[OPEN] is there anything that's worth more?

[slapfight]

Who: Peridot AND YOU!!
Where: Around the mansion
When: During the event
Rating: PG
Summary: Peridot's got some issues. Cue the singing, crying, and whining about singing and crying
The Story:


[TOP LEVELS BELOW]

Comments

[slapfight]

[Peridot frantically looks around for something to hide her shame behind, her cheeks turning blue from humiliation. She finally settles on half the whiteboard, covering her face with it.

Well... Half her face.]

It was- it was nothing! It's just the event. You can't take anything that happens in an event seriously.

[This would be great if she weren't such a terrible liar.]

[jivitadana]

[Minato stayed where he was since right now she was more than open and vulnerable and had every right to want to hide. He would have too, probably.]

Then just casually is okay? You seem worried.

[Or more than just that, but he chose "worried" over other words like distressed or panicked or maybe even embarrassed and he hoped not ashamed.]

[slapfight]

I just... didn't want anyone else to hear that?

[By "anyone else" she mostly means Lapis, but it's not a bunch of feelings she really wants associated to her, by any means, in general. She has a reputation! ..sort of.]

[jivitadana]

Sorry.

[He had to apologize again for listening too in the first place.]

You're waiting to be free?

[To be whatever she wanted to be?]

[slapfight]

[She sighs and flop down on the grass dramatically.] I'm waiting to find out why I got the opportunity. Or why it comes easier for me to adapt than it does for Lapis.

[jivitadana]

[He didn't like to think that it was just because of fate, the way things were, the way things were supposed to be.]

It makes you feel guilty?

[Even if it might not have been her fault?]

[slapfight]

[She rolls over on her side, drawing her legs up.] It makes me feel bad, because it makes her feel bad. I don't know how to fix it. I've done everything I can to make her feel better, to make her understand.

[a soft whine escapes her.] I don't know what to do anymore.

[jivitadana]

[Minato knelt down when she rolled over like that because he couldn't just stand there like that anymore.]

You're doing all that you can. Anyone would be grateful to have a friend like you.

[He could see how much this hurt her too. She was trying so hard and he wanted to acknowledge that, show her that it was recognized and appreciated.]

As you're getting closer though, you think she's pushing you away?

[slapfight]

[She nods pitifully.] Uh-huh...

I don't think she means to, but it's like... She doesn't know what else to do. She runs away when she starts feeling too much, and I just... Try and figure out the problem. I'm a kindergartner. Fixing things is what we do. But repairing feelings isn't like repairing an injector. It's complicated.

[She uncurls just slightly.] Steven's told me what to do before, but nothing he's taught me has worked.

[jivitadana]

[Minato could understand though, both sides. Lapis was right to feel however she wanted and Peridot had the right to feel that she should fix it because they were friends. It really was complicated and he moved a little closer to her.]

Can I ask what he's told you before?

[This seemed like the person Lapis mentioned before although he never asked for the name at the time because it didn't seem right to bring someone up that might have reminded her of things she didn't want to remember then.]

[slapfight]

Um... [She ticks off on her fingers.] Be sincere, let her know how I feel, give her things she likes, give her things I like... [She lowers her hand.] Are there more things?

[jivitadana]

[Minato didn't think there were. That seemed to cover it all, even some of the things he told her too.]

I don't know if she's pushing you away too because she doesn't want to feel vulnerable or if she doesn't want you to hurt either.

[It really was complicated. But being vulnerable around friends was okay. He learned that before too, even if it had been hard to try and change. He still wasn't as good at it as he should be.]

[slapfight]

But if she pushes me away, that makes me hurt anyway. Hnngh.

[She drags her hands down her face.] I'll give Earth and Earthling-dominated places a lot of credit, but all of these feelings could drive an average gem crazy.

[jivitadana]

They drive humans crazy too.

[Feelings were... yeah, as he said, complicated. Really complicated. And pretty fickle too sometimes, changing up and down and left and right all the time ever. And he never said it was rational either. If they were all rational, then they might not be having this conversation at all.]

If talking doesn't help, then doing something for her might. Just sitting with her and being quiet together? Or just listening when she's ready.

[Just being around her might help, even if Peridot didn't have anything to say.
Maybe she didn't need to say anything at all.]

[slapfight]

[She takes a deep breath, steadying herself, trying to listen, rather than just give in to her panic.]

Right. She does like that. And-and there are always practical solutions to problems, even emotional ones. I just have to think about this objectively.

[Some of the tension lets up.] Wow thanks...

[jivitadana]

[Minato nodded a little, though he wasn't sure he should really be thanked. He hadn't thought that he helped out as much as he should, but he did hope that it helped in some way.]

I guess sometimes not doing anything is like doing something.

[He meant like just sitting and being together, knowing that they had each other even if they didn't say anything, knowing that there was that unspoken and unending support.]

If you need help though for you, then I'd want to be there if you need it.