One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode. [CLOSED]

[morework]

Who: Cullen (morework) & Leliana (cutenug)
Where: 1st Floor Hallway
When: 04/01
Rating: P...G?!
Summary: Two out of three advisors reporting for duty. Also, all of Thedas very badly needs a hug. A very small percentage of it actually gets it.
The Story:

If Cullen looks like a man who hasn't slept in days and just got shot with an arrow to boot, then-- Well. Some things truly are what they appear to be, even in Wonderland. What is important is that he still stands (thanks to a certain mage, he might be caught admitting only through teeth clenched so hard they might crack and require healing magic once again), and more, still very briskly walks down the corridor towards the first floor's training center.

The morning has left some frustration in its wake, the event has turned those embers into a burning flame. With so little accomplished and so little to remedy it, the least he can do is train, train more, and afterwards train again. His steps, heavy and restless and swift, only come to a halt when another person comes into view. When Cullen realises that he's not about to walk past a stranger.

"...Le_liana?" His voice cracks, even just at the thought. One more step is all he means to take, just to confirm who it is he sees, only he starts walking before he even knows it. Towards her, with a trembling sense of hope that nearly aches in its intensity.

Comments

[cutenug]

This place sets her on edge. It's only been a handful of days since she arrived here and the frustrated feeling of not being where she needs to be has yet to fade. Her first observation of this place is seeming more and more apt--it's a cage. A pretty, spacious cage filled with admittedly incredible magic. And apparently terrible side-effects that she hasn't quite figured out yet. All she knows is that she's got a case of terrible mood swings and an itch to explore.

She's not sneaking about, so it's not a surprise that someone stumbles upon her. What is a surprise is that it's Cullen of all people. No one had told her that he was here.

"Cullen?" Leliana takes one look at him, then moves to meet him in the middle, worry suffusing every part of her. "You look awful. Are you feeling alright?"

That... is probably a stupid question. And she fully expects a lie in reply considering that he always looks a little tired and sometimes things (like the lyrium withdrawal he hasn't told her about) hit him hard. But she asks anyways. It's the polite thing to do, and not just because it gives him a bit of warning that she may strong arm him into resting if he needs it.

[morework]

"I'm-" fine, at the tip of his tongue like muscle memory, but too much else wells up to drown it. The despair that he's not, of course not, how could he be? How could he have been before, let alone here? Here, the anger flows, that he cannot tell her he's fine and mean it, that he has no progress to report on anything. No, worse. Shame mingles with it instead, half the misery his own doing, too careless to see an archer in the dark. And more, ever more, strings tucked by her concern--

He swallows, shakes his head vehemently. It's all he can do to contain the words, if not the motions that follow. If not his feet as they all but break into a run to close the distance between them. She is here. What chance do all other thoughts stand, when Leliana is truly here?

"Maker's breath, it's--" Cullen's steps reach her, but a stop is not enough. He wraps his arms around her, and vigorously pulls her into a hug. "It's good to see you."

[cutenug]

Worry slams into her like a bronto and only gets worse when Cullen hugged her. She freezes at the touch. Just for a moment. Then she wraps her arms around him in turn as she tries to puzzle out just what is going on here. This isn't like the Commander. Not at all. But, then again, neither is the all-consuming concern she feels for him in the moment and the incredibly strong desire to comfort him, make sure he's alright.

"It's good to see you too, Cullen," she says quietly, raking a hand through his curls. "Though I wish circumstances could be better."

(Read as: this place blows and she already doesn't like it. At all.)

Leliana wiggles her way out of his embrace--just far enough so she can see his face and frown at him. "Are you feeling alright?" She puts the back of her hand against his forehead, checking for a temperature. "How is your head?"

[morework]

It should be a mirthless smile at best, but he catches himself laughing instead. "Everyone keeps asking me that. My head is as good as it will get."

Cullen feels the fabric of her clothes bunched in his fingers, and grimaces sadly when he knows that he must let go. That this- this is not how he would act, normally, and that there is an explanation she must have.

"I don't know how much you've already been told," he begins, slowly, so he can linger by her a sentence longer. But now it must be enough, and he pries himself away from her with a pained expression. "The powers in this place are disturbing, they have... influence beyond anything I've ever seen."

His own encounter with them makes him shiver, meticulously buried fear digging to free itself into terror. Cullen swallows and hastily speaks on, before the sentiment can take hold.

"Not all of it manifests constantly, there is something people here have dubbed 'events', they twist," he says with a hiss, and rage cuts into his voice through clenched teeth. "Twist our surroundings and- violate our minds, the things they can do--"

Cullen forces his eyes shut. To say only the last words levelly takes all he has.

"Their tricks have little rhyme or reason, nor purpose we could uncover. But they bring change, they must be responsible for-," He opens his eyes. Breathes out. "-this."

[cutenug]

She is reminded abruptly of a young man, trapped behind an incredibly strong magical barrier, tortured, exhausted, and full of rage because of what had been done to him. It sparks a bright flare of anger in her chest and it mingles with the concern that is still nearly overwhelming. Damn this place. Damn it to the Void for doing this to him.

"Then," she says slowly, reaching out to place a gentle hand on his arm. "We must deal with it as best we can, no? Try to focus on the better things and not lose ourselves in the worse ones."

Which she knows from experience can be easier said than done. Still, it's worth a shot. Especially if it does end up working.

"Let's find some place more conducive to conversation and talk. There is much to catch up on, and I have questions for you." Not all of which have to do with Wonderland, since that is obviously going to be a touchy subject. "When you were a child in Honnleath, was there a golem there? Or did it come later?"

[morework]

Grateful acknowledgement of the gesture turns into a sigh of relief, his hand squeezing hers in return, before he steels himself, determined to prove that this, too, can be endured.

"As best we can," Cullen repeats, and looks for a direction to walk. "Perhaps outside. I'll tell you all I know."

Which is little in this world, and has been of correspondingly insufficient use. All the more surprising when her first question broaches a different subject entirely.

"A- golem? As a matter of fact, yes. Right in the middle of the square, a statue of one. When it was empty my brother and I would sometimes take turns to see who could climb it faster." He laughs. "It drove my sister up the wall. She said if we didn't behave it would spring to life and crush us, but we kept taking our chances."

The memory brings a fondly embarrassed smile, and a frown, when it dawns on him that he would normally only think back on such things quietly. The idea itself does not sit right with him, but this is no dark secret dragged to light by force. In happier times it might be the sort of story he would share willingly. Ah, but--

"Why do you ask?"

[cutenug]

With a small smile, Leliana slips her hand into the crook of Cullen's arm and starts steering them in the direction that will lead them outside. It's nice to see him like this--laughing. Remembering the past with fondness. Enough bad things have happened in his lifetime that she expects it's a relatively rare occurrence.

"When I was traveling with the Hero during the Blight, we stopped briefly in Honnleath." Arrived too late to save most of the villagers and saw little outside darkspawn, burning fields and buildings, and demons. But that does not bear mentioning.

"Robyn had been sold a golem control rod and learned the pass phrase for it from Matthias," she says.

And there is where she pauses for a moment, giving him a chance to wrap his head around what she's implying with that. A smile hides at the corners of her lips as she watches Cullen from the corner of her eye.

[morework]

Cullen begins to recognise the impulses now. A wave of burning curiosity about a boy's name (man's name now, he amends) so far in his past, curiosity about the state of his home, about any and every fate Leliana could relay. His siblings are well. His parents are dead. He knows what matters most. He can leave the rest. He can leave the rest. He repeats it once more, and is finally ready to believe it.

"You're- you're joking!"

...which is not enough to stop him from staring at Leliana with his mouth agape, when the tales of living stone flood his mind again, and he remembers times and times more when he'd laughed at the story.

"It was-- real, the stories- you brought it to life? Maker's breath, the stories were true?"

[cutenug]

A grin spreads across Leliana's face, wide and delighted at the sight of Cullen's shock. It's not like him to be this open--it's not like her, either--but there's something wonderful about it, even if she does hate that it's not by his choice.

"It's name is Shale, and it is a dear friend." Leliana's smile turns a little wistful as she talks. "Shale traveled with us during the Blight, and we kept in contact after it ended."

There are many things Leliana wouldn't have been able to do without Shale's help. Like sneaking Wynne and Evangeline into the White Spire, and everything else that happened the night it fell. There have been moments during her time in the Inquisition that Leliana has wished Shale was around. And Wynne.

"If I remember what we learned right, its name was originally Shayle Cadash, and it became a golem hundreds of years ago. Wilhelm used it during the rebellion and brought it to Honnleath after Maric took back his throne from Meghren."

[morework]

He listens with horrified fascination. Knowing it all makes the tales of his childhood sound quite different indeed. Some, surprisingly, suddenly start to make sense. Their parents always did seem determined to avoid further questions about the statue. That is something to put in his next letter for sure.

"Cadash?" And that has him gaping, until he catches his breath for an awkward laugh. "Maker, don't tell me we have to expect it in Skyhold for a family reunion."

Because that would be-- Even with the event's influence to carve their emotions so clearly Cullen can't even begin to describe what that would be, for himself or any of them, let alone the Inquisitor herself.

[cutenug]

For a moment, Leliana is very confused and it shows. Cadash? Who do they know with the family name Cadash? And then she remembers--different worlds. Different influential people.

"You know the Inquisitor as a dwarf, then?" How odd. And kind of delightful, honestly. "I know her as an elf. Ellana Lavellan."

Nearly a week here and these differences are not any less jarring whenever she stumbles upon them. She wonders if she'll get used to it someday. Or maybe one day she'll be able to chart all the differences. Right now, they're a bit much to keep straight.

[morework]

Is headache an emotion? Because Cullen feels it more deeply and viscerally than ever. He groans out loud, and presses a hand to the bridge of his nose. Twisted muscles can be loosened with the right sort of pressure. A twisted wealth of possible realities, alas, cannot.

"An elf? Another Chosen of Andraste? Maker's blood, she's indecisive."

[cutenug]

That startles a laugh out of her. Oh, Cullen. This is why she likes you so much--your bluntness and exasperation with the world.

"She's not," she says after a moment. Then wonders when exactly Cullen is from if he hasn't yet discovered that. "It wasn't Andraste in the Rift behind her it was--"

The sudden sweeping wave of grief takes her by surprise. It's overwhelming in a way that it hasn't been since right after the Breach tore a hole in the sky. She finds herself having to bite her lip and look away for a moment so she can school herself.

"It was Justinia."