Pᴇᴛᴇʀ Pᴀʀᴋᴇʀ. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
saved) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entrancelogs2017-11-14 03:02 pm
saved) wrote in entrancelogs2017-11-14 03:02 pm
[ota] when did i become so numb?
Who: Peter Parker and You.
Where: Outside/His room
When: 11/13 -> 11/20
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Peter returns from his canon update as a wreck. Approach with caution. Feel free to approach him outside, in the hallway, or if you know him, go to his room/contact him via device. (Warning: I apologize too if these threads don't go to AC length. He's shutting down and avoiding and tending to lash out. He'll get better and then the CR can build off of these short, emotional bursts. ).
The Story:
♪ It's been a couple weeks since it happened. It replays in his head with perfect clarity whenever he closes his eyes.
There's the desperateness that he reaches out with (webbing flinging out, attaching to her). He can feel the weight of her body against his hand as he tries to pull her up from an endless fall. He hears the crunch of her head hitting the pavement and the snap of her spine splitting in half. Gwen. He killed her in more ways than one. He'll never forget that sound (or that she was about to take a flight and be free to do great things).
He barely leaves his room. Why would he? He's not Spider-man anymore. He functions on the barest of levels because of his aunt- because she already lost Ben ( again because of him. Captain Stacy too. Father and daughter dead, a promise broken. Noticing a pattern? It's him).
A shroud weighs on him as he finds himself outside of the mansion, staring at it, processing it too slow, looking wrecked (like he hasn't eaten much or slept much or put on new clothes today).
A rush of memories spill in like rapids, intermingling strangely with what he has lived the last year or so (it's terrible they're made to forget). He had friends here. He had Mary Jane here. Memories clash together abruptly. None of these people are in his world. She's not in his world. It's just him. Alone.
Peter sinks down to the pavement. Breath catches in his lungs. He punches a hole into the ground, scraping and cracking his knuckles in the process. Tears build in his eyes. When he can move again, it's sharply like he's tightly wound, like he's jagged edges barely bound together, ready to lash out. Blood drips off his hand. He moves through the hallways straight to his room.
For the week, he stays there. Sometimes answering the door when there's a knock. Sometimes answering his device when someone calls. Sometimes lying in bed and not answering anything at all.
Where: Outside/His room
When: 11/13 -> 11/20
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Peter returns from his canon update as a wreck. Approach with caution. Feel free to approach him outside, in the hallway, or if you know him, go to his room/contact him via device. (Warning: I apologize too if these threads don't go to AC length. He's shutting down and avoiding and tending to lash out. He'll get better and then the CR can build off of these short, emotional bursts. ).
The Story:
♪ It's been a couple weeks since it happened. It replays in his head with perfect clarity whenever he closes his eyes.
There's the desperateness that he reaches out with (webbing flinging out, attaching to her). He can feel the weight of her body against his hand as he tries to pull her up from an endless fall. He hears the crunch of her head hitting the pavement and the snap of her spine splitting in half. Gwen. He killed her in more ways than one. He'll never forget that sound (or that she was about to take a flight and be free to do great things).
He barely leaves his room. Why would he? He's not Spider-man anymore. He functions on the barest of levels because of his aunt- because she already lost Ben ( again because of him. Captain Stacy too. Father and daughter dead, a promise broken. Noticing a pattern? It's him).
A shroud weighs on him as he finds himself outside of the mansion, staring at it, processing it too slow, looking wrecked (like he hasn't eaten much or slept much or put on new clothes today).
A rush of memories spill in like rapids, intermingling strangely with what he has lived the last year or so (it's terrible they're made to forget). He had friends here. He had Mary Jane here. Memories clash together abruptly. None of these people are in his world. She's not in his world. It's just him. Alone.
Peter sinks down to the pavement. Breath catches in his lungs. He punches a hole into the ground, scraping and cracking his knuckles in the process. Tears build in his eyes. When he can move again, it's sharply like he's tightly wound, like he's jagged edges barely bound together, ready to lash out. Blood drips off his hand. He moves through the hallways straight to his room.
For the week, he stays there. Sometimes answering the door when there's a knock. Sometimes answering his device when someone calls. Sometimes lying in bed and not answering anything at all.
no subject
he's been there. And there wasn't anything anyone could say to make it better. Still Peter is his friend, and he doesn't give up on his friends. ]
Pete. [ He doesn't really want to do this standing in the hallway. ] Can I come in?
[ If Peter says no, he won't push, he will let him be alone for the time being,
but he would come back and try again. ]
no subject
( Peter scrubs a hand over his face but finally answers by nodding and stepping away from the door so Billy can come in. He's been such a good friend to him in Wonderland. They're always there for each other. Peter's- He's not used to that. He doesn't have Mary Jane or Billy or Elena or Fitz or Jemma or Daisy or anybody there except his Aunt who he can't- he can't tell the truth to.
He moves back to the corner he'd been in, sinking down into it, pulling his legs up to his knees as he stares at his hands which are pressed against his face. )
no subject
Do you want to talk about it?
no subject
( It's said darkly, lowly. His hand slides over his own face, and he finally lets those hands fall down in front of him. His voice is sharp as it leaves him. There's so much anger in him. Not many people know. He doesn't let himself feel it, because of what happened to Uncle Ben, but swallowing that anger down didn't save Captain Stacy or Gwen. )
A lot of people are dead because of me. This isn't what a masked super powered person is supposed to do so I'm not going to anymore.
no subject
[ He would never argue that. If Peter needs to stop than he needs to stop. Billy needed to stop after Cassie and Jonas died, he needed that break and that distance. But once you put on that mask or that costume and help people, it never really leaves you. Eventually they all come back to it. It’s in their nature. But Peter needs to figure that out for himself. ]
People have died because of me too. Because of decisions I made and because I was so sure I was right. Two of my teammates died because of me. I don’t know what happened back home but you don’t have to explain. I get it.
no subject
It's a really shitty thing to get.
I'm sorry you get it too.
( distantly but genuinely as he scrubs his hands over his face. ) You ever create your own super powered villain?
no subject
Technically no, but I gave a super villain more power- immeasurable power, and he used that to kill my two friends. [ Which then led his other friend down the path that would turn him into a super villain too. But it was complicated and this wasn’t about him. It was about Peter. ]
Did you?
no subject
I'm sorry. ( It's a shitty thing to be able to relate on. )
Yeah.
Not on purpose, but yeah, two super powered villains.
Two of the only ones my New York City's ever seen.
no subject
Which two? [ Because knowing what Peter is dealing with might help, and he might know which villains did this to his friend. ]
no subject
( That's what they called Harry afterwards. He didn't pay much attention to the media but he remembers hearing that distantly through the haze of everything else. )
no subject
Yeah. We have them in my world too.