entrancelogs | but i don't mind, don't close your eyes

Entry tags:

but i don't mind, don't close your eyes

Who: Peter Parker & Bonnie Bennett
Where: Youth Center
When: 5-Apr
Rating: PG
Summary: Post-emotions event chatting
The Story:
[ when bonnie arrives, the youth center seems empty. she hangs her shoulder bag on one of the pegs to the side of the door, and drapes a loose coat over that. the weather outside's been warming up, but somehow there's still wind in their little bubble. especially out by the sand, and along the forest -- where she'd just come in from.

the scent of atmosphere still clings to her regardless, mixed with damp earth and new foliage. it may not be real, none of it, but it makes her feel better to just go and talk. whatever that says about her, it's one of the things that keeps her sane.

she turns, moving further into the center as she pulls her arms into a few loose stretches. ]

Peter? You around?

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[peter is already at the youth center since super speed makes travelling... quick. he pokes his head from behind a doorway when he hears bonnie's voice, and he smiles lopsidedly at her, sending her a wave. it kind of feels like he was lost in some weird world for the last week with all those emotions and-

yeah. it's really good to be out of it again.]

Hey, yeah. Here. I... am. I'm here. I was just exploring a little.

Find anything good?

[ bonnie moves inward, closing the distance between them as her eyes drift from one alcove to another. the additions have come in slow, but even she hasn't been around to make any contributions just yet. ]

[peter's gaze drifts to her as she moves inward and closes that distance between them. a smile tugs across his face helplessly even as he looks forward again]

It's kind of seriously cool. Has a very youth-y feel to it, which I guess is why it's the- the youth center.

You have a real way with words, Egg Boy. Has anyone ever told you that?

[ bonnie can't help rolling her eyes, but she's laughing-- something she hasn't really done in a few days. once she's close enough, she snatches up one of peter's hands and drifts further inward to continue looking around. she's glad she didn't wuss out-- days of feeling nothing had left bonnie with plenty of questions and uncertainty. seeing peter face to face is definitely a step in the right direction and bonnie finds that she wants to make the best of the situation, now. ]

[peter smirks at her when she rolls her eyes, and he tilts his head to the side and then nods in amusement.]

Oh, yeah. I am frequently told how I should be a poet, because of just how talented I am at words, using them, creating such beautiful visuals out of words. All that. You caught me. [the smirk on his face widens into a smile when she snatches up on of his hands, and he follows her inward. he doesn't know she almost wuss-ed out, but he's glad she didn't either. this is far more natural, better than anything he's been through in the last few days. he pokes his head into rooms as they pass with a tiny smile. it's the kind of cool, youthful place that peter would not normally fit into because he is the opposite of cool.]

Egg boy though?

[ at his question, bonnie claps her free hand over her mouth, and mumbles through it: ]

Nooo! I can't believe that came out...

[ she starts to laugh at the sheer absurdity of her slip up in conjunction with a now-defunct attempt at throwing shade on him. way to go bonnie bennett. this is one for the record books, surely. ]

[peter tilts his head to the side, trying his best to look offended, but it's really beautiful to hear her laugh so he has a difficult time even pretending. he lifts his hands up on either side of him as he walks, all lanky legs beside her.]

...woah, woah, woah, hold up a minute here. Can't believe that came out like you've called me that before in your head?

Bonnie.

Maybe? [ embarrassed and guilty, but entirely amused -- these are all easy to spy on bonnie's face, as she smiles and flushes and scrunches her eyes shut ]

I'm sorry! It's not an insult, I swear. It's like-- an inside joke.

[ with ... herself? ]

An inside joke with yourself, within your own mind?

[peter asks as he tilts his head to the side, trying to look all disapproving at her, but he can tell she's smiling, flushing really. the smile on his face widens a bit before he shakes his head as he walks beside her, lifting an eyebrow]

Am I that entertaining?

[yes, yes, peter, you are.]

[ she's just going to have to own this isn't she? bonnie gives a firm nod, letting her hand drop away to gesture into the air toward him. ]

Well, your arrival in Wonderland was pretty memorable, you've got to admit. And it kind of doesn't feel right calling you your other nickname...

[ what choice was she left with? ]

[peter stares at her after a moment, watching how she lets her hand drop down, and then he laughs quietly, openly. his head ducks slightly]

In that case, I guess it's set. Forever. I'm Egg Boy, no substitutes.

[but he kind of likes it honestly. his entrance was memorable, but it's also the day he got to meet her so y'know. it wasn't completely terrible and egg filled]

I'm glad you've come to your senses.

[ insert cocky smile here! since, you know. there seems to be full acceptance across the board, then. bonnie is weird and peter's not just ok with it but seems to be embracing it. why was she worried, again?

bonnie sighs off some of the stress from the past few days. ]

I really needed this.

[peter laughs a little even if he's kind of distracted by that cocky smile of hers. peter slides his hands into his pockets as he walks beside her. he's plenty weird all on his own so he embraces weird all the time.

he bites down on his lip at what she says before he releases the breath trapped in his chest, nodding with a tiny smile.]

Yeah, same. It's been.. intense. That's probably putting it lightly.

Yeah, and you're lightly avoiding not talking, too.

[ bonnie uses cocky smile again. but it levels off as she watches him, and her voice turns more somber: ]

C'mon, spill. What happened?

Wha-a-a-a-at? Neither of us do that ever. We are very direct about our own feelings and what we are going through. Totally.

[cocky smile is very effect. peter ducks his head, releasing a breath at the question with a light shrug of his shoulders]

It was just... hard. One of the last things my grandfather instilled in me was this ridiculously intense sense of- of responsibility. [and guilt] There were a lot of people in trouble, killing, dying, and I couldn't stop myself from going out there because I felt like... like it was my responsibility to fix it. To save them.

[ such sarcasm very dry -- it works to get a agreeing laugh from bonnie, though! she sobers up as he starts to describe what happened. it's not an unfamiliar feeling which is why she starts nodding along. ]

I get that. What happened when you tried?

[Peter smiles at the laugh as it escapes her even as he slides his hands into his pockets. His expression becomes grim, and he shakes his head]

Nothing. I couldn't do anything for anyone. Their emotions were all so strong, and-- and the damage was done, y'know?

I just- I hated it

Edited 2016-06-03 02:34 (UTC)

But you tried, at least.

[ when she frowns, it's not in anger but concern. she's not sure how to say it, how to not sound stupid expressing her feelings about people who put everything into doing good. ]

Sometimes trying even though you know you'll fail-- gambling against the odds? That means more than only trying when you know you'll win.

[peter shifts on his feet and then glances down at them when she speaks. he stuffs his hands into his pockets abruptly.]

You think? It... just always feels like my responsibility, y'know? Maybe cause of- cause of what happened with my uncle and all, but-

[he bites down on his lip, shakes his head]

It's OK. You don't have to, but if you want to talk about it, I'm here.

[ moving to peter's side, bonnie places a hand high on his back. ]

Here, let's go sit at the soda bar.

[ then she hooks an arm through one of his and gives a soft tug to lead him to the brightly-colored bar. ]

Thanks. It's just hard to talk about. I'm not really good at talking anyway.

[it's why he always ends up rambling or stumbling on his words. he's just not all that used to it. he's been pretty content to be a loner in the back of the class, and when he has the mask on, he's full of snarky quips which come easily. as peter parker, he's just not like that]

There's a soda bar? Woah. [it brings a smile to his face, following where she tugs with ease.]

Nobody's good at talking. Especially not about the people we miss.

[ bonnie points at a stool and then decides to pretend she knows what she's doing back here with all the syrups and nozzles... ]

I feel it too, sometimes. Like I still have to make my Grams proud? She taught me what she could about magic, and I'm one of only two Bennett witches I know about. It's a lot of pressure.

Yeah. It's hard when you miss them.

[when you feel responsible for their dying in the first place. he leans against the soda bar, watching her mess with the syrups and nozzles. he doesn't know what to do with them either]

Yeah. I can't even imagine that kind of pressure. I really... can't. The last conversation I had with my Uncle was a fight so I get that. He told me I had to be more responsible, because that's what my father would have wanted me to be... [and Peter had been angry, and then his Uncle died because Peter wasn't responsible.

super clear message.]

Peter...

[ bonnie moves back to the counter for a moment, reaching forward to pull one of his hands between both of hers. she squeezes gently. ]

I don't know your uncle, but if he cared enough to try to give you guidance, he cared about your well-being too. Do you want to talk about the fight? Maybe it'll help to get it out of your head...

[Peter turns to her as she pulls his hand between both of hers, and he breathes in sharply, glancing down a bit as he bites down on his lower lip]

I don't know. I- I was wrapped up in this mystery about what the hell happened to my parents and why. they died, but they left. They left me with my aunt and uncle. They were running, and I was trying to figure out why. It's why I got bit by the radioactive spider. It's why I was late to pick up my aunt, and it's why my uncle was so mad at me.

I failed to- to be responsible when it counted, and she could have been hurt which is why he was so mad. He mentioned my father, what he believed in, how good of a man he was, and it made me so mad cause I'd felt abandoned.

[stupid really when his uncle was more a father to him than his own biological father, but]

[ she squeezes his hand, gentle but firm. ]

I won't say that I'm sorry-- I know that doesn't fix anything. It's really hard to grow up feeling abandoned, whatever the reason.

[ a feeling she knows all too well, unfortunately. maybe it's the reason she flaunts her witch fixes; the root cause of her power hungry controlling nature, and why she can't just keep her nose out of things. it's the reason she tries so hard to be needed, to be important. worthy of friendship, of family, and of love. ]

But you know... You're still important. Even if you mess up sometimes, even despite what that little boy inside you feels.

[peter nods with a soft smile as she squeezes his hand]

I can tell you get it.

[it makes it easier for him to open up to her, because she gets what it is like to be abandoned whatever the reason, wherever that leads. he breathes in, looking up at her with a soft smile. there's a moment- a clear, defined moment where he just sort of falls inwardly

but he feels it, tumbling straight down.]

So are you, Bonnie.

[his words are soft. his hand reaches out, sliding over her own, tightening his hold on her from there.]

[ it's nice to hear, even if that little voice all the way the back of bonnie's mind still protests. it's always back there, reminding her that she should be trying harder, doing more, being better. ]

Thanks.

[ the voice tells her that peter doesn't really know her, not in the context of mystic falls, vampires, and witches. it reminds her that she's not bonnie bennett here in wonderland, she's someone else. ]

My mom left when I was little. I still have my dad and his family, so it could be worse, but yeah. Moms are kind of important.

[ ha, voice. screw you. she has the power to let peter parker know who bonnie is, and she's going to use it. not for pity, and not out of spite, but because she wants this. ]

[peter shifts at his seat when she starts to speak, and he reaches over, resting his hand against her arm as he nods. his knees are pulled up against his chest. his chin rests there against the top of his knees as he looks at her.]

Moms are really important.

I'm sorry yours left. Do you wish you could like find her, ask her why?

[sometimes peter wishes that with his father and mother, but they're dead, and it's hwy he chased that mystery that led to- led to everything else]

[ bonnie's quiet for a moment, because that requires serious thought. it's easy to fire off a hardened no, isn't it? to deny that you want someone who doesn't want you? easier to become diamond. but being impenetrable means that it applies to everything, and bonnie can't do that. ]

Yes. I mean, I don't think it would make me feel better, I just--

[ sometimes she can't help but be angry. and vindictive. bonnie smirks despite herself. ]

I kinda want to force her to have to face me.

[ brat bennett, right here. ]

Yeah, I get that. I've been angry a lot about my dad randomly disappearing without a reason or a word.

Think you deserve that much, y'know? She should have to face you. Talk to you. She gave birth to you, and she left.

[there's plenty for Bonnie to be angry and bratty about. peter wouldn't even consider it bratty. he just thinks it's what she deserves to feel and embrace and express. granted, he was bratty to people who didn't deserve it.

his uncle. because he was angry at his dad. he would have much rather been angry and bratty at his father instead, but it wasn't an option.

bonnie deserves to have that option]

I think we both do.

[ her lips purse as she considers it briefly. she used to write letters -- angry, happy, pleading ones. everything in between. when she got old enough to realize that even if she did have an address to send them to it wouldn't matter, she just burned the lot. ]

Do you know what you'd say to your dad?

[peter nods, releasing a breath, folding his hands together so tight he nearly leaves marks on his hands. he forgets how strong he is now sometimes. his jaw locks a bit, and he swallows]

I'd yell at him. I'd ask him why- I know it's something. He was in some dangerous research, but-

I'd still be mad. [regardless of the reasons why] He left me behind but he took my mom. She didn't deserve to go out that way too.

[took both of them out.]

I always kind of thought that she was just being selfish, but--

[ bonnie sighs, bittersweet at the thoughts that trudge through her mind at peter's points. ]

I wonder if it just hurts more because they thought they were making the best choice.

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but i don't mind, don't close your eyes

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wow my html was a hot mess

omg i lost this why didn't you shriek at me!!!!!!!!!!

shrieks at you now!!!!!!

!!!!

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