You want me to what? BE QUIET? | Open

[fatherlesskind]

Who: Alistair (fatherlesskind) and YOU
Where: All around Wonderland
When: February 12th
Rating: PG-13 to be safe
Summary: Without so much as a pillow fight to be seen, Alistair has to amuse himself somehow. In a very regal, solemn manner, naturally.
The Story:

A - The woods

From somewhere within the woods this morning comes the unmistakable rattle and crash of metal and wood meeting with force, punctuated by the occasional wordless shout of exertion.

Should anyone go looking for the source, the sounds will lead them to a decent sized clearing among the trees. There, a towering figure in full medieval plate armour batters away with sword and shield at a training dummy, heedless of how much noise he's making or if there's anyone else around to be bothered by it. Both shield and breastplate bear a heraldic griffon, the symbol of the Grey Wardens for those who might recognise it, and those who don't might well remember the large, cheerful man often seen wandering around Wonderland with a similar sword at his hip.

He's so intent on vanquishing his imaginary foe that should anyone approach him his first response will be to turn on them, weapons raised in anticipation of an attack. He lowers both a moment later with a chagrined look. "Sorry. I was- Sorry."


B - The grounds

There's still snow outside.

There's snow outside and, for the moment, no trouble or monsters or anything. No pressing need to be somewhere else or to avoid notice or to maintain appearances or anything.

So later in the day Alistair can be seen disappearing outside to find himself a secluded corner somewhere.

An hour or so later the assault begins. Anyone walking the grounds outside the mansion may find themselves under attack. A snowball to the face or back accompanied by a gleeful shout from the one responsible. He's far from stealthy, dressed in dark colours that stand out against the backdrop of white and feet crunching through the snow as he attempts to sneak up on his victims with an armful of missiles. But he has a good arm and those snowballs can travel a long way. Stand and fight or make a run for it, either way he's not about to let up.


C - The library

[In an unusual turn-up, Alistair is in the library. Reading a book. (Yes, shut up, he knows how to read. And no, the tiny letters don't strain him, thank you.)

He's curled up in a chair, sword on the ground beside him, utterly engrossed in the book he'd found whilst poking around. The cover depicts a red-haired woman in armour, surrounded by foes and wielding a sword and shield. Rather appropriately as the book itself is titled 'Swords & Shields' by one Varric Tethras.

As he reads a bright red flush crawls up his cheeks and he hunches further and further over the open book as if trying to hide it from view. He's so caught up in it he doesn't even notice if there's anyone else in the library.

Turning a page he pauses, eyes going wide.]

Oh. Wow.


D - Other

[Choose your own prompt. Alistair can be found anywhere around Wonderland poking his nose into things and talking a lot.]


[OOC: Prose or brackets, take your pick and I'll match.]

Comments

[heroica]

You don't talk too much. [ Robyn says, surprised, almost dismissive of his thinking that in the first place. ] And I hardly think you're the only one who's sometimes less serious, or who is a little more curious than they should be.

[ Zevran, Leliana, Oghren, and Robyn herself are hardly overly-serious, and they whole group is made up of adventurers, to some degree. Seeing places that others have never traveled to... you're going to touch some things that you shouldn't. So, he shouldn't be singled out. ]

Ah, but it won't grow, remember? No one, and nothing, ages in Wonderland.

[ Which is bizarre, of course, but is it more or less strange than the idea of growing older and returning home only to be returned to the age you'd left at?

Imagining a series of Wonderland residents dressed as a dragon and fake-fighting with the other Warden has her laugh again. It isn't particularly difficult to understand, not when there are so many... different people in the mansion with varying levels of sanity. There are also some children, and they would like that sort of thing, wouldn't they? ]

You'll have your legend. [ Robyn flaps a hand at him, thinking of the futures that the others have marked as fact for both herself and Alistair. ] Whether or not you get to play it out here is another story.

[ But, they're only joking, anyhow. Once they've stepped just in the chapel, she quietly notes his expression, the surprise and the grin, which bring a little bit of a flutter to her stomach. "I like it," and the chapel would be completely unaffected by his disapproval, but the fact that he does like it makes her feel strangely comforted. ]

I thought you might want to choose your own robes, Your Reverence. [ She admits a little grin of her own. ] I would never assume your color or size.

[ Ahem. The smile slips a little to a surprised expression of her own when he starts to reach out, and for a fleeting moment, she wants nothing more than to just take his hand, to have that familiar warmth and weight in her own. ... But, she doesn't, because it wouldn't be fair to him, not when she'd promised to think of him as his own person and when he doesn't share the same feelings.

So, adopting a second stab at a smile, she links her fingers behind her back instead. ]

It can be. [ Robyn agrees, nodding. ] Even if it isn't about who I am or aren't, just... hearing about the little things ten years from our time just makes me nervous, somehow. As if there's something we have to work up to, pre-determined, without being able to choose for ourselves.

[ Even though she'd told him that that wasn't the case, since they still have their lives out in front of them no matter what the others said, it's hard to take her own advice. ]

And the others not even from Thedas! The clothing, the technology... the way they speak, even. [ There's an almost wearied giggle. ] Maker, I never thought I could feel so out of place. They seem to know so much more than I do.

[ It's more than a little exhausting. Hence the chapel. ]

The grounds are nice, too, but they can be a little more popular. I'm glad this... worked out.

[ The chapel, she means, of course. Her eyes linger on his face for a moment, thinking, not quite willing to give up their time yet, but: ]

Quite the exciting surprise, I know. [ She speaks up, fairly sheepish. ] But, ah... don't let me keep you. I can imagine you're eager to get back to your book before some other, monstrously tall person comes along and nicks it.

[fatherlesskind]

Awww, that's so sweet!

[Don't get him wrong, he knows he doesn't talk too much. Or have any other problems. But some people don't appreciate that fact as much as others.]

I- Oh.

[So that's a thing then? Pity... Still, it's worth trying. A mabari-sized griffon is still a griffon. And maybe there could be a way to take it home with him somehow so it could grow up properly? Wouldn't that be a sight, the first Warden-griffon team in centuries, facing off against the archdemon... which in this case wouldn't be someone in costume. As much as that would be considerably more fun.]

Well, I suppose that is acceptable. I shall find some at once. [Sadly, if the Warden were to ask him to don robes for her... he's not sure he'd say no. Moving right along then.

Alistair attempts a smile as well, hand dropping back to unconsciously burrow into his pocket and thumb at the rune he still carries.]

I know, it's like nothing we do really matters because the same things are going to happen no matter what. [The Inquisition and whatever events led to its formation. His own future which still does feel like a decision already made. The people they're going to meet and the decisions they'll make, all mapped out already.] I don't much like it.

[Even if it's a path the Maker set out for them... He'd like to think they still get to choose.

And then there's the troubles that have nothing to do with home. This at least is something he can hopefully use to distract her from more depressing thoughts. Alistair grins again, eyes bright with amusement.]

You have no idea! I met these... people the last time this place went all weird and the way they spoke! I couldn't understand a word of it! They were all 'yo' and 'bro' and 'shawty' and then they posed and- [He waves a hand about to try and express just how utterly nonsensical the whole thing had been. Also hilarious now that he's thinking back on it.] I think you had to be there. It was really strange.

[Really, really strange.]

I can show you where I've been practicing one day if you like. If you want somewhere outside to escape it all too.

[It's his favoured way to get away from the strangeness. There's always been something calming about training and the focus it requires.]

Are you calling me a monster now? Because I'm normal sized? [Alistair lets his look of mock outrage fade and looks away again.] Did you have something else to do now? [Not that there was generally a lot to be doing but she has other friends and commitments and he's not discounting that that might be a polite way of asking him to leave.] I mean, it'll still be there tomorrow so if you're not busy maybe we could just... talk? Talk more. [He's quick to add-] It's fine if you have other stuff to do, it's nothing important really!

[heroica]

[ Don't worry, she isn't about to ask him to model Chantry robes. The mental image is just about enough for anyone.

Also, if she knew he was holding onto the rune, she would be very flattered. Likely flustered, too. ]

That's just it, though; everything we do does matter. [ Her eyes seem to blaze a bit with how firmly she believes this; she's very close to stamping her foot decisively. ] Think about it. If our worlds are already so different, then who's to say that there aren't any more changes to be made? It doesn't make sense that there are so many differences, yet you must become king, for example. It's more reasonable to believe that there are as many paths as we've seen so far, or more. Isn't it?

[ Robyn certainly thinks so. Even between all the stories of the others from Thedas, there are details that don't match up. Male Cousland, female Hawke, dwarven Inquisitor, and yet some other fates are sealed across their worlds? It doesn't make sense. ]

'Yo,' and- what? [ The Warden smiles hesitantly, a little incredulous at the words. ] ... Though, I do know what you mean. And I've heard of other religions, other... drinks, things I would never have thought of.

[ On the notorious drunk day, she'd begun trying out a few things in the mansion's bar. It had been an enlightening experience... at first. ]

I... would. [ She's a little surprised by the offer, somehow, and looks pleased that he offers. ] Thank you, Alistair. I would rather be out than in, anyway. It can be a little stifling in here.

[ Trapped in four magical walls when you're used to camping is very stifling. ]

You aren't normal-sized at all, you're far too high up to even be considered! [ It draws out a laugh, one that slows at his next question, to which she follows quickly: ] Oh- No, no, nothing like that. I only thought... But, yes, I would love to keep talking, if you're sure.

[ Maker, how did they go from shouting at one another to this? It's a little unbelievable, but... mostly not. He's still Alistair, after all. Still the friendly, good-hearted person she'd expected at the start. ]

So, if you get your tiny griffon. [ She begins, easily striking up another conversation, again looking at ease. ] What will you feed it? I've no idea how they took care of griffons, back when they lived.

[fatherlesskind]

[The sight would be enough to turn even the strongest of stomachs true, so all of Wonderland is lucky it won't happen.]

You think so? [Because while some things change - two different Warden Couslands, the male and female Hawkes - no one has expected him to have never been a Warden yet. Or said that the Blight wasn't stopped in Ferelden or never even happened. Are those things too big to change or are some events inevitable and others aren't or is it just too complicated for him to have a hope of understanding? Probably that last one.

It'd be nice to know if anyone else has this problem or if their home is just weird.] I guess that makes more sense than some of you just being weird.

[Maybe. It's hard to argue with her when she looks like that. Hard to argue with her but easy to see how she also raised an army against all obstacles without being ruthless or manipulative and why Duncan would have chosen to recruit her.]

I don't know what any of it meant but I should have written it down. [To randomly spout at people and see if anyone could enlighten him. Or just convince everyone from Thedas he's mad.] And who did you go out drinking with to try these things? [He smirks playfully at her as he asks, hardly in a position to criticise given he hasn't stayed sober all the time himself.]

Well, just let me know when you want to go. And we will. [He understands the need for space all too well. Staying one place after so long on the road is as strange as sleeping in an actual bed every night.] And if you want to be left alone just let me know when you're going out there and I'll stay away.

[There's not much point offering a private place without there being actual privacy. Especially as he's apparently a giant and takes up too much space. But a not unwelcome giant it would appear and so Alistair makes himself comfortable, leaning against the side of one of the pews and crossing his ankles in front of him.]

Meat? I think that's what they ate. I could just take it down to the kitchen and offer it a bit of everything to see what it likes. [That sounds like a good plan, right? A newly made griffon would know exactly what was safe for it to eat.]

[heroica]

"Some of you?" [ She repeats, incredulous, shoving him playfully before sitting down in one of the pews, knees drawn up to her chest. ] And are you exempt from being weird, then? Who's to say that there isn't a Thedas where you're a woman, or a qunari? [ Or both?? But, she doesn't want to install any worrying thoughts in him, or to incite a general panic. So, she just smiles mildly, shaking her head. ] But, I do think so, that it's possible for us, still, to change what's to come. [ She believes most of what she says, usually. ]

Who- Oh, I didn't go there with anyone. [ There's the teeniest hint of a flush; Maker forbid anyone think her a drunk, or anything close to it. She rarely imbibes, but this had been... extenuating circumstances. ] I was- That is, I hadn't been there, yet, and I thought I should. A lot of people spend their time there; it's a good place to learn about Wonderland.

[ And the bartender, Simon, sensing her mild distress, had offered a few strange, foreign drinks to taste. Some had involved... chocolate? ]

Well, we could always walk down now while the weather is nice. [ But she's quick to add: ] Though, I've already run you up all ten floors of the mansion, so I realize asking you to travel all the way back down again right now may be a little much.

[ Hmm, but... griffon diets. She tilts her head a touch to the side, considering. ]

Meat. [ Robyn repeats, chuckling. ] Simple. It does make sense! Though... I would be careful with it in the kitchen; it may go for someone's fingers if you don't find something else it likes quickly enough.

[ Maybe not, though. All she knows of the beasts is what she's heard in tales and legends, which are almost never based in fact. ]

[fatherlesskind]

[Alistair grins, rocking with the shove.] I'd never be a qunari. They don't have a sense of humour and it wouldn't be me if I couldn't laugh. [That much really is immutable. If he didn't have the same brilliant wit somewhere else then he'd just be someone else with the same name as him. It is known.] We'll find out. Eventually. [When they go back home. If they return to Wonderland after. If that really, truly is how it works. Because it still seems a little... odd to him.]

A bar? [It does make some sense. In most towns the local tavern is a good place to hear gossip and get illegal jobs and meet all kinds of people who may or may not try to kill you. Why would it be any different in Wonderland? Although it is a little strange that Robyn seems to be blushing. He considers prodding her about it but after a moment decides to let it go. As... relaxed as this conversation is, they're still on shaky footing with each other. But teasing her is just fine.]

To learn about different kinds of drinks you mean? I'll remember to ask you if I ever want to experiment. [Maybe next time he gets in a drinking contest with someone they can make it a bit more interesting.]

You're right. I just can't take all this walking! What do people do without servants to carry them around on their backs? [Really, how do people deal with that sort of thing? He just can't picture it. Yep. Shoving to his feet he tilts his head at Robyn questioningly.] Shall we? Or are you too comfortable there?

[Since the spot will still be there later. And they can discuss the care and feeding of griffons here or on the way.]

My fingers you mean. Maybe I'll have some meat ready for when I get it. [Pausing, he glances slyly at her out of the corner of his eye and adds-] And just think, even if we can only get one as big as a mabari, you could still ride it!

[Should he duck now?]

[heroica]

That's true. You need to be able to make all your jokes and keep things light while the rest of us are being miserable.

[ He's usually the one making people laugh, so hearing him laugh in return, when something does bring about that reaction in him, is warming and makes her smile. ]

Like a tavern- Yes. [ The bar, as they call it. Cleaner and much better-smelling than the places they're used to. ] I did learn a little, but there was so much to it... there were a lot of different choices and things to mix in. The man who works there was talking about chocolate, and... soda, and a dozen kinds of alcohol to go with them. [ She laughs weakly, shaking her head. ] You don't want to ask me; I'm no good with all that.

[ She doesn't drink much, as many people observed that night. ]

Too comfortable to consider carrying you on my back, if that's what you mean. [ Not that she could do it, though, with respect to their comparative sizes and weights. She smiles with measured smugness as she rises, but at the comment about her height, her mouth falls open in indignant surprise and she smacks him on the arm. ]

You-! Again with that talk! [ Robyn blows a raspberry at him, mature Grey Warden as she is. ] If we took a poll of who is a more reasonable size, I guarantee most would say I'm closer to it!

[ Acting more aloof, she sticks up her nose and starts back down the stairs, turning her back to him. ]

At least I would get to ride it, then. You could only watch!

[fatherlesskind]

That's my job.

[That and killing whatever he's pointed at. But mostly it's bad jokes.]

Chocolate in a drink? [That could be... weird. Or awful, if the bartender who made the suggestion meant ale or something. Ew.] I'll have to figure it out myself then. [Even just a couple to try maybe. It's not like he'll get the chance in Ferelden.]

Well now you're just being selfish. [Though he's glad she's not about to try. That would be painful for them both. Also hilarious to see. But painful.]

Oww! [As is that unwarranted attack. Painful. For him. Very painful. Cradling his arm, Alistair pouts and trails after her down the stairs once more.]

That depends on who we're asking. Are we tracking down everyone dwarf-sized or smaller? Or are we asking normal-sized people like me? [Extending his stride to catch up, Alistair pats her on the shoulder comfortingly.] Don't feel bad. You're definitely not the shortest person I've met here.

[That dubious honour goes to P-Dot, the tiny green woman. Gem. Whatever. Who might actually be able to ride Robyn's mabari. If she's still around and wasn't just part of the last event he will have to suggest it.]

And when I get my griffon I promise I'll let you ride it, OK?

[Yes, he's asking to be smacked again. What can he say, he likes living dangerously.]

[heroica]

You will. And, if Isabela offers you... ale, I think it was, from Rivain, then turn it away. It was very strong.

[ And it makes her head hurt just to think about it. ]

Oh, selfish, is it? Selfish to think I might just send us both toppling down the stairs if I tried that?

[ The mental image of her trying to carry him on her back is funny enough, though. ]

You are being an absolute fiend. [ She doesn't hit him again, but her expression has an amused, but calculating sort of look to it. It's possible that she's plotting her revenge beneath the surface. ] And I'm not dwarf-sized. I was taller than almost every one that we met in Orzammar.

[ SO THERE. ]

[fatherlesskind]

If Isabela offers me anything I'll say no.

[She's a menace to his dignity when he's sober. Being drunk with her is out of the question.]

When you put it like that, I can let you off. This once. I expect proper treatment next time, mind.

[Just as soon as she gains about a foot of height and a build like Sten.]

Were you really? [Yeah, that look? He's going to pay for this sooner or later. Well, in for a copper as they say.] Did you have thick soled boots on? I mean, you did say almost everyone you met in Orzammar. So how many dwarves were taller than you?

[heroica]

There's wisdom in that.

[ Distantly, she wonders what the duelist's offer had been to Aedan Cousland and his companions in the Pearl. Had he taken her up on the suggestion? Had he been romantically involved with any of his party members?

Best not to ask. ]

I wonder what your idea of proper treatment is. [ As they trot down the steps, going from the tenth floor down to the first, she tries to look appraisingly over at her fellow Warden. ] Nothing good, I expect.

[ Not really. Knowing him as she does, or... did, she knows how actually harmless all their teasing is. ]

Only a few. [ Robyn replies coolly, trying to look aloof. ] I had on my normal boots and only a few exceptionally-tall dwarves stood above me. Better than to be nearly three times their height, stomping through the place like an enormous monster, which... you were.

[ Again, the Warden aims a sort of nyeh face in his direction, scrunching up her nose. ]

[fatherlesskind]

You wound me! [See how he clutches at his chest? That is a mortal wound there.] My idea of proper treatment is perfectly normal I'll thank you. Silk pillows to sit on, piggyback rides everywhere and a beautiful maiden to peel grapes for me. You could do tha-

[He stops himself in the middle of suggesting she take the latter role, the uncomfortable memory of his own face and voice saying things he never said to someone he's only known a short while rising up. That... wouldn't be a good idea. They're getting to be friends despite the rocky start and weirdness, he's not going to ruin it. Or betray his double like that.

Clearing his throat Alistair quickly moves on in the hope that she won't notice the slip.]

It was difficult to deal with. They kept mistaking me for a funny looking golem and trying to find my control rod. [Wait. Wait.... Groaning he stops in the middle of the staircase and buries his face in his hands, voice muffled when he speaks again-] I really just said that, didn't I?

[And without Zevran or Isabela around to hear. Maybe the Maker does look out for him.]

[heroica]

[ Of course she notices that he cuts off a bit at the end of his sentence, and though she hadn't thought much of it (aside from a slightly-steadier pattering of her pulse), she gently submits: ]

Well, Wonderland has no shortage of beautiful maidens, and, as you know, you can find endless grapes and silk pillows. You've got everything you need, though... you may be hard-pressed to find someone to carry you.

[ She smiles kindly, as if to say don't think anything of it. There are dozens of other, wonderful women in the mansion who may have already caught his eye, and... it's entirely within his right, of course. He has no obligation to her, and they really don't know each other technically, and... how had she gotten onto this thought?

How does she get away from the little, painful pinching at her heart?

Robyn, too, clears her throat to excuse the lapse in conversation. Luckily, what he says next draws a surprised laugh. ]

I didn't think all dwarves were as forward as Oghren. [ Maker, but the accidental innuendo is even a little much for her, at least, with their relationship being... strange and nebulous as it is. There are the very, very faintest traces of pink in the height of her cheeks as they finally reach the ground floor and begin to move toward the front doors. ] Oh - Which did you support for king? Assuming you all had the same experiences of being somehow so deeply involved in Orzammar politics.

[fatherlesskind]

Maybe Shale or Sten will show up. They could manage it.

[He shoots her a grateful look, relieved that she doesn't comment. It's strange enough as is, the last thing he should be doing is saying things like that.

And as.... weird. Uncomfortable. As it is for him it has to be more than a little upsetting for Robyn too, being reminded of who he's not. Which has to matter a little, even if, true to her word, she treats him like a completely different person with whom she's just friends and nothing more.

Just because he feels bad for her it doesn't make her response any less horrifying, mind.]

Oghren-! [Cue spluttering as Alistair tries desperately not to think anything at all and fails miserably. Screwing up his face in disgust he moans miserably-] Now I need a bath.

[And one for his mind too. Or a good distraction.]

I guess so? You got the run around with Harrowmont and Bhelen too right? 'Go do this', 'go do that', 'kill them', 'fight this', 'find her'. Ugh. [It had been frustrating to say the least, jumping through so many hoops with the Blight looming overhead. But that's not answering Robyn's question.] We- Aedan chose to support Bhelen's claim.

[A decision he's still not sure he agrees with or not. Bhelen was underhanded and untrustworthy. But he had been willing to give the casteless a chance to fight which was better than most dwarves seemed to feel they deserved. And in the end, Bhelen hadn't been the worst of them down there. Stepping ahead, Alistair pushes open the door for her, frowning out at the grounds as he does.] What- What did you do about Branka? You found her too, right?

[heroica]

Could manage... what, acting as your 'beautiful maiden?' They may have a harder time peeling grapes, given that their fingers are a bit larger. Or... stone.

[ She knows what he'd meant, of course, but the playful banter comes easily, and she flashes him a cheeky grin from her position. ]

I've never heard someone speak the way he does. [ Not with quite so much abandon. The man has absolutely no filter and has said enough filth to make half the camp turn red. ] Zevran, at least, makes it sound... I don't know, flowery.

[ But, then, just about everyone their assassin friend does is done smoothly, unlike the dwarf's bluntness. ]

Of course. But, then, that's just how it's been throughout. I don't mind, though. [ Robyn adds quickly. ] If we can help people along the way, I don't see why we shouldn't. Isn't that the point of being a Grey Warden?

[ Plus all the stuff with the Blights and the darkspawn, naturally. ]

We supported Harrowmont. [ 'We,' and not 'I.' She replies with a small and almost weary smile. ] I should have known that it'd be the opposite. Is there any chance he's my unpleasant, bitter-sounding twin, only in another universe?

[ On second thought, she doesn't even want to speak hypothetically about being related to the man. Alistair hasn't made him sound very appealing, anyway.

At the mention of Branka, her smile fades. The day outside is beautiful and bright, but she can remember too easily the Deep Roads and the things they'd found beneath. ]

... Yes. To assure Harrowmont's claim, we went out to find the Anvil of the Void. [ She can guess without too much trouble what Aedan likely chose, but she won't say it aloud. ] ... I knew it would be difficult for Oghren, but we fought Branka. After hearing what Caridin had to say, I couldn't stand by and allow her to create more golems. [ As they walk, she glances downward, worrying at her bottom lip. ] We had to kill Branka, in the end. Caridin crafted a crown for the new king and ended his own life. Before we returned, though, we destroyed the Anvil, as he'd asked.

[ Now, she peers almost cautiously up at him, not quite wanting to ask. ]

Did Aedan instead think that... an army of golems might be put to a more strategic use?

[fatherlesskind]

Sten could do it I think. He has big hands but he's not clumsy.

[Whereas Shale would just squish them. And if he has to call one of them beautiful then.... he'll do it while running for his life. From either one.]

He's drunk all the time. What do you expect? [Being smooth probably requires sobriety. And tact. Neither of which Oghren has. Although Zevran is just as good at making him turn red as the dwarf.]

Helping is one thing. But a lot of that felt more like they were just jerking us around to prove they could. Making Grey Wardens run their errands and fight their battles for them when they should have wanted to end the Blight as much as we do.

[Being asked to help defend Redcliffe or reclaim the Circle had been one thing, but helping Bhelen deceive people and slaughtering the Carta had been something else. That had seemed less like they were helping and more like they were being used to clean up a mess that no one else wanted to bother with. But maybe he's just letting his dislike of the new dwarven king and said king's tactics influence him.

Alistair snorts with amusement at the suggestion that Robyn and Aedan might be twins somewhere, trying to picture it a moment before pulling a face.]

Only if that means you're still in charge.

[Maybe then he'd be happier with how everything has gone since Ostagar. It certainly would have been an improvement in Orzammar. As they make their way towards the woods Alistair keeps his gaze fixed ahead rather than see the expression on Robyn's face as she looks up at him. She guesses immediately what choice Aedan made and he nods unhappily.]

Got it in one. [He sounds gloomily resigned, still unhappy about the decision.] We killed Caridin and left Branka with the Anvil. To keep sacrificing people. I didn't- [It doesn't matter what he did or didn't want. The decision had been made and he'd let it happen.] She promised we'd have golems to fight the darkspawn. But it wasn't the right thing to do. I know we're supposed to do whatever it takes but some things are going too far.

[As useful as they'd be, it isn't worth the price. Even Caridin had felt that way. And that was completely ignoring what Branka had done to her own household.]

[heroica]

[ The idea of Sten (and for some reason, in this imagining of him, he's in a dress to play the role of 'beautiful maiden') feeding grapes to Alistair is... hilarious, to say the least, however unlikely. It's more probable that the qunari would try and choke the life out of both of them if they suggested it, but she can't help the lilting laugh that escapes at the thought. ]

I don't know, I've never spent so much time with a dwarf! Until Orzammar, anyhow.

[ Not that Oghren is in any way a representation of his entire race, based on her later experiences with them. ]

That's... true. [ She frowns slightly, thinking of the many tasks they'd been set to in the dwarven city alone, not to mention all the other places they visited. ] Though, sometimes I think it really did make a difference, you know? Not all of the time, but... some of those people really needed our help. There was a dwarven girl who wanted to study at the Circle, and I'm not sure she would have made it if we hadn't interceded on her behalf.

[ Thinking of Dagna brings another little smile to her face; it had been hard to say no to that enthusiasm, and the First Enchanter had really owed them a few favors, after all. ]

I can try and be a suitable leader. [ Not over Aedan, though, preferably. Not after all that Alistair's said. And now, with the admission of his actions down in the Deep Roads, her pleased look fades again into something ruminating and a touch bitter. ]

How could he do all those things, be so callous? [ Robyn shakes her head, staring hard ahead at the grass as they approach the outskirts of the forest. ] I know, like you said, that some things are necessary to end the Blight, but...

[ She doesn't blame the others; Aedan had obviously had an iron grip on the group and its actions and decisions. The idea that Aedan was the man who lived in her place makes her stomach clench up painfully and she worries at her bottom lip. ]

I'm sorry. [ The Warden says finally, quietly, now looking up to the other. ] I can't imagine going through all that, watching him... choose those things. I only wish you'd been leading the party rather than him.

[fatherlesskind]

[Well, no. There were plenty of sober dwarves in Orzammar that is true. But it's hard to remember that after a while stuck listening to Oghren snore.]

You got her a place at the Circle? Really? [A dwarf at the Circle of Magi. Who'd have ever thought it could happen. Even given the state of the Circle he didn't think they'd have taken on someone who could never learn magic. It says something about Robyn that she managed to convince the First Enchanter to let the girl in question study there. And that she cares so much about helping others. Glancing down at her and the pleased expression on her face he can't help smiling as well.

The expression fades quickly as she questions the actions of the other Warden Cousland and he shakes his head.]

I don't know. He said to me once 'Wardens do what is needed, not what is nice' but... being a decent human shouldn't interfere with stopping the Blight.

[He stops abruptly when Robyn suggests he could have taken charge of the party, blinking down at her in surprise. Even now, after being told he should - and it seems will - take the throne of Ferelden it's still a surprise that someone thinks he can lead anything. After a moment Alistair resumes walking, leading the way between the trees as he replies-]

I don't know if that would have been a good idea. [He may not like the direction their efforts against the Blight have taken but at least there have been efforts made.] I must have- The 'me' you know must have been as much of a mess after Ostagar as I was. I don't know if I could have led anything until it was too late.

[He'd been too caught up in his grief at the start, too unsure of himself and his decisions. Even if he tried he wonders if anyone would have agreed to support a Grey Warden who scarcely believed in himself.]

Maybe I shouldn't complain so much. I didn't exactly step up.

[It doesn't excuse what's happened but it is the truth.]

[heroica]

Well, after the... incident at Kinloch Hold, the First Enchanter agreed to the request. She still can't practice actual magic, of course, but she wanted to study magical theory and wasn't allowed to do so by her father. She gave up her caste for the experience; I think the First Enchanter could see how important it was to her.

[ It should have been clear to everyone, Robyn thinks, how strongly Dagna had wanted to study within the Circle. What she'd said about it had been impressive, too; the dwarf obviously had been considering it for a long time and hadn't just produced the idea on a whim. ]

Wardens do do what is needed, but they can do it in ways that don't hurt the innocent. It needn't be one or the other.

[ As Alistair said, a Grey Warden could still be decent and human and still stop the darkspawn. Insisting otherwise seems more like taking the easy way out than anything.

Robyn follows him through the trees, listening with a slight frown. ]

Of course you were a mess- Maker's breath, Alistair, we both were. We'd almost died on that tower, and we would have, if Morrigan's mother hadn't stepped in. After that, and after Duncan-

[ She cuts off, though she's still walking alongside him. After a few seconds' consideration, she picks up: ]

I can only guess that his situation was the same; do you know how Aedan was able to escape what happened at Highever? How I was able to survive it, too?

[fatherlesskind]

I think anyone who cared to could have seen it.

[The dwarven girl had been so eager to learn, he remembers that much even after meeting her so briefly. Maybe she found a way to get her wish in his Ferelden too, even without help.

Helping in that case had admittedly had nothing to do with their duty as Wardens. But their job was to protect people. Primarily from the darkspawn but that didn't excuse them from everything else.]

That's what I tried to say. But- [Alistair shakes his head, fists clenching by his sides in frustration.] It didn't get through.

[An understatement. That confrontation had gone absolutely nowhere. The most he can say is that he'd spoken up and hope it counts for something.]

I heard some of it. [He hesitates, glancing down at her worriedly. It honestly hadn't occurred to him until just then that the things Howe had done to Aedan Cousland's family would also have happened to Robyn Cousland. She would have been as distraught after Ostagar as he was. But she'd been the one to shoulder the burden of leadership. It makes him feel selfish, knowing if they were from the same Ferelden he'd have left everything to her despite all she lost.] It was because Duncan was there, wasn't it? He helped you escape after- After.

[He doesn't know all the details but everyone had heard about the massacre at Highever. It was no secret. Her entire family. Pausing, Alistair reaches out to squeeze her shoulder gently, uncertain if she'll welcome an attempt at comfort or not. This could well have come up between Robyn and 'her Alistair', making anything he has to offer an unwelcome reminder, but he can't ignore it.]

[heroica]

You saw her, then. [ Robyn confirms, but she doesn't need to ask what they did for the dwarven girl. Or, rather, what Aedan Cousland did, which was likely nothing at all. She has no doubt that Alistair himself and some of their other companions would have helped her had they been directing the group's movements. ]

Then, he's an ass for not listening to you. [ She say finally, and firmly. ] I know you don't think much of your own leadership, but you're easily kind enough to have done the right thing. Throughout, even, not just for Dagna.

[ He's so much more than that and she wants to tell him so, but her stomach twists uncomfortably and she knows it'd be selfish to even seem anything more than... friendly. His sister-in-arms. As such, it's easy to fall back into the conversation about Duncan and Highever, to let the mixed sadness show because of that, and only that, rather than as a result of how she feels for him (even now, even if he doesn't remember). ]

If Duncan hadn't been there, I would have died. [ She says quietly, the memory of their escape still fresh and sharp in her mind. ] I didn't know him like you did, not at all, but my father thought... so much of him. I could see even in our short time together why he was so respected and well-loved. To lose him so soon after- I just didn't want you to share that burden alone.

[ Strangely, it didn't really come to conversation between herself and the Alistair back in Ferelden. There had been too many other things to do and to discuss that they didn't have time for her own, bloody past. The gesture, his reaching out for her shoulder, is somehow a surprise, and she can't keep the pink from the apples of her cheeks. ]

... Thank you. [ She says finally, reaching up to delicately lay her hand over his. ] But you lost your family, too. At Osatagar. I'm hardly the only one who's suffered.

[fatherlesskind]

[Alistair can't stop a quiet huff of laughter as Robyn declares Aedan to be an ass. Not inaccurate he'd say but not what he'd expected. It still comes as a surprise that she thinks so highly of him, though maybe it shouldn't. She certainly hasn't made a secret of her opinions, based as they may be on someone he's not sure how much he has in common with. Enough that she really does seem to know him and it's been surprisingly easy to fall into a friendship despite only recently have mended their bridges.

He doesn't protest the claim, even if he can't help but wonder if she's not just a little biased, just shoots her a faintly embarrassed, faintly pleased smile.

One that's quickly lost as she talks of her family and Duncan and how she'd escaped Howe's attack.]

I'm glad he was there to help you. That he managed to get you out of there. [Flushing faintly himself he clears his throat.] I wish you could have gotten to know him. I think you would have liked him. And he would have been proud to have a Warden like you.

[Catching her hand in his own he brings them down between them, squeezing lightly.]

I... didn't know all of them that well. Mostly just Duncan. And I wasn't there to see... What I mean is, if you ever want to talk about them I'd be happy to listen.

[heroica]

[ Truthfully, she would say the same for anyone she cared about. Were it Brennan or Dorian especially, in Wonderland, or any of her companions in Thedas, she would sing their praises as long as they let her. It's the kind of person that the Warden is, whether or not there's any romance involved. It's why, despite what else she feels for him, she has no issue with letting Alistair know that she supports him and thinks highly of him. ]

So am I. [ Without Duncan, she would have been killed, too. She wouldn't have become a Warden or met any of the others, and together, they won't (wouldn't?) be able to stop the Blight. ] I would have loved to know him better, to see more of the good things you've told me about and of those I've seen.

[ "He would have been proud to have a Warden like you." There's a little, sheepish smile and another light touch of pink and she clears her throat in return. ]

You're too kind. [ Robyn says quietly, brushing some of her hair from her face with her free hand. ] And I may not have known him, but, Alistair- I could tell how proud he was of you, even in that brief time.

[ Duncan had been Alistair's mentor, and it isn't much of a stretch to say that the veteran had loved the younger Warden and thought of him as a son. Still, it isn't her place to say, so she doesn't... but, she does hope that he knows.

He takes her hand, bringing it down between them, and automatically hers closes a little more firmly around his. He offers a squeeze and she thumbs lightly along the skin there, looking down as if captivated. ]

Talk about the Wardens, you mean? [ She questions lightly, still grasping his hand, but looking up at the taller soldier with a little smile. ] I... would love to hear about them, sometime. I may meet some of the others after the Blight, but I'm more interested in your stories. They're likely to be more exciting.

[ The brunette giggles brightly, teeth appearing in another smile. ]

[fatherlesskind]

[He smiles down at her, pleased to hear someone else talking about Duncan and remembering him, wanting to have a chance to know him. He deserved better than he'd gotten and his killer still needed to be brought to justice but so long as he was remembered it was... something.

He has to swallow against the sudden lump in his throat. That someone who'd only know Duncan a short-time and only seen how he acted around Alistair for an even shorter time felt that way.... He glances away, blinking furiously to clear his eyes.]

You really think- [He has to stop and clear his throat before he can say anything more, voice thick with emotion when he does manage to speak.] ...Thank you.

[It's not near enough for saying something he'd always wanted to hear but it's all he can mange right then. Looking down at their hands as well to avoid Robyn's gaze Alistair shrugs nervously.]

Talk about the Wardens or your family. [Is that too forward? He never met any of the Couslands besides Robyn and Aedan. At best he might have seen the eldest son at Ostagar but Robyn might not have had an older brother. He's quick to go on, a note of uncertainty in his voice-] If that would help. But if you just want to hear about the other Wardens I knew I can do that too. I can't promise exciting stories but I'll do my best.

[If all she wants is to hear about people she never knew and avoid the reminder of what she lost he can't fault her for that at all. And he wouldn't mind the chance to talk about the people he knew however briefly that were lost at Ostagar.]

[heroica]

[ They would get justice for Duncan and for the other Wardens. For her family, too, and not too far from their present. Robyn is a believer in mercy, but what Howe and Loghain did... isn't excusable. It had been beyond wrong, no matter what anyone said. In her mind, it was all evil.

She catches the emotion in his face and courteously glances away, not wanting to make him feel self-conscious, though Alistair does the same not long after. ]

I do. [ Robyn confirms softly. ] I mean it.

[ To her, it was obvious to see what the man had thought of the young Warden. He ought to know how much his mentor believed in him.

Somehow, his offer surprises her, and she looks up with something like wonder and then hastily glances back down again. ]

I- [ Something warm flutters in her chest at the thought of being able to talk about her family again, and she smiles down at their hands as she turns the idea over in her mind. ] ... I haven't spoken of them much at all since I've been here. Even in Ferelden, we... didn't have a lot of time.

[ Finally, she glances at him again, expression one of gratitude. ]

I would love that. If you really don't mind, that is. And you can tell me about the Wardens, some of your favorite stories or the trouble you got into.

[ It's easy to imagine that young recruits, even to the Grey Wardens, might have some silly instances to share. She's just relieved to be able to talk about her family after so long, and it feels a little as if a knot has loosened in her chest. ]

Ah- [ Robyn speaks up again suddenly, glancing around. ] Is... this where you go to get away, right here? Or is it somewhere else nearby?