entrancelogs | ( closed ) ally or foe? maker only knows

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( closed ) ally or foe? maker only knows

Who: Robyn, Alistair, Carver, and Anders, AKA Wonderland's Grey Wardens
Where: The roof
When: March 11th, night
Rating: PG-13 for Grey Wardens
Summary: After the fourth one arrived, it became time for a meeting of their (however disgruntled) order.
The Story: [ After Alistair appeared in the mansion... well, things had been complicated enough with all that to even think about discussing Warden matters in Wonderland. Then, not long after, the man called Anders had arrived, though neither of the other two had known him, with the mage having come from their future. When this week had brought Carver Hawke, a fourth Grey Warden, to Wonderland, Robyn decided it was time to take some action.

She'd written to all three of them, though not over the devices, as was apparently more common in the mansion. Instead, the would-be Hero of Ferelden wrote physical letters, notes addressed to each, asking to meet after sunset at the end of the week to speak as Grey Wardens. After all, with all that she's learned since her late-summer arrival, there are a dozen or so things that need to be addressed. Though she's hardly the senior in their group, the immense confusion bounced between every person in Thedas made it difficult for one of their four to remember that (in her mind) they still had duties, even so far from Thedas.

It's how she can be found on the rooftop now, the mabari at her side, waiting. If they don't appear, she'll be more disappointed than surprised, and will likely hound them anyway to go over the details of what the people from Thedas who live in the mansion already know... and what they don't. ]

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[ So. Right. Instead of helping, he's only made it worse.

Well, that's nothing new. He does, at least, feel a bit guilty about it. Just as he did when he spoke with Alistair before. He doesn't want to be the one to share this kind of dreary story, but it's only fair they know. It may not be the outcome for them, but some things are going to line up. Aren't they? He honestly has no fucking idea and this whole entire disaster is making his head hurt. Maybe tonight he'll spend a little time getting to intimately know the booze selection his closet will give him. ]

It wasn't their fault, the mages. [ The world is ending, Carver is defending mages who turned to blood magic. ] Not saying it wasn't bloody stupid. Or that it was right. It... was just a shit of a situation. I don't— [ he exhales harshly, both hands carding through his hair ] I've never heard anything like it. Felt worse than the nightmares at times because for a time no one knew and no one was saying anything. You know how the Wardens like their secrets, even within the Order.

[ This whole entire thing is uncomfortable and Carver's stomach twists, alerting him that he's fed up with talking about all of this. It's not that simple, of course, since he's the only one who knows of what happens. Or what might come to happen. Or what might not even happen at all. He doesn't make eye contact with anyone and instead stares off somewhere out over the land, just barely keeping all of them in his peripheral. ]

For your sake I hope it doesn't happen wherever you come from. But, it's a real thing that happened for me. This whole mess exists somewhere.

I think it does. [ 'Happen wherever she came from,' anyway. Robyn is still frowning slightly, more considering everything he's said and giving it deep thought rather than angsting over the future woes of the Wardens. ] The Inquisitor seemed unwilling to tell me... something about the Wardens in his time. He may have mentioned it if I'd been involved, but he also said, at the time, I was - will be? - in the Deep Roads looking for a cure for the taint.

[ She shakes her head wearily. Though he'd claimed her to be the queen and Warden-Commander, off hunting for a way to save them from their ultimate and sad fates, Brennan couldn't say for sure that the Lady Cousland he'd heard from had been her, exactly.

Still. ]

There may yet be a silver lining, if we manage to find it. [ "We" and not "I," because she's never been an individualist. The Warden smiles faintly. ] I'm not sure what they all know of the Joining, but if all goes as planned, we won't need to conscript within Wonderland.

[ She's joking, though they don't exactly have the resources to put recruits through the process even if she wasn't. ]

Thank you, Carver. [ Robyn says finally, earnestly, looking to the other Warden. ] I can't imagine how difficult it was to recount for us, let alone to go through. And you didn't have to be honest about it, but you did.

[ He could have easily lied and said all was well for the future of the Grey Wardens, and unlikely as that would be, no one could exactly refute him. Not among their four, anyway. ]

_{[Anders is conspicuously silent throughout the talk of recommitting themselves to their oaths of comradeship in Wonderland, stopping Corypheus, and forgiving the Wardens' mages for losing their minds and falling to demon-summoning. Ancient magisters, real? The Wardens condoning blood magic and being tricked into destroying themselves? Nothing makes a single lick of sense. What's next, flying nugs that breath fire? It's crazy, and surely they see that. Surely he can't be the only one bursting with things to say.

But the thing is, he can't say anything about it, and that's the worst part.

The questions rise up like bile in his throat, but he can't vent them, not after his conversation with Alistair about him succumbing to demonic influence. Not suspecting Carver Hawke could be the same Hawke he'd been warned had killed him. Crack the lid on that can of worms and there'd be no putting it back. Troubling as Carver's story is, Anders isn't prepared to blow up their gathering with some ill-timed comment that sparks another debate about the future.

He breathes out through his nose and watches the zig-zagging path of a star above his head. Stewing in silence it is, then.

At least until there's another lull in the conversation. He was never all that great at the staying quiet thing.]}

I should've known this wouldn't be a pleasant meeting with snacks where we go around in a circle and play ice breaker games. Can someone explain what an Inquisition is and why it isn't a forgotten bit of history?

_{[Inquisitor this, darkspawn-magister that. For being the future, it sure seems to be fond of bring back golden oldies from centuries long past.]}

Edited 2016-03-16 05:04 (UTC)

[He can't stay still. With such a cheerful topic of conversation Alistair has too much nervous energy to just stand placidly and discuss it all. Yet somehow he doesn't think anyone will appreciate him pacing about as they talk. Carver already looks like he wishes he were anywhere else and Robyn and Anders can't be in much better spirits. So he stays where he's standing and tries with varying success not to fidget too obviously.

Tries not to think about what that might be like - hearing the Calling all of a sudden, eventually finding out it was affecting everyone. The entire order, facing their impending death. Maybe that would be enough to prompt so many to turn to blood magic. He's not sure he would claim it wasn't their fault in Carver's place but he's not and Maker willing never will be. He already knows he's not from the same place as Carver, knowing a different Warden than the other man does so maybe it's possible.

Or maybe not, as Robyn admits she's likely to be in for the same future. He shoots her a curious look when she mentions looking for a cure for the taint - is that even possible? It's not something he'd ever even considered as an option. Something to ask her about later.]

I think the games come after the doom and gloom. [That way they can cheer themselves up again. Maybe. Turning back to Carver and Robyn he goes on-] One of you can explain the Inquisition better than me.

[Apparently his contribution to this meeting is to take up space. It's not his fault the Inquisition doesn't exist for him yet either and he hasn't gotten to know Brennan as well as Robyn. But it does leave him feeling a bit useless. Maybe he should be the one to go fetch some snacks. It might help with the doom and gloom.]

[ Unlike everyone else, Carver eventually doesn't stay still. He can't. There's too much pent up energy inside him and because he can't settle on what emotion to feel, he has to release it somehow and not blow up. So, he fidgets first, then begins a slow back and forth pace by the time he starts talking again. Having more information is turning into some wild ride he never wanted. ]

All right. I only know most of this second hand from a friend who was a part of the Inquisition. He wrote when he could and told me things.

[ He looks Anders dead in the face while he speaks for at least the first sentence. ]

The mage-templar war spread out across Thedas and a conclave was called. Corypheus was there—I don't know why, only that he was—and caused the Breach. Which... was a huge hole in the sky and demons poured out of it. It was opening these... rifts all over Thedas and demons were just coming out of the Fade. Whatever it was that caused the Breach caused an explosion killing the Divine and everyone at the conclave. The Inquisitor—a qunari for me, not the [ he waves his hand to encompass Trevelyan here ] one here—was there and got this mark on his hand that can close the rifts.

Because the Divine was dead, Seeker Penteghast and... [ he trails off, trying to remember her name, ] the Left Hand of the Divine, [ ...! ] Leliana—that's it—invoked the Inquisition to handle closing the Breach.

They named a sodding qunari as Inquisitor because of the mark on his hand and eventually the Breach was closed and Corypheus dead. Obviously other stuff happened in between, but I don't know much of it and the rest...

[ He just leaves it at that. Alistair already knows about the part with his sister. It's not pertinent information to share. It's personal, in a way, and he doesn't feel like inviting that conversation again. ]

If you really want to know, I'd think the one here can provide better answers than mine coming from a storytelling dwarf.

I know some of it. [ Robyn confirms quickly, looking from Carver to Alistair, and then to Anders. ] I can explain what the Inquisitor and Dorian have told me. [ She turns again to the younger Hawke and, ever the mother hen, firmly says: ] You've done more than enough for us; you needn't go through it anymore just yet. Thank you.

[ It must be exhausting, she thinks, relaying all of that with almost the entire story being so dark and grim. That future may not come to all of them, but it's still endlessly important to know what they may face in their respective futures. They wouldn't know a lot of the details without Carver's contribution, generating a surge of gratefulness for the Warden.

As if reading her mind, Oren trots over to him and tries to lick his hands in a reassuring sort of way. ]

At least we know that it ends. [ She says firmly. ] And it may not happen exactly that way for all of us. Corypheus may not always be freed, the Wardens might not always turn to blood magic; it isn't easy to think of it this way, with so much left to chance, but it... helps.

[ After all, in more version of their world than not, she doesn't even exist. ]

I only wanted to see where we stand. [ "We," we Grey Wardens, all of us together as one, small unit. ] But we needn't dwell on it, not while there isn't much to be done.

_{[The only problem with Alistair's idea is that the doom and gloom doesn't seem inclined to stop anytime soon.]}

Mage-templar war? What war? Why are we warring?

_{[He looks around in each of them in bafflement. Anders had been looking for a simple explanation for what the purpose of a modern Inquisition is, but he gets more than he bargained for in the form of holes in the sky, and demons, and-- And aren't Qunari supposed to be scary cultists with horns?

Surprised his head isn't spinning, it isn't long before Anders puts a surrendering hand up.]}

I shouldn't have asked. Never mind, forget it, I don't want to know! _{[To Robyn, he smiles, tense but eager to do as advised and not dwell.]} I vote we don't think about it at all. All in favor? Well, I'm approving the motion for myself, at any rate.

[Anders may have the right idea. Alistair has heard bits and pieces of the Inquisition's story from Brennan but hearing the whole thing put together it starts to become a bit much. First the Wardens become blood mages then there's demons everywhere and an ancient magister straight out of legend is behind it all and mages and templars are at war and the Divine is killed... all they need is another archdemon and an invasion by the qunari and he's sure that everything that could wrong will have.

Not thinking about it all seems the best option if he doesn't want to wind up a drooling lunatic for real. Anders' call for a vote gets a mumbled-] In favour.

[Now that that's decided. Smiling faintly he turns to Robyn.]

I've said it before but I'm saying it again - I thought ending a Blight meant I wouldn't have to deal with future calamities. 'Oh you already helped save the world? You're excused from dealing with demons and a hole in the sky, go spend the rest of your life eating cheese and getting fat.'

[Unless they can figure out a way to stop it all from happening in the first place. Which is still his favourite option. And the one least likely to end in drooling. Doing so will require grilling Carver and the Inquisitor for information though and he's pretty sure Carver has had enough of sharing bad news for one day.]

Right! [He claps his hands together and smiles brightly at everyone.] Is this the part where we all go around and share some deep, personal secret to build trust? I'm not going first if we are.

[ The logical part of Carver's mind supplies that anyone would react this way to hearing news like that. He's not the best at softening blows and his blunt way of speaking probably didn't help matters in the least. But the other part, the part that contains his anger at the world in general nearly explodes that they're all treating this so flippantly. This is his life he's just shared and they're acting like it's not a real thing that happened. Or even that it could happen. It did happen for him, so that makes it real.

But, who is he? No one. Not to any of them. So, in reality, what does it matter?

Once again he's reminded of how he's utterly alone and he wants nothing more than to leave and not even discuss this anymore. Or be around anyone for a while. Maybe after all this time Fenris was right, there is something to brooding in solitude. He'll not storm out like he's a bratty child, at least not yet. Oren comes over and Carver lets him lick his hand before he starts petting him again. Bethy, sensing a disturbance in the dog force, tries to get a better look and nearly tumbles out. Carver just gently pushes her back into the hood with a pet of her own. ]

I'm a bit done sharing for today, I think.

[ Oren is happy with the patting until he notices a little movement up near Carver's head; the mabari then sniffs the air, wagging his tail uncertainly. There's a dog smell somewhere up there, one that isn't his, and he's very interested in knowing where it's come from. He won't jump, because that would be Bad, but he does stare intently up toward where Bethy is nesting.

Robyn looks to each Warden in turn, acutely aware of the way things turn cold between them, a mix of unpleasant emotions and confusion at the very least. She isn't the kind to react to things with an automatic desire for a drink, particularly not after her experience toward the end of the year, but she's feeling very much as if a walk out on the grounds would do her some good. The roof offers fresh, night air, but it's becoming almost stifling with the tension among them. ]

I think we've all had enough. [ She says quietly. She knows the meeting had gone poorly, to say the least, but it's impossible to explain how she feels about it all even if she were the type to do so. Having person after person that you know, or just others from the same country, tell you again and again that you don't exist has been debilitating to the young Warden in the past. She's had months to adjust, but each time it happens is fresh pain. If she isn't of a mind to open old wounds, it wouldn't be fair to ask Carver to do the same more so than he already has. ]

That's all for now, then. [ It's clear that if they don't end this talk, things will take a truly unpleasant turn. ] I'm not sure there's much else we can do that's productive at the moment.

[ She whistles shortly to the mabari, who looks one last time toward Carver's hood before trotting to her side. ]

I've the least experience of any of you, but as I said, I'll do what I can, should you ever need my help in anything. Until then...

_{[Anders casts a thankful look Alistair's way. Alistair's onto something there. Eating and avoiding catastrophe sounds like a nice way to live.

Inwardly, he shares the same stance as Robyn--better to leave worrying about the future of their respective Thedases to the seers who make their money off of predicting happy marriages and poor harvests--but all the same, she looks like she's just as troubled by the doom-saying as he is. Her gentle dismissal comes as a bit of a relief as it means they can put the future to bed, though it leaves him feeling more cold and downhearted than before the meeting had begun.]}

Is that it, then? And right when I was getting ready to share a juicy secret.

_{[Too bad, his apologetic tone says. He sweeps them with a glance, gauging if they share a similar opinion over what he says next.]}

I, for one, think we ought to stay focused on the present calamity. It looks like we're going to have our hands full getting out of this mess we're in right now. Just my two coppers.

[Well that was a flop. Next time they have a meeting like this he will definitely have to bring snacks. Or drinks maybe. Or they could just have these meetings at the bar. Then when they're all standing around feeling miserable they can drink it away. And hope nobody is eavesdropping on secret Warden business.

Sighing Alistair scrubs a hand through his hair, watching the dogs around Carver for a moment. At the least they seem to be done with the doom and gloom part. For now. And Anders is rightly pulling their attention back to the problem they have to solve before they can think about darkspawn magisters and Callings.]

Getting home without having our memories eaten would be nice. And do a lot for the whole 'make a better future plan'. [Which he is not about to abandon without a fight.] I know we're not the only ones trying to do that. It might be worth seeing what others have come up with.

[Keeping Warden secrets is one thing but unless getting out of Wonderland with their minds intact requires the taint then it won't affect their ability to work with others on the problem.]

[ It's a dismissal if he's ever heard one—and because he's Carver, he's heard plenty over his lifetime. He frowns, not looking at anyone and feels something hot twist in his gut. He feels seconds from snapping out something vitriolic but swallows it down with the thought of just burning this all away later with a stiff drink.

Or several.

Carver thinks about just leaving because he's a bit tired of playing nice, but he doesn't. If they're all going to get out of this weird ass place, they do need to work together. So, he stays and sighs as he rubs the bridge of his nose. ]

Might be better to talk to others to see. Especially people who've been here longer. They might know something we don't.

As I said, the best of our world to speak with at the Inquisitor and Dorian Pavus. They're the only ones who have been here long than I have.

[ Carver's right, though; the meeting is over, more or less. Robyn has a lot now weighing on her mind, things to sift through and make sense of on her own, and... if she's being honest, this didn't exactly go well. ... How well could it go, though, considering the circumstances? They had no real information, and not only within their little band, but within the mansion at large. If they have any control over their returning to Thedas at all, it's likely never going to be with memories of their respective futures. ]

Be on your guard. [ Robyn adds, though it should go without saying. ] Not everyone in the mansion can be trusted, and particularly those from our world who remember Adamant... They're likely to be wary of all Wardens, and with fair reason.

[ If the stories are true, and she believes they are. ]

I'm liking the sound of that. Let's put Operation Information-Gathering into effect and find a way out of here, shall we, gentlemen? And lady. And dogs, I suppose.

_{[He nods at Alistair and Carver's suggestions, though silently he thinks dealing with other Thedosians is better left to someone else. Unless this Inquisitor shoots miracles out of his rear end and has a portal out of Wonderland ready and waiting for them, Anders has little interest in making himself known to other people from his home world. If they're all going to react the same way Fenris and Carver had, he'll pass.

Given that, he can't resist blowing out an exasperated note at the Hero of Ferelden's warning.

Ironic that the Joining had saved him not too long ago, but now being a Warden is only making his reputation worse. Being accused of being an abomination hadn't been enough, clearly--let's add summoning demons on the Warden's behalf to the list!]}

Now we need to worry about people from the future thinking we're in bed with demons? Not all Wardens are capable of doing these hypothetical blood rituals--that'd just be me, then. Just my luck.

_{[He shakes his head. What he wouldn't give to live out the rest of his days without hearing about dark magic or darkspawn again.]}

If we're not working on our escape plan tonight, then I'll take this as my cue to leave. I'm around if any of you need me, too. Whatever our circumstances might be, I'm a believer in helping fellow Wardens.

[Somehow Alistair hadn't considered people being worried about Wardens because of what Carver had said could happen to them. It makes sense and on one level he knows it would be understandable for anyone who'd seen the order turn to blood magic to feel that way. But it's just wrong for people to be afraid of the Wardens. They're supposed to be the ones they turn to for protection.

But Anders has a good point. From the sound of it only Warden mages need really worry. And they only have one of those. And at least two people already think poorly of him. Not an enviable position to be in. But the other Warden can look after himself if anyone starts making accusations of blood magic. And there's plenty of others around who seem even more likely to be the type to call up demons. So they all should be fine, though he's not about to disregard the warning. Which makes it more important that they can all count on each other.

With a nod and a hopeful smile he throws in his support of the policy of Warden solidarity.] Same. If there's ever anything I can do.

[Until then it seems like it's meeting adjourned and the only thing he has to do is decide what to do with the antsy feeling he's left with.]

[ Well. Right, then. This meeting accomplished nothing. Carver rubs the bridge of his nose and exhales slowly. He's not heard of the whole breathe and count to ten thing to aid in smothering a temper threatening to barrel out of control, but maybe it's something he should practice.

Eventually.

Some day.

Thankfully, before he can blow up over nothing and everything all at once, Bethy headbutts him in the back of the head and makes a little unhappy noise. Good of an excuse as any to leave so he can go let her run around. Carver casts a look around, lips slightly pulled into a frown and just lifts a hand as he turns to make for the door. ]

Right. Well— [ Does he offer to be around to help? Would he help? He would for Alistair, he knows, without even thinking twice. He knows how trustworthy he can be. Anders he... wouldn't. Probably. He'd have to think really, really heavily on it. Jury's still out on the Cousland woman. Carver doesn't really know her or know if he can trust her at all. So. What's he meant to say? He's not one for lying. In the end he just gives up trying to suss something out and leaves as neutrally as possible. ] See you all around, then.

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( closed ) ally or foe? maker only knows

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