Rollercoaster 'O Feels

[seekingbrother]

Who: Alphonse and Edward Elric, closed like a motherfucker
Where: Somewhere on the second floor, probably going back to their room
When: Just after this ball of shenanigans
Rating: PG? Will revise as needed.
Summary: Ed's mirror triggered a bad memory. Emotional breakdowns ensue.
The Story:

Al ran through the halls, using the exertion to try and ignore the snippet of memory that had been revived. His brother couldn't have gotten too far, but at the same time he wasn't nearly close enough. Not right now, when he was desperately trying to hold back tears and agony.

Comments

[seekinghome]

After Ed took a quick walk outside, he returned to their room and was sprawled on his bed; Al's kitten on his chest and scratching it idly as he stared at the ceiling.

[seekingbrother]

When Al finally arrived at their room, he forced himself to slow down so he wouldn't terrify the kitten, or accidentally hit her with the door. Taking a few deep breaths and very deliberately not looking at any of the mirrors, he opened the door and slipped inside.

It was a relief to see Ed there, and his voice wobbled with pent-up emotion. "Brother?"

[seekinghome]

Ed frowned in concern when he saw the state Al was in. "Al? What's wrong?"

[seekingbrother]

Ed won't be getting an answer for the moment as Al runs over and collapses onto him, hugging him tight and bawling his eyes out.

[seekinghome]

Ed yelped as kitten claws dug in during the furball's escape from being squished and he wrapped his arms around Al, becoming worried. "What's wrong. Do I need to beat up Greed for you?"

What? It's not like he knows anyone else showed up in the library. :|

[seekingbrother]

It's alright, Ed, we won't judge you.

Al shook his head, trying to regain enough control to speak. He finally managed after a few halting tries. "W-we managed to find some of th-the people on the other side. One of them w-was you."

[seekinghome]

"Really? What'd he say? Anything helpful about how to get out?" Ed's interest perked up at this, although he doubted it was really something like what he just asked Al, given how Al was acting.

[seekingbrother]

He shook his head again, burying his face harder against his brother's chest. "He said...he said that if we leave the Queen beheads them...a-and that I should know about k-killing copies already."

Al finally looked up, his eyes red and swollen. "When he said that, I...I remembered when we killed her..." He couldn't even bring himself to say her name--either one. What Dante had labeled her...it wasn't her real name, was it?

[seekinghome]

"That--" Ed made himself stop and take a deep breath as he tried to sit up properly with his brother in the way.

"I wish you didn't have to remember that, Al. Or if you had to, not like that." He closed his eyes against his own memory of events.

[seekingbrother]

Al moves to let him, but sits next to Ed so he can still cling tightly to him. "We shouldn't have...I didn't want to kill her..."

[seekinghome]

"I didn't want to either. But if we didn't kill her first, she would have killed us," Ed said quietly, keeping an arm wrapped around Al.

[seekingbrother]

Al couldn't find a response to that. Words were tangling up in his throat, and he just clung to Ed as he wept.

It was a while later before he could speak again, though he was still sniffling. "We didn't get any more out of them. Greed...he broke the mirror after your...the other you said that."

[seekinghome]

"Trying to make him stop upsetting you?" Ed asked, voice still quiet.

[seekingbrother]

"I guess? I wasn't...really expecting a memory to come back like that. Or for that you to be so hostile to me." That was what had really rattled him, set him off-balance enough to trigger that memory. It just...it wasn't right.

[seekinghome]

"Castiel said they were inverted versions of us," Ed reminded his brother gently. "I guess that goes for his feelings towards his brother and you."

[seekingbrother]

"I...I know, but..." He looked up at Ed--he understood, right?

[seekinghome]

"I know. It bothers me too." He sucked in a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Are you going to be able to sleep without nightmares after that?"

[seekingbrother]

"I don't know." Translation: no. "I never...remembered anything that bad before now."

[seekinghome]

"Hopefully, you won't remember anything else like it. At least, not under circumstances like those."

[seekingbrother]

Al nods, swallowing thickly. "I want to remember again, but it's hard to get it in snippets like this."

[seekinghome]

Ed sighed and leaned his head against his brother. "I'm sorry. I never meant for you to forget."

[seekingbrother]

He smiles, leaning against Ed as the tension finally starts to drain away. "I know, Brother. It's okay."

[seekinghome]

"Sorry about leaving earlier. I had thinking I needed to do," Ed said, closing his eyes.

[seekingbrother]

"You were angry, and you would have snapped again at Greed if you didn't go. You couldn't have known who we were going to find."

[seekinghome]

"Yeah." Ed goes quiet after this.

[seekingbrother]

Al stays quiet as well, happy to just stay with Ed like this for now.