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[jivitadana]

Who: Seta Souji [eatsyourscience] and Arisato Minato [jivitadana]
Where: Third Floor, Room 5 and elsewhere non-descript
When: Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Rating: PG and upwards for conversation about violence and death
Summary: Souji and Minato deal with the aftermath of the past events.
The Story:

Everything had settled, like dust coming to rest, snow or leaves falling gently to the ground. It was somewhat quieter all around again, how it used to be before in the Mansion whenever it was free of events. Everyone who had arrived suddenly just as suddenly disappeared. Everything looked like it was back to normal.

Minato had given himself time to process everything over the past week or so, but he wasn't so sure a week was really enough. How could it have been? After everything, how could it have been?

Besides, he lost a day in there somewhere in that week.

But he couldn't remain where he was, in this state or haze of guilt, helplessness, and regret. He also couldn't avoid what was the inevitable for much longer. He had to talk, and he thought he should be the one to initiate it. It was only right and fair.

The communication device was on the sink counter. Minato got himself out of the tub, fully clothed and dripping wet. He unplugged the drain, then spent the next who knew how many minutes watching the water level slowly descend until hardly anything had remained. The rest would dry up on its own. It was after that Minato had sent a simple text message to Souji, intentionally absent of video or sound, just words across a screen that wouldn't ever be enough.

Can I talk to you?

Minato had always asked it of Souji out of courtesy, already knowing the answer before he even asked it of his friend. And yet this time, it was more like a request, not quite a plea, but something close. And if Minato had to live with rejection, then it was all that he deserved. He left the decision up to Souji who should be able to choose who he wanted to talk to and how he should live his life.

Comments

[jivitadana]

Minato knew it would eventually come to this. They had to talk about this eventually.

He nodded, and then made sure they were both sitting down somewhere, like the bed.

"... I ran into your Mirror."

[eatsyourscience]

Souji went cold and resisted the urge to get to his feet.

"...What did he do?"

[jivitadana]

Minato shook his head, and didn't think Souji should worry so much.

"We talked a little. He told me how he felt. So I wanted to help him."

[eatsyourscience]

"What happened?" No matter how much Minato tried to brush it off, Souji only got more worried. Any meeting with his Mirror couldn't have ended well.

[jivitadana]

Minato knew part of it was his own fault. He should've been more careful, and really, maybe he offered the invitation himself instead of the other way around.

"He said he wanted to kill someone." And that he knew Minato wouldn't mind dying, but Minato kept that to himself. "He didn't though."

[eatsyourscience]

Souji stared for a moment at Minato.

"...Did you die?"

[jivitadana]

Minato didn't and couldn't lie. It was going to come out at some point.

He nodded. He had. He quietly described the injuries he had sustained, that stab wound to the stomach, the laceration up his back, the cut from his eye down his cheek. And in the end, he had taken that last breath, only to wake up exactly where he had been the day before.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji has never been the type to anger easily or often. He could count the number of times he'd raised his voice in anger on one hand. Usually, he didn't have a problem rationalizing situations and behavior, calming himself, responding with a level head. But this? There was no way he could be calm about it.

"Why didn't you stop him?"

He kept his voice low and neutral, but his clenched fists gave away his frustration. He wasn't even sure if he was more angry with his Mirror or with Minato.

[jivitadana]

Minato on the other hand was calm. He was also apologetic underneath his already soft-spoken tone.

There were so many reasons why. Minato didn't have to give all of them to Souji. Souji had known Minato well enough too.

"Because I would have done it on my own after what I did to you."

[eatsyourscience]

"Stupid." Souji mutters it as he bows his head and rubs at his eyes with one hand, so it's muffled, nearly inaudible. The next thing he says is clearer, though he doesn't lift his head.

"How is that supposed to help?"

[jivitadana]

"It doesn't." Not in the long run. Soaking in the tub for hours also only numbed anything Minato had felt, but that ended up just as ineffective. It still hurt. He didn't think it would ever stop hurting.

He hesitated for a moment before he sat on the floor beside Souji who was still sitting on the bed.

"... I'm sorry."

[eatsyourscience]

Souji doesn't respond for a long moment and silence settles between them, brittle and impenetrable at the same time. Then he takes a breath and lets his hands fall away from his face.

"I can't make it so that you won't feel like this is your fault." Only time and Minato himself could do that. Knowing Minato, it would be awhile.

"There will be events when either of us might do something like this again to the other. If we give up because of it, then we lose and Wonderland wins."

It felt like an over-simplification, but it was true. There weren't many things they could control here; their own relationships had to be one area in which they forced their autonomy.

[jivitadana]

Those words sunk in deep inside Minato where he knew his guilt and remorse was residing. The last thing he wanted was for Souji to have to be the one comforting him. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right.

"I'm sorry."

Minato said it again, if just to apologize if he gave the impression that he had given up. Wonderland was already eating him alive on the inside if it was going to steal his memories and now violate him even more mentally. That was something he had to live with here, it seemed. That was the price to pay for being here. For being alive.

"I want to know how you really feel then."

[eatsyourscience]

"...I don't know." Souji looked at his hands. He could at least tell Minato how he didn't feel. "I'm not afraid of you."

[jivitadana]

"Thank you." Minato wasn't sure if he should be taking comfort in that, but he did take it at face value for now. He couldn't ask for much more.

He brought out his Evoker yet again and had Messiah drop Salvation on Souji. He didn't care how many times he had to do it. But it still didn't make things that much better. It wouldn't change the past nor heal any mental scars.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji understood the gesture for what it was.

"Things will get better."

[jivitadana]

Minato held onto the hope that it would, and the soft breath that left him resigned himself to that hope. But it meant that where they were wasn't all that great.

"I'd hug you, but I'm soaking wet."

It wasn't exactly that as an excuse. He didn't know if Souji would even allow that, not after anything. He was already surprised Souji had come to see him at all.

[eatsyourscience]

"You could do something about that." Souji couldn't help a small smile.

[jivitadana]

Minato didn't hesitate then to get up and give Souji that hug. He held him close, just like he had done before when Souji needed it after he had revived from his third death.

This wasn't going to change anything from the past, but maybe it would make the present more tolerable and the future better.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji had meant that as a suggestion to dry off, but this was really a better alternative, even if he did get a bit damp as he returned the embrace. He needed this more than to be dry, at the moment, and he knew Minato did too.

[jivitadana]

A soft sigh left Minato, though he wasn't sure if it was relief or resignation or something in between.

"I want things to get better for us."

But more for Souji, but if Minato only mentioned Souji, then he'd never hear the end of it of how they should get better for himself as well. But he meant the two of them together as a unit, their friendship and anything that they had shared together.

[eatsyourscience]

"They will."

Souji was confident they would. Wonderland had a way of dragging a person's emotional well-being through a landfill containing only biohazardous trash, but things always evened out. The pendulum always swung back in the other direction eventually, just like it had at home.

[jivitadana]

"I know you're being positive. I have to be too."

Minato smiled a little, and leaned a little more into Souji before he finally did let him go, though he would hug Souji the second he thought Souji needed it, or if he needed it himself.

"Sorry I got you all wet."

[eatsyourscience]

Souji shook his head. "It's okay. I don't mind it."

He rested his elbow on his knee and his chin on his hand. "I'll wait if you want to dry off and change."

[jivitadana]

"Thanks." Minato should do that before he got sick. Sitting around in a tub all day couldn't have been healthy.

Minato disappeared into the bathroom with a new set of clothes. It took him a few minutes to clean up, dry off, and get himself dressed again. When he returned, he was in another T-shirt of sorts and jeans.

"Can I ask what you did after we parted?"