"I don't!" Lapis protests. "I don't want any of this, not anymore!" Steven keeps urging her to stop this, but it's starting to sound like an accusation. Like she's just not trying hard enough -- like she just doesn't want to get out of here strongly enough. But then, the alternative is that what she wants doesn't matter, just like all those other times. Is that really better?

Jasper, on the other hand, still seems entirely unaffected by anyone's words -- like they're not even threatening enough to worry too much about arguing with, which may be the best indication Steven and Lapis are getting that this isn't the right track. Jasper begins sidling their bodies to face each other. "Why not?" she asks, lower, but still confident, still taunting. "You're stuck here either way, so you might as well enjoy it. You know you still could. It still feels good, doesn't it?"

She's right and wrong at the same time, although there is shame on Lapis's face. It doesn't feel good the way it did before; not when Lapis is being forced to act it out, not when she knows now what a mistake this was on every level, and not when she's learned what actual happiness can mean. But under all that, it is true that Lapis can recall the sick satisfaction of punishing Jasper. She will never forget. It's another part of the package she hates having to relive.