I would take a hundred years just to tell you how I feel | CLOSED

[singloversing]

Who: Wirt [singloversing] and Dipper [krmvgivv] | Louis [teamfun] and Mabel powerofmabel]
Where: Various Places!
When: 7/10
Rating: PG
Summary: Wirt and Dipper have a long overdue conversation, while their friends and family plot to force them to have said conversation. Hijincks will surely ensue.
The Story:

Wirt doesn't remember how he used to do this so easily.

Sure, there was a time when it was more difficult, when he and Dipper weren't close enough for him to feel comfortable just turning up out of the blue, but that feels like forever ago now. And yet, somewhere in the last few months, Wirt managed to ruin all of that. An event declared them soulmates, and Wirt was so afraid it would destroy their friendship that he pulled away on his own.

And things stayed that way for weeks, until it became clear that Wirt was avoiding Dipper. Events passed, and Wirt kept his distance. But then, a recent event made him rethink things. They had been in high school together, and instead of just being told they were destined, Dipper spent a lot of that event crushing on him, and deliberately seeking him out. When it was over and Wirt had his real memories again, and their high school days felt like a far-off dream...it occurred to him that Dipper might still feel that way. Wonderland is still trying to shove them together even when they're apart, so...

It took him a while after that. There were some Mirror shenanigans and he desperately needed a minute to figure out what he wants to say. He still doesn't really know what he wants to say now, not really, but the Cheshire Cat appeared to announce an event and the thought of this window of opportunity closing forever is absolutely terrifying.

So, he has to do it. He has to talk to Dipper.

He has to talk to Dipper.

...He's been outside Dipper's door for almost twenty minutes trying to gauge whether or not Dipper's actually inside, but he can't really tell. He can't really hear anything, but who knows? If he's in there by himself, he might just be super quiet.

Wirt takes a deep breath. And another.

Then, he knocks on the door, and tries his hardest to stop feeling like he's going to spontaneously combust from the pressure.

Comments

[powerofmabel]

"Definitely a ten. Dipper and Wirt haven't so much as talked since the Good Place made them soulmates." She shoves past him with as much force as a tiny girl armed with a sweater and a mission can, all in the name of pacing his room so she can have privacy. "I knew it! I knew there was something going on between those two, and now they're just being big dumb dorks about it."

[teamfun]

He steps aside for her- he knows better than to get in the way of tiny girls. Tiny girls kick the most ass- he knows from many and varied personal experiences. He tilts his head as a few key pieces suddenly fall solidly into place.

"Oh motherfucker, it was Dipper."

Of course, it made sense now- with how Dipper was in the last event. Of course.

"Soooooo I'm guessing that means that Dipper is over-analysing everything and Wirt has gone into an anxiety spiral and that's just where we're at now?"

[powerofmabel]

She ignores the cursing, continuing to pace like she will destroy his carpet with the intensity of her Mary Janes. "Basically! Ugh. I should've figured this out before now. I kept thinking Wirt was still hung up on his bird girlfriend. I didn't even think about their obvious chemistry. I could have been pushing them way before everything exploded."

She finally stops pacing. "We gotta force them to make a move."

[teamfun]

Sorry, Mabel, all the kids in his school swear like sailors, he forgets not all kids are like that. He watches her pace, considering maybe putting some like... pillows down or something, but then decides against it.

"Okay. I'm putting a pin in that bird girlfriend thing because we gotta come back to that one day."

Because Wirt didn't mention any girlfriends, much less bird ones. He knows Wirt is kinda weird, but wow, dude. Wow. Whatever floats your boat, he guesses. But there are more important things at hand. Specifically getting these two nerds together before the coming of the second ice age.

"Oh yeah, for sure. There's no way in hell they're gonna do it by themselves," he taps his chin in thought. "I mean there's always a classic of locking them in a closet together. But they'd probably have a collective panic attack and it's probably not a good idea to lock them in the Wonderland closets anyway."

[powerofmabel]

She could be a good friend and explain that Beatrice isn't really a bird, but she is zeroed in on Operation... Wipper? Dirt? Dippirt? Dippirt's good. Portmanteau ship names are serious business.

"Yeah, that was my first choice too, but the last time I tried that with Dipper and his crush, they got attacked by a creepy shapeshifter, so I'm kinda off the whole 'trapped in a closet" shtick."

Boy the twins lead colorful lives. "I'm thinking something bolder. Like the roof. Wide open spaces, but if they wanna escape they're gonna have to jump, and even Wirt wouldn't do that."

What a stupid waste of a death that would be.

[teamfun]

Louis would unabashedly vote for Dippirt. It's clearly the best choice here. He folds his arms, tilting his head slowly to the left as he mulls over Mabel's answer.

"You know, you got a point. We can't trust Wonderland not to try and turn this into a surprise murder or whatever."

Because Wonderland is a spiteful little bitch of a place that ruins everything fun forever.

"I'm really digging the roof idea. We could even spell out 'kiss you fucking losers' out on the courtyard or something. You know. For a nudge."

[powerofmabel]

"Schyeah, they're pretty dumb about these things. They might need to have it spelled out for them."

She resumes pacing. "Now how do we get them on the roof? We should each take one and lure them there separately, but we need something bold enough to draw their interest."

[teamfun]

"They will absolutely need to have it spelled out for them."

Louis has no place to talk- he was surprised Clementine told him she had a crush on him directly after she literally carved a heart around their initials. He's just as hopeless.

"I could figure something out to get Wirt up there, and if not, I'm totally okay with just picking him up and carrying him there."

[powerofmabel]

"Then that leaves me to work on my brother." She steeples her fingers and her expression takes on a quality that one might call 'evil.' Or at least highly Stan Pines-esque.

"And then..." She giggles diabolically. "Match. Made."

She's probably imagining herself with creepy music and heart-shaped lightning and cupids with Terminator glasses in the background, which is great in theory, but for Louis just looks unnerving.

[teamfun]

That is deeply, deeply unsettling and Louis comes from a deeply unsettling life. Deeply unsettling is part of his regular day-to-day but right now, he's deeply unsettled. He stares at her for a moment, his eyebrows raising slightly as he realises the crazy train hasn't left the station just yet.

"I genuinely fear for the day you decide to use your powers for evil and I hope when that day comes, you'll remember me kindly."

[powerofmabel]

Mabel gives him an affectionate pat on the shoulder as she heads for his door. "Don't worry, Louis. I'm a good and just leader of the free world. I'd never fall to the dark side."

If that doesn't sound reassuring, it's because Mabel likes being a creep. The fact that she skips out after saying it says everything. After a second, she calls back: "To Wirt's room! I'll hide in the hall to make sure everything goes smoothly, and then it's off to fetch Dipper."

[teamfun]

"See, you say that, but there's some pretty solid evidence to the contrary."

Still, he'll follow her, because they still have a job that needs to be done, and he can save his concern for her (likely inevitable) plummet to darkness for another time.

"To Wirt's room! Let's get this romance rolling before we're all like eighty-year-olds in teenager bodies."