entrancelogs | The Polish-Lithuanian-Pakistani Accord [Closed]

Entry tags:

The Polish-Lithuanian-Pakistani Accord [Closed]

Who: Pakistan (

reckless_eagle).
Where In the gardens.
When: Near the beginning of the fairy wings curse.
Rating: PG-ish?
Summary: The Poland <-> Lithuania <-> Pakistan love triangle is out in the open now, and it's high time they all ~~held a summit to discuss their respective national interests~~ talked it out. Like grown-ups, ideally, but with Poland and Pakistan involved, that seems a bit overly optimistic.
the Story:

Poland tried to school his expression to seem calm and dignified, something like the expressions Lithuania and his bosses always wore when they were trying to be taken seriously and stuff. He thought he might kind of have it, by the time he flew down to the gardens to meet up with Liet and Pakistan.

Well, maybe.

Sort of.

All right, so dignified wasn't really his strong suit, but he at least didn't look quite as nervous as he felt! Actually, looking that nervous and awkward would have been a real feat, considering that he was pretty sure that the butterflies in his stomach had bigger wings than the ones on his own back at that point. Those wings fluttered, like fidgeting that he couldn't quite figure out how to control as he sat, leaned back on his hands amidst the luminous flowers, and waited for the other two nations to show up.

He hoped they wouldn't take long. Being in suspense sucked hard, and whatever was going to happen, he'd much rather get it over with and get back to his life sooner rather than later.

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"Oh, my God," Poland muttered, crushing the flower stem in his hand inadvertently. "Are we like, gonna start this conversation with you blaming yourself for stuff that's not your fault?"

He didn't figure that they were going to be able to avoid that, not in this discussion, but that always rubbed him the wrong way. Calming down, he started weaving his little pile of flowers together. "...Anyway, whatever, I guess. Catch your breath."

She gave Poland a sharp look. "Do you really have to do that? It's hard enough on him without you saying things that put him down."

She made a face, and muttered, "Sorry." She had intended to do her best not to bicker with Poland, but some of the things he was apt to say just bothered her.

He shook his head slowly, trying to calm them down, to calm himself down. "I'll try. I just..." he leans against the tree and looks up at them. "I don't know what to do. I really, really like both of you, I don't want to hurt you, but no matter what I do, it will only become worse."

Her tone made Poland bristle... So much for all being civil. What was her deal? He just didn't like to see Liet all mad at himself...

"Well," he said, ignoring her and focusing on Liet instead, "you like, know this pretty much comes down to you. Much as I'd love to be able to pick for you, it's kinda not my place or hers to do that, right?"

She also disliked seeing Lithuania like this, but she nodded her agreement.

"It's up to you," she added quietly.

He went over all the reasons and things that he had gathered again. He didn't want to loose either of them, he liked both of them equally much, and didn't want to see either of them sad. Both of them would get over it eventually, he supposed, and... "No matter what I decide, we would still be able to stay friends?"

Ah. Straight to the least comfortable place this conversation could go... the least possible one Poland could imagine for it, at least. "In case I didn't say so earlier, I'm like, gonna love you no matter what. That wouldn't change even if you hated me. But if you picked her... I don't know. I'd still care and all, but it'd be seriously hard to be around you."

Hard enough that he'd probably have to move out, wasn't sure how long it would take him to feel ready to speak to Liet normally again, and frankly wasn't even sure how long it would take him to want to talk to anyone again... But he didn't want to coerce Liet by saying so. Liet always wanted to make people happy, and he didn't want to use that against him when this was so important. Still, he was unable to hide his emotions completely. His wings seemed to droop a little, and he ducked his face to the side, letting his hair shield his expression.

His heart ached. Was it supposed to twist inside him like that?

Pakistan looked up at Poland and frowned slightly. Not at him, though. Based on the things he'd said and on what she'd seen of his behavior, he felt much more deeply about Lithuania than she did. Or at least, he had felt that way much longer. He knew Lithuania in ways she didn't and maybe couldn't just because of the time she was from and the things she believed in.

Even if she and Poland didn't get along well most of the time, if Lithuania were to choose her over him, she wasn't sure she could live with herself.

She bowed her head. "Of course we'll still be friends. As long as we're both here."

It would have been easier if he hadn't known Poland that well, and if he had known Pakistan better. But he did, and didn't, and now he had to decide...

Poland would probably much harder to calm down, to be with, should he not decide in his favor. Pakistan would be the appropriate choice, the one that he should rightfully choose even if everyone here seemed to think differently about it. Poland was the one who made his body act funny, while Pakistan was the one who made him feel this fluttery warmth inside. Poland felt warm, too, but they had known each other for longer, had been friends... it was different.

He knew that in the end, his decision would not make him instantly happy, but... He had to decide the way that would be the best for all people involved. That would endanger everyone the least, too.

"Can ...could the two of you promise that you will try to get along? I will do my best, too." It hurt to know that there was so much bad blood between them

He didn't look up. "I'll try," he said simply. It wasn't a full guarantee, but it was about as good as it was going to get, coming from Poland.

The longer the conversation went, the more sick and nervous he felt. He should never have said anything. He should have just been quiet, should have hidden it better, and now--it wasn't like this was going to change anything. Not in his favor, at least. There simply wasn't any way Liet would actually pick him, so the end result was bound to be the same as it had been before. Except it would hurt more, because he'd know for a fact that Liet wouldn't want to choose him, and he knew his own shortcomings, his own jealousy and neediness, enough to know that that could... it could sour relations. Make bilateral communications difficult, and stuff. As a nation, he stood to lose his closest ally and a solid, reliable trading partner.

And as a person, he stood to lose the best friend he'd ever had and was ever likely to. He... He should never have said anything. And this whole line of thought was making it hard not to cringe openly in front of the others.

Edited 2010-05-02 14:52 (UTC)

Pakistan just nodded. There were times when she didn't like the things Poland did and said, but she would try. Because Poland really was a decent nation and he meant a lot to Lithuania.

He couldn't ask more than that they'd try. While his inner list of things that made Poland and that made Pakistan the better choice (you can't be with someone of another religion, and many more) he stared at the ground hands clutched into fists, hard enough that his knuckles showed white under the skin and his fingernails dug deep enough to draw blood.

But the most important was the two of them, as people, not any rules or himself, even if he should better not tell them that. And... He knew Poland. And while he doubted that the blond would ever give up, be completely crushed, he also knew that he wasn't very stable when it came to interactions with others. And while he had made friends here... Pakistan had Afghanistan, and she was outgoing enough to most likely get over it better. He hated to make her sad at all, but... He trusted her to get over it better.

"I'm sorry, I..." He shook his head, helplessly, the words coming pressed and nearly too low to be heard. "I'm sorry, Pakistan."

Poland blinked. He hadn't thought... somehow that seemed far too easy. He glanced to Pakistan, as if afraid she was about to explode.

She'd been expecting that, so while Lithuania's decision wasn't a shock, it was still painful, in the way Papa or Bengal or Afghan leaving had been painful. That hollow, twisting loneliness was remarkably familiar to her, but she hadn't expected to experience it in a place where no one could really leave by choice.

She nodded, looking at the ground. She couldn't say anything, afraid that if she tried she would either cry or yell, and she didn't want to do either. Not in front of anyone anyway.

He wanted to walk over to her and hug her so badly, wanted to say something, but... both would have been shallow, not the right thing to do. He hated to see her like this just as much as he would have hated to see Poland in this situation. And he could impossibly tell her or anyone that he had mainly decided against her because she'd better manage to get over it.

So he just stood there, swallowing hard, trying to not look away but not managing to keep his eyes on her. He'll ignore Poland for now ...if he doesn't lose both of them in this, they'll have a lot of time later on.

"I'm sorry. It..." No, don't say anything. It would only come out wrong.

She shook her head. "...I understand."

Some of it, anyway. She couldn't guess at all of his reasons for this, but she could understand some of them.

"I'll just go. I should check on Afghan. See if she's doing okay with wings." She edged away, a little guilty at using Afghan's clumsiness as an excuse to escape but...it was a legitimate concern in all honesty.

He understood her leave, and though it made him feel even worse, he knew that it was maybe for the better - they all needed some time to themselves now. Or at least Pakistan did, Poland... he wasn't sure. He wasn't even sure what he himself wanted.

"I'm sorry." He shifted, trying to sound normal but failing. "I hope she is doing alright."

"I'm sure she'll be fine. She usually is. But I should check anyway." To her credit, her voice only shook a little.

"I'll see you two...later. I'll see you later." She flicked her wings open and lifted off the ground. With the elytra on her back, it was easier to fly than to walk. She waved weakly and fled back toward the mansion.

Poland watched her go, not sure what to say. Should he say anything at all? Truth be told, he was still caught off guard by what had just happened. He'd expected Liet to go for the more appropriate choice, and he certainly wasn't it...

As Pakistan disappeared into the mansion, he glanced sideways at his friend. Was this really what Lithuania wanted? He wanted to be together, sure... wanted it much more than he should, probably. But had Liet done what would make him happy?

He wanted to ask, but he didn't. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. Wings fluttering nervously, he shifted his weight and tried to think of a way to break the silence.

Lithuania sighed, realizing only now that he had held his breath. It was done. Everyone had told him to decide, pressed him to make a decision as soon as possible, no matter what the outcome.

And now that he had, he couldn't feel the relief that he probably should have felt. Was this really the right thing to do? He could had tried to just go back to normal with Poland. It might have been safer, and courting a female was surely much more appropriate than ...this.

But now he had hurt Pakistan worse than he would ever want to hit anyone, especially not someone he cared about this much. And he had brought this whole mess with Poland to a point of no return.

He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly before he opened them again to look back at Poland.

Point of no return. That wasn't necessarily bad. He tried a smile, which worked out rather well. "We should pick up some bread form the kitchen on our way back up to our room. I think we're out of it."

Lithuania's smile was always reassuring to see--it felt like as long as Liet could keep smiling, they could work everything else out, come what may. He smiled back, his wings settling down a little.

"Yeah, I totally had the last of it for breakfast. We should like, grab some cheese and fruit, too, in case we're running low!" Just like Lithuania, to find something normal to talk about. Thank God for him.

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The Polish-Lithuanian-Pakistani Accord [Closed]

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I'm gonna make a post for Paku now, but of course we should continue the log to its conclusion

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