[closed]

[wickedwest]

Who: Zelena, Regina, and Rumple
Where: The hallway on the eighth floor
When: Today
Rating: PG or PG-13? I don't know, there's probably no horrible violence or anything, just crazy faces and drama.
Summary: Resolving the dagger stalemate in the most ridiculous way possible
The Story:

You know, Zelena had all this planned out. She'd take Regina's heart, wait a while to see if anyone was dumb enough to come after her, and then use the heart to take the dagger, use the dagger to get a brain, and then well, the last part of the puzzle should be so easy to obtain she doesn't even really have a plan for it.

But then Wonderland decided to be Wonderland, so instead she got to sit through a hot springs trip for a few days. Because that was exactly what she needed right now. So like with the Regina thing, forget planning, she's just going to strike now before Wonderland has the chance to be Wonderland again.

Which is why she'll just wait for him to venture out into the hallway (but far enough down it that she won't notice anyone sneaking in and out of her room) and then appear, with the dagger inside her pocket and Regina being dragged along with her because dammit, sis, you're helping if you want to keep breathing.

“I'd say surprise, but then again, we all saw this coming,” she says, taking the dagger out so she can shove it in his face if needed.

“So hand over your dagger while you still can. After all, no one here's stupid enough to think that you'd willingly spin me a brain at this point, so why bother playing nice?”

Comments

[undealt]

That was

unplanned.

Much like the entirety of his evening, because unlike everyone else here, Gold did not have a clever scheme in mind for how this all might go down. Poor judgment, combined with his own belief that he couldn't possibly land in the same situation twice.

And now, as he lays sprawled unceremoniously in the hallway, he realizes he was very wrong and that he should always, always have a plan. It did wonders for him in Storybrooke. It would do wonders for him here too. In the future, presuming he has one.

Not willing to be defeated just yet, Gold tries to gather himself to his feet, caught off-balance by the explosion of magic and tries to beat Zelena to the dagger, which is going to work just as well as everything else has so far, probably.

See aforementioned statement about always having a plan.

[madehervows]

The good thing about being knocked on her ass by Zelena so many times in Storybrooke is that when it happens again, you're more equipped to deal with it. It still hurts, and she's thrown back a good distance but she knows how to avoid hitting her head now. Such a useful skill, one that will no doubt come in handy many times in the future.

Regina barely has time to get her to feet before Zelena is squeezing her heart, making her wince before she tries to figure out exactly how she's supposed to keep him busy. Magic's out. She might be powerful but she's not stupid enough to go up against the Dark One, not when his dagger is at stake.

So the magical compulsion comes to an idea before her brain does. Which is how Regina finds herself attempting to tackle Rumplestiltskin.

[undealt]

Gold could have prepared for magic. It's the complete insanity of what Regina is doing that baffles him and allows her to actually succeed. He hits the ground on his back with a snarl of pain and in lieu of anything else, he taps into something primal and tries to get his hands around her throat.

Considering how many times he's contemplated breaking her neck, it might even be more a latent desire than an actual lapse in judgment. It wouldn't solve his problem right now, but it might actually make him feel better.

[madehervows]

Regina only manages to stop one hand from gripping her throat, pinning it against the floor by the wrist as her breathing gets restricted. Instead of trying to get the hand away from her throat, she shoves a hand against Gold's face and conjures a fireball in it. Sure, she's still magically compelled to distract Gold but she'll be damned if she lets him choke the life out of her to do it.

[wickedwest]

Good job guys, guess who's got the dagger now? And despite the fact that she is absolutely okay with the thought of Gold and Regina murdering each other right here and now, she sort of needs them both alive right now. So reluctantly, very reluctantly, she'll try and get their attention. Though seeing as she has the heart and the dagger, she expects it'll be a bit more effective than trying.

“Now then, there's no need to fight. After all, you're both on my side now.”

And of course she's going to address Rumple specifically because this whole thing is essentially his fault if you ask her. And then if you ask later, it's Cora's fault. Or maybe Regina's. And then Rumple's again. And then Regina's. And so on and so forth.

“I told you you were going to lose, dearie.”

Mercifully, she's just going to mock him with his own speaking habits and not make weird hand gestures or anything like that. But not because it'd be weird or anything like that. It's more that she doesn't want to drop the dagger or accidentally stab Regina's heart or anything like that. Because that would just be embarrassing.

[undealt]

Oh. Right. Magic is a thing. Gold draws back abruptly, but doesn't really save himself from being just a little bit unpleasantly scorched, as he tries to shove Regina away from him. It'll heal. The Dark One is nothing if not resilient and also fire cannot burn a lizard.

(This is a lie. Fire hurts a lot.)

Once he's managed to liberate himself from uncertain fire and damnation, he's in a fairly undignified heap on the floor, scorched and panting and glowering at Zelena with more loathing than he's probably ever given anyone. Except maybe his father. And Hook. Actually, it's probably the same amount of loathing. He has a lot of anger.

"I haven't lost yet." No, he's definitely lost. This is definitely exactly where he left off, as if he never really got his freedom. It sickens him and all he has left is his pride and some hope for an upper hand.

[madehervows]

Regina lets herself be shoved, the fireball in her hand going out with the successful implementation of at least one of her plans today. She remains on the floor, taking in a few deep breaths and not looking at either of them.

"So what now? Even with the dagger, you can't get a baby in a land where time doesn't move."

They're all on the same side now so you can tell them what you plan to use in place of the Nolan baby, right? C'mon sis. She swallows thickly, sparing a glance at Gold. Maybe they can take her by surprise and tackle her together?

Wishful thinking, alas. They should probably just wait for Zelena to finish so they can retreat and lick their wounds.

[wickedwest]

Zelena just looks well, bored with the both of them. Yes Rumple, you've lost, and yes Regina, she can't use a baby. A short while ago and maybe she would've thrown a fit or said something like “we'll see about that,” but now? Now she's just tired of hearing what she apparently can't do or find. After all, she was told she wouldn't get anything done here and just look at her now. Or go look at what both your lives in Wonderland have become. That works too.

Anyway, if anyone's hoping for a hint from here, they're going to be incredibly disappointed because she'll be keeping that one under her hat (...assuming it's her hat and not one she stole from Regina) for a little while longer.

“Even if I wanted to tell you, I'm afraid you're going to be far too busy to hear the answer. Because you,” she points the dagger at Rumple, going from bored back to looking like a complete lunatic again, “You're going to go spin for me. And you,”

And now back to bored as she looks for Regina.

“You can just go. Consider it practice for later.”

...she thought it was funny.

[undealt]

Gold hisses as the compulsion to do what she says grips his heart and twists painfully, bringing him to his feet as if he's controlled by invisible strings. He could no more hiss and spit and disobey than a puppet could.

It doesn't stop him from the hissing part. He scowls at her darkly through scorched, brittle and mussed hair, as he passes her, headed towards his room where his spinning wheel is waiting to be used.

At least it's better than a damned cage this time. There's some small bit of dignity to be preserved here, but not much.

[madehervows]

With a final glance at Gold's retreating form and a thought process that resembles something like this, Regina doesn't even bother getting up and instead poofs herself to the bar.

Only the strongest alcohol known to man can even remotely fix this.