[Open] an equation of variables

[hypoxic]

Who: Leo Fitz and/or Jemma Simmons AND YOU?
Where: All over -- Hopefully not around the dinosaurs? (but maybe around the dinosaurs)
When: Feb. 9th - 11th
Rating: Will mark if anything goes above PG13.
Summary: Jemma and Fitz are revisiting a near-death experience they had together. They’re slightly less than okay, but that seems to be going around right now.
The Story:

[ early event ]

[Ten days ago, they’d both been trapped underwater. There’d been an incident. Friends betrayed friends. They’d narrowly avoided death. Twelve hours ago, they’d been coping with the longterm repercussions of that, when a moment of sacrifice has the potential to turn into something much more permanent. Ten minutes ago, they were in the med bay. He’d been sitting up. She’d been trying to help him speak full sentences.

And now they’re here. Wherever “here” even is. They stay together for a lack of other options. And though they’re both easily recognizable by those who know them from Wonderland, there’s a particular sort of freshness to their faces. They’re substantially less weathered, even in their open discomfort. They’ll be cautious and curious both as they explore, though when approaching others, Jemma might be the one who does most of the talking.]

[ Jemma ]

[And there is quite a bit to talk about -- where the hell are they, who are these people, why are they here -- the questions are dizzying and almost endless and fade into the background almost immediately.

Fitz becomes her first priority, and she can sense that this grates on his nerves. Though they were told both the aphasia and nerve damage to his hand could improve with time and therapy, it’s still very fresh and frustrating. She wants to help, but that help seems to do little and less to improve matters. Still, in this strange place, she’s not going to lose track of her best friend and let him shove her away completely.

There is a lab that has traces of her and Fitz inside. She’s never seen it before, but if she could dream up a lab space, this looked very close to what she might come up with. There’s a library, a nice quiet space to sort through thoughts and find lots of books, which have given her comfort since she was a child. A girl’s gotta eat, so look, a kitchen (it gives you whatever you want! It’s almost too good to be true). And -- are those dinosaurs outside? Jemma’s not going to go out there to check (she’s had quite enough adventure for a while, thank you very much) but she’ll definitely be looking out windows and might venture up to higher floors to get a better look at them from the top. If she has to go looking for Fitz, she could end up just about anywhere.]

[ Fitz ]

[Sometimes when Jemma is absorbed with everything, Fitz sneaks off for space. He’s fully aware that he’s a liability like this. He’s holding her back, and possibly keeping her from solving the problem of getting them all home. She’s wasting her time taking care of him instead of handling the situation. So he’ll stay by himself as well, holing up in a lab that has his name everywhere (even though he can’t remember ever being here before), or sneaking down to the kitchen for snacks. He might even peek outside to check on the dinosaur issue for himself. He’d like to be helpful, if he can manage it.]


[OOC: Liz and I will both be tagging this post. Please specify if you’d like to thread with Jemma, Fitz, or both. (respective plotting comments linked) Our schedules tend to clash, so the “both” option will probably result in a slower thread. Sorry in advance!]

Comments

[hypoxic]

You're touching things.

[That seems important to note, though the reason doesn't quite connect for him. She's touching a solid object and he's moving for her. His hallucinations tend to not do that. But isn't that because he tells them not to touch his things while he's working? He'll never get better if others do things for him.

He'll offer his left hand. It'll be more stable to hold something stationary.]

[mucked]

Rather necessary, I find. Unlike some of our fellows, I'm not able to move things with my mind. More's the pity.

[ again, a twist of humour. there isn't any part of peggy that truly envies anyone else's powers. she trusts her gut, her instinct, herself. it's all she's ever needed and all she hopes to ever need -- apart from a shiny new gun, perhaps.

but her touch is gentler than her words when she takes steady hold of his left wrist. that brief anchor lets her dump a little mountain of golden-coloured sultanas onto his hand. ]

[hypoxic]

O-our fellows...?

[Oh dear. Does she mean the others? The odd little moments that don't make sense and that nobody else seems to see? This is terrible. He's getting worse, isn't he? A tremor runs through his left hand, and he snatches himself at the wrist to hold it steady.]

I'm getting better.

[It's forced, but important. Jemma thinks he's getting better every day. Not the physical Jemma who gets cross and frustrated with him, but the kinder one who'll come tuck him in at night and rub his shoulders until he falls asleep. She believes in him.]

[mucked]

It's -- tough to explain, Fitz.

[ she uses his name almost familiarly. maybe it would be cleverer to pretend like she didn't know him. smoother, perhaps, to treat him as though they'd met for the first time in the hallway. but her conscience gets the better of him. ]

But I've got every confidence that you'll continue getting better. [ whatever's happened, whatever's changed -- it's not the case with the fitz she's come to think about as her preferred shield agent. and if her logic guides her true and if, like the others, this is merely some 'earlier' fitz? then she knows damn well that he continues to get better.

there. sultanas deposited, she lets him go. peggy eats another few with a smile that isn't really a smile at all. it exists only in her eyes. ]

[hypoxic]

I... Yeah. [That cinches it. She wouldn't say that if she was real. Nobody ever really does. And that means it should be okay to talk to her about things from home. If she's just a trick of a misfiring synapse, then she'll be here to listen for at least a little while.

He picks a few pale fruits from his hand and eats slowly, deliberately. ]

It's nice of you to keep me company while Jemma's away. She's... It's difficult to get around without her.

[mucked]

[ every pause seems to make her heart skip. she's unaccustomed; she's unused to it. completely heedless of his assumption, peggy steams forward. she pops another dried grape into her mouth and chews. she keeps her own silence while he picks his way through another sentence. ]

I'm a little surprised to find you here without her, then.

[hypoxic]

Not that one. [ there's a Jemma here. He bothers her. She needs the space sometimes. ] She needs to. She's. [ he fusses with the pile of raisins to give his right hand motion. ]

She's going away soon. I have to become. Ac -- Ac. Cus. Tomed. [ he has to think the longer word through one syllable at a time, speaking it as it arrives before it has a chance to leave him again.

[mucked]

[ -- her confusion shows plain on her face. peggy could hide it, perhaps, but she's only the hiding sort when what she wants to hide could hurt her. and although fitz has no way to know it, the prime source of her confusion is this funny little implication that somehow peggy wasn't talking about the right jemma simmons.

after his struggles with accustomed, she pipes up: ] Would it help if you substituted something else for a word you can't find? A -- gesture, maybe. Or another word?

[ peggy doesn't know what he's fighting, exactly. but she knows codes. given context and enough wit, she might be able to spare him the pause at every term he can't remember. ]

[hypoxic]

I can do it.

[ his retort is immediate, offense clearly taken. Is she testing him. ]

I need to do it myself if I'm going to get better -- you know that.

[ it's a fight he has with himself frequently. The protests practically roll off his tongue. ]

[mucked]

Of course.

[ but ugh, that's so tedious -- when she'd gamble that in a few days' time everything will back to tickety-boo. normal. but the prospect of explaining so to him just seems so...unhelpful. more so than everything else. ]

But is it such a sin to suggest a touch of protocol should -- heaven forbid -- an emergency arise?

[hypoxic]

Nobody will come to me in an emergency and you know it.

They think I'm going to... um. Going. To... Oh, you already know.

[mucked]

[ peggy shakes her head. ]

I know I would.

[ four words -- short and sweet. he might have difficulty with his side of the conversation, but hers is achingly simple: she absolutely would come to him in an emergency. ]

[hypoxic]

[His eyes drop then.]

Shame you're not real.

[What sorts of emergencies can a hallucination ever really have?]

[mucked]

[ -- ah, well. that explains some of it. her mouth twitches into a frown, only for a moment, and that's the closest she comes to expressing her disappointment in his verdict. ]

You're not the first to suggest that this weekend. [ ... ] However, I'm afraid I'm very real. Impossible to prove, perhaps, but -- you'll figure that out in your own time.

[hypoxic]

And now I've made you cross.

[His kinder Jemma is frequently cross with him, but never as extremely as the real one is.]

You aren't going to leave, are you?

[mucked]

This isn't me being cross, Agent Fitz. [ a little formal once again. ] You'll know when I'm cross with you -- that's a promise.

[ a strange one, perhaps. ]

But no. I'm not leaving. Not yet. Arguably, I will have to eventually. There's someone waiting for me.

[hypoxic]

[His left hand quivers, and he'll summon a little dish to house the rest of their mutual snack, pulling his bad hand close to his waist again.]

I don't like to be alone. That's why Jemma's been so important lately. Jemma and now you, I reckon. You make me feel like it might not have to be like this forever.

[mucked]

[ rather vaulted company, isn't it? jemma and now you. peggy hums her brief confirmation that, yes, she's heard what he has to say -- but maybe she doesn't know how to accept it. ]

Like I said -- I have every confidence you won't be. But quite apart from that, you're still as clever as ever beneath it all. Aren't you? I'd like to think you are.

[ this assumption brought to you by the fact that peggy's been learning a lot of about stephen hawking of late. ]

[hypoxic]

There's a word nobody's used for me in a while. They've got loads of staff more... Um. More... [Bollocks, she's just said the word.]

[mucked]

They've got loads of staff more articulate. [ she provides him his word -- cheeky, almost, because she knows damn well it's not the one he's looking for. ] But I'm afraid that's not the same thing as clever.

Easy mistake to make, however.

[hypoxic]

You think they'll let me back in the field someday? Maybe... maybe if I solve this. [All this. If he can bring everyone home from here.]

[mucked]

Truthfully, that will never be my call to make. [ not least of all because this whole situation is temporary. but also because she's no leader of his. not his shield. ]

More importantly, I want to caution you against seeing this place -- Wonderland -- as a test. [ an old itch presents itself. something she's been inching towards, courting the corners of, but never quite saying: ] I daresay you could be the one to get us out of here, you know. But not because it's a hoop you need to jump through.

[hypoxic]

Everything's a test. [He shrugs lightly.] 'm always proving myself. Taking the easy way out is what Hydra does. [They were so sure about everything.]

[mucked]

Something can be difficult without being your own personal Gordian knot.

[ -- then again, how often has she had this conversation with him? the ongoing debate over how much of your own self-worth is healthy to feed into tasks and tests and tribulations.

although: ]

Try not to think too hard about getting out of here. [ he's not going to like that advice. she knows it. but she also knows that it would be a far worse sin to take his ignorance, now, and put him to work on a problem he doesn't want her to force him to solve. ] At least not until you've found your feet.

[hypoxic]

I can do it. It'll help me get better.

[Everything will. Every stumbling block is just another thing to help with therapy. Isn't it?]