ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟ ᴘᴜᴘᴘʏ sᴄᴏᴛᴛ ᴍᴄᴄᴀʟʟ (◡‿◡✿) (
exercise) wrote in
entrancelogs2013-11-03 02:17 pm
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Entry tags:
this one wicked road ❧ you're gonna make it right
Who: isaac lahey (
algidity ) and scott mccall (
exercise )
Where: their room.
When: first day after the event
Rating: pg-13
Summary: dark depressing thoughts to cute fluffies and love confessions!!
The Story:
[ There's not any bit of drama when Mirror Scott leaves and the real one comes back- just a jerk, a sudden unanticipated push, and he's gone, and Scott's left to deal with the consequences of the other's actions. His body feels used, tired. Exhausted from sleepless nights when the real Scott wouldn't let him sleep- ached from the scars both of them continually forced on this body, cuts which now long to heal, ragged edges of skin wanting to form back together into seamless, invisible lines.
The physical is nothing compared to the mental, though. Even with his Mirror gone, Scott still hears the hiss of you're worthless, you're pathetic, you're useless, idiot, idiot, idiot, in the back of his head- and for once, he believes it. Because he allowed horrible things to occur over the last week, horrible, unfair things that he was powerless to stop. Allison, Isaac- Mirror Stiles he doesn't really give a shit about- Cora. He owes them all an apology, and somewhere inside him knows that the longer he waits, the worse it will get.
But he can't be bothered. He doesn't deserve forgiveness. He doesn't deserve healing wounds and he doesn't receive them- just lets the off-red color of his blood seep through his shirt while he lays down on his bed and thinks about Isaac. About all the cruelties Scott had said- of course none of it was true, but he had given his other self the tools to hurt him with. The knowledge of his father, the severity of their relationship.
Scott doesn't want to think about it, because it only makes him feel worse- though he knows he deserves to feel like the pile of garbage he is. He turns his head over and breathes in Isaac's lingering scent stuck on the pillows, curling up into a slight ball while he tries to sleep.
And then he remembers he can't sleep without Isaac. ]
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Where: their room.
When: first day after the event
Rating: pg-13
Summary: dark depressing thoughts to cute fluffies and love confessions!!
The Story:
[ There's not any bit of drama when Mirror Scott leaves and the real one comes back- just a jerk, a sudden unanticipated push, and he's gone, and Scott's left to deal with the consequences of the other's actions. His body feels used, tired. Exhausted from sleepless nights when the real Scott wouldn't let him sleep- ached from the scars both of them continually forced on this body, cuts which now long to heal, ragged edges of skin wanting to form back together into seamless, invisible lines.
The physical is nothing compared to the mental, though. Even with his Mirror gone, Scott still hears the hiss of you're worthless, you're pathetic, you're useless, idiot, idiot, idiot, in the back of his head- and for once, he believes it. Because he allowed horrible things to occur over the last week, horrible, unfair things that he was powerless to stop. Allison, Isaac- Mirror Stiles he doesn't really give a shit about- Cora. He owes them all an apology, and somewhere inside him knows that the longer he waits, the worse it will get.
But he can't be bothered. He doesn't deserve forgiveness. He doesn't deserve healing wounds and he doesn't receive them- just lets the off-red color of his blood seep through his shirt while he lays down on his bed and thinks about Isaac. About all the cruelties Scott had said- of course none of it was true, but he had given his other self the tools to hurt him with. The knowledge of his father, the severity of their relationship.
Scott doesn't want to think about it, because it only makes him feel worse- though he knows he deserves to feel like the pile of garbage he is. He turns his head over and breathes in Isaac's lingering scent stuck on the pillows, curling up into a slight ball while he tries to sleep.
And then he remembers he can't sleep without Isaac. ]
no subject
I want to protect you. He holds his breath for a moment, trying to decide how that makes him feel. After spending so much time with Allison he almost wants to say "I can take care of myself" but there's a stronger part of him that wants that, that wants to be protected. He could get drunk on the sweet scents filling the room - they're some of his favourites, especially when he's spent countless times trailing his tongue over tanned skin to go straight to the source and get a better taste of them.
Why? Why does he want to protect him? It's the first time that someone has ever wanted to protect him. He'll admit his dad used to protect him, and there were moments when his dad protected him from harm as long as the harm wasn't caused by him. Why does Scott want him in his pack? ]
First you need to heal. [ Does he sound like a broken record? He feels like a broken record but he's not going to let Scott get away with being hurt this badly and not healing. Isaac wants to press kisses to his skin until he cannot refuse to heal, but he doesn't. He listens and stays put. It' not apathy, he feels, he just doesn't know what he feels.
When he decides that he's cleaned most of the blood up he leans forward, his arms move to wrap loosely around Scott's waist as he finds an unaffected spot to rest his forehead against Scott's skin. It's a comforting gesture and Isaac is pretty sure he could just stay there forever feeling Scott's warmth, his scent almost tangible in the whole room, his heartbeat and his voice. All of it is calming and relaxing especially after the last week. ]
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I'm trying. [ The last word is accentuated with a pathetic attempt at a laugh, free hand moving to draw lacy designs on the top of Isaac's back. The other keeps toying at his neck, holding him there once Isaac moves to rest against his chest, and Scott wishes there were something he could do to help him- any words he could say that might put their hearts at ease. But he's tongue tied, too afraid to confess to anything, too lost to really know what to say.
He bends at the waist after a second, picking Isaac's head up a bit so he can kiss somewhere in the mess of his hair. ]
I'm sorry he hurt you.
[ He sighs a bit, still buried in curly hair, because he knows Isaac won't want to hear it- he's already said time and time again that it's okay, but it's not, it doesn't feel like it is. Of course, he doesn't want to force anything out of Isaac and if he doesn't want to talk, Scott won't make him, but it feels important- like something he needs to at least try and address.
Scott kisses his head again, more soundly wrapping his arms around Isaac, until he's offering more of an embrace. ]
I won't let him come near you again.
no subject
He smiles and leans in to kiss Scott's warm skin in return for the kisses placed in his hair. Scott had said he was in love with him... Well, Mirror Scott did... He's pretty sure that was something that was on his brain and Allison's since it'd been said. For a minute he can just forget the turmoil this last week has caused, the fact that everyone and their mother knows far more about his life than they should if they were paying attention... He knows Cora saw it, suspects Santana did... And he'd shown Allison... But the latter was his choice, he let her in on his own. ]
Can I - uh - Can I stay here tonight? [ He doesn't have anything against sharing a room with Allison actually she's a very peaceful roommate, only a little intimidating... But she's funny and easy to be around. The point is, he misses Scott, it's surprisingly hard to get to sleep when he doesn't have Scott curled protectively around him. ] With you. [ It seems like a silly question, but it's not silly to him and he's sure the other teenager can tell by how his heart picks up and anxiety floods off him.
Isaac idly and blindly traces ghosts into the skin of Scott's lower back. He obviously still wants him... Right?... He asked him to be part of his pack... They're still touching and looking at each other as if they're lovers... Scott said he was in love with him. ]
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Except, maybe, if Allison were on his other side, kissing the other side of his neck. Scott can remember a time that never happened- waking up with them curled up beside him, an arm wrapped around each, remarking the way that when life's peaceful, and they're not running for their lives, and when the early sun hits them just right -
He's in love. At least half of his affections are somewhat returned, which is more than he deserves, but he still craves more. He still wants Allison alongside Isaac. ]
It's your room too. You don't have to ask. [ Scott still understands that he needs the reassurance, though, and he bends over to kiss at his cheek, arms wrestling around and beneath Isaac's to press against his sides. Rubbing affectionate circles into them, adoration rolling off of his shoulders because that's actually a really dumb question. Scott doesn't want to be alone anymore than Isaac does. ]
Come here.
[ Isaac doesn't need to do much work, though, because Scott is already hauling him up, turning them both over so they can lay rightly on the bed.
Thread by thread, Scott's wounds start closing up. ]
no subject
Then he's being manhandled and pulled to where Scott wants him, not at all putting up a fight, instead letting out a startled little laugh before settling into where Scott wanted him. The bloodied cloth got lost somewhere in transmission of being moved up to the bed with Scott, he'll find it later on the floor and throw it in the trash. The first aid kit also managed to get knocked off, hitting the floor with a dull thud.
His body basically moves on its own as he leans in to press his lips to Scott's, it's chaste and full of adoration as he move to press another one to the corner of Scott's lips. ] Allison's sofa is too short. [ The fact sounds random enough, but that's where he's been sleeping since Scott was taken over. As if to put emphasis on the fact he pulls back to stretch his legs out, and his arms above him, following them with his gaze, resembling Parker when he stretches out... They do say the owner and the pet begin to look alike...
When he's done basking in the fact that he's on a bed he turns to look at Scott once again, his hand reaching out to brush over his jaw and then rest on his cheek. They should talk about it. He's scared to. But he knows they should and he figures Scott is waiting for it. He just needs to figure out how to pull it from his thoughts and put it eloquently... ] You said you were in love with me. [ Or... Not. Isaac pauses, that's not how he'd meant to say it... ] Well - uh - your mirror did... Is that... [ True? ] Did you mean it? [ He pauses for a minute, baby blues still on Scott, traversing from his eyes down to his lips. He can hear the beating of their hearts. It's not in tune, but they're relaxed for the most part. ] It's okay if you didn't.
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Isaac's heartbeat is steady, at least, and that makes the urge to go cover his face in embarrassment subdued for now. He takes a deep breath, laying on his side while he stares at Isaac - and he can't help but think no, duh, I'm in love with you.
A blind man could see how much I love you. ]
I was- I was trying to convince him that you were, like, this great guy and if he hurt you it would end up hurting him too. I was trying to tell him about all the little things about you to make it seem like you guys were friends, almost but - it just made him hate you more, I think.
[ Scott's not good with words, he doesn't have any idea where he's going with any of this, so he just breathes, tries to look like he's debating something when he's really just looking for anything to say. He can't talk. He's not really ready to - but then, if he loves someone, they should know it, shouldn't they? Even if he and Isaac aren't exactly "together" right now, Scott knows he isn't the first person to get feelings for a fuck buddy. And Isaac wasn't his friend with benefits when Scott first got feelings - the night at the rave when Scott said he didn't want Isaac to get hurt.
He doesn't want him to hurt - really really doesn't. If Scott could kiss all his fears away, he'd do it gladly. He only wants Isaac to be safe and comfortable and warm, at peace in a place that he can call home - wherever that might be. ]
Then I realized that the more I loved you, the more he hated you. And once I said it I couldn't stop - I just kept telling him no, don't do that, I love him. [ There's a pause, and Scott laughs a bit, burying the side of his face into the pillow, shutting his eyes. His voice is muffled a bit by the cloth. ] I tried so hard not to - I thought maybe if I could stop loving you, he'd stop hating you, and he'd leave you alone.
[ Scott worries his lip between his teeth, a hand tentatively moving to lightly skirt across Isaac's back, lazily and without focus. Really, all he wants to do is kiss him and tell him everything's going to be all right now - but it won't feel right unless Isaac says he loves Scott back. And Scott doesn't know that for sure, he doesn't really know anything anymore, but he's happy to have Isaac in anyway that he can, friendship or otherwise. ]
I can't stop, though. I meant it. I really do love you, like, a lot. [ His face grows a little solemn, eyes opening but not looking at Isaac, just staring at his chin while Scott pouts. ] I love you enough to know that you deserve a lot better. You should- I think you should be with Allison.
... But at the same time, I think it would take a crowbar and a mountain of wolfsbane to take me away from you. I can say that you being happy would be enough for me to be happy all I want, but I don't think I can be honestly happy without you. And her, I guess. I love you both.
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He's supposed to say I love you too, he knows he is, but the thought of uttering it is a bit terrifying. He's never been in love, but he knows that it's what he's in right now. With both of them, with Scott and Allison. The hand on his back causes him to curl towards Scott a bit. He wants to roll onto him, to press skin against skin, straddle hips and kiss him until he's dizzy, but instead he's mindful of Scott's injuries. ] I'm glad you didn't stop. [ Scott's Mirror's torture was worth it if it meant that Scott didn't stop feeling for him. ] Then he would have won, and I don't want to lose you.
[ Scott has always been too much of a hero for his own good, and now? He's trying to push Isaac towards Allison, for their happiness, not his. But Isaac refuses to go one way or the other, he's going to be steadfast and stick to his guns, keeping one hand tangled with Scott's and the other with Allison's, metaphorically speaking. ] Scott, stop. I like Allison... I.. It's complicated. But I like you too and... [ He trails off, falling almost completely silent, aside from the chuff of air he blows out, pulling the face that obviously says he doesn't want to be doing something, or is mentally preparing himself from something. It's the same face he'd probably make if someone told him he had to jump off a bridge. ]
I don't want to choose between you or Allison. [ It sounds stingy, but they'd had it once, they'd made it work. Why should he have to be cowed into choosing when he knows the other option went wonderfully. He wants them both, and he knows that sounds terrible, but it's not fair. At least they're past the part of Isaac trying to claim he didn't have any feelings for her. That had been awkward and at one point he'd even tried convincing himself that he didn't. But then she died and it was his fault... He just couldn't keep lying.
He leans in once again, this time to nuzzle along his jawline and down to his neck where he pauses, staying there to simply inhale the scent of Scott, no, not inhale, bask. Then he's withdrawing again, this time to catch Scott's eye, this is important and he wants to be sure that Scott understands that. ] I'm not going to choose if you try to make me but I love you too. [ The words fall out of his mouth and for a minute he holds still as if expecting the world to shatter to a million pieces or something. He knows it needed to be said, even if he was kind of terrified by the idea of admitting it. It feels different saying it aloud, like he can't take it back now, and the flood gates are open for the feelings. Like not being able to unsee something. It'll always be there, hanging in the air. ]
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Or this man's love, which is brighter and sweeter tasting than anything Scott's ever had before. And he's stuck staring at him, heartbeat doing the cha-cha beneath Isaac's palm, before he finally crosses the distance and just kisses him like a madman. With intensity and passion that might have otherwise been held back and probably was before - it's all out on the table now, Scott loves Isaac and Isaac loves him in return, and Scott isn't capable of hiding it anymore.
Scott rolls them over so he's hovering over him now, kiss not breaking while his thighs press against Isaac's sides. He kisses him and kisses him and kisses him - and would keep kissing him if air didn't seem to be a problem eventually. When that moment comes around, Scott pulls away and immediately goes to hide his face in the crook of Isaac's neck, teeth flattening against the skin there because he's grinning. A hand seeks Isaac's and pins it to the bed - not in a sexual way or anything, just so he can look at their handhold without Isaac seeing the embarrassing flush across Scott's cheeks. ]
You didn't have to say that.
[ But he did, it's out there and in the open, and Scott's happy for that - for once, things are clear between them and it's a nice change of pace. He nuzzles into Isaac's neck, obviously scenting him, before slumping against his shoulder, still pining Isaac's hand to the mattress. ]
And - I want that, too. You, me, and Allison. [ His eyes watch their hands together, enjoying the contrast in color. His smile has faded a bit, but it's not at the consideration of a threeway relationship, it's at... the thought of being the thirdwheel on the Isaac and Allison show. Their feelings for each other are plain as day - and back in Beacon Hills, Allison and Scott's feelings were obvious as the sun.
Right now, though? He has no clue. And Scott leans forward to kiss Isaac's throat affectionately, letting his lips drag with every word. ]
I don't think she's into me anymore, though. That's the problem.
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The grin against his skin causes Isaac himself to grin and lean his head against Scott's. It's not long before he's turning to look at their hands, the contrasting skintones weaved together. The nuzzling draws a chuckle out of him and his free hand slides up to sift through dark hair.
Then there are lips on his throat and he can't help but tilt his head back, giving Scott as much access to it as he wants, eyes falling shut in thought. ] She definitely still likes you. She looks at you... The way you look at her. [ He's not jealous, not really, well, maybe a little bit. Allison and Scott? They have history, they've been together, and even if the three of them have been together before? Well - they'd been together longer. Isaac wasn't completely sure they weren't together when he'd first come to wonderland. The fact that she'd roomed right across the hall from him, it was... Something. There was also the way she'd stalked him on their lacrosse trip...
Though he wasn't blind to the fact that Allison had feelings for him either. She'd stood up for him when Scott's mirror was trying his hardest to tear him down. She'd punched him in the face. She'd gotten so angry over the mirror fiasco... Not to mention the kiss... And she held his hand and let him stay with her... Which had been more of a burden on her than Isaac really had wanted to put on her, especially when he'd woke up from a nightmare with her there at his side, sweeping fingers through his hair only to be met with golden eyes and fear. But Isaac still didn't think she was over Scott, if anything, Isaac assumed she liked him because he reminded her of Scott... ]
I think you should talk to her before you jump to conclusions. [ He knows exactly what Scott meant, that he thought that she wasn't into him anymore because she'd moved onto Isaac. But she'd been so in love with him, twice before, he knows that's impossible to forget. ]