entrancelogs | There's Something Strange In Your Neighborhood

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There's Something Strange In Your Neighborhood

Who: Dave Strider and John Egbert
Where: Dave's room to start
When: Second phase of the Halloween Event
Rating: M for Dave's language
Summary: Dave has height issues.
The Story:

Dave was way not impressed. Sure, it was cool and ironic to be stuck in Tinkerbell's outfit and wings and all at first, but now that he had physically changed to be her? No. No he wasn't happy to be so small and very much a girl. Okay, well, the girl thing actually wasn't so bad, but still!

He hovered near the door of his room, unimpressed. It was closed and he had no way of actually opening the door. And he couldn't open a window, so he was effectively stuck in his room. Dave clucked his tongue and went over to his comm to give a call to a certain sexy Ghostbuster.

egbert
i need you to bust down my door and be the big damn hero

Those two sentences took way to fucking long to write, but whatever. It was the best he could do.

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John is...not sure whether he would be able to balance long enough to be a big damn hero but he supposes he'll have to try or risk being down a boyfriend. Even if that means. Going. Outside. At all.

Ugh, oh well, better make it quick.

John hurries out his door, into the hallway, and through Dave's door. And then he realizes that the room is empty and wonders if Dave is trying to play a scary prank on him.

"Dave?" Ugh, Dave was going to scare his tits off and then laugh at him. Jerk. That's his job.

"Sup," he replied, flying up to John's face with his arms crossed.

"Very timely arrival, hero."

John screams. And then realizes that that tiny voice is Dave's and Dave is a fairy Dave is a gay fairy. Flaming. Homosexual.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! OH MY GOD..."

"Oh my God, Egbert, I'm gonna kill you."

He was not amused by any of this. Dave even showed this unamusement by kicking him in the nose.

"Ow!" John grabbed his nose. "Ow, shit, my eyes are watering. You're such a douche! How am I not supposed to laugh at this shit?!"

"You won't think it's so funny when you can't even lift up a fuckin' pencil without fear of gettin' crushed."

Or if he decided to take a nose dive into those succulent boobies John was currently sporting.

"Okay...that's true." John wipes at his eyes, sighing. "I'm sorry."

Pause.

"Also, I have boobs. I don't know if you noticed."

"Apology accepted."

...Okay, John deserved a little fairy kiss for it. Dave also made a point of it to look down at his chest.

"Yep. So do I. Damn, at this height, I could fuckin' swim in those."

John blushes. "Umm, yeah, you. You are really small."

He squints at Dave, confirming that he does indeed have teeny little boobs. "I didn't even notice you had boobs. So, that's probably easier for you." Shrug. "Less embarrassing."

"Hey, I had to get my own fun girl time at some point. I mean, shit, you've had this done twice. Startin' to get a little jealous of you, dude."

And Dave was going to go ahead and use one of John's boobs as a very comfy sofa. He could totally get used to the height if he could do that.

John's arms shoot out. Is this-- is this appropriate? Is this allowed? Does this make him a slut? Or...her a slut? Oh God, he hasn't even peed since the boobs started coming in, does he have a vagina? He should pro-- she should probably check, augh, come on.

"...It's really not that fun for a lot of reasons. Being a girl is way complicated."

"Eh, so you have to wipe when you take a piss, and once a month you gotta deal with the whole bleedin' thing, but it doesn't seem all that bad other than that."

Dave shrugged.

"Okay, being a girl when you aren't normally a girl is kind of super embarrassing and confusing! I figured I didn't have to explain that considering you are currently three inches tall and all! Major bodily changes are weird!"

Okay, he's not going to compare any of this to puberty or going god tier because it is not the same.

"Even as a dude major bodily changes are pretty fuckin' weird. Stop hatin' on the chick with fairy wings just 'cause you're jealous I've got this shit."

He stood, and took a leisurely walk up to John's shoulder to plop down next to his cheek. Dave could take a hint, sometimes.

John pouts, but decides Dave is right anyway.

"Sorry. Maybe I'm on my period or something." He really has no idea. "Also these are getting way bigger than the ones I got last time. And I think I grew a little? Like. I can reach the door jam, see?"

John reaches up and slaps the arch of the door without even getting on his tippy toes. "So this is like, super puberty plus giant boobs and. I'm a little scared. There, I said it."

"I think the mansion's gettin' more perverted and decided to oversexify you."

He wasn't exactly complaining.

"No need to be scared when your fairy in shining armor's here."

John snorts. And giggles. And then gets in under control again. "Sorry, sorry. It just. Sounds funny."

Anyway.

"Did you get any powers? I mean, obviously the wings work and all but..." Well, he doesn't even really know what powers fairies get anyway.

"Shut up."

Dave shrugged.

"Dunno. I guess I've got whatever the fuck Tinkerbell's got. No ideas, now. I'm not about to let you spank me just so you can get some magic fuckin' pixie dust on you."

"And I would've thought you would like that, hehe." John gives Dave a gentle poke in the side. "Oh wow, your skinniness is super obvious now. Or maybe it's just because all your extra weight is going to your tinker-tits."

Hehehe, tinker-tits.

He flinched against John's cheek because goddamn his ticklishness.

"Excuse you. Just 'cause I've now got tinker-tits doesn't mean my metabolism became any more than what it was. Way to make a girl feel special."

Though, really, Dave's used to it and not bothered by the jab.

"Hey, I'm not complaining! Even if they're. You know, only the size of marbles, it's still hot...proportionally?"

Okay, actually, he's not sure how he feels about tiny!Dave in regards to sexual thoughts. He's not even sure how he feels about regularsized!Dave and sexual thoughts, yet. It's all a big muddle of guilt and confusion and boners.

Or.

Moistness?

Ugh. "Dave, girl bodies are so confusing and I'm kind of scared of what the mansion is gonna do to us next."

"Please, your size is fine, too."

Dave patted John's cheek, half affectionate and half reassuring.

"You'll be okay. Whatever it throws at us, we can totally take it."

Speaking of which....

"Now, since you so kindly set me free from my room, let's take a walk around the mansion. Strut our stuff. Show the mansion we're not bothered by the whole sex change thing. We're fuckin' sexy and we damn well know it."

Normally, John standing up straighter out of nerves would be hardly noticeable. But with the big bouncy boobies and Dave riding on his shoulder, well, there's no pretending he's not incredibly nervous about this.

"I really wish I could get a bra out of the closet right now. Also, who in their right mind would wear this without a bra, seriously?!"

"Sex appeal. Or it wouldn't fit right with one."

He rolled his eyes.

"Look, if anyone looks at your chest pillows, I'll poke 'em in the eye."

John looks down and shuffles his feet a little.

"You better."

"'Course I am. Wouldn't be a Knight if I didn't protect my Heir from all those unsavory ruffians waitin' to cop an unwanted feel."

John snorts. "More like "Heiress" right now, though."

He heads to the door, opening it and closing it behind them. "So, uh, what kind of strutting do you wanna do? I mean, like, uh. I'm not really sure how to strut."

"Same diff."

Aw, yeah, the sweet smell of freedom! ~~And John.~~

"Just be you. You've got a natural strut."

"I have not! I'm a huge klutz." John wiggles his shoulders to throw Dave off a little. "See? Totally off-kilter."

He starts heading down the stairs more carefully, though. Wouldn't want to prove Dave right about something else, here.

"So...where to?"

He pretty much had to hug John's face to keep his balance. Stupid height.

"Pick a place, any place. Speakin' of that, it's your turn to plot a Valentine's Surprise this year."

"Ooh, I guess it is. What do you want?"

John just heads out, not particularly aimed in any direction, although his ears might perk up like a disturbed bunny's if he hears anybody heading their way. Better safe than sorry, he supposes. Even if he looks nothing like himself, he'd rather avoid being made fun of. Making people laugh should be an on purpose thing.

"Surprise me."

Even if it was hard to surprise a Strider, he'd still be curious to see what John would do if left to his own devices. Dave then migrated up to sit on his friend's head, getting himself nice and cozy.

"Okay, I won't mind the shitty height if I get to make a nest outta your hair. Have fun brushin' tonight."

"Ugh, man, really? There's so much more of it right now!" John whines right up until he realizes how high his voice can go now and gets weirded out and stops.

And also stops in front of some. Weird. Door.

It's sort of industrial looking. Definitely out of place here in the mansion, but maybe not in the back of a grocery store or something. It looks like it'd lead to a warehouse, maybe? It's pretty big.

And in big letters in the center, it says JUNES EMPLOYEES ONLY.

"...What's a Joons?"

"Hell yeah, really." Dave was enjoying this.

Curious, the fairy Strider fluttered up to the door. He lighted down on the handle as he looked up at the letters.

"Probably some sorta chain store. The fuck's that doin' here?"

"I dunno, but it's totally weird." John squints at the doorframe, trying to see if it's gonna fall out or something since it seems so out of place. "I...wonder if we can get in? Move, shoo."

John waves his hand at his tiny boygirlfriend. "Come on, I don't wanna crush you."

Dave huffed and fluttered away from the handle. He inspected the rest of the door, but couldn't find any cracks big enough for even his tiny body to squeeze through.

"Well, I know I sure as hell can't get in. I'd have to be an ant or somethin' smaller."

John jiggles the handle. "And it's locked. Lame."

Hmm. Now what? Wait. Wait, event. Wait.

"This can't be the only one! Dave, what if there's a door from our world?" John bounces on his toes, totally unaware of what this does to his female body. "We've gotta find it!"

Oh, the jiggling glory. Thank God he still had his sunglasses. He resettled himself on John's head after a split second of appreciating certain bouncing assets.

"Onward, brave steed."

"Hehe, okay." John moves quickly down the halls, eyes ready and waiting for-- oh, hello."

This door was probably really well hidden in its original place but here, well, it kinda stood out. The wallpaper is a totally different color from the rest of the hall! John, lacking the knowhow to open it correctly, proceeds to throw his entire bodyweight into it in an effort to push it open.

He groans in pain and slides to the floor. "Okay, I'm appreciating the internal doodads now. Ow..."

"See, that's why you don't throw your weight at a fuckin' door."

Dave wasn't even going to bother.

"Goddamn that's a floral door, though. Wonder whose it is."

John struggles to his feet, shrugging a little as he goes. "I dunno. A gay guy? Like, a really gay one?"

"Can't it be a girl's door?"

Although, he had to admit, it was pretty gay.

Uh.

"...Maybe I miss being a boy too much." John pushes at the door again, then starts feeling around for some kind of latch. "I mean, maybe if I was a guy I'd be heavy enough to knock this in. Girls are too tiny."

"Please, you'd still be too tiny. 'Sides, from the look of it, I'd guess that the only one who can really open this shitty door is whoever owns it."

"Then we had better find our own doors."

John heads down the hall a little slower this time. He's a little sore from getting too excited last time.

Er. Not like that.

Anyway, he's also thoughtful! "What doors would we even get?"

Dave shrugged, not caring that John wouldn't be able to see it.

"Dunno. Betcha we'll recognize 'em on sight, though."

"Yeah, probably."

As they head up the second floor, a hilarious idea hits John. "What if your door just opens onto some stairs. Hehehehe."

He sighed.

"I'll fuckin' ragequit the world so hard Karkat would be jealous. He'd grovel at my feet begging for lessons. But, hey, maybe yours will lead to a secret stash of Betty Crocker cakes."

John tries not to react at all to that.

"Haha, hey, at least I'm not my mirror for that one."

The continue on, the walls disappointingly bare for a stretch of time before they find another one. This time it's a glass door with a smiley face and the words Happy Time written on it. Too bad it's dark inside, or maybe they'd be able to see what's in there.

"This door is kind of freaking me out a little for some reason."

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There's Something Strange In Your Neighborhood

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