entrancelogs | ((OPEN)) Enjoy the calm weeks.

Entry tags:

((OPEN)) Enjoy the calm weeks.

Who: Bruce Banner and YOU
Where: Meditation & training room, or anywhere else
When: Throughout the week, from August 4th to 10th.
Rating: No more than PG, I don't think!
Summary: Bruce goes about enjoying a peaceful week. Also meditation and jiu-jitsu sessions just as he mentioned on the network.
The Story:

MEDITATION & TRAINING;

[ Once that particularly shifting event's over and everything returns to normal - or as normal as this place can get -, Bruce goes about setting up a room for a few meditation and jiu-jitsu sessions as he'd arranged with a few people over the network. He finds an empty room right on the first floor, spacious enough, and paves most of it with foam mats, then sets up this really old-looking stereo where they can play a few calming songs if people happen to be into that.

Then, with the whole place looking about decent enough, he sends out quick messages to anyone who'd expressed interest, letting them know which room he took up, and that he'll be there during both early mornings until 10, and late evenings after dinner.

And, of course, if anyone happens to be walking past and the slightly cracked door gets their attention, feel free to take a peek inside. ]

ANYWHERE ELSE;

[ Other than that, Bruce can be found in the usual spots throughout the week. He spends a good amount of his time at the lab, with pauses to go to the kitchen for food, and outside for walks with Juno a few times during the day. Feel free to bump into him anywhere, or if you're seeking him out just come knock on his door! ]

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[ She helps haul him upright, her smile warm and bright as she makes sure he has his balance before she goes for a pair of water bottles, tossing one over to him before uncapping her own. ]

Impressive. I'm glad you said something about looking for a partner. This was fun. At least for me.

[ She figures she should amend that, just in case, although she gives him a playful wink as she does so. ]

[ The bottle practically falls to the floor when she tosses it over, causing him to jump only slightly in surprise. But he does manage to catch it in time, probably after looking a little more ridiculous than he intended to. ]

It was fun for me too. [ He nods, uncapping the bottle and taking a swig from it. ] Surprisingly I didn't mind getting floored by you at all.

Oops.

[ She shoots him an apologetic look as she returns to where he stands, taking another long swallow from hers. ]

You handled yourself really well. And sorry. I didn't think you'd like me taking it too easy on you. I guess it comes from having spent so long sparring with Clint. He gets downright irritable if I hold back too much. How's your backside? [ She adds the question in with a teasing smile, a hint of mischief in green eyes. ]

[ He shakes his head dismissively as he swallows the water, as if telling her it's nothing to apologize for. ]

I wouldn't go so far as to say I'd be upset about it. Actually I'm pretty sure you still held back on me a little, though it might just be for the best that you did [ Who knows how much faster this'd all have ended if she hadn't. But he's not in the habit of letting things like this get to him, all too used he is to coaching his moods and feelings.

He drops his eyes for a moment, lightly smoothing a hand down his back distractedly at the question. ] It's fine. Worst case scenario I'll get a bruise, but I always heal quick.

Not much, but I didn't think we were here for a competition of skills anyway.

[ The sparring part of their morning accomplished, she sinks down on the mat, crossing her legs underneath her as she takes a few moment to cool down, still working her way through her bottle of water. ]

A useful thing, that. How are you feeling? [ She hadn't missed the way he'd loosened up and relaxed during the session, which pleased her. Especially since it almost always worked the same for her. And it's been a while since she's had a chance to sit down and catch up with him. The events had certainly been tossing a lot of unexpected surprises at them lately. ]

[ He follows her lead, taking a seat on the mat and crossing his legs, though for now only relaxing where he sits. Meditation can wait a bit longer. ]

I'm alright. [ His answer short and quick, almost as if he didn't want to answer it. Truth is, he's been having a harder time lately than he'd care to admit, mostly because of the events, but he's just not used to talking about it. When he has issues, he bottles them up and then deals with them by himself. It's been that way for years now.

To have some actually listen, even if they might not help much, it's something he's so unfamiliar with these days. ]

I'm... a little better now, actually. So thanks, really. For this.

You're welcome. I'm feeling better for it, myself.

[ She cocks her head to the side to study him as he makes himself comfortable across from her, taking another measured drink before putting the question out there for him. ]

So what's been on your mind to have you all pensive, Doc?

Just these events.

[ Sitting in a relaxed position, he closes his eyes for only a few moments before looking back at her again. Obviously hesitant to talk about any of this, but at the same time, not making it a point to avoid her question altogether.

He smoothes his hands along his thighs, resting them on his knees with a sigh. ] I'm having a hard time coping, is all. It's been getting... more difficult, with time.

[ She threads her fingers around her bottle, sitting there still and patient across from him, content to remain still and listening for the time being. If he felt like talking, she'd totally encourage that. he looked like he might need to, even if it was something she assumed he wasn't all that used to doing. ]

Can I ask which part?

The part where powers are taken away, actually.

[ He lowers his head a little, with a pause as he tries to think how to even approach the subject. It's a little difficult to explain exactly what's bad about suddenly finding himself without the monster inside waiting to jump out, though he does have a feeling Natasha will understand even if he doesn't get too into it. ]

It's difficult to keep balance afterwards. I like to think i'm still in control, but... I don't know how long that'll last. How many more times I can...

[ Have it taken away, only to be shoved back at him. Every time it feels more and more like a freight train collision. ]

How many more times I can handle any of this.

[ His words give her pause to think, because she hadn't considered this avenue of things. Hadn't realized that these events that changed them, altered their memories, might actually change him. A few blessed days free at a time before coming back to the control he can't falter in. The constant upset of balances. Yes, she could understand. That would fuck with anyone's control. The fact that he'd handled it so far was a testament to the strength of his willpower. ]

I'm sorry. [ She murmurs the words softly after a moment, glancing up to meet his gaze, steady and calm. ] I hadn't pieced together how these were affecting you. What it was actually doing. Is there anything I can do?

[ Bruce himself hadn't noticed at first either, hadn't even thought it a possibility until it actually started happening. It surprised him entirely, one day he just noticed his balance was off. Like having a painting hanging in a wall of his house for years, and one day he wakes up and the painting's crooked - and he doesn't even remember how it happened, just that it did at some point.

Except this has the potential to be far worse than having a painting askew on a wall. That only took a nudge to fix, but not this. ]

I didn't think anyone would notice. [ But it's fine, it's not their fault. They have their own things to worry about, their own lives. This is his burden and his responsibility, not anyone else's. ] It's fine, but there's... nothing, no. For now I just need to keep my head clear. Thank you, though.

[ She studies him thoughtfully a moment. ]

Does the sparring and meditation help with that?

[ Or is this just putting a band-aid on a much larger problem? ]

Meditation does.

[ It's how he learned to control his heart rate to begin with. But by now it's starting to look like he'll have to do that all the time if he wants to keep himself in check. ]

Sparring's a good outlet, at least.

[ She gives that a moment of thought, pondering about his predicament. ]

Does the pressure of it ease if you do transform for a bit? Does it abate in the aftermath?

[ There's still a lot about this she doesn't understand. About him. She wants to. ]

[ Usually he's not a big fan of talking about his condition with others, but some people are just… it's different. Natasha's different. He didn't really know her all that well when he'd arrived here but he's grown to trust her much more now, and to care about her too.

And when she asks, he trusts she has no hidden intentions, and why would she, really? Most of all, he's not uncomfortable with telling her these things at all. ]

Oh yes. But that might also be because I practically pass out and sleep for nearly days on end. And when I'm not sleeping, I'm eating.

[ Some strange though not entirely unexpected metabolic reaction. ] I get really weak. So in that sense I guess it does abate.

[ She nods, filing that information away with a thoughtful look. ]

I imagine it would use up a lot of energy, yes. Have you considered... allowing a transofrmation in order to relieve some of the pressure, when you're worried about it getting too bad?

[ She's not sure voluntary transformation's something he's alright with, short of a world-ending alien invasion. ]

I did. But... [ He looks at her for a moment before dropping his gaze, choosing his words quite consciously when he finishes. ] I'm scared it might not be safe.

[ This place is only so big after all. And even if it were bigger, it'd still be a risk. ] Forest seems like the safest place, but how do I know I've walked deep enough that he won't find his way out?

Perhaps you could take someone with you? Or have the team on alert, on the perimeter. You worked with us well enough in New York, perhaps the Other Guy would let us do the same here.

[ It's at least one possibility, although she's sure they could think of others if this turned out to be the best solution for him. ]

[ They're all good ideas, even if not ideally what Bruce would prefer, and he keeps them in mind. But he won't give them much thought for now, not when he doesn't even have a proper plan just yet. ]

That's true, though I'd prefer... [ Not getting anyone involved, but when has he ever been that lucky? It's best to ask someone he trusts minimally than to risk having the other guy run into someone else's path. ] I'll remember those. Thanks.

Preferences aren't always the easy option here. [ She agrees with his unfinished sentence, her smile rueful. ]

It's not like the wilds of Canada or the depths of India are an option here.

You're right. My bad. [ He has no illusions about this. Sometimes it's not even about it being an easy option, but a safe one, or even being an option to begin with. ]

I'll have to make do with what little I have somehow.

I'm sure you'll make it work, all the same. You're resourceful like that.

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((OPEN)) Enjoy the calm weeks.

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