entrancelogs | [Semi-Closed] Event Aftermaths

Entry tags:

[Semi-Closed] Event Aftermaths

Who: Natasha Romanoff and various friends/teammates
Where: Around the Manor
When: The days following the Mirror Event and Hunt for the Sword
Rating: PG-13ish?
Summary: Catch-all post for Natasha touching base with the newly-returned people who got sucked to the Other Side
The Story:

With the sword handed over to the Queen of Hearts and the Mirrors now returning to their own side, Natasha's both a little relieved and more than a little worried about what this will mean for the returningReals who were trapped over there. The fact that she's one of the only few on her team that didn't end up transitioning over at some point is not lost on her, has her wondering why and for what purpose, but she suspect she knows all the same. Which is why she spends the immediate first few days once more combing the Manor, this time searching out her teammates and friends she knows were drawn to the Other Side and making sure they'd returned mostly unharmed.

And if she had to start composing apologies for what her Mirror might have done over there. At the very least, she wanted to know more, if they were willing to tell her.

[[OOC: This is a Semi-Closed log for some pre-arranged threads to deal with the fallout of encounters with her Mirror Side, or the visit to the Mirror Side in general. Interested in threading out something with her, feel free to ping me!]]

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"So who did you encounter?" Natasha asks instead, settling back in the chair and getting comfortable, her hands folded in her lap. "Bucky? The others.... most of the others were running around over here, from who all I bumped into."

Even though it makes perfect sense that Natasha would ask that, somehow it still comes as a shock to Pepper. Between that and the way her muscles tighten when she mentions Bucky's name, the answer is likely evident without Pepper having to speak it. Or perhaps she hopes it is, as she's quick to gloss over Natasha's questions in favor of her own.

"Are you alright? I can't imagine the ones who were here were any better."

"Guessed it in one, didn't I?" And considering she knew exactly who Bucky's mirror had been, that was understandable. Except now they were all going to have to deal with a lot of fallout for the secrets they'd kept. She sighs, massaging the bridge of her nose for a moment.

"I'm fine. And no, they weren't. Equally bad, at the very least, there were just a lot of them."

She hesitates, then nods her head a single time. Without fully realizing she does so, Pepper wraps one arm around her torso, and brings the other hand to her throat. She's felt worse pain than anything that man did, thanks to Killian. There's not even a mark on her body to indicate she'd been done harm. Yet being stabbed and shot, and strangled with metalic fingers each stands out, unique sensations that haunt her thoughts. She swallows thickly, takes a deep breath just to remind herself that she can, and continues the conversation to prove she's able.

"I'm glad they didn't hurt you." They, or she. What must her opposite be like, especially if somehow they hold the same power?

Edited 2014-09-26 23:44 (UTC)

Natasha watches the physical reaction with a slight frown, seeing far more than perhaps Pepper would be comfortable with, because yes, those moves are telling, especially knowing what she does of the Winter Soldier's preferred style of fighting. She reaches out, lays a hand lightly on Pepper's knee.

"Will you tell me what happened?" she asks softly.

"I don't know how much there is to tell." Except that's a lie, as blatant as every other signal Pepper doesn't mean to convey. The truth is just as simple, and likely just as obvious: Pepper doesn't want to tell Natasha, or anyone else. She doesn't want to risk reliving those details, not when they already haunt her so frequently.

Yet this is the woman she trusted after Killian, who she and Tony both told everything to. Pepper doesn't know if sharing the truth with someone else will help; of course she's heard that it does, and given such advice in the past. Yet now that she's the one with the burden, it's impossible for her to see just what might relieve her of some of its weight.

"I know he's a soldier." Their Bucky, the one from their world who shares coffee and gossip and swing dances with Pepper. She's known all along he's been in a war, fought for good reasons and great causes. So should it be so much of a surprise that his opposite would hold the same position, but with so much more cruelty than the man she considers her friend? "I guess it makes sense that his mirror would be too. But having someone with that face come after me..."

She shakes her head, not able to continue just yet. It's a start, but it doesn't make the rest of it come any easier.

"What he is over there..." Natasha starts, then stops again, pressing her lips together in a displeased frown for a moment, because this is not her secret or story to tell. It is Bucky's and his alone. And the brief encounter she'd had with him on this side had shown him to be even more ruthless and dangerous than she remembered.

"Yes, he's a soldier, but to say that that version of him is merely that is like saying Tony is smart. And it's so much harder, when an enemy wears the face of someone you know, someone you trust even. That was the worst thing about this entire mess. I think everyone is questioning themselves and who they trust now. But it's also the worst possible thing, because we still need each other. We haven't changed."

She glances over, studying Pepper's face intently for a moment. "Have you spoken to him since you've been back?"

Pepper frowns in confusion for a moment; she was unaware the Bucky wound up being pulled over just as she had, although much later on. Natasha's knowledge thus seemed to lack foundation, but in the end, she's right. Pepper is questioning so much, afraid of faces she should be turning to for comfort. She knows it, has all along, and yet that hasn't kept her from locking her door or ignoring her phone.

So when Natasha blatant asks if she's run into Bucky, there's no hiding the guilt in her choice. "No." She could point out that she hasn't spoken to anyone besides Tony, and now Natasha herself, but it's a weak defense at best. It isn't fair to Bucky, or even to herself--but then again, what about this is?

"I can't sleep." Tony confessed something so similar to her, not all that long ago. Now Pepper thinks she can understand why, those nightmares that kept him up at night. "Whenever I do, it's him, or Killian, or fire--there's always something there. I don't know how to make it stop."

Natasha holds her gaze with a serious expression for a moment, understanding written in her face. "Fear works differently for everyone," she answers after a moment, choosing her words carefully. Sometimes she doesn't feel equipped to deal with conversations like this, when she sometimes looks at things so differently than everyone else. But she tries anyway.

"I can't tell you what to do, Pepper. They're your fears and you need to learn to cope with them in a way that's healthy and good for you. I understand the need to... hide away for a bit, to try and find your feet again and there's nothing wrong with that, but in the end... the things that frighten you are still out there and sometimes hiding from them just make them seem loom all the bigger outside your door, waiting to be faced. You have had an intense couple of weeks and there is a lot on your plate and it can be so very overwhelming. I know that."

"Killian's not here, so I there's little you can do on that end, other than try and console yourself with the knowledge that he won't be there waiting for you back home, not for long at least, because he is gone and you are safe. Both you and Tony, and happier than ever, even though I daresay things are never exactly quiet."

"Bucky's a different matter though. He's still here, or a version of him anyway, and the Mirror side of things does not seem so closely involved, since we've only encountered each other once in all the time we've been here. But you can't let your fear of... of a shadow keep you hidden away from the people that can help. You're not helpless here, Pepper. The only one who can make you feel safe is you."

"I met your Mirror, by the way," she adds, the words almost sounding like a tangent, but there's a point to this, to why she brings it up, and she holds Pepper's gaze meaningfully for a moment. "You're not the only one who's having to learn how to control the Extremis situation."

She listens silently, carefully to everything Natasha has to say. In those moments Pepper realizes how little she knows about the woman across from her, but how much she also assumes. Natasha speaks as Pepper would imagine if she'd faced any number of fears, had them haunting her but refusing to hide away. Perhaps that isn't a groundless thought, given how she'd fought in New York, not to mention the work she's probably done for SHIELD. Either way, the advice is good: solid and sound, peppered with reassurances about both here and home.

"I know." Just before the end, when Natasha reminds her that she is not alone, yet she must also be self-reliant. Both things are true, and she swallows and smiles, wondering how to form words out of the foggy mess fear has turned her thoughts into. "I'm just not normally the one falling apart." That's her gift after all, to put together the chaos. It's just so much easier to do when it's not coming from inside her own head. She's the woman who never cried when Tony had been taken, her world shattered not for the last time, but definitely for the first. She hadn't shed a single tear until that day in the limo, after Tony was safe again.

Now she can't count how many times she's broken down in the past few weeks. It isn't easy, going out to face those fears when she's afraid they might make her shatter.

When Natasha continues, it's seemingly on a different track, Pepper startled by the sudden revelation. "You did? She didn't hurt you, did she?" Because again, Pepper has assumed, and Natasha confirms it for her when she reveals that alternate version also has Extremis.

"It makes sense." Pepper glances away, this as difficult to talk about as the rest for her. "I mean, it feels like I was sent home just to get Extremis. I figured she would probably have it too."

"All of us need a little time to fall apart once in a while," Natasha answers, giving her a rueful smile for a moment, understanding in her gaze. "Despite everything we do, everything that happens, we're still only human. We're not equipped to take everything in stride, to not get rattled by some of it. No matter what appearances we put up for the rest of the world."

Pepper's surprise at least jolts her out of the trend her thoughts have been dwelling on for the past few moments, divert her in a new direction and Natasha follows that path with a slight nod. "No, she didn't. She wasn't all that happy with me, because she was trying to get into the lab and I wasn't feeling overly accommodating. She does, however, have an interesting handle on her Extremis abilities. It let me see firsthand what you might be capable of doing, with a little control and practice."

"Only human." She makes a sound that might be laugh, glancing off to the side. Pepper's wondered more than once if she qualifies for that distinction any longer, and her trip to the other side of the mirrors hasn't eased that doubt. Still, Natasha in inarguably right about the rest, and Pepper's glad for that understanding.

It's a stray thought, easily put aside when Natasha continues with her own experiences. She sighs quietly in relief at the confirmation that Natasha had kept her opposite from the lab, and presumably from Tony there within. But that isn't the point being made, and Pepper can't help her curiosity as Natasha reveals that the other Pepper apparently has some mastery over their shared powers. "You mean she can control it?" It feels impossible, especially if they've had Extremis for the same amount of time. Yet this isn't Natasha's brand of lie, leaving Pepper to wonder just what difference accounts for those ends. Her time in that alternate Wonderland has left Pepper with more than one realization, and at last she looks directly at her friend.

"It saved me. Extremis, I mean." The clarification probably isn't necessary, but Pepper continues on. "He would have killed me if I hadn't been able to heal, and it was the only thing that let me get away."

"Yes," Natasha confirms, still perfectly serious as she meets Pepper's gaze. "Only human. As human as I am. Or Tony, who can do things now that would have never been possible ten years ago before terrible things happened to him. Or like Steve or Bruce, both who were changed from who they were. We're all human, Pepper. What was done to any of them doesn't change that. It doesn't change it for you either."

She lets Pepper come to her own realization about that, and about the abilities she now had to come to terms with. The fact that it had saved her life - again - was an important point

"It seems fairly reliable about doing that. And yes, she could control it. To an extent. I didn't stick around long enough to see ow much, but she could focus it. Use it as both defense and offense. She was... impressive."

High praise, coming from Natasha.

Natasha says exactly what Pepper expects her to, but again, those are words she needs to hear outside of her own head. Of course the woman is right; Pepper's never thought those people anything other than human, regardless of whatever serums or hardware they live with. Why should she be an exception to that allowance, when it's solely based on the misery that eats away at her now?

The rest serves as sufficient distraction, has Pepper leaning back in her chair as she thinks over the appraisal of what her mirror could do, and what she herself might in theory. It really is high praise, and the unasked question--or perhaps the unstated suggestion--rest heavily on Pepper's shoulders. Just how far does she want to go with this? Learning to keep the devastating effects of Extremis in check is one goal, but now Pepper has to decide if she wants to embrace it. How far into this world does Pepper really want to walk, when she's seen such terrible things come of it back home?

"That's good to know." She comes back to the present with a weak smile and a non-committal answer, at least for now. She's got her inclinations, but Pepper is rarely one to rush in. She wants to think about it with a clear head, once she's separated herself from the trauma a bit more.

Natasha just laughs softly under her breath and gives Pepper a warm smile. She's at least given her something to think about other than the fears over what had happened, and she pushes herself to her feet again. "I'll let you think it over, but you know where to find me when you're ready. Or if you need anything. You know you can ask. In the meantime, try not to hide in here all day. Otherwise I'll start sending random Avengers in to pester you and not all of them use the door."

"Oh, well in that case..." She silent for the most part, but thankful as she stands to walk Natasha out. But Pepper supposes it wouldn't do to end their conversation on an entirely serious note, regardless of how heavy it had been. Not that she doubts Natasha would have one or more of them knock her door down, but it's still a threat made in good humor.

"I promise, I won't keep myself locked in here all day." Maybe after Natasha goes, Pepper can will herself to leave the lock open, if not the door itself. Small steps, and she's got more to think about than what she's been through now. "Thank you, Natasha."

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[Semi-Closed] Event Aftermaths

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