entrancelogs | I don't like the drugs

Entry tags:

I don't like the drugs

Who: Subject Delta, Jack Ryan.
Where Sixth floor, 009.
When: Backdated to yesterday.
Rating: PG-13?
Summary: Delta hasn't left his room in ages. Jack gets the nerve to check up on him.
the Story:

Delta's room was a shell of its former self. The small apartment was littered with various large syringes, some empty. The Alpha's tolerance to ADAM was building, which forced him to take in more for his purposes. The heightened chronic dosage was damaging him genetically and taking its toll on every system of his body.

Exhaustion set in and prompted him to collapse on the living room's couch. Lethargically he sprawled out there and listened to the music droning on from his record player. Delta finally shut his eyes and struggled to relax.

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Jack, not having been rejected by Sinclair, is somewhat heartened as he makes his way toward Delta's room. In the back of his mind is an unease--he thinks he remembers the man acting strangely, but his recollections of the last few days are blurry and distorted at best. It was probably just his imagination.

Still, he's nervous. He stands in front of the door for a while before he takes a deep breath and knocks.

Delta jumped up at the knocking sound. Oh no. Who was just dropping in? He never got visitors. Slowly he moved to stand up. He was unsteady on his feet, almost unable to walk like this. He recalled Gil, in his insanity, saying that at one point he was too spliced to stand.

Maybe he could just pretend he wasn't home. No, the record player gave that away. He still didn't want anyone to see the state of his apartment. Damnit.

Edited 2010-08-11 05:03 (UTC)

Another quiet knock.

"Johnny?"

This is what he was afraid of--or at least he thought it was what he was afraid of.

"I--I know I made a mistake, with Cohen. I lost my head, I went too far. I understand if you don't want to see me, but I made sure...I'm unarmed, and I ran myself dead out of EVE before I came."

No, it wasn't Jack's fault. If he didn't show up, Jack would think he was angry with him. Hesitantly he took a few steps towards the door and opened it. Delta made sure to try and hide the view of the inside of his room.

It was obvious something wasn't right with him, but it could be dismissed by him just waking up. He was slightly slumped over and braced himself against the doorway. An odd sort of shakiness was present in his limbs.

It could be dismissed as grogginess, but it wasn't. Jack frowns. Maybe those half-formed memories weren't just inventions of his ADAM-fevered mind after all.

"..._Johnny?"

His expression turned guilty inside his helmet. Jack's words felt distant to him. What could he do? Deny everything? He wanted to get his PDA, but it was further in his room. If he moved away, Jack would get a better look inside.

He then held up his finger as if saying one moment, and shut the door. Even the simple motion of him holding up his hand seemed strained. A few minutes later he returned with his PDA, and made sure to nudge the visible syringes under his furniture before he opened the door again.

Yes?

Despite his attempt to act natural, he couldn't see straight. Typing came out extremely slow, one letter at a time.

Jack tried, not very subtly, to look around behind Delta, all of his instincts screaming that something had gone terribly wrong. Johnny is usually free with his words, despite the inherent clumsiness of typing with enormous gloves on.

"What's going on?"

Delta wasn't like himself. His usually calm personality was replaced with one filled with anxiety due to the repeated splicing. He backs up a bit, still shaking involuntarily.

nothing. Do you need something

The needles were mostly hidden from view, but the reddish glow from the still full syringes peeked out from under his sofa. What was he to do? He didn't want to admit to Jack that he felt his mind starting to fade away.

"I just wanted to talk. I won't attack."

His eyes widened.

"You're shaking."

He just wanted to talk. All right. He just had to act natural. Delta tried to calm himself, but he felt his heart jump at his throat when Jack commented on his trembling. The Alpha took another few steps back.

i just don't feel well.

Delta looked more like a cornered animal than himself. His entire body was tense.

"What's wrong?"

Though he didn't intend the motion to be aggressive, he stepped forward, his gaze intent.

"What's going on?"

Delta held onto his communicator but put his hands up in defense. His trembles increased in intensity when Jack stepped forward. He was in a panic.

please, don't come any closer.

He turned the screen around to show Jack the words written on it.

Jack's mouth drew down with hurt and frustration.

"I'm not going to hurt you!"

i'm not afraid of you hurting me.

im afraid of hurting you.

His chest heaved with heavy breaths. Air hissed out from his clenched teeth as he tried to relax.

A step back.

"Why would you hurt me?"

My mindf is fading. I'm losing myself. i think, no, i know it's the ADAM.

He accidentally dropped the device after he showed Jack the screen. Delta panicked and scrambled to get it.

"ADAM?"

He closed his eyes for a moment, wondering if he was destined to lose everyone--including himself--to the substance.

"How much have you been taking?"

i don't know. Too much maybe. i was told to give in.

He then typed out another line of text.

i'm afraid.

Delta deleted it, albeit a bit slowly and shakily. He was terrified. The fear was unnatural paranoia, but he was also scared of hurting the people he cared about and staying like this forever.

"Why did you listen? It's going to kill you. It's going to--"

His voice cracked. Since Johnny arrived, he had come to look up to the big man. The thought of seeing him become a monster was sickening, frightening.

i had no other choice. it kkept injecting me. My body needed more.

I don't want to die like this, jack. there must be something.

He was afraid he wouldn't come back. Other people did, but maybe he would be the exception. Maybe he wouldn't be revived if he died.

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I don't like the drugs

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