entrancelogs | tv is fundamental

Kevin stops when his surroundings change, but they're not that crazy different. It's some house in the suburbs, and his clothes aren't even all that different, though when he shifts the backpack over his shoulder, he hears things clanking around inside. Zipping it open, he finds a container of clear liquid, a wooden stake, and some garlic. Vampires? Quickly, he darts his eyes around the room, but there's no one there --

Until his mom comes out. Kevin's heart drops, his mouth goes dry, and he takes a half-step forward.

"Mom?"

"Kevin, you're home!" Her smile fades; she's nervous about something, but then turns her smile up brighter.

"I have some news, and I hope you'll be as excited as I am." She stops, wringing her hands, and then gestures to the doorway into the next room, beckoning whoever is in there to come forward. "It might be moving too fast, but... we've decided to get married."

Edited 2013-06-30 04:19 (UTC)

Dick is all about theatrics. That is the fundamental part of being a billionaire icon that others can look up to. He can get whatever he wants out of anybody and his reward will always be a more satisfying meal. A lot of what he has done in this place is put on his best smile. So far it works out just fine. Imagine his surprise when he finds himself in the middle of a plain old suburban home and a certain familiar face waving him over to the doorway. His smile wavers slightly, but he stands up and straightens out his suit.

Somewhere along the way, he gets a genuine smile on his face. Wherever this is going, his curiosity is peaked. As he slides into the doorway, he snakes an arm around the waist of his sudden fiance and gives Kevin his trademark smile. It looks as creepy as usual, but the lady beside him seems to find that endearing.

"Hey, Kevin. I've heard a lot about you. I think once we get to know each other that we're going to get along just fine. Think of me as your friend."

He laughs before holding out his hand with every intention of shaking Kevin's hand.

"I feel like we already know so much about each other. Name's Richard Roman. You can call me Dick."

No, no no no no no -- Kevin's saying it so much in his head that he doesn't realize he's started saying it out loud, too, until his mom interrupts him sharply.

"Kevin! I taught you better manners than that."

This is too much. He can't be expected to deal with this... this... He knows it's not his mom, but he hasn't seen his mom since he sent her away. The more he looks at her though, he can see where she's just an imitation, just a projection.

"But Mom -- " She holds up her finger, and even if she isn't real, it shuts Kevin up quick.

"I don't want to hear it. Now, go set the table."

Kevin looks from her to Dick, his fear turning slowly into a kind of determination.

"I want Dick to come help me. We're friends, right?"

Dick is enjoying this probably more than he should. If he is going to be playing along with anything, this seems like fun. It is not everyday he gets to see that look on Kevin's face. This is like a nice little surprise for this all to come along. He tilts his head before laughing in probably the most sickeningly stereotypical nice guy tone one would expect from shows like this. He gives Kevin's fake mom a squeeze around the waist before removing his arm and shrugging his shoulders.

"Of course we are! I'd be more than happy to help you set the table! We'll be doing a lot of that together soon enough!"

His enthusiasm is exaggerated, but definitely not unlike how he usually is.

"Oh, and Kevin? Let's make this really special. I'd hate for dinner to be ruined. I might have to take everybody here out for dinner and it just wouldn't end up being as special as spending time together here."

He gives a wink to his sudden fiance and an extra wide smile to Kevin before he slips off into the kitchen.

Edited 2013-07-02 17:12 (UTC)

He's so overly cheerful, and Kevin knows what he's really like, all evil and people-eating and terrifying, and Kevin's really not in the mood. Not to be eaten, obviously, and not to see him eat his not-really-but-more-than-he-has-otherwise mom. They have to get through this; Kevin's been trapped in these before and figured that out, but what would happen if Dick just kept eating him and his mom over and over?

All he gets is Kevin's glare, hard and so over this, as he follows him to the kitchen. He glances over his shoulder to make sure his not-mom isn't watching, and then he hisses under his breath at Dick.

"You stay away from her. I don't care if this is all some illusion."

Kevin's come a long way in the year since he was last held captive by Dick.

Dick wants to eat everybody in this little adventure no matter if they are technically real or not. He ate his own shadow and then some when they all had shadows running around. He nearly laughs out loud when Kevin threatens him. This never gets old. To him, this is what made moments like this so much more interesting and always fun. This is all supposed to be in good fun. He learned enough when he took the real Dick Roman's form to know the basics of setting up a traditional table for a human. It will always be pointless, but he will go through the motions.

At the end of any of this, he intends to get himself a good meal to make up for it. He doesn't even bother to look over his shoulder to see if anybody is listening in. He looks back over to Kevin to make sure that he has his attention.

"No promises. I am really hungry and illusions might be just the thing to hit the spot."

He is all smiles when Kevin's not mom pops her head into the kitchen to see how they are doing.

"Everything's going great, babe."

Because Kevin will definitely enjoy Dick giving pet names to his not mom.

What if that's how this is supposed to end? If they're going to get out of here when Dick eats him or his mom or both? The thought is really just way too unsettling, and Kevin steams, keeping his mouth shut as he angrily starts getting silverware together, slamming it down on the counter, and he shoots Dick a hard look.

"Just play your part," he grinds out, then stomps off to the dining room to start setting things up. He needs to get to his bag, which is still in the hall. He needs to set up some kind of sabotage, right?

He glances up at Not Mom, and before she can scold him for putting things down too hard, he's scooting out of the room to get his bag.

"I'll get the drinks." By which he means he's going to slip in there and pour some borax into Dick's glass.

Edited 2013-07-16 01:48 (UTC)

Dick only smirks when Kevin tries to order him around. Well, that is a mighty hilarious attempt. As far as he can tell, this little excursion is looking to be a win for him. He doubts consuming a non-existing human will fill him up, but it'll be a start. If it makes Kevin more angry then that just adds a little fire to the real main course.

He wonders what prophet will taste like. When Kevin bangs that silverware around, he turns towards the not mom and makes an exaggerated sigh.

"Boys will be boys. We did kind of spring this on him though."

How is that for playing a part? He and Soon To Be Lunch go to have themselves a seat at the dinner table. Dick never did understand these traditions and customs. It is all so pointless. He keeps that to himself, taking extra special care to hold that hand that is offered out to him on the edge of the table.

"He's a good kid getting this all set up. So considerate."

Kevin comes back with their drinks, giving each person their glass, and he hopes he doesn't smell like chemicals. That's how these things are supposed to go, right? He tries every method of sabotaging Dick until... something happens. He also found a suspicious amount of garlic and stuff, and Kevin wonders if the game is rigged slightly to include all the tropes. For good measure, he found the food and added a ton of garlic to the plates anyway.

He smiles tightly at his mom, but she doesn't seem particularly thrilled with him, or with the glare he shoots Dick.

"So... How did you two meet?"

Dick may be starting to like these fake scenarios. Humans sure do have a lot of stupid things they liked. Drama is all well and good sometimes, but it gets a little tiresome. He really does not pay much attention to television unless he is the one on it. He has to keep up with how the media is portraying him after all.

He feels as though he smells an excessive amount of garlic by the time Kevin is asking him, or rather him and Kevin's not mom, that question. He doesn't find anything eerie about that.

"Your mom should really be the one to tell that story. She absolutely loves telling it."

And as she begins, he reaches for the glass. Unfortunately he ends up bumping it and the contents spill on the table. It, of course, conveniently misses hitting him as it tends to in shows like this. When does the first attempt to out the monster ever work? He holds up his hand before anybody can speak up.

"I'm a little clumsy today. I'll refill this a little later. You were just getting to the best part! Please continue."

Kevin sighs, a little too obviously disappointed than he ought to be just for someone spilling their water glass. He fidgets in his chair and only half listens to the story because he really doesn't want to hear about how his fake mom fake got together with real Dick Roman. He pushes his food around without really eating, and then decides to try something.

"Hey," he says suddenly. "How about a picture?" He starts pulling out his phone. No reflection, right? That's one of the tropes.

Dick gives Kevin an extra special grin. Oh, this is turning out to be a lot more entertaining than he gives this place credit for. He really thought he was just going to be hiding out until this came along. This place must be reading his mind to figure out one of his favorite guests here.

He gives little nods every now and then to the story, noting Kevin hardly listening at all. When he offers to take a picture, Dick is all too happy to lean his head over towards not mom.

"That's a great idea! Lean on in here, babe. I want to make sure this one's extra special for Kevin here."

Kevin doubts that in a normal world, this would work, but he's maybe hoping that the crazy, mixed-up physics of this shared hallucination or whatever it is will come through for him and just let Dick be reflectionless.

He takes the picture and ignores the nausea that swells up seeing Dick and his not-mom side by side like that, and he's disappointed that he can see Dick in the viewscreen, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything for the final product, right?

He snaps the picture and then turns it around quickly, too afraid to look at it himself. "What do you think? Should I take another?"

[ OOC: up to you if the picture took or not! ]

If Dick remembers correctly, things of this sort never work out right away. He knows how much this is bothering Kevin and it makes the Leviathan rather content. As much as he enjoyed that, the continued insistence on keeping even a fake human close to him was disgusting enough. Still, he has a part to play.

When Kevin turns the camera around, he smiled. His smile may be a little more wide than is necessary for his usual demeanor. At least he can claim that it's for the not Kevin's mom. He shakes his head and feigns a little bit of a troubled expression on his face.

"Doesn't look like the ol' camera is working too well. It's a shame. I really wanted a copy of that."

[ooc: I hope you are cool with a comedy of errors with the technology malfunctioning :D]

[ ooc: YES ]

Figures. He's not sure there's a way around that. Maybe there's one last thing he can try. He's determined to get them out of this stupid thing, and that means he needs to go for the totally over-the-top, totally disruptive one, right? He's going to blame Dick for the inspiration.

"I'll -- go see if I can find a camera." Kevin practically flies out of his chair, and he gets the rest of the borax he has. Hurrying back into the dining room, he just throws it at Dick's head. There.

[ooc: \o/]

Dick wonders what Kevin is hoping to do with all of this. He makes his own conclusions on what he remembers from television, but he never really enjoyed stories like this one. They were always so cliche to the point of him wondering how humans still functioned with such programming. It is all pretty pathetic. He does not pay much attention to where Kevin is going as he turns to not Kevin's mom.

"It's a real shame that picture never turned out. I was really looking forward to-...!"

Amazingly annoying what a certain prophet could do when he finds himself in this kind of situation. Whatever he has been trying to do up until now must not have satisfied him. When that liquid comes his way, he manages to only slightly tilt his head to the side. It still ends up hitting him square in the eye with most of it.

Instead of waiting for the steam, he is already rushing in the direction of the bathroom or what he assumes to be. Playing it off like it got in his eye normally it the only thing he can do. Anything other than that...well...not Kevin's mom is dinner sooner than later.

Score one for Kevin, and it's enough to upset his not-mom and make her a little bit suspicious, though unfortunately at the moment she's suspicious of Kevin because she's asking him what was in that glass. His mom's smart though, even a fake version of his mom, and he thinks she'll realize that a borax allergy wouldn't result in that kind of face melting.

That seems to have satisfied the scenario, and as soon as Kevin is free from the hallucination or whatever it is, he bolts as fast as he can go. He's not waiting around to see what Dick might have in store for him.

Clara thinks she's going to be sick. She's never been someplace so colorful and sweet before. She's getting a toothache just from standing here, right in the middle of lollipop fields and gumdrop meadows. There's a chocolate river not far off, and little tiny creepy people mucking about doing...she's not sure what. She's too busy being horrified that she's dressed up like a spoiled rich little kid; knee socks, kid style dress, hair done up in curled pigtails and everything. She feels the instinctive need to find someone and yell at them to give her everything right then and there, but she shoves that aside and glances around.

There. Not too far off, she sees him. "Kevin!"

She takes off over to him at a jog, skidding to a halt beside him. "You look just as ridiculous as I do."

Kevin feels like a walking German stereotype, but mostly he feels hungry, and everything around him looks delicious. He's already reaching for the gummy bears on the bushes when Clara finds him, and when he turns around, he has a mouth full with a cupcake shaped like a flower. The gummy bear's in his other hand. When did he pick up the cupcake? Doesn't matter, it's mostly gone now.

"Hi," he mumbles, and then swallows down his food and tries again. "This is the best one of these yet. Have you tried this stuff? It's amazing."

He licks over his lips before he stuffs his face again, making himself wait, hard as that is, and he looks her over.

"You look kind of nice. I feel like a souvenir."

"A what?" A snotty tone of voice leaks through, surprising her. She just shrugs it off though, since at this point in time it feels almost natural.

"You look like you're stuffed, you shouldn't keep eating." But still, those gummy bears on the bushes are rather adorable, and she reaches out to grab hold of a red one to eat. "You can't just bring any of this with you as a souvenir, you know."

Although...

The urge rolls through her, and before she knows it, she must have not only a gummy bear at home, but the entire bush. Actually, all of the bushes. She needs them all. It's not even a want, she needs these. She knows it's a matter of life or death and she'll be downright devastated if she doesn't get her way.

"I deserve the gummy bush! And I want it now!"

He should be insulted by her... insults, but he mostly doesn't care because he's still working on this gummy bear, and it is delicious. He watches her fit with a mostly unaffected, bemused expression, but the part of him that isn't experience an intense sugar high can tell something is a bit off with that. He frowns, swallows down his last bite, and then nods at her.

"I don't know if we can keep these things once we get out of the scene." Oh, right. Scenes.

Oh shit.

"Clara. Do you know where we are? Do you know who we are?"

"Chocolate factory, I'd wager." She responded, her haughty tone momentarily slipping as fear slipped into her voice instead. She was fully expecting stupid, dangerous things to happen to the both of them, and for some disturbingly awkward man in purple to come out with singing little people to cart them away. Of course, she wouldn't say that out loud, she didn't want to startle Kevin.

Instead, she stepped in closer to him, hand going up to press against his mouth as a signal for him to just stop eating.

"We should be careful. There's too many lessons to learn in a place like this."

Her hand's totally in the way of him chewing -- oh. He swallows what's in his mouth and ducks out from behind her hand. Reluctantly, he puts what's in his hands back down.

"Right. Chocolate factory." And he's the one that maybe drowns or melts and she's the one who...

He glances around them carefully, looking for Oompa Loopas, but the coast seems to be clear for the moment.

"As long as we behave ourselves and follow the rules, we should be okay, right?"

She nods, but isn't really all that sure he's onto something that will work out. She knows how they're both dressed, and knows that things probably won't end well for either of them. "You avoid gluttony, I avoid greed, think we might end up doing okay."

Right at that moment an alarm sounds overhead, and Clara glances up. Pipework that leads from the chocolate stream to someplace else seems to not be doing all that great, and with a loud lurch, one of the pipes cracks right open, dropping chocolate right over them.

"Move!" Clara instructs in a shout, attempting to run and avoid being hit.

She knows something like this is bound to happen, every single weird thing she's experienced today has been like this.

Chocolate from Heaven -- it's a miracle and it's so good --

-- probably should not be what Kevin thinks as he's stuck in place, smacked in the face with chocolate from the ceiling. He's going to get it all over him at this rate, but won't that be awesome? He'll smell like chocolate for days. Oh, gross, it's getting in his ears, that's uncomfortable -- oh, dammit.

Clara's words kick in, and Kevin bolts, chocolate flying as he tries to squint through it, running down his face. He finally has to stop when he gets to a tree whose bark is made of some kind of fruit roll-up. He pulls one off to try to get the chocolate out of his eyes, but pretty much everything stings.

"I don't remember that from the movie!" he calls out.

"That's because we're not in the same version!" Clara huffs in frustration, and watches as Kevin tries to clean off his face. It's messy and sticky and she can only imagine how much chocolate actually burns the eyes -

No wait, she doesn't want to imagine that, it sounds painful. So instead she uses the sleeve of her horribly childish coat to wipe at his face for him. "You're hopeless!" It's laughed out, she's really unable to prevent herself from doing so. the whole situation is absolutely ridiculous.

"Think we're supposed to play the parts of the little fat boy and spoiled rich girl, or things like that happen."

He stops trying to help himself -- since he's not doing a very good job -- and holds still for Clara, though he feels bad to have to make her get chocolate on herself for his sake.

It's really good chocolate though. Like, really good. He's kind of glad he got the fat kid role, -- no, focus, Kevin!

He shakes his head, chocolate spraying lightly, and then nods. Right.

"So does that mean we... need to be horrible children? Well, I need to be hungry. You need to be horrible." He grins, a tiny bit impish.

tv is fundamental

Guess Who I'm Marrying? Dick Roman!

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That's a great icon name XD

lmao TY TY

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Clara and the Chocolate Factory (ft Kevin)

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