entrancelogs | although loneliness has always been a friend of mine. i'm leaving my life in your hands.

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although loneliness has always been a friend of mine. i'm leaving my life in your hands.

Who: Peridot, a boy band, and YOU
Where: The Woods
When: February 5th-9th
Rating: PG
Summary: Peridot has had it up to her pointy hair with human nonsense and retreats into the woods to document this strange event in peace. She is then stalked by a group of identical humans. Shenanigans ensue.
The Story:

FEBRUARY 5TH

"Log date..." Peridot sighs drearily, as she stands in the woods, her phone in her hand. "...Unknown. The illusion of passing time in this Wonderland has made it difficult to keep track of the length of my incarceration. And now we appear to be just beginning a new shift in Wonderland's matrix. This one is particularly annoying, but at least isn't as cramped and unpleasant as the one that greeted me when I was first abducted here."

There's a rustling in the underbrush and Peridot's eyes widen as she switches off her communicator. "Who's there? I have a weapon!" She doesn't, but she hopes shouting a lie in an aggressive manner will make it appear more true and whoever is moving around out there will leave her be. Sadly, it's to no avail, and from the bushes step three young men with identical faces and blonde hair styled differently as a means to distinguish them from one another. It puts Peridot in mind of Gems, in a way, but not enough that she isn't wary of them.

"Whoa, whoa, little lady, just chillax," one of them says. His beard is smeared with dirt and the grass stains on his white pants suggest he's been crawling about on on all fours. Ugh.

"Yo, brother, this boo's clearly havin' a rough day. Pose for her, yo."

And they do. Specifically, two of them stand back to back while the third drops down onto his knees and holds his fingers in some strange V formation. Peridot blinks at them. Is this some sort of primitive mating ritual? Do they know who or what she is?

"Go away," she snaps, figuring if they're not armed and appear to be more stupid than dangerous, then she's free to resume her work.

"Aw shawty don't be like that," one of them scoots so quickly in front of her that she suspects he must have some sort of advanced speed. "The boys and I have been runnin' around this weird place with all these trees for days, yo."

"I find that improbable, since the manifestation of this reality occurred, I suspect, sometime in Wonderland's approximation of night." She tries to step around him and another steps into her path.

"Yo, I don't know what those words mean, but this girl's straight precious."

Peridot resists the urge to start slapping him, but as she only barely reaches up to his knee, it wouldn't be terribly effective. "I'm not precious! What do you want?" Maybe if they get what they're after, they'll leave her be. Simple as that.

For a second, they look at each other, conflicted, and then they look back at Peridot, who waits with her arms crossed over her chest. Terse seconds pass, and then....

They start singing.

Tell me, sweet pea, what can I do?
What's went and turned my green girl blue?

February 6th

They won't leave.

Peridot has, at least, learned that their designation is singing, for some reason, and that they are collectively known as Three Way Streetz (the z, she notes, seems to be imperative, even though her rudimentary grasp of Earth language finds that suspect). They are human, though they seem to be significantly more uncertain about Earth than even she is, which delights her enough to stop insisting that they leave her be.

The singing, however....

"No, no, NO!" She shrieks, stomping her foot. "It's Me Fa So Ti La, you pebble brains. If you're going to sing, then at least sing notes that actually exist."

Three Way Streetz are sitting in a semicircle around an agitated Peridot who has used some of her Earth commerce to purchase a triangle from the Mystery Mansion that she's now using to teach these blonde morons how to sing properly.

"We're sorry, P-dot," the one who calls himself Nicky P says, looking all the while like a Pearl that's been scolded for breaking the good china. Peridot relishes this newfound power.

"We just sing into our mics and the stuff that comes out of the speakers is straight pretty, yo," K-Ted adds in agreement.

Peridot narrows her eyes at them. "Your designation is music, which is supposed to make me, your... 'homegirl,' as you call it, happy, correct?" Three Way Streetz nod in unison. "THEN DO IT AGAIN. Me Fa So Ti La."

February 7th-9th

It takes a lot of effort- effort she would have rather spent working on her theories- but eventually Peridot works Three Way Streetz into a suitable three-man army of servants who cater to her every whim and can sing in a perfect three-part harmony. It's like having three Pearls, only they're tall and broad-shouldered and can carry her around and snap aggressively at anything that bothers her in the woods. So this is power. She enjoys it.

And it's pretty clear to anyone who finds her on the last few days of the event, as she records data into her communicator while reading on the shoulders of one of the boys or walking along in front of them while they follow her dutifully, on the lookout for danger.

Maybe there's perks to this Wonderland prison after all...

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She screws up her face in a scowl of outrage, her pointy teeth flashing. "I'm a Gem. How hard is that for you flesh-clods to understand?"

Being around humans has made her standard insult useless and inappropriate and she has yet to find a suitable alternative. 'Flesh-clod' is still accurate. They are clods of flesh held together by bone.

She'll find a better insult someday, but she's just so attached to clod.

"We knew you were a Gem, P-Dot," the Beta one offers, helpfully.

"No, you didn't," Peridot responds without taking her eyes off the newcomer. "I had to explain it five times."

"Oh, right. A Gem. That makes perfect sense." He nods in understanding, pauses and then shakes his head. "No, wait. My mistake. I'm with them, I have no idea what that means."

Never mind being called a- What was it? A 'flesh-clod'? Hmm, almost reminds him of someone. Or something. That point is kind of hard to decide on.

"Is a Gem anything like a golem? I know what a golem is. I've spent a lot of time around one. It doesn't like 'flesh creatures' much either. Is that a normal thing?"

Dropping to one knee to get a better look at P-Dot - talk about a really weird name - Alistair leans in and reaches out to poke her gently in the shoulder. She doesn't look like she's made of rock or crystal or something but maybe Gems are made differently to golems even if they are alike?

....Considering how golems are made, he really hopes if they are made it's nothing like making a golem. Really.

Edited 2016-02-11 09:39 (UTC)

There are some things you learn very quickly about Peridot. The first is that she's loud, the second is that she thinks she's smarter then you, and the third is...

...she definitely doesn't like to be touched without permission. The simple shoulder prod causes her to make a hissing noise and flail her arms defensively as if threatened, retreating behind the legs of the three pop stars.

"I don't know what a golem is," she responds, squinting at him curiously. "And I have no problems with humans beyond they're an inferior race. They have some..." she squints harder, "fascinating aspects. But they're simple. And fragile." She tilts her head. "You are human, right?"

She can't really tell. She knows the difference between a human and, say, a dog wandering along the beach. The variations on humanlike beings here in Wonderland, however, has her at a disadvantage, especially without her screens.

Alistair jerks his hand back at the hiss, flailing around himself as he narrowly manages to avoid falling on his ass. It was like the time he'd tried to pet one of the mousers that lived in the stables back in Redcliffe. At least she didn't scratch him but still. Talk about an overreaction.

She certainly sounds a lot like Shale with all the talk of how fragile humans - or flesh creatures - are and how much better golems - or presumably Gems - are. It's hardly the first time he's been declared inferior so he doesn't even blink at the insult, just nods and declares, "Of course I'm human! What else would I be? A really tall dwarf?"

Still crouching he peers around the legs of the men she's hiding behind, just as intrigued by her. "And I'm not that fragile. Not unless you're made of stone or something. Like a golem. Then I'm a little fragile. But only compared to that."

A pause then, "Why are you so short?"

The boy band have no idea how to handle this situation and have decided their best option is to stand still while Peridot hides behind them. Most of his words go over her head or she can't answer them or she doesn't want to answer them, because even if he was fragile and soft, she couldn't exactly harm him without a roof to push him off of. Maybe Three Way Streetz could. There's three of them.

But they're a little bit like male-coded Pearls and only one Pearl she's ever seen can fight.

So that leaves her with only one thing she can respond to- his last question. It sets her teeth on edge and she looks like an agitated green cat for a moment before saying, "I don't have my limb enhancers anymore."

That's exactly why she's so short. And it should make perfect sense to him.

OK. That was an answer to something. What he doesn't know but it was definitely an answer. And one she wasn't happy about.

"Limb enhancers. Right. Got it. Obviously. For.... enhancing limbs?" Sure. Makes perfect sense. Alistair glances up at the men she's using as cover to see if they can offer an answer he'll actually understand but they seem as lost as he is.

Letting it go for the moment, he plonks himself down on the ground and offers a reassuring smile. "I'm not going to hurt you. You can come out."

Despite her claims about how fragile humans are he is a lot bigger than her. And she doesn't even have the advantage of being built solid like a dwarf. Come to think of it, maybe that's why she's short. And a Gem is like a dwarf. So he just asked something really stupid by wondering about her height.

It's not like he didn't say he's never heard of her people before, she can't blame him for that, right?

She blinks slowly, the well-measured look of someone who has encountered a great amount of stupidity in her scant few centuries and has found herself still overwhelmed by it. "What else would they be for?"

Obviously not for enhancing the brain or she'd offer them to him. As he kneels down, she tenses for a moment, and then steps out again, crossing her skinny little arms over her chest. "I know you won't. My bodyguards won't allow it."

Sure, they are a lot like male-coded Pearls and thus virtually useless, but he doesn't know that. To showcase her control over them, she snaps her fingers and the three of them shift positions to pose dramatically. It's less than intimidating. Sigh. If only humans could fuse...

That's a look he's seen before. Plenty of times. Good thing he has practice when it comes to ignoring it, beyond rolling his eyes and huffing in exasperation. Like he's thick for not knowing what a 'limb enhancer' does. But at least he's not talking through a bunch of legs any more. That was getting a bit weird.

"Riiight." No, he wouldn't say he's intimidated. It's a very nice pose and all, except- "Nothing personal but if I were you I'd look into some different bodyguards. These guys seem a little.... unskilled for the job." To say the least. They look like they've never seen a fight in their lives to be honest. Appearances can be deceiving sure, but probably not that deceiving.

"Their singing is OK though." Just in case that makes them feel better. He's not trying to insult the weird triplets. It's not their fault their boss - Gemly godmother? - is grumpy.

"They're tall." It's a flat response, as if size matters significantly to her, but given she's the size of a human child, it probably does. They're nowhere near a Quartz's level with those pathetic muscles, but they seem to have mastered synchronized movement quite well. They could be deadly on a battlefield with the right training. Sadly, she isn't qualified for that.

Tall, it is.

The 'weird triplets' have been bullied so efficiently by Peridot that being told their singing is 'okay' is probably the best compliment they've heard for awhile. Too bad Peridot is a horrible tiny dream-crusher. "They have a long way to go, but they are defective. That isn't something that generally can be overcome."

"Wow. You just- Wow." Harsh much? He feels kind of bad for them now. He was clearly wrong before - grumpy doesn't begin to describe her. It's like talking to a tiny green Morrigan. Except he'd like dealing with Morrigan more if she were that short. Then he could just pick the witch up and drop her someone smelly and leave her there.

Now that's a nice dream. Pity it's not going to happen but he can still speak up on behalf of the triplets, who are shifting from 'weird' to 'horribly victimised'.... OK, they're still weird, with the posing and all moving together like that. But weird people can be victimised too!

"You remind me of someone you know? She doesn't think I can do anything right. And has never had a friend in her life." Something to consider. Turning his attention to the weirdos, Alistair grins and offers, "You remember you're all bigger than her, right? You don't have to do what she says if you don't want to."

"HEY! Don't talk to them like that." Like they're people or like they have it in their brains to disobey her when she's offered them so much. "Who do you think you are?"

Three Way Streetz just look a little conflicted. WHY ARE MOM AND DAD FIGHTING??? LOUD NOISES?? Etc. And so forth. Finally, Nicky P offers, in a tone that's a little uncertain about how he feels about this, "Hey, hey, bro, don't disrespect the shawty, awight?"

"Yeah, P-Dot's the bomb," the Beta one offers, if only because he's probably seeking her approval. It's working.

Sort of.

"I am not!" She shoots back at him, mildly panicked by the accusation. "I would know if I were rigged to explode. Why are you saying that?"

"No, no, he doesn't mean it like that." Geez, what's with this, uh, Gem? "He means you have an explosive temper. Obviously." Even he can figure that one out.

Looking back at the one who made the comment Alistair grins and nods in agreement. "She absolutely is. The bomb. Seriously." And yes, he's going to keep talking to them however he pleases, thanks. At least until they complain for themselves. In some way he can comprehend preferably.

He shoots P-Dot a smug look and adds, "See? They think you're grumpy too. Maybe you should try being nicer." Probably not if she's anything like Morrigan but he tried. And therefore has free rein to needle her if she doesn't.

"No, dude, I meant-" Nicky P slaps a hand over the Beta's mouth to keep him from sinking low enough to keep groveling at the still panicky little green girl.

"Yo, this dude's got a point. You do kinda need to chillax a bit, P." They're not gonna make any sense to Alistair any more than they make sense to Peridot who is just gasping dramatically like the boys have betrayed her to her very core.

She shifts her gaze to this INTERLOPING CLOD who messed this up for her and stamps her foot impatiently. "I am nice! I'm a delight to be around." This would have more effect if she didn't sound so wet cat pissy about being told she's mean. She hasn't even called anyone a "clod" to their face. She's being downright saint-like right now. Gosh.

Oh Maker she is funny when she's mad! This is even better than antagonising Morrigan who could always threaten him with her evil magic instead of just... stomping her foot and yelling.

"Compared to an angry bear, sure. You're great company!" Alistair sounds ridiculously cheerful as he makes this declaration, smiling brightly at P-Dot. It should be perfectly clear that at this point he's just enjoying baiting her and the treatment of her pets is only a secondary concern. They have, after all, chosen to stay and persist in talking in the most unintelligible way imaginable so they only get so much sympathy. But hey, he's having fun and that's what matters.

"Have you ever tried not insulting people? I know it sounds crazy but it really could work for you."

IF SHE HAD HER LIMB ENHANCERS, YOU'D BE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE. But she doesn't, so she's reduced to just being impotent and angry. Meanwhile, Three Way Streetz exchange looks and consider their options and begin slowly backing away. Maybe now is the time they sought other employment. Oh, sure they'll be back when they realize they have no other motivation in life and it's back to terrorizing trash cans and kissing trees, but for now, they need to find a quieter place to... chill.

Peridot raises a tiny hand and swats at this jerk. As hard as she can. Which is not hard, especially since he's probably wearing armor, so all it really does is hurt her. "Have you ever tried minding your own- HRRRGHHHHH- business." Even her growling is hysterical since it sounds like an exasperated cat.

Oops. There they go. Off into the wild, freed from captivity to talk nonsense at whomever they encounter. Almost brings a tear to his eye. No, wait. That's from laughing.

"Owch." OK, he barely felt that. Even if he weren't in mail he's not sure it would have registered much. But maybe she'll feel better if he makes it abundantly clear that she'd be better off yelling at him.

"Once. It was boring." Hence the poking his nose into her business. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find someone else to bully soon. Like an angry bear." But it seems his work here is done. Whatever she'd hoped to do with the three of them Alistair effectively ruined it - or so he assumes because who would come back to someone who shouted at them like that without a really good, world-threatening reason?

Getting to his feet he dusts himself off and grins down at her. "Well, it's been fun!"

"Don't you dare walk away from me, you- you..." she trails off, because stars, she needs a better insult in her repertoire than clod. It's really not as multipurpose when you're dealing with things other than gems. Actually... You know what?

She growls and tries to hurl herself at his leg with about as much effectiveness as an angry stray cat. "YOU CLOD."

Yes, that felt good. Back to basics. Now to make this horrible human pay for treating the great and wonderful Peridot with such disrespect.

By you know... ineffectively tackling his ankles while he tries to walk away. She'll get tired in a minute.

"Hey! Whoa!"

It's not completely ineffective as Alistair stumbles mid-step when she hits his leg, flailing about to keep himself upright. He regains his balance without planting his face into the ground and stares down in surprise at the crazy green Gem-woman who is attacking his legs.

He almost can't decide if he should laugh or be worried. Almost.

"You- You really-" That's about all he can get out between snorts of laughter. He's shaking with it, hard enough that she might even have a chance of knocking him on his butt if she keeps it up. That is one defeat he will never live down.

She takes advantage of the fact that he is openly mocking her to continue to furiously slap, kick, and flail at him with all her tiny inhuman fury. TASTE HER UNBRIDLED RAGE, YOU BASTARD.

"Stop. Laughing," she snarls... or tries to. It comes out more like an exasperated whine. He comes over here, insults her, chases away her servants, and now he has the audacity to laugh at her. What a jerk.

Never mind what she did to deserve such treatment. She is never at fault.

No one can fault her determination. Or courage. Battle tactics though... those might need some work.

No matter how bravely and determinedly she battles, this bastard isn't tasting anything but pure comedy gold and demanding he stop laughing does nothing to make that happen. He's still snickering happily as he reaches down to finally try and ward her off.... although it's awful tempting to see if he can't just pick her up. Maybe leave her in a tree for a bit till she calms down...

"OK, I take it back. An angry bear is way better company than you! Do you forgive me?"

She slaps his hands away, but she at least seems to be losing her will to keep the fight going, if only because he's rude and tall and hitting him is hurting her touch-stumps.

"I don't know what a bear is, but I know you haven't even seen angry yet. Just you wait." And on that note, she's going to storm off to find her stupid human singers and make them sing to her to calm her down while she plots this idiot's downfall.

Vengeance will be hers.

Probably.

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although loneliness has always been a friend of mine. i'm leaving my life in your hands.

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