[closed] i'd hate to let you down, so I'll let the waters rise

[voidfished]

Who: Mirror Lucretia and Lup
Where: Mansion hallways
When: Backdated to Ewaymas
Rating: PG-13 off the bat for mentions of slight body horror, and the conversation probably won't be too pleasant.
Summary: It's the first time Lucretia's mirror has gotten to be a person again in what feels like centuries, and finds maybe the exact person she was looking for. Unfortunately for Lup, it's not who she wanted to find. (Replies will be coming from famibus).
The Story:

[Well this... this is new.

It's hard to say, when it comes to being a Mirror, how much of memory is true. The truths, as Mirror Lucretia can find them, is that she didn't exist before about two months ago. This would be correct whether she was created here or elsewhere; the void of the Hunger is great, and even now, disconnected, back in corporeality, it's a rebirth. Seeing her skin again, marred by cuts and slashes of black and yellow and red void swirling, only ceases to remind her that she should not be here.

But she hasn't a choice, pulled into another's service. She just has to keep going.

At this point, her modus operandi is figuring out her setting, the layout of her scene, and steadying herself for the oncoming storm. If she's lucky, she'll be the one bringing it. The Mirror walks the halls, footsteps quiet, lost in her own thoughts as she catelogs the layout, pieces of darkness moving on the surface of her form in splintered cracks, making her move even as she stands still.

No Lucretia here is whole, it seems. But at least this one was lucky enough to retain a youthful face.]

Comments

[restinglichface]

[It's the familiar flash of red that catches Lup's eye first.

Wonderland isn't a place that she feels she'll ever adjust to, no matter how much time passes. Still, Lup's found some semblance of a routine within the last few weeks. There are people and places she cycles between daily, activities and hobbies delved in to soak up her free time. The kitchen has seen the most of the elf during her stay, usually being the first place she turns to when a distraction is needed and she needs out of her own spiraling thoughts.

Today, however, Lup's headed upstairs with a lighter heart than usual, her thoughts turned towards the holiday. Thinking of their last Candlenights spent together still leaves a bitter taste on her tongue, Lup's own memories of the time fogged so heavily with the grief she'd been consumed with. The guilt of what they'd done to that world never dissolves completely, Lup can still feel it sitting like a weight on her chest when she lays down at night, but she's determined to not let it interfere with the holiday this year. Which means showering her family in her ultra-special Candlenights cookies.

But, as things go, she never quite makes it to her destination.

It doesn't matter how long it's been, even just a glance of Lucretia from behind is more familiar than anything to the elf. Lup takes in the woman's short hair, the delicate hands hanging at her side, that long red cloak that she'd be able to pick out from anywhere. What the hell is going on?]

Lucretia? Is that-- Luce?

[famibus]

[She sees her before she sees her. It's a sensation long forgotten, of a bond long burnt, a connection long lost. But there's a flash of long ears, a sweep of hair, soft skin and a fire behind her eyes that Lucretia would know anywhere.

As it seems, so does Lup. But this is not the Lucretia she's looking for, she is sure. No one has been looking for her for a long time.

She takes her time stopping, crossing her heels in an elegant turn, the robe getting lift as she turns to look at Lup down the hall with a small smile. Lup, however, can probably tell something is wrong immediately. Cuts slash through her with the black and red and yellow and green of the Hunger moving through like liquid, surging against their edges like a splatter of mud. One cut has rendered itself directly through the all-important patch on the robe's left breast, making the word within illegible, the circle of colored planes around it faded against the color of the sickness on her form. Another break of it stays in her face, cutting diagonally through her right eye, which is still visible through it but darker, translucent, like pure black opal. The eyelash above it is entirely white, though that's not out of place with the color of her hair. It manifests in other places, as well; curling up an arm, a piece on her back Lup may have already seen, a break on her leg leading to her ankle. Something entirely wrong.

A sound rings out, that Lup has probably heard countless times. A beat, of something unknowable, another plane descending upon the world.

But she's here. And she smiles.]

Lup. It's been too long.

[restinglichface]

[Lucretia turns to look at her and all Lup can focus on is the sudden pit in her belly, the chill twisting up her spine that leaves her ears twitching in a fit of sudden nervousness.

Sharpened survival instincts seem to sense the danger here immediately, even if the elf can't quite comprehend exactly what it means. That whoever this figure is, they both are and are not Lucretia.]

What the-- Lucretia, what the fuck. [Lup's experience with Wonderland's mirrors has been limited enough that her thoughts don't leap to the most obvious conclusion immediately. Instead, she strides quickly towards the other Lucretia, closing the distance between them in a few fast steps, her gaze flicking over the other woman's broken face, across the long gashes of the Hunger that slice through her body. She reaches out without even thinking, fingers inching towards the familiar patch against her breast that's been split in two.]

What--what happened to you? Why are you-- I--...

[It usually feels like an honest-to-god miracle for anyone to render Lup speechless, but whatever is standing in front of her is anything but a miracle. This can only be a nightmare.]

[famibus]

[Frankly, the mirror almost didn't expect Lup to approach- sure, she has always been impulsive, dangerous, but out of all things this should have given her a moment of pause. Or perhaps not. Perhaps this is all a misplaced worry, a problem she thinks she can fix, a hero to the rescue of her. But there will be no rescuing or savior for her, one who has made her choice, who has already lost it.

So she reaches up, and takes Lup's hand, but not in the reverential way she was held on Lucretia's arrival. This is a crush, a wrap of a hand around outstretched fingers, palms refusing to meet, and her eyes drift to it as she holds steady.]

Did I scare you? I imagine this is jarring, from the face you've grown to know. But you remembered me first, didn't you Lup? This eternally young face. This girl trapped in time.

[Her gaze flicks upward, but her head is still tilted towards her hand.]

Tell me, what were you expecting to find? Do you even know who I am?

[restinglichface]

[Lucretia's hand reaches up for hers, and for the briefest moment, Lup feels the tension in her chest lighten. There's a flicker of obvious relief across her sharp features, as if this small step was the beginning to fixing whatever trouble her dearest friend had fallen into.

But even the sight of the Hunger's trademark void slashing over Lucretia's face and body wasn't enough for a warning for the elf. Her hand connects and it is a vice, not a plea for help. Lup gasps out in surprise, pulling back on instinct but trapped painfully there in the other woman's grip.]

Let go of me! [It comes off more startled than the snarl she'd like it to be, but it's the only warning the mirror is given. The hand that this Lucretia has trapped suddenly lights up in flames, nothing hot enough hurt her, but a painful warning to not try that again. Lup may be at a disadvantage in this situation, but that doesn't mean she's completely helpless.

This thing is may wear Lucretia's face, but that was where the similarities ended. It can't be her.]

Whoever the fuck you are, you're done with this act. This--This isn't Lucretia at all. You're doing a real shitty imitation, fucko.

[famibus]

[When the fire comes, she lets go; this Lucretia knew there would be a retaliation, a blowback for her actions, and it's inconsequential. She shakes her hand once, like it was nothing, keeping herself stoic and almost bored. It's about time Lup knew what she was dealing with.

Lucretia tilts her head upwards, one good and one black opal eye meeting Lup's in a tight and piercing gaze.]

You really have no idea what's going on, do you? Been here for months and you haven't once read up on how this works? The better versions of you, beyond the glass?

[Part of her wants to approach again, but that feels almost foreign. It's been a long time since she, separate from the Hunger, has wanted anything, but touching Lup's hand even once reminded her of something she'd forgotten.

Oh well. There's no time for that, now. This is laying down the law. This is...

It's something, at least. She flexes her fingers, the hand Lup tried to burn. It's an odd sensation, one she can't quite place, and it's throwing her.]

I am as much Lucretia as the older face you greeted with the same... pained pleasantries. Simply different ways the future could have gone. Paths diverged into history. That doesn't make either of them truth.

[restinglichface]

[The flames dissipate the moment that the other Lucretia releases Lup, but the elf doesn't take a step back, doesn't bother to put any distance between her and the other woman. Even if the sight of her dearest friend looking like this does something awful to her heart, she's not scared of her. She can't let herself be.]

So that's it. [It hurts something awful to see any version of Lucretia like this, ripped apart and reformed by the Hunger, but now that Lup understands just what she is, denying her comes so much more easy.]

That's a fuckin' lie. You aren't... You aren't anything. You're not real. Just a shitty reflection of a better person.

[It's what Lup has to believe. Lucretia's made some pretty big mistakes along the way to becoming who she is now, but from what Lup's learned since her arrival, they'd all been done with the best of intentions. Always with their family in mind, always hurting herself for the sake of the people she loved. This mirror of her isn't the same. No chance.]

[famibus]

A better person?

[What wording, Lup. What careful ideals. It's almost enough to make her smile, the curve of her lips subtle between them.]

I am the outcome of a different set of decisions. A similar choice, to go instead of stay. A step to the left in desperation for the love of a family.

[She doesn't move, either, but she does meet Lup's eyes, one normal and one swirling black opal, just enough light inside to see movement.]

In all things, a sacrifice. In her world, it was you, everyone's thoughts, their dreams, to be borne on her back. In mine...

[She examines her hand again, watches the crawl of the river of inky black that flows through it.]

I made my choice, for the good of the world.

[restinglichface]

[Her damn eye is so hideously mesmerizing that Lup can't help but meet the other woman's gaze, her attention drawn to how menacingly it stared back, inky and endlessly black.

The mirror's words manage to cut through the elf's overwhelming suspicion, just barely. There's no doubt in Lup's mind that Lucretia would give herself up a hundred times over for her family, for the world they'd hurt, all in the name of doing what's right. But would she really go so far as this? To lose all hope in their ability to fix things? To think this was the last chance they ever had to make it?]

Well? Did throwing yourself to the Hunger manage to save the world or not? Cuz all I'm hearin' is a hell of a lot of talk with shit to back it up with.

[famibus]

That sounds like you just don't want to accept the truth.

[This Lucretia has no remorse for these actions- why should she? She isn't quite herself anymore, with those old aches and desires and wants. They've been replaced. Now, it's a matter of expanding. Reaching the tips of herself throughout this world until there is nothing left. She'll control it all. She'll protect everyone.]

Don't you see? I'm in control now. The Hunger can't hurt you anymore, because... it's me.

[She reaches out again with the corrupted hand, and this time the blackness moves just outside her, curling around even whole, human fingers with form and color.]

It can never hurt you all again.

[restinglichface]

[This is too much.

Lup steps away this time, putting just enough distance between them to be out of reach, before she's tearing her gaze away from the mirror. She can't just sit here and chat with this woman. Pretend that everything is all fine between them while the Hunger's colors swirl sickeningly against her, it's ravenous need for more spreading moment by moment. Maybe this version of Lucretia's right. Maybe Lup really is turning her eyes away blindly from the truth she doesn't want to accept.

But this is a future Lup would give anything to avoid. Even if it means her brother's memories of her stay lost forever. She can't accept any of this.]

We all would have taken a little hurt to save you, Luce.

[famibus]

[Lup moves away, speaks again, and Lucretia's expression falls. Why isn't she getting this? That's not the point. The tendrils receed almost immediately, her hand closing around them to cut off the last bits.]

You don't understand. Why can't you get this?

[She can't stop gripping her hand tight, feeling the bit of the Hunger inside struggle. She has this. She has it right here. Why can't Lup accept this was for the best?]

I can do this. I can, and I have, and-- and I will. I'll take it. I saved you then and I can save you now. I took away the problem, Lup.

[Why isn't she okay?]

You'll never hurt again. All it took was me. This is how I can save you!

[restinglichface]

How is any solution where we lose you to that for the best?

[Even before their kiss, even before the warm feelings that had developed, Lup wouldn't have accepted this outcome. Lucretia was her family, a group that had expanded out to only one for so long, but within the last century finally grew to include five others. Doesn't she understand the significance of her place in Lup's life? Doesn't she know their entire family would fight the actual apocalypse over and over and over again if it meant the seven of them all surviving and staying together?]

I don't need saving. That's you. [Somewhere, Lup understands that this isn't actually Lucretia, that the woman standing before her is some kind of trick of Wonderland, meant to confuse her and pick at her emotions. But...]

I'll figure out a way, alright. Gimme some time.

[famibus]

[For the first time this conversation, it's the mirror who steps back, clutches at her chest. The bits of the Hunger that are visible on her surge faster, their constant shifting becoming a pattern as they try to connect to something unavailable. She's displaced. A woman given over to something unknowable and spit back out different, fake, real all at once. Who is she becoming, if Lup looks at her with trouble in her eyes, if she's only added weight to the other woman's shoulders? That isn't what she wanted. None of this is what she wanted.

And just like that, she squares her shoulders, forces herself to calm. No. No, it's not her that's wrong.]

No, you don't. You don't need to save me! I'm protecting more than you, Lup. No plane will ever be consumed again! No more fear, no more shame, no more dread-- don't you understand?

[She feels volitile, hurt, wrong. She isn't this important. Not for the world. Not for countless worlds.]

I am not worth more than a universe. None of us are. You need to understand that, when sacrifice becomes necessary.

[restinglichface]

[This just isn't something that either of them are ever going to budge on. Even when the mirror falls back briefly, disbelief written across the desperate way she clutches at her chest, Lucretia's recovery comes too swiftly after. Lup's spent her entire life fighting. She knows enough of what it looks like when someone isn't going to back down.

The elf remains just as firm in her words, though her heart hurts to know this woman doesn't think herself enough to be worth saving. How could any of them treated her differently? How could they have reassured her of their love enough to where she'd never think this route was necessary? Maybe it makes sense, to sacrifice one for the sake of all, but Lup just can't agree with it. They all promised no more needless sacrificing, didn't they? Not just in regards to the inhabitants of the various planes they landed on but of themselves too.

They are so much more than just a group of strangers stuck together for the sake of the mission. They're a family. And Lup would fight just as strongly for Lucretia as she would for Taako, regardless of how deep her feelings may run for the other woman now.

This Lucretia steps back, but Lup finally glances back her way. She just has to ask.]

What about Taako? Or Magnus? Or even me? If we stood in your way, would you take us out? A necessary sacrifice for the rest of the universe?

[famibus]

[Of course she can't back down. She's already made the sacrifice. Already cosigned herself to this fate she has made, the end of the universe and oblivion at her fingertips. What choice does she have but to see this through to its conclusion? What option could she consider in giving up if it threw away everything they had worked for for a hundred years?

Lup may see it foolishly. But she must protect these people. The world, her friends, all of it.

She has removed all other options in pursuit of this. And still, facing the inevitability of it hurts. The truth of it finds her, in a place she thought herself past consequence.

Lucretia grits her teeth, feeling like everywhere and nowhere all at once. And still, she pushes forward.]

You'll understand. Eventually, you will have to.

[She turns, intent on finding somewhere soon just to fall apart.]

You will have to give up on me.

[restinglichface]

[She lets the mirror go. They're both trapped at an impasse now, unable to move forward now that they're stuck in each other's orbit, but the elf's determined to prove that this Lucretia is all wrong.

Lup can still save her. She can still fix this.]

Get ready to see just how stubborn I can be.

[One of them will have to buckle at some point and Lup knows above all else it won't be her.]

[famibus]

[A part of her is already regretting this, wanting to run back into Lup’s arms, to apologize, to beg her to fix it. But that’s not the person this Lucretia can afford to be anymore. Lup cannot be her savior. She must be the one who saves. It’s all she has, now, as he body wants to betray her, the Hunger swirling and trying to drip out of her at every moment.

Her last line is quiet, and not directed at Lup, but already she knows it betrays her mission.]

I already know.

[And she walks off, intent on disappearing somewhere to (literally) pull herself back together.]