open } i'll chew you up and spit you out cause that's what young love is all about

[monosaccharide]

Who: Princess Bubblegum, Rick Sanchez, and anyone who wants to watch a motherfucking ROBOT FIGHT
Where: outside in a large open area with specially assembled bleachers
When: 3/14
Rating: PG-13ish
Summary: Bubblegum and Rick have had a slight disagreement over who's the better scientist. Time for a motherfucking robot fight to decide who's the best.
The Story:

It's a beautiful day outside. The birds are singing, flowers are blooming… perfect weather for a GIANT ROBOT FIGHT.

On one side of the field is Princess Bubblegum's robot, the CANDY CRUSHER, an elegant machine painted in pinks and purples that in no way make it look less like a giant metal monster that could squish a man like an ant. On the other side of the field stands THE ROBO-FUCKER, which is Rick’s monstrosity of metal and plastic and...wood for some reason. He built a robot out of wood one time and it worked pretty well, so whatever. It’s not nearly as elegant as the Princess’s, but it’s functional and covered in circular saws and servos and shit like that, so at least it has the “robot” part down.

Rick and Bonnie put aside their differences to assemble a set of bleachers large enough to hold the known population of Wonderland, since really, what's the point of having a giant robot fight to prove who the better scientist is if no one's there to watch it? It's complete with a force field to keep everyone harm from the carnage the two robots will undoubtedly cause.

Bonnie's on top of her robot with a blowtorch, making a few last minute adjustments as she waits for the match to start. She looks over towards Rick's robot with a glare. Sure, her attitude towards him may have softened in the process of building SUPER COOL BATTLEBOTS together, but that doesn't mean she's any less determined to crush him.

Rick matches her glare, and even does the whole point at eyes point at enemy thing because might as well sell this whole thing, right?

It’s just about time to begin. The crowds have gathered. People are drinking booze and milling about. Everyone’s here to see horrifying metal death.

Bonnie slides off her robot and takes her position at the end of the field, standing on a raised podium. She puts on a helmet and straps on her control gauntlets, then takes a battle ready position. The Candy Crusher lights up and follows suit.

Rick’s control system is more boring, basically just a sort of tablet with a few buttons and a joystick. This is basically like a super fun, high-stakes game of Punch Out to him. He taps the screen a few times and the ROBO-FUCKER (all caps of course) shifts and stomps in place a few times, servos whirring and circular saws starting to spin. He peers past the robots to where Bonnie is waiting on the other side of the field.

“You’re going doooooowwwnnnnn, aspartame!”

She gasps. "I AM ALL REAL, you collagen-deficient sack of biological material with a declining cell count and a tiny thymus! It is on!"

And she sends her robot charging forward, slamming her fists together into a laser gun that shoots bright pink blasts at the Robo-Fucker (she will not use all caps).

Rick answers with a war cry and the ROBO-FUCKER sends a blast of green energy in the direction of the Candy Crusher, while at the same time it charges forward. This is it! The robot fight of the millennium! Metal collides with metal! Saws meet blades! Lasers explode! Metal rends and shreds, plastic shatters, wood cracks. At one point Rick releases a bunch of snakes from a secret snake holster. They don’t do much but slither off toward the woods.

The battle rages on, and it’s basically the most awesome thing you have ever seen, I mean, come on, it’s two robots fighting, how badass is this? But after several long, incredibly cool minutes, it’s clear who the victor is. The Candy Crusher crushes the ROBO-FUCKER and it goes to pieces in the field.

Rick howls in anger to keep up appearances. Sure, this is a blow to his ego, but holy shit that was a lot of fun.

Bonnie pulls off her helmet and drops it on the stage next to her, holding up her fists. "I AM THE GREATEST SCIENTIST OF ALL TIME!" She presses one last button, and the Candy Crusher's fists shoot up into the sky, exploding in a brilliant display of fireworks. Her ego, it appears, is doing even better than usual. But yes, it was definitely fun.

Rick crosses the field once he’s sure most people aren’t looking anymore and, with a very begrudging look on his face, offers his hand for Bubblegum to shake.

“A-Alright, that was actually fun, we should totally do this again sometime, and anyway, you’re smart or whatever I guess.”

She shakes it, beaming. "Yes, I suppose you aren't as far beneath my level as I thought."

[ooc: feel free to mingle and tag out watching the robot fight or anything before or after, as well as to bother either of our robot engineers! we'll have starters for different sections.]

Comments

MEET ME IN THE PIT

[wriggedywrecked]

AKA the bleachers AKA if you're really daring you can just stand really really close to the fucking giant robots with lasers and circular saws. Place your bets! Talk with people! Root for your favorite robot! Who the fuck is that old guy? Why is that lady made of bubblegum? What the fuck even is this shit? HOLY FUCK that one robot just ripped off the other robot's arm THAT WAS SO COOL!

Alex Kralie | ota

[rosswood]

Honestly, no one has to say anything beyond robot fight. Add pink bubblegum lady to the mix and Alex is on it like white on rice. His single encounter with, what was it, The Rickiest Rick, yeah right, didn't exactly cast either of them in the best light, but Alex really can't find it in him to give a shit. Not when there's robot fights.

He's laid low for long enough. That creepy kid's not on his ass anymore, and even if they were, he doubts they'd make a move in a crowd like this.

If he's honest with himself, Rick's robot is more Alex's style. But just to be an ass, his money's on the pink lady. Or whatever counts for money here.

He can be found hanging near the back, less enthusiastic a participant but no less curious about the outcome of the fight. Maybe trying to get a good shot of the battle or two with his camera or his phone. Maybe he can hawk shit like this to exiting passers-by. Who knows?

[fulllifeconsequences]

Hey, Kralie, don't jinx it. Don't you know the creepy kid comes when people call it?

Sometimes, you're just here to watch a whole lot of violence. But sometimes, from across a crowded place, you lock eyes with good ol' Alex Something-Or-Other. And sometimes... you just can't resist the opportunity to make someone's sins crawl.

So Chara. Chara continues to bore that piercing red stare into Alex. Chara reaches slowly and deliberately into their back pocket, slips something up the sleeve of their sweater. They raise their hand and wave, cheerfully, innocently. But peeking out of the edge of their sleeve, pressed into their palm by a few tensed fingers, is an unopened switchblade. One that might look familiar, even from a distance.

And Chara, wearing their sweet, rosy smile, begins to stroll their way through the crowd. Just to see what Alex will do.

[rosswood]

Oh goddamnit. Knew this whole shebang was too good to be true. He pretends to ignore them, at first - Max said this whole thing should be behind them by now, so that means he doesn't have any reason to pick a fight with a red-eyed...thing walking around in the skin of a kid. Doesn't mean he has to like it, though.

The glint of a very familiar knife in their hand catches his attention soon enough, despite his best intentions. Took it off his corpse, did they? Figures. At least he wasn't attached to thing.

A stupid part of him hopes that they'll just leave it at that, but nooooo they've got to come at him with that creepy-as-all-fuck smirk, grinning like a cat that's just cornered a particularly juicy mouse for the taking. Alex swings around, training the camera directly on them as they approach. Who cares if the picture's fuzzy? If all else fails, he can pop this up on the network in the hopes that it'll inspire someone else to take the kid out.

[fulllifeconsequences]

A camera pointed at them, and no lens cap to block them out.

They know what really happens, because they've been making video responses all over the network. But still, the fun thought flickers through their mind. What if this wrathful spirit doesn't show up on film? What if nothing but a strange blur shows up, a peculiar distortion of reality, a staticky, obscured face like a Lost Soul's? What if the true Chara shows up, with hollow eyes and nothingness leaking out of them, thick dark fluid erasing their cheeks, their lips, their ghastly smile?

Okay, Chara, are you ready? Do your creepy face!

"Greetings, mystery text," they announce. Just to be a little unnerving. He only revealed himself to be that in an overwritten timeline, after all. "I just thought I would ask if you got my apology card. I did not know where to send it, you see, and you never wrote back."

They stand, hands behind their back. Rocking on their heels innocently. Fingers running over the reassuring lump in their sleeve, hidden away from sight.

Beatrice | Over the Garden Wall

[ateherdirt]

[Beatrice doesn't really care who wins, but she is definitely rooting for the maximum amount of carnage. She's sitting in the bleachers, cheering whenever either side lands a particularly vicious looking hit.

It seems like she's having fun.]

[singloversing]

[Wirt has been forcibly dragged there with her, and...well, honestly he's not hating it as much as he thought he would. It's fascinating to watch, since giant robot fighting isn't exactly a thing where he's from. He still flinches every time the robots get a little too close to the bleachers though, and curls his hands around them so tight it turns his knuckles white.]

Uhhh... [His voice squeaks a little, and it's almost embarrassing enough for him to stop and not say what he was going to say, but he eventually just tries again.] ...I-Is it really safe for them to be fighting this close to everyone?

[ateherdirt]

Who cares? No one dies here anyway. [She whoops excitedly as one of the robots gets a hit on the other robot. Nothing's hit anyone yet, but why reassure Wirt when the feeling of danger is part of the fun?]

[singloversing]

[That doesn't help at all, and Wirt pouts. It's admittedly kind of a sensitive subject for him these days.]

I care! Besides, we only get so many of those weird freebie deaths anyway!

[...Well, maybe it helped a little, in the sense that he's more annoyed than nervous now.]

undyne | ota

[ngah]

[This is just like Undyne's Japanese animes.

Okay, so it doesn't hit all the qualifications to count as a mecha thing, but it's two giant robots punching each other, details kind of fall to the wayside from there.

Undyne can be heard before she's seen, even among the noise of the rest of the crowd. She's standing as close to the edge of the forcefield as she can, getting really into it, hopping around and pumping her fists, even though she hasn't decided which robot she's really rooting for. Every time one gets a good hit in she's yelling encouragement at the top of her lungs. This is way better than snail races.]

[determinedest]

[With all the noise she's making, Undyne's awfully hard to miss. Frisk eventually manages to get to her side, watching her cheer the battle on with a wide grin. They're paying more attention to Undyne than the battle itself at this point.]

Told you anime was real!

[ngah]

[Her grin doesn't falter, she's too excited, but she glances at Frisk before turning back to the carnage.]

No you didn't! You broke my heart into a million pieces!

[She's glad they did, but it's weird they'd say this now after all that.]

[determinedest]

[Wait - did Undyne come from a timeline where Frisk told them it wasn't real? They must've tried that, a few times...

oops.]

Well, I guess I was wrong, then!

[They say it cheerfully, trying to roll with that punch regardless.]

fuck it i gotta

[sciencelizard]

[Alphys can't help but sit with Undyne and watch her get very, very enthusiastic about Things Going Down. She also may have gotten alcohol and is getting slightly loaded. Not super loaded. Just slightly loaded. Also popcorn.]

T-This is amazing! T-they, uh, r-really worked hard on t-these.

[She lets out a little shriek as one of the robots collides with the other and a piece goes flying off. It's like the splash zone, but for shrapnel.]

yesss

[ngah]

[She actually flinches when the piece lands nearby, but cheers once it's clear the thing didn't actually hurt anyone. The forcefields were a good plan.]

YEAH!!! HEY, speaking scientifically, which one do you think looks more like it could win!? [Both of them look supremely cool for completely different reasons.]

this is a date right

[sciencelizard]

[The forcefields were a REALLY good plan, considering Alphys is certain there would've been heavy collateral damage otherwise. She chugs a bit more of her drink anyway, though, because this is a Party and she is going to Party alright.]

W-Well, I think t-they both have uh, s-some cool stuff! But I've, uh, t-talked to Bubblegum-- the pink one, and I r-really like her construction! I think, uh, h-hers is more stable. Also, t-the coloring is nice. [She kind of misses Mettaton, not going to lie.]

rocket | ota

[beatupgrass]

[Oh Rocket is LOVING THIS. He's so into it, he's pretty much like an overzealous dad at his kid's football game, whooping and hollering and throwing trash talk.]

KICK HER PINK ASS, RICK!!! WHOOO! GET HER!

[cuteshit]

[Initially, Kanji shows up for the kick-ass giant robot fight-- but he stays for the freaking talking racoon because holy crap, that thing is adorable.]

H-hey--

[He's taken turns cheering for both sides so far, but Rocket has his full attention for the moment.]

Are you really a--?

[beatupgrass]

[Rocket's ears flick down onto his skull and he eyes the kid warily.]

If you say "raccoon," I swear to flark...

[cuteshit]

[CRAP it's angry?]

W-well what am I supposed to say?!

[ARE YOU NOT A RACCOON?]

[wriggedywrecked]

[Support from his furry friend! HELL YES! Rick punches his tablet with renewed vigor. The ROBO-FUCKER punches the Candy Crusher square in its midsection, making the Candy Crusher rock back a step.]

F-Fuck yeah, her pink ass is going D-D-D-DOWWWWWWN!

[beatupgrass]

Oooh! [Rocket flinches comically, and then bursts out laughing.] SHE'S GONNA FEEL THAT ONE TOMORROW.

[ateherdirt]

[Beatrice honestly doesn't care who wins she's just here for the carnage. But when she hears Rocket cheering for Rick, she suddenly finds herself picking a side! Out of spite. She positions herself right behind Rocket than screams as loudly as she can.]

GO PINK LADY! BREAK THE OLD MAN!

[What are their names again? She doesn't care.]

[beatupgrass]

[oh my god, beatrice you are the worst.]

I didn't realize you were so sweet on princesses, Bea. [such an asshole.]

Re: MEET ME IN THE PIT

[naughty_nurse]

[Mikan could care less about robots and this sort of activity. But upon learning people could be hurt here? She quickly arrived, first aid kit in her hands. She nervously sits and watches this whole thing, keeping an eye out for anyone injured, but otherwise keeps to herself.]