a crush on you, god. damn. it. i mean, fuck, you know that already, but saying it out loud...

[He'd very much like to crawl into a hole now thanks.]

[mettatonvevo]

That makes you the minority, then. Celebrities and the cultures around celebrities is to consume and be consumed. Else why would we be elevated in the public consciousness?

[It's not the best thing in the world, and in many ways it is helpful! But he, personally, does not see any way for a celebrity to exist without that feeling of ownership from society at large.

Mettaton listens quietly as Sans continues, as Wonderland forces him to open up and say things as he thinks they are, for once. This seems to be a blessing and a curse.]

I wish I could give you more. I wish I could give myself more. But I am so uncertain of where I stand and what I should be putting my energy into that we end up going back and forth. I don't want to be tied down, Sans, not in any capacity. And sometimes even friendships feel like chains.

[Manipulative and cruel sometimes. Right.]

I don't believe you on that, but thank you for the sentiment. I think I have gotten better at hiding it than any real progress.

[As Sans leads him out, the both can distantly hear the sounds of another Mettaton, his past self, get up to start his day. It won't take long until his mirror appears again and quietly Mettaton looks back. Is that what he looks like, writing on the glass every day?

He seems so lonely.

He looks to the hallway again rather quickly after Sans closes the door, though that mischievous grin turns positively wicked as he sets Sans up for ruin.]

Mmm, you're right, I already knew that, soul sharing notwithstanding, but hearing you say it is just an extra bit of dessert at the table.

[Sans's back is to him and that just won't do, so he steps out further into the hallway and tugs his arm from where they are holding hands to turn and face him and draw him closer.]

My feelings flip flop but I can't deny that I hold a strong current of affection for you as well. And our little escapade awhile back really makes me curious how you look when-

[He stops. Wonderland, generally, wouldn't let him stop his sentence there, but it is not a desire to obstruct the truth that stalls his words but merely the sight of a mirror across the hall from them and the contents it now holds. His eyes narrow.]

So you are here.

[No hiding it. No denying who he is talking to. Drawn on the mirror, plain as day, is a pink star. And Mettaton glares at it, hard.]

I don't want to talk. I'm angry at you. And before you write any nonsense, you know what you did.

[Despite his preemptive warning, the star is erased and letters begin to appear- and Mettaton scoffs, letting go of Sans's hand.]

No! I just said "no nonsense", and you're going to start writing about how you don't know what happened. Maybe you don't actually know in this situation, but I don't have to tell you anything. At least not now.

[More writing continues, something to the liking of Mettaton, you're being silly- and the robot stomps away from Sans towards the mirror until he is standing a few feet in front of it.]

Shut up! I'm not talking to you until I'm done being mad, and we both know that's going to be awhile! Maybe! I will miss you rather quickly.

[He grumbles at that. Thanks, Wonderland, for your truth bullshit. As the mirror begins to write more, Mettaton reaches down and takes off one of his boots, leaning sideways and bracing a hand against the wall so he doesn't fall over.]

No no no- fuck you, we will talk later!

[Then, with a swift and decisive throw, he flings his boot at the mirror, the high heel striking the glass and fracturing it. The mirror shakes on the wall, almost falling but instead tilting sideways, pieces of glass falling with a faint tinkle to the ground. Mettaton looks at it and after a moment nods.]

Think on that until we talk again.

[He begins to put his boot back on again as he calls over his shoulder to Sans.]

Sorry about that, darling, seeing him just got me hopping mad.

-1 to ZEZPQB BT FRESMNF IZDVZ BEFVQN GC NBVBW

[punful]

why can't you be a celebrity and still be a person? i mean, i'm not an expert on celebrity, but...it just doesn't make sense to me.

[Maybe that's the problem. But he can't just see Mettaton as some kind of distant ideal. He knows the guy too well at this point.]

[He stuffs his hands in his pockets and ducks his head. This is all so goddamn embarrassing. And he didn't think he had enough dignity left to even feel embarrassed anymore. Or shy. Why does he have to be so shy about this stuff? It's stupid.]

i'm not asking for anything more. just for you to--be around. be there. i don't want to tie you down. i get it, metta. and...heh, i know i wouldn't...even be a blip on your radar back in the real world. i don't think we'd ever get to this point. just--i'm sorry, i don't mean that as guilt tripping. i'm...

[He makes himself look up at Mettaton, but damn is it hard to meet his gaze.]

i'm not...good at letting people know where they stand with me, because it just...it just doesn't occur to me. so i just--i want you to know that, uh. no matter what ends up happening, i'm--still your friend first. yeah?

[Even if that's still tying him down in some capacity. Even if that cages him. Sans is just selfish like that. But some kind of celebrity life without real friends just seems--horrible.]

[He can't help glancing back as the door closes. That's what Mirrorton certainly wants for him. That kind of loneliness.]

[He sees Mettaton grin out of the corner of his eyesocket and braces himself for the flirting.]

ugh, puts a new spin on people calling me a marshmallow...

[He's not sure why people most pet names boil down to a certain...edibility. Why would you refer to someone you love as something you'd want to eat? It's weird.]

[Mettaton turns him around gently and pulls him closer, and Sans can't help but stare up at him, eyesockets a bit wide. Holy shit. Holy shit, Mettaton isn't thinking about...he couldn't be, right? Now isn't even remotely a good time, right?]

[He feels way too warm. Little escapade. Oh god, here we go. Sans gives a little shiver. This is completely unfair. Sans can't keep up when Mettaton starts in on the flirting. He just--has this whole lexicon he can use, and Sans absolutely does not know the language. He just knows what it does to him.]

[Mettaton trails off and Sans blinks, forgetting where he is and what's happening for a moment.]

when...what?

[Mettaton is looking past him now, narrowing his eyes. He looks angry.]

[Oh. Oh god.]

[Sans turns and looks behind him as Mettaton lets go and walks to the Mirror. God, he forgot. How could he forget? There's mirrors all up and down the hallway. Mirrorton saw them. He knows now.]

[Some little voice in the back of Sans's mind says, good.]

[He expects Mettaton to break it off, start apologizing to his Mirror, but he--doesn't. He yells at the mirror instead. Sans blinks in obvious surprise. Mettaton's angry. Of course he is. He just had to witness his worst memory--he just had to see for the first time in a year just what kind of person Mirrorton really is. He's angry, he's letting himself be angry, he's letting himself be angry at his Mirror.]

[Sans can't help grinning. It's not out of spite or triumph. He's just--fucking proud. Mettaton's figuring it out, he's standing up for himself. He's not letting Mirrorton walk all over him anymore. It's incredible. It's wonderful. It's a huge step forward.]

[Mettaton then chucks his boot at the mirror and the whole thing smashes to pieces. Sans takes an automatic step backward just to avoid potential shrapnel. The mirror is destroyed, and Mirrorton is gone.]

holy shit.

[His voice sounds a bit shakier than he expected.]

that was amazing. you stood up to him. damn, metta. i'm proud of you. that was hot as hell.

[He realizes what he just said a full second after he says it and claps both hands over his mouth, way too late. He stares into the middle distance in horror for a moment, then pulls his hands away.]

can, uh. we go somewhere else now? sick of mirrors.

[mettatonvevo]

Because that's not how people look at you, Sans. Once you're an idol, people take what you give them and project their own thoughts and desires onto you. It can be as benign as "oh, from this one interview I read of them in a magazine, they're a kind and caring person!" to "I know every facet of their life including their birthday, blood type, and all their extended family members and this means I know them." People react in interesting and fascinating ways to celebrities, but we are no longer just people but an idea. An ideal. It's how we inspire people.

[It's something he thinks about a lot. It's something that, after realizing how much the Underground loved him and what that meant, that made his heart change that much more. It was the first step in a long process of growth he is still embarking on.]

You're right, Sans. You wouldn't stick out to me at all. I wouldn't have had the time to slow down and get to know you. Part of me is grateful to Wonderland for that chance, even as I am extremely bitter about being trapped here and putting extensive work into trying to escape.

[Luckily Wonderland doesn't force him to elaborate much on those plans, though Mettaton knows he's only a hair's trigger away from being forced to reveal more of his hand than he is willing to.]

...Thank you. That means more to me than I think you truly know. No matter what, I want you to be my friend too, even as I think that I will have to let you go one day.

[Of course, he doesn't really respond to anything else Sans says because he's too busy having a pissing contest with his mirror, though if he did respond to Sans's question about "when what?" he'd be quite mischevious about it. Perhaps even looking a little like this:



When all is said and done however, he slips his boot back on. And he absolutely catches what Sans says. The turn he gives on his heel and the walk he gives as he goes back to his friend is best described as a sexy saunter eith swaying hips and exciting intent in his eyes.]

Mmm, see, I love hearing that. I knew you'd come around to finding me hot one day. It's just inevitable with a body like this and a mind like mine.

[Look at that smug face, that asshole! But he lets Sans pull himself together, for once, and nods.]

That sounds like a plan. I know my mirror will be following me closely, so I will probably have to break more of them as we go along.

[punful]

[He sighs and shakes his head.]

i think we can...agree to disagree.

[He can't get his head around it, and maybe that means Mettaton really is right. He's just tired of the argument.]

yeah, i'm. honestly glad i got to know you. and the more i think about it, the more i think i'd...i like--i like it here better than--home. i don't think i want to go home.

[He frowns just slightly, surprised.] i didn't know you were actively trying to leave, though.

[Interesting. He's curious about whether Mettaton has made any headway there, but--well, something to ask later, maybe.]

[In any case, Sans abruptly starts wondering it about it at all, because holy shit, the way Mettaton is looking at him right now. It sends a very pleasant shiver down his spine.]

i--heh--i mean, before i met you, i had no conception of...what..."hot" even was...

[God he's going to utterly humiliate himself if this event goes on much longer.]

sure. hell, i'll even help.

[Breaking mirrors? Making sure Mirrorton can't watch them? Maybe rubbing all this in that asshole's face while they're at it? Nice.]

[It's tempting fate, considering how much Mirrorton already wants to kill him, but...screw it. Risks. He's taking risks these days, and it's been nice. The last of the panic he'd been feeling earlier has gone, and he's feeling pretty...pretty okay, actually.]

[mettatonvevo]

That's probably for the best. I'm quite stubborn about this subject.

[Good luck in ever getting Mettaton to change his mind about this.

Mettaton gives him a look that is a mixture of understanding and just a little bit of pity.]

Even after everything we have learned about this awful place, you still want to stay? Wonderland would have to step up its game beyond the accommodations it currently has to get me to not want to leave.

[The risk of dying so often is absolutely a mood killer.

Sans stutters and Mettaton grins again. The terrible thing about truth events is, well, they make you tell the truth and thus Mettaton speaks with no filter.]

That bodes a very fun and interesting future where I can continue to help you suss out what you find hot. Preferably with hands-on exercises.

[He wiggles his hips a little just to underline what he said but makes no other moves. He's being good and not getting into Sans's space again. This event is doing nothing but making these things worst and Sans should feel lucky that Mettaton isn't trying to take advantage of it in anyway.]

Good then, because he's pretty fast when he wants to be and I bet you anything he's already moved onto the next mirror. That was a partial lie- I would win that bet instantly because I calculated how quickly it takes him to move from mirror to mirror in the hallways rather quickly so I could continue conversations with him or at least monitor where he is located and how long until I would get a response from him if I had to move.

[Mettaton's eyes narrow.]

Did I mention I hate truth events? Because if I didn't, I am saying it again. I hate truth events.

[punful]

[He nods. The subject is dropped.]

[He shrugs at the question as they start moving.]

i have a future here. sorta. more than i have at home.

[It's sad, really. It's downright pathetic, maybe even selfish. A future means that he can change, that he can really finally get better. But this is Wonderland. He could also die at any time, or his friends could die, or his brother could die, over and over. Just like back home. Every single one of them could go back to the Underground and he could be left alone in a world with no real end in sight. Just like back home.]

[It's a lesser of two evils situation, he thinks.]

[Fortunately he doesn't have to think about it much harder, because then Mettaton goes right back into the flirting. Sans wonders if he's ever going to get used to this. Every time he tries to step up his game, Mettaton shows him that he's not even a player.]

jeez. stop that. i-i can't even defend myself with jokes and sarcasm right now. ugh.

[Hands-on experience. God damn this robot.]

[He glances over with a raised brow ridge when Mettaton talks about how well he knows how his Mirror moves.]

uh...

[No, don't say anything. Don't comment. Let it lie.]

yeah, truth events. my least favorite.

[mettatonvevo]

[Mettaton is quiet for a moment, mulling over Sans's words. When he speaks, his tone is quieter than usual, almost hesitant in the vulnerability it shows.]

I think you still have a future back home as well. If you can advance so well here, I think with enough love and support from your friends, you can get there again. I just wish I could say I'd be one of those people.

[He winces as he says that last line, Wonderland gently pulling his feelings out into the open. The flirting, at least, seems to put him back onto his feet and he tries to shake off the depth of emotion with a quick laugh.]

I don't think I want you to defend yourself. It's cute how embarrassed you get. It encourages me more. If it ever truly is too much for you though, please let me know. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

[He's worked too hard to try and be understanding of other people and their boundaries to ruin things now because he's swept up in the moment.

Quietly he's grateful for Sans saying nothing.]

It just feels so rude. Like an invasion of privacy by Wonderland and forcing all of us to invade everyone else's privacy on top of it.

[punful]

[He gives a simple shake of his head.]

no. i don't believe the resets will ever end. if they do, maybe. but i don't believe they will. even if they did, i'd spend years and...years waiting for it to reset again. i don't know how i'd...uh...adjust. or if i would. i don't...think i would. but it doesn't matter, because i don't believe it'll ever stop.

[He did for a brief period, but not anymore. There's no point in even hoping. That's how you end up Falling Down.]

[It's too heavy to even think about, and he's immediately grateful for the flirting again, because if nothing else, it's a distraction. He grins faintly.]

nah, i...i like it. it makes me feel--wanted.

[It's mostly that the feeling itself is weird. He doesn't know what to do with it, how he's supposed to react.]

exactly. i tried so hard last time to...avoid talking to anyone, but it just. kept happening.