entrancelogs | (LOG) Haru/Rin -- Complete

Who: Souma Hatsuharu (carryherhome) and Souma Rin (depended).
Where: Rin's room.
When: .. A while back. So sorry for the delay, but it's hard logging with a 14 hour difference. ;__;
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Rin finally gives in to letting Haru see her after he finds out why she really dumped him.
The Story:

With no way to get to Akito, now that he was here - wherever that was supposed to be - Haru had nothing to direct his anger at. But unlike all the other times, this time was different. It felt different. He could have trashed anything he could get his hands on, maybe even wrecked parts of the building itself, but... what was that going to do? It wouldn't help Rin. It wouldn't do anything to Akito.

Still angry, but in a way that felt much more focused than he'd ever felt whenever he'd gone 'Black' and ended up completely out of control, Haru managed to get a handle on his fury. He had to wait. Had to get back. Visit Akito.

But that was easier said than done. No way out? That was a problem.

Then... that wasn't really an issue anymore. Rin was here. She didn't sound okay, but she was here. And now he was on his way to find her - the fact that all the rooms had numbers helped when it came to finding the right floor and then the right door. Haru glanced at the next couple of those he saw as he passed a few more doors. Almost there.

Although she didn't want to admit it, Rin had never felt as terrified as she had back then. Just when everything seemed to have taken the right course, she reached a dead end. Rather, she had been completely pushed off the road in all honesty. Perhaps now, she would never really know what had been in that stupid box — if there was anything in it to begin with.

But that was just it: the box. The box that could have really had the solutions for all the problems they had .. The problems Haru had. The fright had been replaced with silent frustration now, frustration that she had failed once again. Rin silently cursed to herself as she brought her legs closer to her chest; burying her face between her knees and squeezing her eyes close to keep the dizziness at bay.

It never really helped to get this way, anyway. It usually ended with her either passing out or having to rush to the bathroom to throw up. Besides, Haru was coming now and it wouldn't help either of them at all if she was seen in this state. Summoning what strength she had left, Rin pushed herself to her feet and lightly swayed; regaining her balance before she fell again. It was a bit cold now that she had discarded her coat and boots, but it wasn't anything she couldn't bare.

Reaching up, Rin pressed her fingertips to her jaw; letting out a small hiss. Akito had managed to land a punch right there before she had .. Disappeared? Meaning it would probably bruise.

".. Bastard." It wasn't "nice" but it was the truth.

There. Room number 233. Haru stopped in front of the door, briefly checking the number, before he tried the door handle. The door wasn't locked. He gave it a push and it complied, opening. Rin's voice - he'd heard it just now. Good, it was the right room.

"Who?" As he stepped into the doorway, Haru's gaze fell on Rin. He had a hunch about what he'd overheard and he couldn't blame her for what she had said. This time, a harsh word didn't even seem enough for the person it was probably intended for. Haru took another step into the room. And then, now that he was inside, he crossed the rest of the distance left between him and Rin to make his way towards her.

He had caught her off-guard again, and it was a bit ironic due to the fact that the same deal had happened once before. Swallowing, Rin removed that hand from her face as casually as possible and looked away; making sure that her injured side was out of view. "No one," she answered simply, even if there was no point in lying. He probably knew who it was, so it wouldn't matter much either way.

With a bit of hesitance, Rin moved her eyes from the carpeted floor to Haru; her breath lightly hitching. He knew everything that had happened — from the incident that left her hospitalized to why she had reacted the way she had. There was no point in putting up an act any longer, but there was a side of her that prevented just that. Maybe it was her pride, hurt from all the events that had occurred previously .. Or maybe it was just that impulse to protect him.

Releasing the breath she had been holding, Rin turned her head to fully face him; seeming to care less if he saw what he did.

No one? Maybe no one who was actually here. Haru watched Rin in silence for a moment or two. While he was relieved to see her, these thoughts made it hard to let go of the anger he felt towards Akito, even if Akito wasn't even here. That anger was still there, just below the surface. If Akito somehow ended up here...

Haru moved a little closer and brought up one of his hands to touch Rin's face. He could see that something - someone? - had obviously hit her one on side of her face, the side her hand had been covering a few minutes ago. His expression darkened. Did Akito think he could get away with hurting Rin? With coming close to killing her?

Rin unconsciously flinched at the touch. Even if it was familiar, having had so much contact with Haru during the early part of her life, it still managed to feel a bit — unusual? It wasn't a bad kind, however, since it could probably be in part for having gone so much time without the familiarity. A bit too long.

Her hands rose in a late reaction, lightly gripping his arm in an attempt to pull his own hand away. But even if she got as far as that, she couldn't bring herself to break what little feel she had of him. Part of her wanted to break down and cry, just as she had done in front of Tohru. But that wasn't enough to ease the pain, so why would this instance be any different?

Fright made its way into her eyes again once she caught sight of his expression, the grasp she had on his arm merely tightening at that.

Haru frowned, first noticing the flinch and then Rin's hands on his arm and the expression that had appeared in her eyes. Slowly, he lowered his hand, forcing himself to push aside his rage to the best of his ability. At least it seemed easier this time; he knew what he wanted to do and what he was doing and he could ignore it - for now. He didn't like seeing the fear in Rin's eyes. That shouldn't be there, not when they were together.

"Rin..." His other hand came up, brushing over Rin's hands on his arm. He didn't know what he could say to her now. He wanted to reassure her and tell her that it was okay to trust him. He wanted to protect her for once, on his own. "Did Akito do that to you?"

Her hold on his arm loosened a little, but she wasn't going to let go just yet. It was relieving to see his expression change, even if it was a little. She didn't want Haru to be upset over the mistakes she had made or the actions she had carried on. It had all been a result of her headstrong attitude, in her perspective, and he wasn't to blame for anything.

At the questioning of Akito, Rin swallowed again but still kept her gaze on his face. It took another moment or two of thought before she finally answered with a small nod and looked away; almost in shame of that mark on her jaw. "It doesn't hurt." She was lying through her teeth, of course, but this was small — it didn't deserve much attention.

Even if it really didn't hurt, that didn't change the fact that it was there. Haru didn't think he needed a straight-out answer to confirm who had hurt Rin. The question wasn't one he had really needed to ask in the first place, either. It bothered him that Akito had hurt Rin - again. It bothered him just as much that it was probably all on his account. Rin had been doing everything for his sake, hadn't she? The frown on his face lingered where it was at that thought.

But now that they were standing here like this, he wanted to hold her and tell her that she could stop. He knew better now. He wasn't going to let anything like that happen again. Or was it already too late for that?

"Do you have ice?" There was going to be a bruise.

"No .." The mere question confused her for no specific reason and that exasperated her. Releasing a sigh, she subconsciously stepped closer to him and tightened the hold on his arm a little more; maybe for comfort and reassurance that he was there. "I don't know, I haven't looked."

That was true. The first thing she had done upon arriving here was .. Fainted? But after she had woken up, everything had slowly started to register in, that is, until she realized Haru was here and that he practically knew everything. The moments after that were dedicating to thinking over what to do and she hadn't been any successful at that.

"It doesn't hurt." She repeated, a bit more firmly this time. She didn't want ice, she wanted him.

"Okay." Haru decided to drop the subject. He'd had his fair share of bruises and knew what they were like - at least it didn't look like this was going to be that serious. That was good. It would have been much harder to try to calm down otherwise. His gaze dropped to glance at Rin's hands and he moved his back up to place it on top of one of hers. "Rin... I'm glad you're here."

Right now, that was all that really mattered to him. He knew that Yuki and everyone else were okay - they had to be back home, since they didn't seem to be here - so he didn't need to wonder about their whereabouts or safety for the time being. And Akito was out of reach. Haru stepped closer again and placed his hands on Rin's shoulders. He could stop being angry. Rin was safe.

Her first instinct at his nearness was to draw away and keep it as it had been, but all she could do was flinch slightly. Besides, any drawing back from her part would result in falling flat against the floor. Instead, she looked up at him; weariness making its appearance on her features.

"I .." She started, trailing off and frowning. This time around, it wasn't a frown of anger of frustration. Rather, it was one that was composed mostly of .. Sadness. She didn't know where to start. The reason of him coming by wasn't just because he wanted to see her. Rin felt the need of having to explain why she had done what she did — even if she didn't know why it was so prolonged.

Rin swallowed. "I didn't want you to find out."

Haru felt the flinch under his hands, but he kept them where they were, letting them stay lightly on Rin's shoulders. He was silent, his gaze fixed on her face as he studied the expression there and waited. He did want to hear some kind of explanation and try to understand - he thought he'd known Rin, but maybe that still needed work. He didn't want anything like what had happened to happen again.

But at the same time, he could see her apparent exhaustion. It wasn't a good idea to keep pushing now, right? Things could wait, as long as they were together.

Haru shook his head slightly. "Why not, Rin?"

"Because he would hurt you," she replied furiously, her emotions taking a complete turn. Her eyes were now starting to sting with the tears that had begun to well up, the ones she had held back for far too long. She had met Akito's rage first hand, after she had taken the blame upon herself, so she knew what he was capable of and she didn't want Haru to go over the same.

That was especially if Akito ever did come to find out how far they had actually gone. He knew that they had been together, but not to what extent. The very thought of that terrified her, but only for a brief moment. Releasing a breath through her clenched teeth, she struggled to keep her breath relatively even. She wasn't about to cry now.

"It was my fault."

Hurt him? Haru blinked, as if the idea hadn't crossed his mind - no, he knew that Rin had a valid point, but if Akito knew everything, why would he have blamed Rin? It hadn't been Rin who had taken the first step. It hadn't been Rin's fault. Nothing had. And Akito had already hurt Rin, not him. He didn't care if Akito tried to hurt him. He could deal with that himself.

Frowning, partly at Rin's words and partly at the fact that there were tears in Rin's eyes, Haru shook his head again. "Akito hurt you," he said. One of his hands left Rin's shoulders and neared her face, cautiously tracing the bruise there on her skin. "He had no right to do that, Rin. You didn't do anything." He paused, lowering his hand. "You don't have to protect me."

He wanted to protect her for once instead, on his own.

Rin's breath hitched at his contact with the sensitive skin on her face, although she did find it particularly soothing. Then again, any contact from Haru was positive, even if it brought down her wall of defenses so easily. Maybe it wasn't a "wall" to begin with. Rather, it could have probably been a paper thin barrier to keep him back.

"I don't think it ever mattered to him, what he had a right to do and what he didn't." She probably would have had another sour comment to go along with that one, but Rin just wasn't in the mood to do so. The girl was silent for a few moments, before she remembered something rather alarming from before that sent a pang to her stomach.

"You didn't have to go find Akito," Rin whispered, glad that he hadn't actually made it to him before he had ended up here. The thought of the possibilities scared her greatly and she felt the urge to hold onto him, but kept that urge back.

That was probably true. If Akito was 'God'... he had to think he could do whatever he wanted. But not even Akito had any right to do what he'd done to Rin. He didn't have any right to get away with it - and if he ever laid a finger on Rin again...

Haru tried to push back the resurfacing anger. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Rin's shoulders. "You didn't have to do anything for my sake," he retorted, his voice still in its normal, calm tone in spite of his thoughts. He didn't want to think about what else could have happened if Rin hadn't ended up here instead of remaining wherever she had been before - somewhere that wasn't the hospital?

Keeping himself from tightening his grip, Haru pulled away a little to look at her.

At first, Rin's arms had fallen and remained at her sides, not moving until she summoned the strength actually respond and place her hands behind his back. It was better off when she wasn't holding herself back, so it couldn't be completely bad to "let go" when she couldn't tolerate it anymore.

His pulling away interrupted her thoughts rather abruptly and it confused her as to why he had. She was the first one to pull back most of the time, although the methods she had used to do so weren't exactly her most favorite. Maybe this would be the right time to tell him another reason for why she had done what she did.

She was thinking of that box again. As long as she never got to see what was in it, it would continue to haunt her. Surely, it would wear off after time, but until she saw Haru truly happy .. It would still bother her. "I couldn't find your happiness."

Happiness? Haru tilted his head. His arms were still resting loosely around Rin - he didn't want to let go if he could help it - and now his hands moved a little lower, stopping below Rin's shoulder blades. Since when did Rin have to make herself bear a responsibility like that? If he hadn't been happy, it was because she'd suddenly grown distant, always trying to push him away. It didn't mean the end of the world, no, but it had hurt - maybe he was the one who needed Rin and who had wanted to be with her too much? So that had made him angry, at first. After a while, he'd tried to understand the reasoning behind that claim of hers, that she didn't need him anymore.

But happiness... When Rin smiled, when she was safe, when they were together, then he was happy. She didn't have to do anything else.

So he told her what he thought.

"It's already here, Rin. But I want to find yours."

The response he gave her managed to cause some confusion, brows furrowing slightly at that. When she did realize what he meant, though, her eyes widened and she shook her head in disbelief. If anything, she had hurt him more than actually make him happy — and she resented herself for that.

Had what she had made him go through actually worth the sacrifice? She was unsure now, but unsure of what her own happiness was. Several things composed that emotion, all of them centering on Haru. Some of those things seemed impossible to her in this situation, so was it actually possible?

She shook her head. "How? I .. I don't."

Haru moved back in a little closer. "It's my turn," he said. He didn't want anything to happen to Rin ever again. He didn't know whether it was possible to make up for the fact that things had already happened, though, and it was mostly up to her whether it would be okay to be around each other - if she wanted to do things alone, he couldn't hold her back from it. That was something he had come to accept. At least, he thought he had. Maybe it had only been a resigned sort of feeling that had gradually set in.

"Rin...?" Haru met her gaze, looking serious. "Can I find your happiness? I thought it'd be like mine, but I don't know. Anyway, things are different now... You don't have to carry so much responsibility on your own. We can share it. It's okay to turn to other people when you need to." Other people? Him.

Her happiness should come first for her.

"It's scary .." Rin grew silent, clearly remembering the time she had said the same thing to Tohru. It had been a moment of emotional weakness, then. She was tired, frustrated, and on the verge of doing something insane. So was this a moment of emotional weakness? Maybe not. Maybe it was just a moment of admitting something, of feeling as comfortable as she had felt before around Haru.

Maybe it would be a permanent moment where she wouldn't be afraid of telling Haru what her fears were or of how happy she was to be with him without that fear. "Being alone," she finished, blinking rapidly to clear her blurring vision. It resulted in having those tears finally overflow, but to hell with holding them back.

Finally nodding, she spoke up again, rather softly. "I don't want to be alone anymore."

Haru was silent for a moment himself, watching as the tears in Rin's eyes spilled over and fell to make their way down her cheeks. He shook his head. "You're not alone," he replied, letting go of her briefly and bringing his hands up to touch her face. He stayed that way for a few seconds, his gaze continuing to rest on Rin's face. Then, slowly, he brought his own closer, leaning in to brush his lips against hers - first the corner of her mouth and then shifting slightly, more towards the centre.

If she didn't want to be alone, she didn't have to be alone. And he would have waited, anyway.

Rin felt her cheeks heat up upon contact with his hands, along with a momentary urge to turn her head away. Her eyes had widened the moment Haru had moved closer and when she realized what he was going to do. The last thing on her mind was rejecting this, rejecting one of the things she had longed for so much to the point of aching.

But how should she respond? The kiss was gentle, which led her to moving in a way that their lips were fully in contact. Hesitantly, she let her eyes close, hands lightly clutching at the fabric of his shirt. She wasn't about to break away any time soon, not even if she needed to breathe.

Haru didn't want to break away anytime soon, either, and if his lips weren't already busy, he would have smiled when Rin responded to his kiss. It was natural, wasn't it? There hadn't been a time when they hadn't ended up responding to each other like this, one was or another, even if the first time had taken some coaxing and certain more recent ones hadn't gone so well.

He moved closer, just a little more, tilting his head and focusing on re-exploring Rin's lips. One of his hands traveled to her hair, his fingers sliding into it, while the other took up position placed on Rin's back.

The desire she was holding in was gradually starting to accumulate. Moving her hands from his back and along his torso, Rin's hands eventually found their way to his chest and rested there. That was true .. The most recent attempts of a kiss had ended up quite badly. But this time, there would be no pushing away, absolutely no hitting, and running away was the last thing on her mind.

Was it even there to start off? She was starting to doubt that. Now that she felt the way she did with little fear, there was no need to run away.

Rin's heartbeat had begun to quicken as well, pounding so rapidly against her chest that Rin felt it would overpower her. She steadied it, however, along with her breathing. The tenseness in her body also started to subside and Rin focused all her concentration in the kiss. Although she had held the memories of all previous contacts like this close, they certainly didn't match up to the real thing. The intensity of the mere action was almost overwhelming, to the point where her knees almost gave in.

So far so good. Haru pulled Rin closer, gently applying a little more pressure with the hand that was resting on her back to guide her towards him. Closing his eyes, he let Rin wash over his senses – the feeling of her hair against his skin, her familiar warmth and scent, the contours of her body, her heartbeat when he slowly slipped his hand around and ran it up her torso...

Being around Rin was like this every time. He wanted nothing else.

But maybe he had to hold back, at least a little. His actions were what had gotten Rin into trouble, after all. It wouldn't happen again, ever, but that didn't erase what had happened.

Haru clasped Rin to himself, eyes opening again. His lips brushed over hers a few more times. "Can I stay?" he asked, the words landing somewhere near Rin's ear as Haru leaned closer.

She shuddered involuntarily at the closeness, seemingly foreign yet familiar at the same time. The feel of his hand running over her was enough to add to this weakness of hers. She was amazed over how this destroyed her barriers so easily. This must've been why she avoided his touch for so long, since it would have only done more to help her resolve crumble away even quicker. What actually succeeded in driving her to stay away from all of this was a mystery.

Rin breathed in deeply once his pulled away, eyes still closed to enjoy the momentary sensation of the last few kisses. Her eyes eventually fluttered open, somewhat curious until he asked her that one question. How in the world could she say no to this? In this moment in time, it was practically impossible. Rin brought herself to give Haru a nod, trailing her hands along the remainder of his chest so she could wrap her arms around his neck in an embrace. She gently leaned her head against the side of his head and breathed in; the feel of his hair offering a kind of comfort. It wasn't that she wasn't comfortable already, but it was soothing.

"I don't want you to go," she whispered, closing her eyes again.

Haru smiled and shifted slightly where he stood, letting his body remain pressed against Rin's. They fit together well, he decided. They'd done so from the start. And now Rin wasn't pushing him away anymore. Did that mean things between them were fine? He knew better now, after all. He knew not to deceive himself and he knew what to do if Akito tried to place the 'blame' on Rin again.

Haru moved his arms to keep one around Rin's shoulders, while the other rested behind Rin's head. "I'm staying, Rin," he replied. Turning his head, his lips briefly touched Rin's earlobe before Haru straightened up a little, suddenly lifting Rin into his arms properly to pick her up.

"Do you want to go sit somewhere instead of standing here?" He looked at her.

His answer calmed her down, but her eyes widened when she felt her feet leave the ground and her weight seem to become a bit lighter. It took her another second to realize what had happened, but she contemplated on whether telling him to put her down or not. "Haru, I .." Rin started somewhat hesitantly and softly, silencing herself when he spoke up again. No need in telling him to put her down now, because then, she'd be going against herself; she didn't want him to put her down .. And chances were he wouldn't agree with putting her down anyway.

So she just went along with it, answering his question. "The bed?" She offered meekly, pulling back sufficiently to take a good look at him. There were the chairs near the desk at the corner of the room, but they seemed amazingly stiff. Besides, the closeness would be broken then and that was what Rin wanted to avoid right now. It had taken enough from both parts to make her cave in, so now she didn't want to let go.

Her hold on him tightened momentarily while she looked away. For some reason, although she liked it, she couldn't help but feel a bit shy. The reason was beyond her, but it was enough to make her turn a light pink.

Haru's smile softened at the faint colour that had appeared on Rin's face. Even though she wasn't looking at him, he didn't think it was out of embarrassment or anger - she didn't feel like she was about to pull away. Adjusting his grip a little so he was holding onto Rin more comfortably as well as securely, Haru nodded in assent to her suggestion. "Okay."

The bed sounded good. There was enough room for two people to sit side by side without being on separate chairs. He wouldn't need to let go of her.

Satisfied with those options, Haru turned and made his way across the room to where the bed was. Once there, he sat down on the edge, placing Rin on the mattress beside him, but didn't take his arms away, leaving them wrapped around her waist.

She loosened her arms as he sat down, eventually uncoiling them from his neck and placing her hands on his shoulders. Gently moving a bit closer to him, Rin raised her legs and moved them so they were over his. This certainly brought back memories from that time a while back. The circumstances in this situation were a lot more pleasant, though, now that she wasn't afraid of being discovered with Haru or hiding anything concerning their relationship.

There would still .. Be that hesitance, if they were around other people, but not when they were alone. It was something she couldn't brush off so easily, although she would certainly try to. It was a matter of learning to cope with it.

Rin finally pulled back when she felt the color on her cheeks was no longer there, gazing at Haru and giving him a small smile. She had no idea on what to do next, now that she wasn't sure on how he would react to the things she did. Rin’s actions were probably predictable to Haru, since he always caught her off guard.

It was familiar, being here like this, and in spite of everything that had happened, it was still too easy to lose yourself in it. Haru pulled Rin a little closer. No, while holding her was familiar, this
time, it felt different. It wasn't really him working on convincing her to give in to what they both wanted. She didn't seem apprehensive now.

Haru returned the smile Rin gave him when she looked at him again. He was mostly content just to sit here for as long as they wanted without letting go of Rin. The physical closeness had been missing just as much as the Rin he'd known when they were younger. Now that it was back, he wanted to take his time, drinking it in.

And part of him wanted her even more than that. But that could wait.