do you like the person you've become

[assembles]

Who: Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter, and Bucky Barnes
Where: Abel Township and beyond
When: 08/08
Rating: R for possible zombie fighting
Summary: It's been a day and Steve's getting antsy. He hears about a warehouse outside of the township that might still have some supplies and recruits Peggy and Bucky to go with him.
The Story:
The first day of the event, Steve woke up feeling like he couldn't breathe.

It only took a few seconds for him to put together what had happened, to realize that his body had shrunk again, the effects of the serum removed to leave him small and inadequate. It had been a long while since this had last happened and so it hit him like a wrecking ball, the weakness in his limbs and the thrumming of his heart and the way that the world was so much dimmer.

Steve spent his first day in Abel Township exploring the camp and learning about the threat beyond the walls. Zombies didn't exist in his world, at least as far as he knew, but he'd heard about other people who came from worlds plagued by them. It was probably only a matter of time before Wonderland capitalized on that, Steve just didn't get why he had to be depowered for the occasion.

Complaining about it wouldn't do any good, though. People were already going to be worrying about him, so he chose to suffer silently as he found some weapons and got hold of a map of the surrounding area.

By the dawn of the second day Steve had enough of a handle on things that he knew what he could do to help. The map he'd found had a warehouse marked on it. It would be a long walk, but just because he was scrawny again didn't mean his legs no longer worked. The problem would be carrying the supplies back. He'd need other people to come with him if they wanted the trip to have any impact, another couple pairs of hands.

Bucky was his first thought, but Peggy came to mind not long after. He'd told both of them about the other being here, given them fair warning, but he didn't know if they'd talked yet. Now seemed as good a time as any, especially since he doubted either one of them would let him out of those gates without following at his heels.

Steve went to Bucky first, found him in one of the shanty houses made out of sheet metal that they'd claimed as their own. He was doing maintenance on his arm. Steve knew the weight of it had to be killing him, but it wasn't easily detachable. Steve himself had a handgun holstered at his waist and a backpack (mostly empty) which was holding a crowbar in place.

"Almost ready?" They'd already discussed his plan last night and there hadn't been any question that Bucky would be coming along.

Comments

[disassembles]

He'd known something was wrong even before he woke up that first morning. He usually slept curled up between the wall and Steve, his arm sometimes draped over Steve's waist or chest. It was hardly an issue for a super soldier, but sometime during the night, Steve had stopped being that. James had hurriedly dragged his arm away, wide awake at once, helping Steve to sit up and get some more air into his lungs. Things only went downhill from there.

He had enough of his memories to know what this was going to be like. Being smaller didn't slow Steve down in the slightest - if anything, it made him even more determined. Once they'd established that the township itself was safe, all he could do was let Steve take on what he wanted and be there to keep him from getting himself killed.

Gathering information, at least, was easy. Between the group from Abel and the journals, it was the only thing available in abundance. That was the one upside to losing the serum enhancements: he didn't have to worry about his metabolism when they were strictly rationing food. He should have been happy for it, in some way. He'd never wanted to be a super soldier, and he'd never asked for it. Even temporarily, it got some small part of HYDRA out of his skin. The problem was, it turned out that being human wasn't something he was cut out for either. That first day had been exhausting, just establishing everything around town, and he still feels it dragging on him now.

Losing the serum didn't even mean that HYDRA was entirely out of his skin. His arm was still present and operational. It needed to be cleaned and oiled where the metal created too much friction, and some of the plates were lifting too much. James went over it methodically, not thinking about it. Not for the first time, he wished he could tear it off. His back felt like it hadn't stopped aching since he woke up. Sooner or later, it was going to be more of a hindrance than anything, and the last thing he needed was to be even less useful.

He looked up when Steve approached, taking one last dab at the grease that had stained his fingers and streaked parts of his skin. He'd been using his shirt as a rag, so it was hardly any better when he pulled it back on.

He'd managed to scrounge around for a cutlass, tucked into his belt, and strip down a wire, wrapped around his metal wrist, that could be used as a garrote. Guns and bullets were sparse, and he hadn't been that lucky with the draw, but as long as Steve had one, that was good enough.

He pushed himself heavily to his feet, and rolled his shoulder once to make sure the arm was set. "I'm good to go."

[preserum]

If it was going to be a contest about who was less useful, Steve figured he won that hands down. Even if he'd had his new body for years now, any time that he got returned to this one every self-deprecating thought returned. That need to prove himself hadn't gone away just because he'd spent about five years now being good enough.

Bucky had pointed out that neither of them needed to eat as much anymore. It was one small upside which Steve clung onto. He'd stuffed a few rations into his pack for the three of them, but he'd made sure not to take too much. All of them had lived through the war, all of them knew how to get by on hardly any food. They'd be fine.

It was almost too easy to fall back into that mindset, the one they'd all been entrenched in during the war. The only thing that mattered was survival; there was no other option. They'd leave through those gates and then they'd come back tonight, because they had to.

Bucky already looked exhausted even though the day had only just started, and Steve eyed that metal arm of his, a sigh caught somewhere in his chest. If only they could take it off, but Bucky had made it pretty clear that it wasn't a simple job. They'd need technology and equipment they didn't have access to here, which meant he was just going to have to suffer with it. Steve could have suggested that he stay behind, but why even bother?

Peggy was the only one of the trio who wouldn't be hindered in some way, and Steve was relieved for that. She'd make sure they didn't get killed out there.

One last lingering look, and then Steve nodded, his jaw set and his posture as straight as it could be. He tried to infuse every bit of authority into his smaller frame as he led them from the shanty house and then set out to find Peggy.

It didn't take long. She was near the part of the gate that they'd need to leave through, organizing supplies. Steve stopped short when he saw her. Seeing her in a setting like this, where they could have just as easily been at base camp on the European front, brought back a flood of memories and reinforced how incredible it was that she was actually here. It was her, not some mirage, not some hallucination, Peggy Carter in the flesh. He still couldn't quite believe it.

This might be her first time seeing Bucky. He'd cut his hair recently so that wouldn't be as much of a shock, at least, but Peggy would be able to notice all the other, subtler differences.

"Peggy," he said, looking up at her instead of down, though he didn't even acknowledge the change the event had put him through. "Bucky and I," he shrugged his shoulder to gesture at the imposing force standing behind him, "are gonna head out to an abandoned warehouse a few miles north of here. We could use another pair of hands."

[savedadance]

One question that Peggy has so far managed to avoid since coming (back) to Wonderland is how she's doing with being there, and honestly she's rather thankful for it. She doesn't think that she'd be able to answer that question, not between the revelations of what her future will be (or the future, she's not going to live to see it) and certain things she believed not being true?

If you took away the fact that she was in some other universe talking to people from the future the information that Steve had given her about himself and Bucky would be earth shattering enough. It's made her pull back a little, at least from those two (although no fault of Bucky's), wanting to get her head on straight with this information before ploughing further into the odd situation.

But there isn't that luxury. Of course there isn't. And no one had ever mentioned zombies, although Peggy probably wouldn't have believed them if they did. She'd heard of the world ending, in a distant future, but this situation where they were now? Not anything that she would have imagined. (Although if she learns that this is the home of the same person who told her about the world ending she might have to reconsider a few things).

Her knowledge and certainties of being able to muddle through the situation are what's keeping her focused. It may not be exactly what she's used to but danger and rationing is at least something very familiar. She'd gone to the walls to check on the situation earlier that morning, talking with some of the people who were doing a similar thing. So far no one seemed that familiar with it as a real thing.

Organising supplies was an easy thing. Finding what she could, finding a way to make sure everything and everyone had what they needed. She doubted that getting everyone to ration well would be easy, it wasn't even when you were familiar with it - always that want for a little more to ease a hungry stomach - but they'd do what they could, and hope to find more for however long this lasted. The familiar voice gets her attention, Peggy putting down what she's holding and looking back up - and then shifting her gaze down a little to fix her eyes on Steve.

At least she's seen Steve like this before, but now- it was one more thing that she didn't know, didn't understand how it could happen. Something about Wonderland - she'd been taken there, brought here and now Steve was- small. That was her best descriptor for it. It almost didn't help that Bucky was standing with him. Although she'd been told that he was alive, and in Wonderland, seeing him again was different than just knowing about it. (And she almost wanted to say that something was different there too).

For all the questions Peggy had Steve had given her one, and as important as his size was what he'd said was more important. They were going out. He was going out. Of course he was. This was the Steve Rogers that had been so unwilling to let his body stop him do anything that he'd continually tried enlisting, and had then undertaken something so experimental that it could have killed him. Peggy knew him too well to argue it with him, to try to stop him (and she almost didn't want to). His spirit was too strong, and he'd shown through his training that even if he didn't have the strength others had - that Bucky looked to have - that he had more about him that let him survive.

Giving a nod Peggy took a step towards them from the supplies. She'd find out about his size later, ask it on the way if they had a moment. Making certain they had those hands on the mission, and maybe another pair of watchful eyes on (Steve) them was more important - and if the warehouse had anything that could help it was worth it.

"Is there anything you know about the warehouse? Anything it made hold?" Medical supplies, food, blankets. Hopefully it at least wouldn't be full of zombies.

[disassembles]

It was the first time he'd seen Peggy since she arrived in Wonderland again. He gave her a small nod by way of greeting, his expression tighter and more serious than it had been even on the front. It wasn't that he'd been avoiding her, exactly, but he'd figured she had plenty to take in, and Steve would really be more help in that department. He didn't know what he'd say to her if he had run into her before. Where would they even start?

Seeing her now, it was hard not to think that she looked exactly the way he remembered her -- and he did remember her. It was almost startling, even with the differences in the setting and all of the little particulars. She stood the same way, wore the same shade of lipstick, even. All of the memories he'd managed to reclaim had mostly been a foundation to start over, because everything in them was different or long, long gone. Peggy looked like she'd stepped right out of them yesterday, and walked right back out to the front to fight again.

He didn't know how Steve handled it. It would have killed him, wanting to go back to the way things were - to her - even if they couldn't be that way again.

He watched the way they looked at each other, just like he did that night at the bar. Steve had his chin up a little more, maybe not just to meet her eyes, and Peggy accepted it all gracefully - didn't argue, just went with it. She knew Steve well enough to know that once he'd set his mind to something, there wasn't going to be any turning him around, regardless of what he looked like. He'd only ever seen the two of them together after Steve had gotten the serum. Steve had said that they'd gotten on even before that, but it was a different thing to see it in person. He was grateful to that she agreed - not just because he was sure she had Steve's best interest in mind, but because he knew she was fully capable, and they needed her.

This time, he didn't try to flirt or get a word in for Steve. It wasn't a night at the bar, it was mission prep. Even if they all knew each other and James could answer just as well - Steve outranked him. He folded his arms, silent except for the soft mechanical whirr from his shoulder.

[preserum]

So much was the same and yet so much was different too. Steve hadn't looked anything like this out on the front, and Bucky might appear similar enough at first, but he'd gone through plenty of changes too. Changes that even Steve only understood so much because it wasn't a topic that they focused on usually, Steve never wanting to pry too much when it would only dredge up every horrible thing that Bucky would rather forget.

So it was really only Peggy who looked like she fit their surroundings, who still seemed to have one foot back in 1945. Both the future and Wonderland had shaped Steve and Bucky so much, and he wondered if that was obvious to Peggy.

They were going to have plenty of time to talk about it if this trip took as long as Steve expected, though for the moment Bucky remained silent as a ghost. He didn't need to fit that role anymore and Steve could only hope that the three of them being together again would feel less bizarre over time.

For now all he could do was take charge. Both of them were still looking to him for direction despite his shrunken size, which he appreciated more than he could put into words. "From the talk I've heard around camp, it could have supplies. You'll probably want to bring a pack with you, and whatever weapons you were able to scrounge up." Chances were that Peggy had already armed herself.

"Just let me know when you're ready." His gaze shifted over to the two large doors that would let them out into the great beyond, which he could only assume was littered with zombies. "The sooner we get going the better, we'll want to make it back before it gets dark."

[savedadance]

"I can be ready shortly." She was always ready, or at least prepared enough that Peggy never needed much time before being able to leave for something. Most of what she'd be taking with her was already with her - the weapon close and concealed, some small pieces of food that she'd already found, a canteen of water. It was all close and at hand - all she needed was the pack to carry it, and a few more supplies.

"I'll assume that you have a fair idea of where we're going?" Hopefully something more than a direction. A map on their best case scenario, or some sort of distance and landmark if not. They'd worked with less in the past but less always came with more dangers, and here they certainly didn't want to get lost, not with the minimal supplies and securities that they had. As prepared and battle ready as they all (most) were.

Peggy looks down briefly from Steve to the supplies she'd had around her, working on starting to gather some of them together. The quicker they were ready the better - he was more than right about that. Timing was always of the essence.

[disassembles]

James watched them talk for a little bit. They were exchanging information he already knew from his earlier briefing with Steve when he'd first gotten the mission, but he was still silent and attentive. He didn't so much as fidget, though his gaze shifted from them to the surrounding area, habitually checking for the possibility of a threat.

It wasn't until Peggy spoke again that he moved, shrugging off his own pack with a quick flinch at the tug of motion. The map was exactly where he'd put it when Steve had handed it off. He pulled out the folded piece of paper, then held it out to her with his left hand, so he could throw the pack back over his right shoulder. There wasn't very much in the bag yet, but any added weight to his left side was... noticeable.

"It's all marked off." His tone was even, all business, but he couldn't help the hint of uncertainty in his expression. He spoke a lot more now. He was actually doing alright at normal conversations. He didn't know why, now of all times, the sound of his own voice - or maybe just the fact that it briefly turned their attention - made him want to flinch more than any spike of pain from his shoulder.

[preserum]

Steve had already studied the map enough times that he could practically bring up a mental picture of it, which was part of the reason why he'd given it to Bucky. That had turned out to be a good decision because it meant that Bucky had to address Peggy directly. It was strange, though, because right now he barely sounded like himself. He sounded a lot more like the person who had come back after he'd left Wonderland, the one who'd had so many walls up which Steve had been forced to tear down.

It made sense, given that Peggy was here. She was both new and familiar to Bucky, another person who had known him from before and might expect certain things from him. She was someone he might believe he had to impress, but it only made him act more reserved, less like the person Steve knew was hiding under the surface.

It would take a while for the two of them to be comfortable around each other, but this was the first step and Steve would act as the glue that bound them together. "It looks like it's pretty much a straight shot, nothing too complicated between here and there." Except for the zombies, anyway.

He checked that his pistol was still in place for the hundredth time and then started for the gates.

[savedadance]

There was a polite smile that Peggy gave to Bucky as he handed her the map, attention only briefly on him for those moments of interaction as she studied it, looking down still as Steve spoke. She didn't have as long as either of them had had to study the map but they had it, and Steve's memory to get them there. Thankfully he was right - he may have lost his body but not his mind or training. It wasn't too far out, and - at least on the map in terms of buildings and route - it wasn't too complicated. The route was simple, though they'd see once they were out there if there were any barricades to their path. Hopefully not - hopefully everything would stay simple.

"Then we'll make a good go of it." Success felt hopeful, not just because of the simplicity of the task but because of who was going. If there were two people in Wonderland - or anywhere - that Peggy would have been comfortable in knowing that they had her back it would have been Steve and Bucky. No matter how much things may have changed she still wanted to believe in that fact - in that core ideal that they'd had before they'd really been friends. You got the job done and kept your people safe.

Peggy folded the map back up as Steve started walking, handing it back to Bucky and slipping her own supplies away. There'd been one thing that she'd glimpsed from him, the metal of his fingers from his hand. Steve had told her that HYDRA had had him but there'd been little in the details - she hadn't asked for them, not in that moment, and she again wasn't. It wouldn't be a pleasant conversation - knowing that HYDRA had had Bucky was unpleasant enough, and she wouldn't ask him to tell her. Some things she'd discover, some she'd ask Steve - the rest she didn't need. As long as he was safe - okay.

"Steve told me when we met that you were here - and alive." Alive at home, not just alive in Wonderland. There was a brief awkwardness to the conversation, at least starting it, that Peggy hoped would pass. It wasn't at him or the fact that so much had changed but the fact that she'd never spoken to anyone that she'd believed dead before. It had been there with Steve, a little different with how little time had passed for her there, but for Bucky there had been time. Grieving, further missions, yet here he was. Could you say 'I'm glad you're not dead'? She didn't know. "It's good to see you again." That felt a little better.

[disassembles]

He managed to keep himself from watching her read the map. Honestly, he was grateful to be meeting her again while they were in the midst of something else. It didn't leave a lot of room for questions or undivided attention from either of them.

He returned the map to his backpack, falling into pace with Steve and Peggy at first. He'd drop behind them once they were through the gate, watching their six. He knew Peggy could handle any attacks from the front, and Steve would be cautious enough to avoid a lot of that anyway.

They were all different in a lot of ways now, but he couldn't say that there wasn't some familiarity in it all the same. He had missed this; the clear mission outlines, the allies he knew, the feeling of being a part of something, even if that something was temporary. Having a mission again brought him an almost guilty kind of satisfaction. He'd missed it a lot - more than anything, if he was honest.

He hadn't really expected a lot more from Peggy, but he could practically feel her working around the question. It was nice of her to broach the subject first. He never really knew how to start with this kind of thing. He had to wonder how much Steve had told her if she really thought it was good to see him, but he tried to tell himself that kind of thinking was just his own messed up head. He hadn't met anyone yet who wanted to hold him accountable. Even Cami mostly let him do it to himself because she knew she couldn't change his mind.

"It's good to see you, too." He managed, a little awkward, but genuine none the less. At least he was getting better at deflecting now that he'd had plenty of time to practice. "Just so you know, if you ever change your mind about that dance, I'm not doing anything after the zombie apocalypse..."

[preserum]

Much like Bucky and Peggy, Steve also thrived in this sort of setting. Not the zombie part, that was new, but the rest of it. They knew what their mission was, they knew what they had to do to accomplish it, and they knew their enemy. It was as clear-cut as anything could get, and the only thing that would have improved the situation was if he was still his super-soldier self.

No point in complaining about that now, though, and Steve was far more focused on listening to the conversation between Peggy and Bucky. It was the first time they'd spoken since Peggy came back, obviously, and while they both kept it polite enough, there was no denying that there was something weird about the whole thing. Surreal, given that none of them were supposed to exist in the same space together, not like this.

Steve hadn't told Peggy everything, not all the gory details, but he'd told her enough that she could probably fill in the blanks. It was up to Bucky if he wanted to tell her more than that -- or it was up to her to ask. Steve was a buffer between them, but he also wanted to leave enough space for them to interact without his influence.

It was for that reason that he took charge with waving to the guard on the walls overhead, asking for him to open up the gates for them. Once it had been guaranteed that the coast was clear, the gates opened with a screeching, rusty groan. Steve shuffled out quickly so that he could be sure that the doors were closed up again as soon as possible.

Bucky picked up right where he and Peggy had left off, somewhere back in 1944. That would give Peggy some idea of how much he remembered -- which was a lot, these days. "Pretty sure I owe her one first," Steve chimed in as he searched the area around them. It looked vacant so far, but he expected that would change. It felt strange to be out here when he'd been holed up inside the township the entire previous day, but Steve didn't hesitate long before he started in the direction the map had indicated.

He didn't need to tell either of them to stay sharp, but there were a few other reminders that came to mind. "We should avoid firing any guns if we can. Aim for the head, that's what puts them down for good." Not that Steve saw any zombies yet, but he knew better than to think they wouldn't run into at least a couple on their journey.

[savedadance]

The smile that Bucky's comment elicits from Peggy is genuine - one that comes from just a simple conversation with a friend. She wanted it to be that way, and though no one could ignore that Bucky had been through a harrowing ordeal she didn't want it to be the focus of her interactions with him. Dwelling too much, being prodded and treated awkwardly didn't seem like it could help.

That and what he'd said would have made her smile anyway, especially with the added commentary from Steve. "Gentlemen." She had time for both of them, at least when this was over anyway.

As much as the simplicity, and the light attention was nice they couldn't focus too much on it for now, and Steve's comments about how to proceed snapsmher focus back. Avoid firing. It was certainly the better way to avoid being noticed, and from what she'd seen from her earlier patrol near the wall it was definitely good not to be seen. They may have been able to kill them but with the numbers- they didn't really want to have to be in that situation, even as capable as they all were.

"There wasn't a large supply of ammunition from what I saw. Using as few bullets as possible would be best." They'd have more for any surprises on the way back, or just more in general. She couldn't guess at how long they'd be in this place, how long they might need their minimal supplies. Sharp shooting gentlemen - they couldn't afford guns blazing.

[disassembles]

The smile he gave her in return was just this side of teasingly flirtatious. It was harmless, of course; it wasn't like he expected anything to come out of it. It was just -- nice, even briefly, to have that little bit of camaraderie and normalcy.

He listened to both of their comments; it was a good thing to remember. With their supplies short and the number of zombies nearly limitless, it made sense to conserve as much as possible. Every shot counted. As much as it weighed him down right now, he was glad for his arm too. He'd never have to worry about finding a blunt, heavy weapon to smash skulls in.

"Using none of them would be ideal," He added. "They're drawn to noise, too. I've been talking to Sam Yao - this event is from his world - he said most of the runners he sent out back home weren't heavily armed. We're good as long as we can outpace them and don't get lost."

[preserum]

So they would conserve bullets however possible. Steve didn't mind that since guns had never been his weapon of choice anyway. The crowbar he'd found back at the township might be more effective, although it would require him to get a lot closer. He might not have the speed and strength that came with the serum, but his mind was the same. He'd know what to do strategically whenever the attack came.

Steve had only ever spoken to Sam once, but he remembered hearing a little about this place from him. Bucky had maintained a friendship with him even after his trip home, and Steve figured that any advice from someone who'd lived through all this was worth listening to.

There was one problem, though, and Steve laughed wryly to himself as he continued across the desolate landscape (with no one to grow and maintain crops, everything was dead). "Well, running isn't really one of my strong suits right now." He could try to run, sure, but it might end up causing more problems if he ended up getting hit with an asthma attack.

Steve would have suggested that he could focus on fighting the zombies off while the other two ran, but he already knew the kind of reaction that would earn him, and it wouldn't be pretty.

[savedadance]

"You can still keep an even pace." For now they were just walking, making a good pace which would hopefully give them a good time on getting to the area without any trouble. For now things were looking good but they had yet to actually get anywhere further than a few steps from the gates.

"Whilst there's nothing yet threatening us that can be of use." Certainly there was more chance that zombies could attack from any direction rather than just following and chasing from behind. A clear path was still a clear path no matter how long it lasted. The more time they spent out of danger was less time in it.

"Was there anything else Mr Yao said? About his runners or what else may be out here." What else hopefully being buildings rather than any other dangers.