The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one.

[thecourier]

Who: Dan Palmer/Courier Six, Nathaniel Howe, Regis, Crowley & R AND ALSO YOU
Where: The Bathhouse
When: 11/17 - 11/20
Rating: PG-13 & up
Summary: “One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.”
The Story: All top-levels for the event can be found inside~ If you want a safe-zone thread, just reply with that in the subject. Assume all characters in safe zones are in some level of 'fuck this mess'.

Comments

[morework]

[ He stops listening to the Shadow as it goes on, as best as he can. If these creatures know their minds, then another man's is not for him to hear. As for the solution to this opponent, Cullen had no time to monitor the network for results. A fact he regrets now.

Cullen raises his sword, and nods readily all the same. ]

[thecourier]

[Deep breath.

Right now, he would rather be anywhere else but here.]

Okay, let's fuckin' get this over with.

[The Shadow opens its mouth as if to speak but Dan stops it with one raised hand, brought up in a sharp gesture. There's nothing on his face that suggests the usual genial attitude he sports.]

First thing, yeah, I like t' talk my way outta problems b'fore I go fer a gun. Nothin' wrong wi' that. Second thing, no, I don't fuckin' deserve that woman, but she loves me anyway. Third thing, yeah, eventually 'm gonna leave the Strip an' 'll probably leave a lotta hurt behind me when I do. I gotta make my peace wi' that.

[Those are the easy ones. He spares a quick look to the commander, and almost looks apologetic. His next words stick in his throat.]

An'... the rest of it.

The rest? [The Shadow bristles up slightly, and Dan takes a small step back with a barely concealed grimace.]

Say it.

[morework]

[ This is not his place. Cullen shifts uneasily. The apprehension of watching a mage's Harrowing, salted with restlessness as he witnesses a battle of wills he has no part in. None, save for awaiting- what, even? For Dan to embrace the creature's words, or to deny them? Are they meant to defeat, or to appease? And would it be truly such a bad idea if he just slashed at the monster's neck with a swift blow, because--

--Cullen nods to Dan, a mere reminder that he is still here, still ready. For what he wishes he could say with more certainty.

He glances at the Shadow then, seeing it satisfied with the words so far, as best as he can tell. Is that good or bad?

(Cullen catches a word here and there, no matter how hard he tries not to. The rest, they both say, and he braces himself for whatever comes next.) ]

[thecourier]

[There's hesitation, but he gives the man a small nod in response. If he's honest, it's a small comfort to have someone keeping their eye on the situation, even if it's someone that he doesn't know terribly well.]

Say it! [The Shadow insists. Its eyes flash strangely as the steam around it shifts. Dan's fists clench up, nails digging into the soft flesh of his palms.]

Fine! Shit! Fine, my head's a fuckin' wreck an' I won't tell anyone about it 'cause I can't-- I don't want people thinkin' less a' me. Because I can't... be that person. Not fer anyone. There. That what y' wanna here? Y' fuckin' humiliated me enough?!

[His voice only gets louder, reaching a volume seldom heard from the calmly-spoken courier. There's a small crack on the final word, yet--

The Shadow steps towards him and offers one hand out passively. Dan gives Cullen a warning look - be ready - but the battle he expects doesn't come. The moment their hands make contact, the Shadow dissolves and vanishes, and Dan sways backwards on the spot, pulling in a deep breath and letting it out slowly.]

What... the... shit. Fuck.

[morework]

[ Cullen tenses. Not at the words, not at the hand extended, but at this. The creature vanished, but to where? His eyes narrow. Sword poised to strike he approaches Dan. These are not creatures of his world, this is not a man he knows well, but he looks him up and down with as much scrutiny as he can muster. ]

Are you- all right?

[ Still yourself? ]

[thecourier]

... Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

[He has that question, himself, but he doesn't... feel any different. His fingers flex loosely before he drops his hand down to his side, only to bring it up moments later to wipe the sweat from his face.]

Sorry y'... had t' see all that.

[There's no room for pretense, here. He feels like the human equivalent of a viciously deflated balloon.]

[morework]

[ The eyes tell it best. His- look tired. Human. If he is anything but himself, then Cullen sees no indication of it. He dares a small breath of relief, and slowly sheathes his sword. ]

No need for that. You stood against it. That cannot have been easy.

[ He remembers the transmission again. Everything it said these creatures were. Not easy in the slightest. ]

[thecourier]

Like y've no fuckin' idea. [One thumb drags up his temple, pressing hard against a purple, knotted scar standing clear against the skin.]

Didn't think it'd be that easy.

[Accept it, right? Tell them that what they're saying is true. Maybe having a witness to it helped.]

'preciate it if y' didn't... y'no.