Of hearts and high places. [backdated to event]

[not_a_troll]

Who: Clint Barton doesntmiss & Loki Laufeyson notatroll
Where: The roof
When: Around the 20th
Rating: PG13
Summary: After this, Loki needs to ask Clint something
The Story:

Okay, the roof wasn't that much of a good idea Loki had to admit to himself. Especially not when the only thing he really wanted to do was lay down on his bed and fall asleep. And most of the time he chose not to remember himself about the horrible things his older!self had done, most of his acts were the things that appeared in nightmares. He would not seek such things out. Never.

Still, he had messaged Clint Barton the night before, managing to cover up the heavy weight of such message with a lot of Midgardian smiley emotes.

Eventually he settled for a spot close to the edge of the mansion, watching the mist curling and thickening beneath him. Yeah, he could really use some sleep...

Comments

[doesntmiss]

That message, smiley or no, had only succeeded to put Clint on his guard. The event's circumstances didn't help, but most of all it bothered him that apparently Natasha had talked, as much as she ever did, but told the boy enough for him to draw his own conclusions. Told him about what had happened.

Needless to say he was not comfortable in the least.

Clint appeared calm enough when he climbed up to the rooftop, but his steps were silent, his movements betraying tension. Once again, he had difficulty reminding himself that this Loki was not that Loki, and hopefully never would become him. Still. The incident itself sat like a stone in Clint's gut.

"So what did you want to talk about?" The question came without preamble, without so much as a greeting, his tone calm and a bit distant. He notices, of course, that the boy looks weary. Worn out. Doesn't ask from what, and doesn't want to care.

[not_a_troll]

Loki busied himself with fiddling with his communicator to prevent himself from nodding off right on the spot. He hadn't heard Clint coming up and the man's voice behind him startled him a bit.

"Ah." Slowly he shifts into a more active way of sitting, or well, at least a position where it might look as if he was more awake. Slowly he tucked the communicator away and turned to look at Clint.

"You have told me about my grand scheme of a hostile take-over with the help of these Chitauri-beings," he started, his voice a bit slower than usual. "Ah. This is a rather difficult question. Or more a conclusion. I am aware that my older self is fond of using others as a mere pawn in a grand design. My older self has taken possession of your mind, am I right?"

[doesntmiss]

It's not like Clint can help paying attention to detail. He sees the boy asgardian's slightly sluggish motions. He sees the tiredness in his eyes and takes careful note of his voice most of all, his choice of words, his emphasis, because those are different from the Loki he's met.

As much as he appreciates the boy not trying to beat around the bush, he needs a few moments to digest the words. Looks down, looks away. Finally looks back at Loki, and when he answers, his voice is harder, more distant than it was before.

"Why do you want to know?"

[not_a_troll]

Loki looks at Clint, taking notice of the man's response. When Clint speaks again Loki already knows enough, actually.

"One has just answered my question," he replies, shifting a bit while blinking slowly. "Still, you haven't made any attempt to end my life. Are you someone who lives without grudges?"

[doesntmiss]

Clint scoffs before he can stop himself. Of course he knows by now. He's a clever kid.

"Wouldn't fix anything if I killed you, would it?" There's a sneer on his face for the barest moment. He's considered it. He's considered his anger and he's considered what he could do. Needed some distance. Still isn't sure about the results.

"You haven't answered mine though." A question that matters to him for his own reasons.

"Why did you ask?"

[not_a_troll]

Loki shrugs. "Curiosity, perhaps."

Concern? Regret? After all Ikol has told him at least more than once he was the one with more heart.

"Do not get me wrong, I do not wish to die. But I am familiar with the concept of vengeance and grudges." He chuckles in a rather bitter way. "The entire realm of Asgard and far beyond holds a grudge against me. Its not an uncommon thing."

[doesntmiss]

"No. I guess you pissed a lot of people off in your time as a grown-up." Clint refuses to feel pity for the boy, or sympathy. Refuses. It's not his business, not his problem, not even his damn world.

If he could just let this go, but... it's not that simple. Clint hasn't even sat down, still standing like he's ready to walk away at any second. At the same time, he's clearly not walking away. Maybe, he thinks, he should.

[not_a_troll]

"How is that a guess?" Loki looks at Clint, a really serious expression on his face. Of course asking such questions meant he had to talk about subjects he rather keeps to himself.

"I know I am hated by most. There hasn't been one day I have not been reminded of that."

He notices the change in Clint's stance and draws the conclusion that if the man wishes to leave, he should go. If he wishes to listen, he could do that as well.

[doesntmiss]

"I'm not gonna throw you a pity party, kid," Clint answers with a glower, his voice more sharp than he intended.

After a moment, he amends, shoulders slumping a bit, "But I don't hate you." He sighs, resigning himself to this conversation, and loses some of his tension.

[not_a_troll]

"This is no reason for festivities, not even those of a pitying kind," Loki replies before he rubs his eyes.

The second sentence kind of surprises him and for a short moment he smiles.

"I...appreciate that sentiment."

[doesntmiss]

Clint shrugs in response, and sighs before answering. "No point hating you for what happened. You're not the same guy."

He can't help noticing how tired Loki looks though. Can't quite seem to explain it, either. Sure it has him wondering, but not enough to ask.

[not_a_troll]

Loki rubs his eyes, satisfied with the answer Clint gives him. He is Loki, of course, but not that Loki.

"Indeed," he nods, voice a bit distant. For some reason it feels as if something is draining all the energy out of him. He huffs softly, rubbing his eyes more frequent.

"...It was not me."

[doesntmiss]

Clint notices, of course, how the boy rubs his eyes and yawns and huffs. But he refuses to ask, refuses to care.

"So, you got any more questions for me?" he asks instead.

[not_a_troll]

Loki shakes his head slowly.

"It is all I needed to know," he answers in a groggy tone. "Thank you."

The longer Loki sits here on the roof the more he realizes he really needs to get to his bed to have a nice, long nap. Or at least do something that would prevent any further loss of energy.