entrancelogs | You want me to what? BE QUIET?

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You want me to what? BE QUIET? | Open

Who: Alistair (

fatherlesskind) and YOU
Where: All around Wonderland
When: February 12th
Rating: PG-13 to be safe
Summary: Without so much as a pillow fight to be seen, Alistair has to amuse himself somehow. In a very regal, solemn manner, naturally.
The Story:

A - The woods

From somewhere within the woods this morning comes the unmistakable rattle and crash of metal and wood meeting with force, punctuated by the occasional wordless shout of exertion.

Should anyone go looking for the source, the sounds will lead them to a decent sized clearing among the trees. There, a towering figure in full medieval plate armour batters away with sword and shield at a training dummy, heedless of how much noise he's making or if there's anyone else around to be bothered by it. Both shield and breastplate bear a heraldic griffon, the symbol of the Grey Wardens for those who might recognise it, and those who don't might well remember the large, cheerful man often seen wandering around Wonderland with a similar sword at his hip.

He's so intent on vanquishing his imaginary foe that should anyone approach him his first response will be to turn on them, weapons raised in anticipation of an attack. He lowers both a moment later with a chagrined look. "Sorry. I was- Sorry."

B - The grounds

There's still snow outside.

There's snow outside and, for the moment, no trouble or monsters or anything. No pressing need to be somewhere else or to avoid notice or to maintain appearances or anything.

So later in the day Alistair can be seen disappearing outside to find himself a secluded corner somewhere.

An hour or so later the assault begins. Anyone walking the grounds outside the mansion may find themselves under attack. A snowball to the face or back accompanied by a gleeful shout from the one responsible. He's far from stealthy, dressed in dark colours that stand out against the backdrop of white and feet crunching through the snow as he attempts to sneak up on his victims with an armful of missiles. But he has a good arm and those snowballs can travel a long way. Stand and fight or make a run for it, either way he's not about to let up.

C - The library

[In an unusual turn-up, Alistair is in the library. Reading a book. (Yes, shut up, he knows how to read. And no, the tiny letters don't strain him, thank you.)

He's curled up in a chair, sword on the ground beside him, utterly engrossed in the book he'd found whilst poking around. The cover depicts a red-haired woman in armour, surrounded by foes and wielding a sword and shield. Rather appropriately as the book itself is titled 'Swords & Shields' by one Varric Tethras.

As he reads a bright red flush crawls up his cheeks and he hunches further and further over the open book as if trying to hide it from view. He's so caught up in it he doesn't even notice if there's anyone else in the library.

Turning a page he pauses, eyes going wide.]

Oh. Wow.

D - Other

[Choose your own prompt. Alistair can be found anywhere around Wonderland poking his nose into things and talking a lot.]

[OOC: Prose or brackets, take your pick and I'll match.]

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[Squeaking in alarm, Alistair jumps half out of his seat as a voice jerks him back to reality. He's left struggling madly to regain his balance as he almost sends himself and the chair toppling over, the book thumping to the ground beside him. Finally he manages to right himself, blinking up the intruder, face still bright red.]

Um, what? [Glancing down at the book, he looks back at Isabela and shakes his head frantically.] No, not really, no. Not at all. Very boring. Wouldn't recommend it. You should find something else if you were looking for something to read.

[That was totally convincing, right? And would completely distract from the way he just about fell on his face?]

[Isabela watched his startled freak out with a smirk on her face and her arms crossed. Really, he's so easy to fluster. When he's done she bends over slowly lifting the book off the floor and opening it, flipping through the pages.]

Boring, hmmm? I'm not quite sure how you can find a book like this boring. Maker, what do you get up to if you find this boring, dear Alistair? [As she spoke she moved forward perching herself on the edge of the table in front of him. ]

[And she'd gotten her hands on it and had started looking through it and could he grab it back before she read anything and realised- Wait.]

You've, ah, read it?

[Ohhh Maker. There he went again. That settled it. He was just going to start blushing whenever he saw Isabela now. It would save time, since he always did when they spoke.]

I don't get up to anything! I just meant it's boring because the, ah, the story. Isn't very good.

[Because he was reading it for the story Isabela.]

[She laughed lightly. Handing him back the book.]

Of course I read it, Varric is a very good friend of mine. At present, well present back in Kirkwall I'm helping him write another one.

[If by helping him write she means making up outrageous love scenes about Aveline and Donnic and telling him over pints. That counted. She laughed again.]

Andraste's ass, Alistair. No one is reading this for the story. Though, some of the them are rather good. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that the King of Fereldon reads porn. Tell me, what was your favorite bit?

[Alistair takes the book automatically, somehow not terribly surprised that she would know the writer.]

Of course you're helping him.

[Which might not be the worst thing if it didn't come with Isabela saying things like that, making it sound like he reads this... sort of thing a lot. (It's not like it's a dirty word. He can at least think it. Porn. See? He can say it if he wants to.)

Groaning he drops the book again to bury his face in his hands. Sure, it's a published book that gets sold and so he can't be the only person to have ever read it. But she could have put it a little less bluntly! Now he just feels like some leering pervert.

Peeking through his fingers at Isabela he whines-] I don't think I should tell you that. I don't have a favourite bit. [Lies.]

[She smirks. If you don't want people to see you shouldn't read it in public Alistair. She takes a bit of pity on him and doesn't push the matter, even if she knows he's lying and will probably use that at some point in the future. ]

He writes other things, you know. Since it is very clear you don't enjoy it. Things that aren't porn. [Boring things.]

[He wasn't planning on reading it in public. He just... found it and got curious. And was too comfortable to move. How is that his fault? It's not, that's how.

Thankfully Isabela is feeling.... generous. Enough to give him an out which he will gladly leap upon.]

Are those the ones you mentioned? With the good stories?

[See? He's not some drooling pervert! He can enjoy a good, not-dirty story! He can!]

Well, good yes, a bit more boring if you ask me. I'm sure they have more of his stuff here. This place seems to stock anything you could possibly think of.

[Of course he's not, don't worry your secret is safe for her.]

Boring. Ha. [So not with the same content. And a better story. Maybe not as... engaging then. But he has plenty of time on his hands to find out.] I'll remember to look for them.

[Once he's finished this one.]

So what brings you here? [Change of subject time?] I didn't think you'd be the type to care for reading much.

[Don't think she's not going to randomly ask you about the book when you least expect it, Alistair. But she'll let the subject change, for now.]

Dorian mentioned Varric's books, and I was curious, and bored. This place can get really dull. At least back home we don't have time to get bored. Hawke is usually dragging us out to help people. [She might be wrinkling her nose a little at that. Hey, at least they get paid.] Hard to get bored when you're battling giant spiders every week.

[He'll take the reprieve, however long it lasts. It helps that the complaint is one he can understand all too well.]

Giant spiders or darkspawn. [Alistair nods in understanding and grins.] I know exactly what you mean. Nothing has tried to eat me for weeks. I barely know what to do with myself!

[He's never actually had this much free time in his life. Hence the looking for ways to pass the time as well. He pauses, then-] You just go around helping people in Kirkwall?

[Yes, he's a little surprised to hear it. Isabela's not a bad person but he didn't expect her to be interested in... community service.]

Giant spiders, abominations, I'm still ducking anytime I hear scurrying. [Really. It's nice when someone gets it.

She lets out a light laugh at his question. ] You make it sound like we're so very selfless, we get paid. Usually.

[Sometimes payment is in the form of Hawke buying rounds at the Hanged Man. That counts as payment. ]

One advantage of being a Warden. I know there aren't going to be any darkspawn sneaking up on me no matter where I am. [Which just leaves the spiders, abominations, demons, wolves, bears and blood mages that could. So he spends a far amount of time jumping at unexpected noises too. Good times.]

That makes more sense. [Given what he knows of Isabela. Zevran tended to be less interested in helping people without some form of payment too. He grins at her, arching an eyebrow questioningly.] You sure you wouldn't do if for free now? Just to have something to do?

Well thats a handy gift, though i don't know how they sneak up on anyone with that smell... [ she seriously hates darkspawn. ]

I'm not quite that bored yet. [ She smirks at him, amused. Though if she was being honest, which is the rarest of occasions, she probably would help someone in need. Damn conscience. ]

[Everyone hates darkspawn. If anyone says they don't they're crazy or lying.] They don't. That's the secret. Wardens are just trained to sniff them out like dogs and then we pretend it's something special.

[That's a real Warden secret he's sharing with you Isabela so you best appreciate it.]

No? Give it a few more months then. I'll bet before long you'll be looking for orphans to take care of or strays to take in. [Well. She can still claim it's only boredom motivating her. He won't tell.]

[She lets out a small amused laugh.] Seems like a pretty sneaky thing to trick us all with. Though better you then me, I suppose. [There's no way she's fighting Darkspawn voluntarily.

She snorts in disbelief.] Oh? Is your do gooderness going to rub off on me?

[Smart move Isabela. Stay well away from darkspawn like anyone intelligent does.]

It might! I can be pretty persuasive. You'll just have to find out. [Next time there's some do-goodery to be done he'll track her down just to get her to help. Without getting paid for it.] You might start to like it. Decide to dedicate your life to helping people. Become a Chantry sister.

[Grow an extra head. He finds it about as likely as her joining the Chantry.]

[Sorry, Alistair she can't help the laugh that comes out of her mouth at that. Her, a chantry sister? The robes would probably burn off her as soon as she put them on.]

I doubt even you're that persuasive, darling. How exactly were you planning on persuading me?

[Yeah, that's about what he expected.]

I might be. I could... Get you really drunk and then drag you out to do charitable work. Or guilt you into it.

[Or whine at her until she gives in. That could work.]

Well, I'll never oppose you getting me drunk. But there are more interesting things we can do drunk that don't involve saving people.

[She smirks at him, her tone overwhelmingly suggestive. Really she can't go more than a few minutes without hitting on someone. Sorry Alistair it's her default mode.]

Though you are welcome to try, darling.

Hah. Ah-

[As much as it makes him blush and as much as he doesn't believe Isabela is really serious with any of her comments, it is good for his ego to have a beautiful woman flirt with him. And he is starting to get used to it - having spent time around Zevran helps there. If he could just stop turning red every time she says something like that.]

I'll try, you can count on it! [Now he just needs some opportunity for do-goodery to arise.] You'll thank me for it when you never have a spare moment to get bored because you're helping people all the time.

I'll believe that when it happens. [Because it never will. But she welcomes you to try Alistair.]

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