entrancelogs | It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you!

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It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

Who: EVERYONE!
Where: EVERYWHERE!
When: Friday October 27th - Tuesday October 31st
Rating: PG-13, warn if you're gonna go higher!
Summary: A catch all for the Horrible Memory Truth Event!
The Story:

For the duration of this event, everyone's entire room will be replaced with a memory playing on loop. They will likely recognize the moment as soon as they see it – it is a moment they remember as the worst moment of their entire lives. It could be a memory from home or something that happened in Wonderland. Lengths of the memories will vary, but they will find that these are not memories they can merely watch – they can step into these memories and attempt to make changes to them, and the memories will be long enough that they have time to make changes (though no more than 24 hours). However, anyone who tries will find that it is futile. No matter what you do or how hard you try, the outcome is always exactly the same somehow. No changes you make will prevent that horrible outcome. It just happens over and over and over again no matter what you do.

On top of that, perhaps complicating any attempts to make changes, everyone will be forced to be honest for the duration of the event. No lies or half-truths are allowed, and filters will be gone for the entire five days. If something bothers someone then they will blurt it out, regardless of whether or not it hurts someone's feelings, and no one will be able to simply keep quiet when they have something to say. They must be truthful and honest with every word they say.

This is a catch-all log for all of your Worst Memory needs! Please mark your threads clearly in the subject line with your character's name and Room Number + Floor for character rooms, or just location if you're making a top level for a public place in the mansion (like the tea rooms or the kitchen) so people can see if there's already a thread available. And here's the plot post if you need it!

Have fun!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Almost everyone." It's true, there were people who didn't, here and there. There were monsters who apologized, monsters who felt sorry for their actions. There were monsters afraid to FIGHT, like Whimsun. Monsters who regretted FIGHTing, like Toriel. Monsters who didn't FIGHT, but just...put them in the position to get hurt easily, like Alphys.

Those who didn't had their reasons. Very few of those reasons were out of any sense that they were Sparing the human for their SOUL.

One kid with a striped shirt and an eager grin, they...

One kid.

"Most of them felt bad about it after, but a lot of them tried."

"My royal dog guards. Undyne, certainly. Television's Mettaton. Probably many of the residents of Hotland... tempers run a bit higher there..."

It is strange to think about the Monsters whom he ruled, mostly from a distance, yet more distant from them all in this strange supernatural prison.

"I'd like to think that most would have felt bad had they gone through with it. I certainly did..."

"A lot of them didn't seem to want to." But they still did, didn't they? Does that remorse mean anything, when it comes too late? They haven't always understood Chara's hatred of sorry, of fervent apology, but right now - right now, they think maybe they can see why.

Apologies never did much to ease the pain of what happened.

"And a lot of them didn't say sorry."

"Sometimes it is very hard to admit wrongdoing. It is easier to pretend that nothing is wrong, or that... a mutual understanding has taken place, and therefore the words do not need to be spoken aloud."

"But it's not fair."

It bursts from their mouth in a childish blurt before they can stop them - and they can't stop them, can they? They can't stop anything that flows out after.

"None of them ever said sorry. They hurt me. They killed me. And it's not...fair."

"Was it fair when my son was killed by humans for the taking the body of his dead sibling to be buried? Was it fair when I responded by vowing to kill every human in response to a single death? Was it fair when, after you spared me, some other monster came up to kill me and take away your hope for a peaceful life in the Underground? Was it fair that you could spring back to life from the dead, to... restart the process anew whenever you cared to? No parts of this have ever been fair."

"But..."

But what? He's right. They know he's right. He's had even longer than they have to digest this in full; to comprehend his mistakes and contemplate them and process them and really, truly understand them in all their variegations. Was it fair that the other monster who came to steal his SOUL was his own son? Was it fair, what happened to Asriel? What happened to Chara?

"But we were just kids." The words are helpless as they are, small and...and pointless, really, all things considered. "We were...we were just kids."

"No, it wasn't fair, was it. Had you been adults, would it have been more fair? Maybe a little, but only a little. None of it was, or ever has been, fair. This is the burden of life -- we wish for fairness, but find that circumstances beyond our control prevent it, and even when we are in control of our own actions... weakness and frailty can still prevent us from seeking a better way."

"People...Alphys. She called determination the - the resolve to change fate."

The power to alter the very fabric of the world. Bright red and bristling, like a trident that slams through a button pronouncing MERCY, and breaks it beyond repair. The power to take the world and roll it in between your palms like kneading dough, or clay, and shape it to your will.

But only so much. Only so much.

You can't change what's already been set in the wet concrete.

"...was she wrong?"

"I do not think that she was wrong... just... perhaps limited. Monsters lack determination. At least, they lack the human sort. I do not know if I was trapped in my actions and the other human children could have... done something to alter it. Alphys' attempts to reconcile determination to Monsters proved... well. Unsuccessful as planned."

Asgore thought back to the time that Wonderland made the Amalgamates come into being, and he was shown the end result of Alphys' experimentations in determination.

"You changed things. Sometimes killing, sometimes not. You were determined where I... could not be. Within your limited scope of possibilities. In the system which I had set up for you. There's a... mechanical governance of the world... one where options come pre-selected for you, where the choice between A and B is no choice at all. In those moments, can one ever said to be culpable for their own actions? It is only in those slivers of the world where we have true choices that we can engage in a moral governance... I had a choice, once. But then once made, I became entrapped by it. It hemmed in all other actions... blinded by pride and fear..."

He's right. Righter than maybe he realizes. Your choices are only as variegated as the world will allow. You can deny fate, you can circumvent the veins of things, you can stamp your feet and grind to a halt and stop yourself dead, if you really wish it. If you will it hard enough. But it isn't much of an end at all, is it? It isn't much of a choice. Because, one way or another, you're going to have to keep going.

You have to Continue.

They could change the choices they made. But could they ensure that eight children never died? Could they see to it that the crown prince of the Underground never became a soulless weed? Could they make sure that no one ever ate a poisoned pie, or drowned in their own blood, or climbed a mountain?

They were locked in place the moment they landed on the bed of golden flowers. One SOUL fusing with their own, the pieces warming and smoothing into the whole.

Determination.

"Our choices end where other people's choices start."

"And sometimes they begin only where some other choices have ended."

It was hard, Asgore thought, to be the two of them. Very hard, indeed. Perhaps harder than any other pair in the Underground.

He didn't know the entire story, of course, that there were one or two other ones out there who were just as plighted by fate.

"But here we are, nevertheless."

Despite everything, it's still both of you.

Despite everything, they're still them. For better or for worse. Despite every choice they have made and every promise they have broken and every line they have crossed - despite every death and every EXP and every rewritten nightmare.

It's still both of you.

"I guess, um," says Frisk, an uncertain lift to the words and an awkward shuffle to their feet, bereft of all but the necessity that they say precisely what they mean, "there's worse things."

"Reliving what's behind those doors, for example."

Dead and dying children, stretching out from the deep past into the here and the now.

"...yeah."

They know what's behind their door. They locked it, to make sure no one would see it, but...that doesn't really guarantee anything. Anyone could still break down the door, or teleport inside. Anyone at all.

"Did you lock yours?"

"Of course not," replied Asgore, somewhat taken aback by the suggestion.

"It is not right for me to do so. I... I placed a notice on my door, informing any who care to read it that inside was the day of my children's deaths. It's a fixture of who I became; to deny it would be to deny myself."

"You're braver than I am."

They'd lock that away, the first chance they get. Or - or maybe they wouldn't. They closed theirs off because too many people already knew about what happened, that terrible day, and they don't think that Chara would take kindly to even more people knowing the extent of it.

Conversely, maybe they would - a little too much.

"There's little bravery in it; just resignation. I spent too long apart from everyone else due to my children's deaths. There's little sense in trying to hide from them now."

He's right there, too. There's a certain wisdom in that, even if he maybe won't recognize it as wisdom. Just...acceptance. Is it giving up, if you know you cannot change it? Is determination all but useless, when the fate is already carved into stone?

It's not really a resolve to change every fate, and even if it's just your own, there's a limit to how much it can do. How far it can go.

They can't do everything.

But they can do something

"Do you want some company?"

"I have a, uh, recliner and a cot and a beer cooler, although with diet sodas instead of the beer, outside of my room. You're more than welcome to pull up an appropriately-sized recliner, and join me, if you wish it."

"Soda's okay." They like soda. Don't they? They...yeah. Sickly yellow liquid, but they like the stuff that isn't lime-flavored too. It's sugary, and fizzes on their tongue, and Chara doesn't like it, but they do. That's one of the careful differences they managed to settle out across the pair of them.

Soda is okay.

"Wonderful. We can also get other things, if you like it. There's tea, but I, well, it's harder to keep warm out in the hallway without plugging things in and... anyway it gives me an excuse to get out and move to the kitchens. As you can see."

"It's okay." They can't say anything they don't mean, so...it really is okay, right now. They don't mind just soda. Soda, and some company of someone they've not quite let themself realize - is a little like them, in some ways.

"...unless you want tea. I can wait, if you want tea."

"I have this cup; that is enough for now. Would you care to join me in the hallway, Frisk the Human?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

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whatre you doin here asbro

When I posted the internet blinked out. When I realized this, and hit "send again" ... I was Asbro.

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"Killing everyone but Jerry."

truly the worst of all evils

Sans shows up; you still get Megalovania'd because it's crueler than the all-kill

somehow i can believe it

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