Claire Fraser (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
beautifullies) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entrancelogs2018-12-13 05:29 pm
beautifullies) wrote in entrancelogs2018-12-13 05:29 pm
Entry tags:
this is weird but would I change it? } OTA
Who: Claire & Jamie Fraser, Bree Randall, you???
Where: Claire's room, the clinic
When: Dec. 15-18
Rating: PG at most probably?
Summary: A very Lallybroch and North Carolina Yultide
The Story:
Fraser Residence
[ The entire week has been overwhelming, to say the absolute least about it. There's another version of herself floating around and Claire's contemplated saying something network wide but it doesn't feel right to do. But the sleepless nights, knowing exactly what's going through her younger self's mind, knowing how much is to come for her is...well. It's keeping her up at night.
That's why, late, she's strolling with Jamie around the grounds, just to clear their minds, hope for peaceful sleep. When they get back to their room, Claire opens the door and walks inside but then just stares. She doesn't even say anything, letting Jamie see it for himself.
The room is full of people and it's Lallybroch - full on, a Hogmanay celebration happening. As Claire watches, stunned, she realizes these people can't see her but the music, the dancing, it's all happening around her. Jenny and Ian, and there, together, are Jamie and Claire, dancing to a fiddler, younger - much younger - and Brianna running between their legs. Claire knows it's her because she could never forget that small face, but oh. It still makes her breath catch.
It's a Christmas past that never came to be, and she presses her fingers to her lips, feeling an ache in her chest. After about ten minutes the scene loops back to the beginning, playing again.
Anyone is welcome to see this scene should they visit the Fraser's. Once she's out of her stupor about it she'll explain what home was once, but how this version of it never happened for any of them. ]
The Clinic
[ Not even her usual place of solace is free from the event. It's as she's sitting at her desk in her office that she hears a baby begin to fuss and she looks up, realizing the immediate area in front of her has changed. There's a cabin, Jamie kneeling at the hearth with snow falling outside. Stockings hung as Claire (older now, the gray present in her hair) explains why and what for and that it isn't silly. There are four stockings, and the Claire watching the scene unfold wonders until.
Until.
Brianna wanders out, a child swaddled in her arms, held protective and close.
"Jemmy wanted his grandpa, I think."
"Och, give him here, then, the fire'll keep."
She watches as Jamie, a man denied the right to hold all three of his children cradles a grandchild close to his chest and it makes Claire's knees buckle, sinking back down into her office chair. Is this the future? Bree in North Carolina with them, a child, presumably a husband. (But no fifth stocking?) She blindly reaches for her messenger and just sends a text telling Jamie to get to the clinic.
Anyone visiting the clinic will see the scene, and it loops and loops and loops. ]
Where: Claire's room, the clinic
When: Dec. 15-18
Rating: PG at most probably?
Summary: A very Lallybroch and North Carolina Yultide
The Story:
Fraser Residence
[ The entire week has been overwhelming, to say the absolute least about it. There's another version of herself floating around and Claire's contemplated saying something network wide but it doesn't feel right to do. But the sleepless nights, knowing exactly what's going through her younger self's mind, knowing how much is to come for her is...well. It's keeping her up at night.
That's why, late, she's strolling with Jamie around the grounds, just to clear their minds, hope for peaceful sleep. When they get back to their room, Claire opens the door and walks inside but then just stares. She doesn't even say anything, letting Jamie see it for himself.
The room is full of people and it's Lallybroch - full on, a Hogmanay celebration happening. As Claire watches, stunned, she realizes these people can't see her but the music, the dancing, it's all happening around her. Jenny and Ian, and there, together, are Jamie and Claire, dancing to a fiddler, younger - much younger - and Brianna running between their legs. Claire knows it's her because she could never forget that small face, but oh. It still makes her breath catch.
It's a Christmas past that never came to be, and she presses her fingers to her lips, feeling an ache in her chest. After about ten minutes the scene loops back to the beginning, playing again.
Anyone is welcome to see this scene should they visit the Fraser's. Once she's out of her stupor about it she'll explain what home was once, but how this version of it never happened for any of them. ]
The Clinic
[ Not even her usual place of solace is free from the event. It's as she's sitting at her desk in her office that she hears a baby begin to fuss and she looks up, realizing the immediate area in front of her has changed. There's a cabin, Jamie kneeling at the hearth with snow falling outside. Stockings hung as Claire (older now, the gray present in her hair) explains why and what for and that it isn't silly. There are four stockings, and the Claire watching the scene unfold wonders until.
Until.
Brianna wanders out, a child swaddled in her arms, held protective and close.
"Jemmy wanted his grandpa, I think."
"Och, give him here, then, the fire'll keep."
She watches as Jamie, a man denied the right to hold all three of his children cradles a grandchild close to his chest and it makes Claire's knees buckle, sinking back down into her office chair. Is this the future? Bree in North Carolina with them, a child, presumably a husband. (But no fifth stocking?) She blindly reaches for her messenger and just sends a text telling Jamie to get to the clinic.
Anyone visiting the clinic will see the scene, and it loops and loops and loops. ]
The Clinic
Even if it's walking in a scene that, for a moment, has her confused.
Pausing to stare, to watch, a soft smile on her lips as she sees the baby. For a moment thinking she is in the wrong room, that they've changed things with all the new people.
Then she realizes that Claire is there twice. Once by the fire and once...
It's as if realizing that she can see more clearly, crossing to where Claire is seated in the chair, moving to kneel beside the chair.]
Are you okay? I... I'm sorry I'm bothering. I can leave if you want.
[Realizing it might not be an event but instead some kind of memory that Claire is wanting to revisit and perhaps not wanting to be intruded on either.]
no subject
No. No, you can stay, I mean.
[ She doesn't know if she's okay or not yet. ]
no subject
He's a beautiful baby.
[Which feel weak, but it makes her smile to see the child there with his family.]
no subject
[ Claire says it almost reverently, and just for need of connection, her hand grasps Misty's arms, even as she refuses to take her eyes away from the scene in front of her no matter how many times she's seen it already. ]
My husband was never able to hold our daughter. But if he can hold his grandchild...
[ God, it would be incredible. She hopes like hell this is the actual future. ]
no subject
[She feels the tears in her eyes, so glad for this wonderful woman and her husband. So when she explains who the bay is, Misty felt that stinging grow stronger, happy for Claire and saddened at the same time. For Jamie never holding their daughter.]
I'm so sorry he couldn't, but this... I believe eventually you will have this. I can't believe the things we're seeing aren't real.
[She leans into Claire, moving to hug her but not pulling her away from watching the scene before them.]
He's so beautiful.
no subject
I never thought I would be able to see my daughter again. Let alone a grandchild. But...
[ She does let out a shaky breath, pulling back only to look at Misty. ]
What I saw in my room isn't really. It could never be real because it happens in the past and it isn't a past that ever came to fruition.
no subject
Why can't it be real? We don't know that we won't be out of here sooner than later. Well, for those that want to go home. You could still have it.
no subject
[ Claire nods toward that scene. ]
The one in my room is of the past. But it's a fantasy. Something that never existed.
[ She points at Bree. ]
When I was pregnant with our daughter, I had to leave my husband. There was a war on. I would have been killed by association to Jamie if caught. So, he sent me away. And for twenty years, I believed he'd died.
no subject
Though even the reality of their life is exceedingly painful.]
Did you learn before you came to this place? That he was still alive, that is?
no subject
[ It's twisting her a bit, knowing she can't truly believe this as much as she wants. ]
no subject
Why isn't it real?
[Maybe it's a bit simple, maybe it's burying a head in the sand, but for Misty it brings joy and when they leave this place, they won't know the difference if all she's heard is true.]
no subject
[ Her voice is heavy with unshed tears and she swallows heavily. ]
There's no danger in hoping here, I suppose. I won't remember when I leave.
no subject
[So earnest in those words, hoping that maybe they can give her the one thing that Misty holds onto in this place. Hope. Hope that this place might mean more, that the future can be better. One way or another.]
no subject
Thank you, Misty. Truly.