entrancelogs | all that's left behind [closed]

Entry tags:

all that's left behind [closed]

Who: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes, Pepper Potts, Lydia Martin, Darcy Lewis, Billy Kaplan, & Carol Danvers
Where: Starting in the hedge maze, then all around the mansion.
When: 05/11
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Steve is back from a year-long trip home and has a lot of people to catch up with. Possible spoilers for Age of Ultron within! This is a closed log, but if you want to be added to it, feel free to contact me.
The Story:
One moment, Steve is in the middle of a training session at their new facility. It's what most of his days are made up of lately, him and Natasha putting their new group of Avengers through their paces. It's all about learning to work together as a team, to act as one unit instead of six separate entities. It's been going well, all four of their new additions ready and willing to show up every day and put their all into it --

But the next thing he knows, he's looking at nothing but green. Steve's grip on his shield tightens as he spins in a quick circle, only to find that Natasha is there with him. But it's just the two of them, and it takes a few seconds of puzzled staring before he realizes that they're in a maze. A hedge maze.

There's only one place he knows of that has a hedge maze, and it's a place he'd forgotten about entirely until this exact moment. To have a year's worth of memories crash back into him all at once is almost enough to send Steve off-balance, and he definitely doesn't have the coherency to speak as it rushes back. This place, the events, the people. Bucky is here. Bucky, who he's spent a year searching for back home to no avail, had been right here all along. Trapped in time. Peggy had been here too, and then there are those who he met and befriended here: Pepper and Darcy, Sansa and Evelyn, Lydia and Carol.

He snaps his head to look at Natasha when he remembers that Bruce had been here too, and they had found something here together, carefully working their way into a relationship long before it happened back home. They'd had the peace and quiet and security to actually make something of it here, whereas at home Natasha has been doing her best to accept that Bruce took off without her. (To keep her safe, Steve knows, but it's not like it stings any less that way.)

So many people had described to Steve what it would be like to go home and then return here, but even with all that he hadn't really been prepared for it. He rubs at the side of his head with his free hand as he finally finds words. "Looks like the two of us are doomed to come and go from this place together." At least, that's what Steve figures happened, but he'd better be sure. "What's the last thing that you remember?"

If it's training their team after cleaning up Stark's hugest mess, then they'll be in business. Or on the same page, at the least.

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"They sound like-" There's a pause, a search for the appropriate way to describe it. Lydia isn't certain if there is one. "-interesting people to have around." Helpful if they did help - which luckily they had. There was always two ways that people could go, and in her world she'd seen both kinds. Helpful werewolves and dangerous ones. For them it was hard to fight the stereotype of being a monster - a beast.

Lydia pulls her drink a little loser to her, stirring it with the straw - more just playing with the straw in her fingers than actually stirring her drink.

"Do you think it will ever stop? You've had aliens, gods, robots. Will the strange things ever just stop?" Although Lydia didn't really need to ask that question. Things always just got stranger.

Wanda and Pietro are not monsters, no more than Steve is one. They're just a couple of kids who had grown sick of being the victims caught in the middle of a war, and they'd decided to do something about it. Steve's always been able to relate to that.

Nothing about this conversation has been that easy despite Lydia's attempts to make it so, but this next question is definitely the hardest one she's asked so far.

Steve stops eating for a moment and glances over at her, his expression grim before he remembers to cover it up. She's hit the nail right on the head without even realizing it. "I'm not sure it ever will," he admits. "But when I signed up for the war, I think part of me knew I wouldn't ever get the chance to stop fighting."

He'd hoped, of course. He'd had dreams about him and Peggy, but those had all fallen away when he'd aimed the Valkyrie right for a huge glacier in the Arctic. Now all that's left is the fighting, and the people he fights alongside.

There's a small nod. Lydia gets that. When they'd returned the power to the- tree they hadn't really known what that would mean, although Scott had said that if anything did come they'd do what they always did. Sadly that meant that more people kept dying - innocents, and now some friends. It was getting stronger, and worse.

"I hope it does. I hope you get to see it stop." Hope that more than one day the weird stops being that Steve gets to see the difference - have a different life. Fighting all his life and seeing no change doesn't sound like a good thing, even if Steve sounds like he's okay with it - or accepted it.

"Only fighting- it's not living. For everything you do you should get to live too. And enjoy it." To do something fun, to have peace and calm. A moment for himself without danger.

They can hope all they want, but Steve knows better than to rely on that too much. He's seen the worst of people and what they can do to other people, and he doesn't think that kind of thing will go away. HYDRA taught him better than that. Cut off one head, two more takes its place. That means it never ends.

It's sweet of Lydia to want a better kind of life for him, but Steve asked for this, even if he hadn't entirely realized what he'd been signing up for at the time.

He figures it's for the best if he reassures her a little, and so he takes a glance around the diner, motioning at it and his meal with one hand. "Wonderland gives me that chance, at least some of the time. Between events." He's got way more downtime here than he ever has back home, although Steve's already thinking about making some work for himself related to his team -- or the version of it that exists here, anyway.

"I don't mean in Wonderland." At least not just in Wonderland. Lydia rolled the straw between her fingers again before taking a small sip. It was nice that he did have the break here, that everyone did from what happened at home, but she didn't really believe that it could last forever.

"You can't fight forever. And if you could at some point it has to stop." Wars, weird things. At one point they'll either have seen it all or there won't be a point. Maybe one day peace would be reached, or at least a good enough truce and cease fire agreement that meant that people didn't have to constantly look over their shoulder. That people like Steve could breathe without just waiting for the next thing to happen.

"It would be nice knowing that you could stop." That he could know something more than just war and trouble. He might have chosen it but doesn't that mean he deserves more?

Lydia's stating these things as if they're facts, but Steve isn't so sure. He might be fighting until his last day. He still doesn't know how his aging compares to a regular person, but it appears to be more gradual, and he doesn't imagine he'll slow down any time soon. So what would stop him from keeping at it until he didn't have the strength left to lift his shield anymore?

Sure, it would be nice to have more than that in his life, but Steve doesn't want to set himself up for disappointment either. His life has been rife with that already. The less he expects from the future, the less let down he'll be when he doesn't get it.

If he voices any of that, though, he's only going to depress Lydia, and they should be glad to see each other again. "It would be, yeah," he says as he lifts his burger and takes a sizable bite. It's a noncommittal answer, but he's not sure what else to say.

He doesn't believe it. That's something Lydia can spot - she's become very familiar with noncommittal answers, either from giving her own or hearing enough of them when people didn't want her to know something. They suck but there isn't any way of getting around them - not without the conversation taking a negative turn, and that isn't somewhere that she would go with Steve. He might be a friend but they're not from the same place - she doesn't know everything.

But it doesn't mean that she might not try to show him something else in Wonderland - get him involved in something that isn't fighting. Have fun and enjoy life, Steve. You can't do everything.

"What are you going to do now you're back here?" Once he's checked in with everyone, anyway.

Thankfully, Steve does have plenty of friends around here who push him to do more than just work, work, work. Wonderland also doesn't always have enough going on for him to remain occupied constantly, which is why he spends time reading or sketching or playing with Dodger.

At her question, Steve takes another bite of his food and thinks it over. Getting settled back into life in Wonderland is already a daunting task, given the discrepancy between how much time has passed.

"Once I've let everyone who would care know that I'm back, I think my first move is gonna be figuring out who the Avengers are here in Wonderland. I want to make us available to everyone here." His last memory is of training the new lineup, and now that's going to shift again, depending on who's here.

"What's the criteria for that?"

Lydia knew why Steve was an Avenger - or at least what he did for them in fighting the battles. Whilst she'd heard the term passed around a few times, and had a vague idea of what they did she didn't actually know what it mean to be an Avenger - or how they were chosen.

In truth she didn't actually know who the Avengers were other than Steve - who his team at home were. It's definitely something to make her curious.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Steve admits. The team had been thrown together haphazardly back home, and even when the lineup shifted it had all come together naturally. Here Steve has plenty more candidates to choose from, but he doesn't want to overload the team and he has to make sure he picks out people who he trusts.

"There's a few people from the original team who are also here. Me, Natasha, Thor... but that's not enough to make a team, and there are some other people who would fit the bill here, I think. I just have to make absolutely sure of that before I make anything official."

Bucky's the one who may as well be a shoe-in, and that's not only because of Steve's bias. Bucky's a competent fighter, well-trained as both a soldier and an assassin. He's got discipline too, and while he might not believe in himself, Steve can manage enough faith for both of them.

He has a couple other people in mind, but Steve needs to take some time and think it over before he makes any final decisions. At least Wonderland gives him plenty of downtime to puzzle his way through it.

"That's a start. And it sounds like you'll be ready for something big." Just ready - prepared. She's saying nothing about him jumping the gun or getting something ready when they won't need it because by this point saying that would be a lie. Lydia's been through enough - been there long enough to see exactly why Steve would be getting his team together. And he knows it too.

"Do you know why the original Avengers were Avengers? Or what made you pick them? Maybe that would help you figure it out." That was if there was a strict sort of criteria, although Lydia hoped that even if there wasn't there would be a few things. Like 'want to take over the world - no' and 'help people above all else - yes'. The basic hero things.

"That's the idea." There's no point in acting like something isn't coming. They all know it, so the only thing they can do is be as ready as possible, to have a team that's trained to work together so that they can stand up to whatever Wonderland throws at them.

Granted, if it's the jabberwocky again, Steve has no idea what they'll do. It's not like any of their tactics had worked on it the last time.

Lydia's questions serve to remind Steve of how little he's told her about his background. "I didn't pick them. It was an idea that someone else conceived of, I just ended up serving as leader once the team grew. We were pretty much thrown together and then a crisis hit and we had to learn to work with each other if we didn't want New York to be blown to bits, so..."

Very much a trial by fire.

"Hopefully this time you'll be able to figure out how to work together before that happens." At least they'd managed to save New York. That Lydia knew of from previous conversations, or at least she was assuming it. They'd gone on to beat killer robots, she was assuming that they'd managed to save New York from those aliens too. No one had mentioned alien invasions.

"There must still be a reason why someone picked everyone. You're a soldier and a leader." Probably a leader before taking on the mantle of Avengers leader. "What about everyone else?"

She was hoping that the questions would help - that it would get him thinking about what he'd had in the previous team, maybe what he was missing and needed in someone else. Or what qualities worked well for what he needed to build - accomplish in a fight. Hopefully the people were there for it or they might have to work harder.

"That's the plan." Steve wants to be as ready as humanly possible and that means having a core set of people to train with and beat into shape. He plans to get to work on figuring out the right combination of people tomorrow.

Still, if Lydia wants to jumpstart his thought process then Steve's not about to complain. He's already finished off his lunch at this point and the server steps in to collect their plates as he thinks over Lydia's question.

"Well, Natasha and Thor are both here. Natasha's a trained assassin and has experience in infiltration and going undercover. Thor's got otherworldly, god-level powers and he's more familiar with the universe outside of Earth. Then there's Stark, who was our tech guy and built and funded a lot of our equipment." The funding isn't something they have to worry about here, not with the closets.

Steve drops his chin into his palm. "The Hulk was pretty much our battering ram, the last resort we turned to when we had no other options." No, Steve's not about to mention who the Hulk is when he isn't the Hulk, that's not his secret to give. "And Barton's a skilled archer and works well with Natasha, but he's kind of the heart of the team."

They'd been an interesting combination and Steve's not sure that he could replicate it or that he should even try.

"It sounds like you had a full range of everything, covering every option. Plus there's you, leader and soldier." And all of the skills that come with that - combat skills, tactics, being able to fight. One day she'd like to watch that - see how he'd really fight.

"So there's some gaps. An archer, a battering ram and the tech guy, although as long as someone has an idea you could just get that from the closet." She's guessing that those three are missing since Steve only mentioned Natasha and Thor as being there. It's a safe guess.

"I know an archer but I don't know if he's the same cause type of guy." Robin was certainly a great person - he was Robin Hood - but not everyone could go looking for the danger.

"Although you could always expand your skills. Instead of finding skill replacements test out something new?" Or end up with more than one team if they had so many. Everyone would be safe then.

It had never been Steve's plan to find the exact same skill sets, no. There's no way to replace the original team lineup and he wouldn't want that. He shakes his head.

"It's not about what they can do, but more about their experience and if they're capable of coordinating with a group of other people. We restructured the team right before I came back here because some people left." So all of them had to go through some growing pains together, but at least they'd had a dedicated facility to train in rather than figuring it out on the fly like with the original team.

He props his chin on his hand and shrugs. "Like I said, I have a few ideas. I'm definitely planning to include Bucky, if he'll let me."

It's not something he's brought up yet because Steve gets the feeling that Bucky's gonna get weird about it, but he deserves the title and he deserves the position, no matter what he says.

"What if it's more than that?" Even though Steve had a few ideas - had something that he knew about it - Lydia wanted him to be able to do this smoothly, a lot more smoothly than his experience in New York had been. The Avengers team here could be something that they could all use when something ridiculous and dangerous happened.

"You could find someone that has the right experience and can work well in the team but something might just not feel right." Would that be a deciding factor or would Steve figure out how to make it feel right? If they could do the job would that be enough? If they didn't have the 'feeling right' kind of people there they'd have to make do. But if they could make it perfect-

"For werewolves it's a little different but in the pack you have to be able to trust everyone there. Trust that your Beta won't try to take your power, and the Beta's have to trust that the Alpha is making the right decisions for the pack." A leader and followers - or team. Steve and his Avengers, in a sort of sense. Bear with her example, Steve.

"It's more than just trust that they won't kill you and will have your back. It's like family." For Lydia it definitely was. Scott's pack might have had more than werewolves in but their bond was as close as anything - they trusted each other implicitly, trusted Scott's decisions and they worked well together - knowing what needed to be done. It was how they kept coming out on top.

Steve doesn't mind the example. He may not know much about werewolves or pack dynamics, but the description fits what any good team should be. Steve would never expect any one of his teammates to fall in line just because he told them to, either. He wants them to trust that he has everyone's best interests in mind, but he also wants all of them to be willing to speak up if they don't agree with him.

So he gets what Lydia means. It's not just about who can fight and who can be a team player. It also takes something deeper than that, a level of trust that they'll all need to build up by training together. Steve considers himself a good judge of character and he won't pick someone who doesn't fit in with the rest. It's just going to take some thought to get the right combination.

"Family," he echoes, because that really is what it comes down to. Steve doesn't have any other family, any other home, except for the one that his team provides him. He'd like to reestablish that here.

"Thanks for the advice," he says after a long pause, glancing up to meet Lydia's eyes with a small smile. "I'm gonna make sure I give this the thought that it deserves and get the perfect combination of people."

"I've got faith that you can do it." Lydia probably would have faith in most things that Steve said or suggested - she has that almost implicit trust in him, and that's probably why, even if it's just for her, he's like her pack. She trusts him to tell him things that are secrets - or not that great - about her world, and that he'd be there if she needed him. She trusts him to do the right thing for Wonderland.

He'd also done this before, so he'd be able to do it again. Just maybe smoother - hopefully smoother, and there'd be people with him to help him. His team that was there - he wouldn't be alone even if the ultimate decision might have been his.

"Do you want to be left to think?" If it was on his mind then, if he was already thinking she didn't want to stop that. Not just for some more 'welcome back to Wonderland' conversation and catchup.

Faith means a lot. Peggy had faith that he could save those POWs from the Hydra camp, and she'd been right to place it in him. Steve never wants to take that sort of thing for granted, and he can only hope that he won't let Lydia down. Or the rest of Wonderland, for that matter. He knows that dealing with this place is not a one-person job, so he's eager to get the new team lineup figured out ASAP.

"I should get going, actually," he says as he makes movements to stand from the booth. "There's other people I still need to get a hold of." And he'll think better in the privacy of his own room, anyway.

"It was nice to talk, though," he says as he straightens up. "I'll be seeing you around, I'm sure."

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all that's left behind [closed]

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