entrancelogs | It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you!

Who: EVERYONE!
Where: EVERYWHERE!
When: Friday October 27th - Tuesday October 31st
Rating: PG-13, warn if you're gonna go higher!
Summary: A catch all for the Horrible Memory Truth Event!
The Story:

For the duration of this event, everyone's entire room will be replaced with a memory playing on loop. They will likely recognize the moment as soon as they see it – it is a moment they remember as the worst moment of their entire lives. It could be a memory from home or something that happened in Wonderland. Lengths of the memories will vary, but they will find that these are not memories they can merely watch – they can step into these memories and attempt to make changes to them, and the memories will be long enough that they have time to make changes (though no more than 24 hours). However, anyone who tries will find that it is futile. No matter what you do or how hard you try, the outcome is always exactly the same somehow. No changes you make will prevent that horrible outcome. It just happens over and over and over again no matter what you do.

On top of that, perhaps complicating any attempts to make changes, everyone will be forced to be honest for the duration of the event. No lies or half-truths are allowed, and filters will be gone for the entire five days. If something bothers someone then they will blurt it out, regardless of whether or not it hurts someone's feelings, and no one will be able to simply keep quiet when they have something to say. They must be truthful and honest with every word they say.

This is a catch-all log for all of your Worst Memory needs! Please mark your threads clearly in the subject line with your character's name and Room Number + Floor for character rooms, or just location if you're making a top level for a public place in the mansion (like the tea rooms or the kitchen) so people can see if there's already a thread available. And here's the plot post if you need it!

Have fun!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What did it matter what the specifics were anymore? He knew it would be awful. He knew it had upset her so terribly. Why else would she have made him promised not to look? He knew, and he didn't care. His own curiosity was more important. Mikan almost can't hear him over the blood pounding in her ears.

"I would have told you." Her voice is shattered glass. "If you had asked why I hated myself, why I think of myself this way, I would have told you... because you know how much I care about you..." He knew, he knew, she gave him Valentine's day chocolate, he knew, hew knew, hew knew he knew he knew HE DIDN'T CARE HE'S TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF TALKING ABOUT FRISK AND ASGORE AND THIS ISN'T ABOUT ANY OF THEM

"Is that all you care about?!" The tears flow hard, fast, down her face. "Being a star? Satisfying your own needs? All I did was ask you not to open a door! I didn't ask you to kill or to lie or to anything difficult! All I did was make you promise not to open a door! Do you not care about me at all? Did you ever care about me? I know you can't love me, but are you saying you never even liked me?!"

Her voice is so pained and hurt and Mettaton knows he's messed up more than he ever has before. As she talks it dawns on him. Who is he to stand here and try to make excuses? He knows this was for curiosities sake. And he knows how it feels to be on the other side of this equation. After all, didn't Frisk do this to him? Didn't Frisk do this exact same thing by breaking into his house and reading his diaries? Remember that devastation, Mettaton? Remember how awful that was?

He looks to Mikan, sees the tears flowing down her face, and knows he can't walk away from the truth of this. He can't walk away from how much he's hurt her in this moment. But, at the very least, he can tell her the truth.

"It's not all I care about, no. But it is a great part of what I care about. Like I told you, I'm selfish. I'm a selfish person. Coming to Wonderland, I have been trying to change. I have been trying to be better. I've been trying to be more considerate of other people's thoughts and feelings. But... clearly here, I failed."

He can't look away from that truth. But her next questions make him respond immediately.

"No! I like you! I love you like you're my family! You've always believed the best in me and looked out for me and comforted me and done so much despite how much you dislike yourself and that has always been so admirable about you. I care about you so much, Mikan."

Wonderland's magic pushes. He hates that it pushes so much.

"I can't even say that caring about you that much would change how I acted. I've broken promises to my family before. I should be a better person to those I care about, but I'm not. It was a stupid, impulsive act, but I do like you. You have every right to be mad."

He doubts she'll ever forgive him for this. His soul twists at the thought but... well. He deserves this.

More than anything, Mikan wants to run away. He wants to flee and duck her head and hide and cry until there's nothing left. But her legs have no strength, shaking as she stands there, ready to collapse. Everything hurts.

Another day, and hearing that she was his family would have made her year. She would have been dancing on air for ages. It would have been something to comfort her when nightmares wrecked her sleep. But learning this here? This way? Is that supposed to make her feel better? That he's this selfish towards his own family? How can he say he has any bonds like family if he's willing to hurt them for his own satisfaction?

What's wrong with him?

What's wrong with her?

"Augh... Ugh... Eeugh..." For a moment she can't form actual words. The sobs are taking over, retching and ugly, heaving with every breath. It gets to be too much for her body to take and she winds up falling on her knees, sobbing, sobbing, sobbing.

"I am mad," She finally chokes out, hands pressed to her face. Even if wasn't Wonderland's magic pressing her to do so, she would have said this anyway. "I'm mad, and I'm upset, and I'm h-hurt, and I still... I still... I still want you around! Even after what you've done! Why am I like this?!" She begins pulling her hair, demanding an answer from herself. "Why do I need to be around people this badly?! Is being alone really better than feeling like this?! I hate this... I hate feeling this way!"

Mikan is shaking and Mettaton unthinkingly takes a step forward to hug her. But he stops himself, guilt written all over his face, and steps back as she fights to form words.

"Oh Mikan..."

He did this. He put her through this.

"I'm touched that you would want me around at all. But you don't have to have me, even if the idea of not being your friend anymore hurts me."

Damn it, Wonderland, don't make him say it like that!

"If you need space, I will give it. If you don't want to see me, I'll do my best not to be seen. Anything you want, I'll do it. Well, within reason. I don't know how to go about this. I want to make this right but that's... not an easy thing to do."

He knows this first hand, two times being the one to hurt, one time being hurt.

"I'm so sorry, darling."

Is being alone really better than feeling like this? It's a good question. It's one Mettaton asks himself whenever things like this happen.

Looking at her right now though... he can't help but wish that he had spared her this pain somehow.

+1 to ZEZPQB BT FRESMNF IZDVZ BEFVQN GC NBVBW

Sorry just isn't good enough this time. There is no immediate cure, no way he can just snap his fingers and make her smile. He can't make this right, at the very least not now.

Mikan can no longer get any words past her lips. All she can do now is cry, sobbing into her hands, hating herself, hating Wonderland - does she hate Mettaton? It's impossible to tell. She hasn't cried this hard since she saw her first murder on that awful island.

If she can't trust Mettaton, the person she fell in love with, who she's known for so long... then who can she trust?

It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

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I ALMOST DIDN'T SEE THAT OH NO MIRRORTON