you're not broken, just a little bit chipped 'round the edge [closed]

[determinedest]

Who: Frisk and Sans
Where: The Rabbit Hole
When: 4/09, after this conversation
Rating: PG but tbd since this might get heavy
Summary: The last event was a MESS, everyone's emotions are a MESS, and now Frisk is trying to fix it.
The Story:

True to their word, Frisk shows up at the diner, the Worn Dagger in their pocket. It feels uncomfortably like expecting a quiet conversation to abruptly break out into a brawl when every encounter with Sans has been nothing but utterly placid, for the most part, but they also don't want to break their promise to Chara. Hence, right now their pocket is the safest place for the Dagger to be.

It's not technically the weapon that killed Undyne, but it feels close. It might as well be. They'd apologized to her as best as they could too, even if what happened was only peripherally their fault.

It's time to start turning over a new leaf. Stop wallowing in guilt, and start doing something about it. That's what reaching out to Sans was all about. That, and they're not one hundred percent on that, but they feel like a lot of what they said those past few days could have really hurt him. He might be good at hiding it, but - but they were callous and cruel, right to his face. And that's something they're going to have to address, like it or not.

The place is empty when they get there, so they slip into the nearest table and wait.

Comments

[punful]

He considers the question in silence for a minute, looking away from Frisk. He doesn't exactly like making them feel so guilty and nervous, but...

"kinda. i guess. this place is more unpredictable."

Any kind of event. Anything from a sudden influx of cats to everyone turning into an insane killer. In the Underground there was a set number of variables, based mostly on who Frisk interacted with and how.

He shrugs. "it's different when you're not sure what to be preparing for."

When it came to the end, it was always going to be one thing or the other--he would either fight the anomaly or not.

[determinedest]

Frisk digests that quietly. That makes sense. The Underground had a lot of deviation to it, but ultimately it was a fairly linear path. The main variables that would change were who lived and who died, and the minute shifts in what Frisk would choose to say to someone else. Here, the possibilities are endless. The idea is both exhilarating and terrifying.

"Why you?" The question leaps out before Frisk can assess whether or not it's a good idea, and their face reddens consequently. "I mean - why were you always the one to explain EXP and LOVE to me? Was that...your job?"

He had that kind of awareness, they learned that by coming back again and again and whispering his..."codewords". But Asgore remembered that he killed them too, hadn't he? They wish there was a clearer picture of how this worked. But they're the one setting all the SAVEs, and they don't even understand it, so they can hardly expect someone else to.

[punful]

It's probably a good thing that they're able to speak frankly with each other. Everything in the Underground was always layered with so much secrecy. He could never directly ask Frisk what they were doing, what they were planning, not at the risk of giving away what he knew and making himself a target before it was necessary. And likewise, Frisk couldn't ask questions like these, couldn't let on what they knew and what they were going through. It had to be difficult, learning that you could rewind time, could just go back and fix mistakes or escape consequences, skip ahead to see how things ended.

Would anyone else in the Underground really believe them? Did Frisk ever try to tell other monsters what was happening? In Sans's experience, telling people that you're sort of a time traveler doesn't really go over well.

"i sorta made it my job." No one asked him to. He'd had a few conversations with Asgore and with Alphys--he wasn't the only monster aware that something odd was happening. Sometimes he's pretty sure that Asgore in particular knew a lot more than he ever let on, but neither of them, none of them, ever explicitly remembered previous timelines.

"i guess i figured someone had to." He pauses, debating how much to say. "not every monster really understands how that all works. the average monster isn't gonna gain EXP or LOVE unless there's some kinda accident. or unless they go bad. most of us can raise our HP or ATK or such in other ways. heh. most of us."

Not Sans, of course.

"but all that stuff...it isn't widely known. you don't really need to know about it unless you're studying that sorta thing."

It's like how the average human doesn't know all the details of how their own bodies work.

Sans fidgets with his cocoa mug, turning it slowly.

"might make sense to tell you about all of it sooner. but...i dunno. always figured you had to make your own decisions. even in the best timelines, seems like you just make your own path. by the time i tell you what LOVE is you've either figured it out on your own or it's not relevant anymore. and telling you about it sooner...heh. always just seemed like tempting fate."

That would certainly be a quick way to switch a good timeline into a bad one. Tell the anomaly there's an easier way, that they can gain incredible power just by making a few moral compromises...it's not worth the risk.

It would be a lot simpler if Sans could get to the anomaly before anyone else did. By the time he meets Frisk, they've traversed the whole Ruins, have already made decisions as to where the timeline is heading. But even if he could be there the moment Frisk fell, he doesn't think it would matter. The other thing about the anomaly is that, for better or worse, no one can really tell them what to do. There's no point to Determination if someone is telling you exactly how to proceed, holding your hand the whole time.

[determinedest]

LOVE is shared by little white friendliness pellets, says the flower that meets them at the beginning every time, a round and friendly face that had no reason to lie to them. And it wasn't a lie. In a lot of ways, that is exactly how LOVE was shared. Do monsters know the power of a *Check?

It took them a while to work out how much Sans actually did behind the scenes. The laziness, the laid-back air, the seeming inability to do any work whatsoever - all that would inevitably come crashing down by the time they rounded the final corner and entered the golden hall lined with pillars. Always seemed to know more than he should. Always seemed to show up when he was needed. Looking out for them on the best runs. Watching from afar on the worst.

"And nothing else changes," says Frisk, sitting back in their chair with a slump. That's what it is, to truly not be surprised by anything different anymore. The snow falls in exactly the same way. The puzzles are solved by script.

"Chara...seemed to know about LOVE before I did." Their eyebrows nestle down in another frown. "I don't know how. I guess...no one would."

The only person that would is gone now.

[punful]

Checks are perhaps a little different for monsters, though Sans probably wouldn't be able to explain just how. Not when there's someone providing flavorful commentary every time Frisk met a new monster.

He shrugs again.

"it is what it is."

And they've already discussed all that at length, after all.

"maybe they learned it from the king and queen. or maybe they just figured it out after they died."

[determinedest]

"Yeah." Frisk pushes their empty mug across the table. The first time they traversed the Underground, they couldn't have known the meaning of LOVE or EXP. But like every other rendition on that same theme, they don't get a free pass after their first encounter. They're owning up to it, piece by piece.

"Thanks," they say quietly, dropping their stare. "For, um...telling me about all this, I guess. I should've talked to you sooner. Before..."

Before Wonderland forced them to talk, and say all the worst things in the process.

[punful]

"no problem. honestly..." He pauses and shakes his head, looking even more tired. "i should have just talked to you. before the event. before even coming here. back in the underground. heh. i'm so used to keeping secrets, you know? playing it safe."

And maybe in the Underground there's always going to be a reason to continue keeping those secrets. But here, all those reasons and excuses are starting to look...rather hollow.

[determinedest]

"I mean...I can't blame you for that." They probably would have done the same. They already have done the same, and have only just now gotten better at stepping beyond that desire to keep everything locked away inside them. "I did the same."

Even the excuse of not being a huge talker in general only holds so much water after you've scaled back the clock so many times. "I guess neither of are all that good at this."

They laugh a little, faintly, because when have they ever talked to each other directly? Only when Wonderland forced them to. Only when there was no other choice. Only when one of them wasn't even them, standing at one end of a long hallway with a knife in hand, waiting for the end.

[punful]

"heh."

He has to chuckle a little. It's true. Sad and true.

"guess that's one thing we have in common, huh?"

He winks at Frisk.

[determinedest]

"I guess so." Along with the ability to remember things they shouldn't. But that's a lighter note to end this conversation on. "Thanks. For, um...for believing me, I guess. I'd get it if you didn't."

Someone who so clearly toys with the lives of everyone Underground has got to be questionably trustworthy at best, after all.

[punful]

He nods and gives Frisk a reassuring smile.

"no problem, frisk."

[determinedest]

"I'll see you." Their mug is empty, and they think they've said everything they needed to say. Fixing everything that goes on between them isn't as easy as one honest conversation, but it's an earnest start.

Maybe, hopefully, with any luck - that'll be enough.