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Who: ~~Azure~~ Beast Boy and Azure Kite
Where: Their room
When: After BB crashes
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Beast Boy is cursed, is now a psuedo Azure Knight, and is currently having a major malfunction. Kite fails at fixing things. The world lols.
the Story:

There really was no end to his bad luck, was there?

Being normal for a week was hardly bad. He'd always dreamed of what it would be like to be his normal self again, and finding that he actually preferred his green super hero self, he actually felt a lot more content with life. That was until Kite decided to "fix" him again. Now he was Bebo of the Azure... something. He couldn't exactly come up with a clever title for himself. Okay, so the whole connecting his mind to the internet thing was pretty awesome, and floating wasn't too bad either! And at least his voice was almost back to normal now. Malfunctioning was a different story.

Apparently it's not a bright idea to go around Data Draining everything in sight. Apparently. But this totally wasn't his fault! He had no clue what made Kite tick, how was he supposed to know what to do and what not to do?! Beast Boy, as computer-savvy as he may be, didn't always think about the consequences of his actions.

Okay, think Beast Boy, think. Remember long ago when he first met Kite, when BB accidentally broke him. What helped him get back to normal...?

Beast Boy glanced at the bottle of nose spray thrown into one of the many piles of random junk on his corner of the room.

"Aaaahhh. Didn't this work last ti-- OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW"

Oh that's right. Kite screamed in pain when he did that. Whoops. The green AI clutched his face in agony, sparks and static flying off his body every couple of seconds. Small tears pooled in the corner of his eyes from the pain and frustration and maybe just a little bit of fear. He wanted to be himself again, he didn't want any of this...

Something flashed behind his eyes. A blue screen...?

"Aw cra--" WHUMP aaaand Beast Boy was down for the count.

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Kite wasn't incredibly surprised that Beast Boy crashed himself. The hero wasn't used to the functions Kite had, and he hadn't exactly been good at fixing the AI when he was damaged. That, and Beast Boy was cursed. This was his main point.

But that aside, Kite was just worried about the after effects of the crash. Excessive use of Data Drain corrupted the user's files, it could have any number of effects--stat loss, experience loss, consciousness loss, death... The good news was, it was impossible at this stage for the latter effect to take place, but with his friend's unfamiliar physiology anything could happen.

Kite made his usual dramatic arrival, flames shooting off all around him as he landed in the center of the room. Beast Boy lay on the floor, unresponsive. Rebooting, probably. Kite sighed.

"I'll get it right this time," he muttered, kneeling down beside the pseudo!Azure. "BlackRose was right, Kite would know what to do. I'm a lot like him, so maybe I'll know what to do, too."

He stood back up and brought out his bracelet, performing a quick scan of Beast Boy's files. Fortunately, the problem had been an infection of Kite's own files in Beast Boy, so the problem was easy to locate. Now, the tricky part...

"Beast Boy, if you don't make it, I take full responsibility," he stated, his bracelet charging. "And, ahh... I'll buy you ice cream!" He had no idea if his boyfriend could even hear him yet, and ice cream was kind of a lame way to make up for killing your friend, but he would keep his word anyway. Hopefully he wouldn't have to keep his word.

So with a deep breath, he shot off one last Data Drain, targeting the files that matched his own. It took a moment to break his protection--at least he had protection now, maybe it would be better if he left that particular function behind--but Kite easily tore through Beast Boy's data, carefully extracting his files from the boy. His skin unraveled again, stitches and plumes of flame lifting up from his body, leaving only scarred green behind. Kite felt the other's mind disconnect from the network, and soon enough his AI signal was cleared from the mansion. The data stream closed and Kite's bracelet retracted.

Now he just had to hope Beast Boy didn't suffer too much damage from his mistake.

What Kite didn't know was that Beast Boy could hear him... sort of. His mind registered the words, but his body was too preoccupied to summon any sort of emotion files to properly react. If he wasn't so busy rebooting, the files that would probably be active would be OHGOD.ex and It better be the best ice cream ever created to make up for all this.rar.

And then once again Kite was Data Draining him. This time, though, he couldn't even scream. The one thing he learned from this whole mess was to never let Kite get near him with Data Drain again.

The last bits of foreign data ebbed away, and Beast Boy groaned. It felt like all of Titans East pummeled his brains into mush. Well this was just dandy. But... he could feel his heart beating, and the odd sensation of being connected to the internet at all times was totally gone! He reached up to experimentally touch his ears. Yep, definitely still pointy. He took a deep breath. Everything seemed to be normal again.

Well, mostly. Beast Boy didn't exactly notice the pink orb floating above his head. (Whatever, it would probably wear off eventually anyway, right?)

The green hero smiled up at the AI. "I still want my ice cream you know. Strawberry tofu ice cream, make it happen!"

He didn't exactly notice that he'd scooted over to Kite pretty close. Like, awkwardly close. He actually felt a little warm and fuzzy and just a tad awkward at the moment and didn't know why, but oh well.

Kite sighed with relief. Good, Beast Boy was okay. He seemed undamaged, if the ice cream comment meant anything, and--

Wait a minute, what was that giant pink thing over his head for?

"Uhh... sure?" Things were starting to get weird now. He scratched his neck sheepishly. "Beast Boy... Are you feeling alright?" He was pretty sure it was a status effect. At least it would only be temporary?

Beast Boy just kept on smiling. There was a basic situation going on that BB could properly sum up (if he actually what was going on, anyway) using a term he learned from one of his games:

KITE used Attract!

No, there wasn't a single day of Beast Boy's life where weird shit couldn't happen to him. Now he was no better than Starfire and Raven had been around Aqualad. Well, a little better. He wasn't throwing himself at Kite and didn't have tiny metaphorical hearts floating above his head. (Anyone is free to imagine there are, though!)

This had all just been one hectic week. First he got sick, then his powers were taken, then Axel disappeared, then he got turned into a freaky computer zombie boy thing. It's not as though anything else back home would have been any saner, but even so, he was having trouble wrapping his mind around everything. Whatever the stupid pink thing was, it was making him feel weird and as though all he really wanted was to be near Kite or Terra or Linda. Well, one of the above was currently on hand, and quite frankly, Beast Boy was just a tad overwhelmed with the amount of craziness in such a short period of time. He was just going to go with the flow and deal with all the consequences later. If anyone asks, he could always blame a computer virus. (Not like Cyborg was around to correct anyone anyway!)

Beast Boy stood up, moving to stand even closer to Kite. He threw his arms around the other boy's shoulders, shooting him a goofy grin. "Feeling juuuuust fine."

He stood on his tip toes, lips inches away from Kite's. No need to worry. No one would see him (except maybe Linda, but that might only make things better), and it's not as though Kite could really tell if how hard he was failing at be suave. (Also he'd been watching TV all week and was pretty damn sick of seeing everyone but him get any sort of action. To hell with dignity, he was almost sixteen and never had any luck with any of the girls he hit on, so seeing every other teenager in existence getting laid was kind of frustrating.) He leaned in just a little further and laughed lightly.

"It's like you fell out of the cute tree and hit every branch on the way down~"

Quite possibly the dumbest pick up line on earth, but 'Nice shoes, wanna fuck?' might have been a little too straight forward.

"Beast Boy, you are not just fine, there's a giant heart floating over your head!" Kite sighed. Charmed status made for awkward times.

"Guess I should be flattered, but..." He tugged on his earflaps, turning away a little. He would be all for the impending makeout session if it wasn't for the fact that Beast Boy wasn't really in control of himself at the moment. Curse this moral dilemma! Would it be alright to go along with it, or to wait until the other boy was a little more sane? Would Beast Boy make the same decision if he was? Would he be more upset if Kite declined?

Then he realized his tongue was already halfway down the shapeshifter's throat. When the hell did that happen? Well, so much for morals.

Well it certainly take Kite long to reach a decision on what was and wasn't right. Though if Beast Boy could answer his questions, they would be: no, yes with even worse pick up lines and much more awkward, and he'd have gotten over it.

He'd feel the full weight of his actions later. For now, there was just enough of the semi-sane Beast Boy to have a vaguely coherent thought stream. At the moment it was mostly repeats of Oh my god he's sucking on my tongue. Must. Keep. Thoughts strai-- oh whatever I give up.

The hero let out a small, breathy moan, hands fumbling to reach under Kite's shirts. (And failing miserably; just where the hell did the shirt end and the skin begin?!) Just to be obnoxious, he smiled against the other boys' lips and starting making thrusting motions with his own tongue. Thank yoooou daytime soap operas and your many lessons on making out.

Kite would wonder later how all their encounters seemed to lead to some form of boytouching. At the moment, it really didn't matter. His jacket was hastily removed and undershirt all but torn off. Maybe this time they'd actually finish 'playing Uno' or whatever it was. Third time's the charm?

He tried to pull Beast boy onto the bed but missed horribly, knocking over a chair in the process, so the floor would have to do. This time, things would go perfectly. No setting anyone on fire, no interruptions, nothing. This time they would finish what they started the day Beast Boy came back from the dead.

Which... Kite still wasn't quite sure what it was, but it seemed to require them to be naked and might involve cards. The AI assumed it was worth it, though, because Beast Boy was as determined as he was to do it. He'd just have to wait and find out.

For the record: making out on the floor wasn't as passionate and glorious as he thought it would be. He didn't mind the floor part exactly--he'd slept on the floor before, and he was as comfortable as any domestic animal on it--but it was everything on the floor that was bothering him. Namely, all of his random stuff thrown about the room. As some of his clothing mysteriously disappeared, he did his best to focus on Kite and not on the plush smiley... thing digging into his back. (To make things even worse, it even laughed this crazy creepy Joker laugh. Beast Boy angrily morphed his hand to be more claw-like, tore that fucker apart, and went right back to kissing.)

The pink orb above his head was fading a little, but he only paused to gasp for air. He bucked his hips, hands fumbling to grasp anything they could. Kite's shoulders just happened to be in reach. He pulled away slightly, panting and eyes half lidded. "Kite..."

He paused again. Laughed a little. So it wasn't the most romantic thing on earth to make out on the floor next to an empty fish tank with a keyboard in it (why it existed in the first place is anyone's guess), but he still felt damn good about everything at the moment. A green hand trailed down Kite's check, stopping just above the belt line.

For Kite, the floor was no problem at all. He was used to the arms-getting-ripped-off kind of pain, so a few pointy objects in his side were only a slight irritation. He rolled over his hat a few times, discarding his gloves and boots and hurling them to one side.

The status effect was starting to wear off now. The Azure hid a frown--well, soon he would find out whether or not this was a good idea. Whatever the case, he didn't regret it.

There was a pause, Beast boy staring into his eyes. "Nnnn, next time you get sick, I'll get Simon" Kite mumbled, "But only if we can do this again." He smiled, hand holding the back of the shapeshifter's head.

Even if Beast Boy was cursed, he wouldn't want to be with anyone else right now... If Kite exploded because of that, it would still have been worth it.

"Agreed." Next time Kite ever offered medical assistance, Beast Boy was just going to go ahead and jump off a bridge and forego all the hassle.

The hero attempted to wriggle out of his shoes and pants, tilting his head back in the process--"Uuuuuh why is there a glowy thing on my head? I'm not in some weirdo version of The Sims, am I?"--before deciding he really didn't care as long as he still got to make out with Kite.

And then, somewhere between being stabbed in the back by a Optimus Prime figure and almost slipping his hand down Kite's pants for Attempt #2 at not being the only virgin in his family, he remembered something. He licked Kite's jawline just below the ear. "Is the door locked?"

Never again could he forget that. Nearly dying of embarassment once was enough, thank you very much. And goddammit he wanted to finish his game of "Uno"!

"Ah... it's nothing," Kite offered with a shrug. He didn't want to spoil the moment by explaining how the charm status was affecting his mind. That might end badly.

As for the door being locked, Kite couldn't really remember. Instead of going to all the trouble of getting up and locking it, though, he settled for a quicker solution--he shot a fireball at the door, melting the doorknob into a mass of unmoving metal. It definitely wasn't going to open now. the AI grinned proudly. "Better?" With that out of the way, it was time to get back to that 'Uno'ing.

But Kite failed to remember that the door was made of wood.

Oh son of a bitch.

Now their room was on fire. As flames shot up the doorframe, Beast Boy glared up at Kite. "Kite. You were so close to hitting third again. I WAS. SO CLOSE. TO GETTING LAID." Sexual frustration was the worst thing ever. Even worse than your room being on fire. Oh, wait. He should do something about that.

He threw his fishtank at the fire. Too bad there was only a keyboard in it. Now there was bits of glass and electronics everywhere in a room that was on fire.

He wheeled around, grabbed Kite by the shoulders, and started shaking him like a madman. "WE ARE GOING TO FUCKING FUCK SOME DAY WITH OUT ANYTHING EXPLODING OR CATCHING ON FIRE. GOT IT?" Obviously hanging around Max was having a bad influence on his choice of vocabulary, but at the moment he really didn't care. Goddammit he was cursed!

This didn't solve the fact that their room was on fire.

Edited 2008-07-19 03:09 (UTC)

It took Kite a moment to realize he just set the room on fire. If it were possible, he was have paled considerably.

"A-ahh! I'm sorry!" he shouted. Jumping to his feet, he waved his arms at the flames as if that would somehow help. Of course, it didn't, all it did was make it spread faster. Controlling fire was a lot easier when you were trying to burn things.

Beast Boy shaking him helped the AI gather his senses a little, but the room was still on fire. this wasn't all that bad for Kite, since his insides were already on fire, but he knew fire wasn't good for Beast Boy, and probably most of the other mansion residents. "Um... ummm..." Kite fumbled to think of something.

"...Jump out the window!" This was Kite's genius plan. At least they were only on the first floor. They could worry about the spreading flames as soon as Beast Boy was out of harm's way.

Beast Boy was too busy being angry at his luck to really consider Kite's plan. In retrospect, that would probably have been the safer (and hilarious) solution. At the moment though, he was beyond angry.

He shot another glare at Kite before, for once, actually proved his heroic training. He morphed into an ankylosaurus and WHAM. There went the firey door. Bits of flaming timber scattered about the hallways, some of which dwindled into glowing embers. Of course this meant that nearly and entire wall was gone, but at least the fire wasn't going to spread to the rest of the room. Morphing back, Beast Boy stormed angrily through the gaping doorway. The mansion would fix itself, so he didn't have to care about it at the moment. He didn't exactly pay attention to the fact that he was still in his underwear, but as long as no one pointed it out, everything would be cool.

Kite had to jump back a little as Beast Boy destroyed half the wall, successfully eliminating the fire in the process. The AI sighed with relief and was about to thank the other boy for fixing the problem when he noticed Beast Boy was leaving.

"Ah, wait a minute!" Kite floated after him, also ignoring the fact that they were both almost completely naked (again, though this time around Kite managed to keep his pants on before something horrible happened). "I'm sorry about the door, I didn't think it would burn so easily..." He blushed a little. Now that he thought about it, it was a pretty stupid mistake. Maybe he had been just a little too caught up in the moment.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise," the Azure Knight offered. He already owed Beast Boy enough for breaking his brain. Ice cream probably wasn't going to cut it now.

Beast Boy turned around, arms folded across his chest in sheer irritation. "That's what wood does, Kite. It burns. WHY ELSE WOULD SMOKY THE BEAR HAVE ALL THOSE COMMERCIALS IF IT DIDN'T?!"

He huffed angrily. Now he was just being stubborn. Sure he was frustrated, but it honestly wasn't a huge deal. He could, no, should have let go of his petty anger, just forgiven the fact that Kite was just as capable (if not more, considering his lack of experience with life in general, much less life as an almost-human) of making mistakes as he was. Buuuuut no. Likelihood was Beast Boy would stew in his frustration and whine and complain for a good couple of days, then possibly bring up this entire incident when he and Kite ever had another fight. Weird how he could stay upset at a broken door and could forgive being shanked. Well, no one was perfect, and BB was certainly no exception. At least he had some redeeming qualities.

"Yeah? How?"

Edited 2008-07-19 19:08 (UTC)

"I don't know! Didn't think it would be that bad..." He floated ahead of Beast Boy, crossing in front of him in hopes of getting the hero to stop. Kite also gave him his best 'I'm sorry' look, which was hopefully a little better than his smile.

He paused awkwardly for a moment, trying to think of something good to say. Ice cream wouldn't do... so what would? "Ahhh, well..." the AI mumbled vaguely. "I'll... make it up to you? "

Beast Boy did his best to hold his glare in place, even with Kite giving him that pitiful look. To anyone else it may have looked a little crazy and terrifying, but to him it was sort of heart breaking. He was just stubborn enough to be able to keep a grudge. Still, most of his immediate anger dissipated into simple irritation. The shape shifter sighed, ears lowering and eyes averted in annoyance.

"Yeah? Well when you think of something, lemme know," he muttered.

He continued to pout, but didn't shove past Kite to get... wherever he was going. Maybe Roxas could lend him some clothes or something, but then again he didn't really wanna risk walking in on him and--

...And then he remembered. Beast Boy sighed again, uncrossing his arms and scratching the back of his head. "Man, this week sucks. First Axel disappears, now this." His voice was surprisingly neutral. He must've just gotten used to that panging feeling in his heart every time he though of his missing idol, let alone when he thought about how Roxas must feel about the entire situation. It wasn't impossible to stay positive, but sometimes...

Beast Boy glanced around, padding down the hall to the nearest barred window. When was the last time he ever looked in one of these? The only time that stood out was when River left, when Simon showed him Serenity and everyone aboard it. If anything, every glance at the windows only made him more determined to find a way to connect the worlds. Hadn't Sora said he'd done that...? Well, there was a way, and he was going to find it. He stole a quick glance at Kite. Yup. Even if the guy had chips-for-brains and lit things on fire all the time and they didn't always see eye to eye, he'd definitely find a way to get back to him, even if he had to walk across the universe on his own. (It'd be cold, but he'd have a coat! Orrrr maybe he could try changing into a Tamaranean...)

BB looked back into the window. Distantly, he wondered what Kite saw whenever he looked into one of these things. He didn't comment on what he saw as his eyes grew focused on the world beyond. Instead, he kept his voice even, and simply said, "I don't want anything else to change."

"Mmhmm," Kite mumbled. He would think of something good, and he would make it up to Beast Boy for sure. The mentioning of Axel only made him feel like he owed him more. The shapeshifter was already have a pretty rough week, maybe Kite could do something to turn it around.

The windows. Kite rarely looked through them anymore. He couldn't trust something that didn't register under his sensors. As far as he knew it was just a flat image projected from the other side, just another illusion. He kept trying to tell himself he didn't miss home, but he couldn't bring himself to look through that barred window.

Kite looked at Beast Boy instead.

"You can't control everything. Things will always change, even if you don't want them to," the AI replied, running a finger along one of his stitches. "But if we had that choice, would we even be here? Would we have even met?" He frowned, picking at his wrist. ""

"...Point taken." Truthfully, Beast Boy was very homesick. He tried not to think about it much, just to live in the moment and let whatever happened happen. There was a lot of things he tried not to think about, and most of the time he was successful. Thankfully, now was one of those times, and he pushed back all his doubts and sadness and stayed focused on the conversation at hand.

"Things change, and I know it's not always bad, but ya can't blame a guy for liking what he's got," he said. "I think I've changed too. Dunno if that's good or bad, but it is. For one you're a boy and so am I. That's pretty different. And weird. Dunno if it's bad, though. You've changed too. Heh, not exactly for the worst, either; having a shred of self confidence definitely isn't bad. No one really knows what the future will be like, not even Warp, so I guess it's best to go with the flow. Or something. Friends forever seems to workin' out really well so far. ...Augh, my brain hurts from thinking so much!"

Sadly, that was the truth too. Not the entire truth, but he was starting to feel like his head was burning from all his intense thinking. No wonder he tried to avoid it as much as possible. Instead of trying to make sense of all his jumbled thoughts, he just cocked his head towards Kite. He also had to remind himself that he was still mad, but he'd have time for more of that later. The hero shot the other boy a cocky smile, unconsciously putting a hand on his hip.

"And you know you would be totally lost without me. Admit it: you're avoiding at that window cuz of my hot bod, riiiight~? ...Aw man. Where'd my pants go?!"

He blushed, quickly glancing down the halls for anyone who might see them. Nope, no one yet. Still safe.

Kite nodded. "Nnn, couldn't even speak before I came here. Never even interacted with users beyond elimination of AIDA. If it wasn't for this place, I wouldn't have changed at all..." He paused, then added a thoughtful, "Ah, don't know how much I've done for you, but at least you won't die of appendicitis?"

He stopped picking at his stitches, glancing briefly out the window. How much had he really done for Beast Boy, or for anyone here? He liked being helpful, and he really did try, but Kite alwaays felt like his help wasn't doing much. Maybe he just had to try harder. It was raining on the other side. A big grassy field with a boss monster at the end. He thought he saw a glowing orb drift by, but maybe it was just his 'imagination'. If it wasn't, he bet it was Orca. Balmung didn't like getting his wings wet.

The AI turned away, chuckling at the hero. "Right. Ah, I think they're still in our room." He pointed back down the hallways, bits of smoldered door still visible from where they stood.

Edited 2008-07-22 19:26 (UTC)

Note to self: always remember to check for pants before leaving the room. Beast Boy immediately crossed his arms again self-consciously. Just to be double-triple sure, he looked down the halls again to make sure no one could see him or hear anything sappy he was about to say. He shuffled his feet anxiously before looking up at Kite. "Er, you know. You've done a lot for me. You were like, one of my first friends here, did a bunch of fun and weird shit with me like the whole drunken singing thing, pretty much dug me out of bad times whenever I was caught up blaming myself for everything that happened to Terra. You'll go along with my ideas about giving ya a childhood and whatever else pops into my head at the time. After everything we've been through..." He shrugged, shuffled again, glance away. "I dunno. I guess it just didn't matter to me whether you were a boy or not cuz you actually made me feel needed and... just made me feel like I was worthwhile. That's a part of bein' in love, right? Felt that way with Terra too, anyway. And the way I reason it, kissing you is kinda like kissing a really flat chested girl er, with a dick and you're really good at it so it's a little like having a best friend you make out sometimes. But, uh, other than that. You just make me really happy about everything even when it seems like it's gonna be the end of the world again. So... yeah. You've done a lot for me by just being a great friend and loving me."

Practically spilling his guts better not make him the girl in this relationship. He'd seen enough prison movies (and sent enough criminals to prison) to appreciate not being such. (Too bad for BB that he was pretty much the girl in any relationship, even with Linda and Terra. Sucks to be him.) He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, blushing and looking back up into Kite's eyes with a small scowl.

"Tell anyone I said all this and I'll like, glue you to a refrigerator or something. ...And Simon or Cyborg could've taken out my appendix without all this trouble!" Nope, he really wasn't going to let it go.

He didn't want to turn around and look into the window on the off chance his friends had heard his blabbering. Cyborg would probably be laughing, Starfire no doubt would be squealing and plotting to turn him into the next subject of 'Queer Eye', and Robin... well, Robin probably either wouldn't care or just have his brain broken. Starfire's reaction somehow seemed the most horrifying. (God forbid the window was showing his home with the Doom Patrol. Rita, Larry, and Cliff would probably be cool, but Steve? Beast Boy didn't even want to know what he'd think.)

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