[OPEN] All things said and plenty done;

[exceedinglybright]

Who: Lily Potter & you!
Where: Her room (for James), the library & the clinic.
When: 4/21 & 4/26
Rating: PG, talk of death.
Summary: Lily returns from her first Wonderland death and gains a little perspective, for better or for worse.
The Story:
4/21, CLOSED to James

[She doesn't know where she'd expected to be upon returning, but it hadn't been her own bed. To be fair, she hadn't had the opportunity to give it much thought at all-- the whole thing had been too fast, violent, but the fact remains that she feels decidedly displaced when she wakes, slowly propping herself up on one hand as she rubs at her forehead with the heel of the other.

James must have put her here, she decides-- it's exactly what he would have done. She and Sirius hadn't had the option when they'd lost James months beforehand; Wonderland hadn't been Wonderland at the time, and there had been nothing familiar or even remotely comforting to offer him. She swallows hard, finding her mouth is dry, and she decides to test her voice, however briefly.]

James?

[Thinking back, it doesn't seem real. Depending on a person's definition of death, maybe it wasn't, if the finality was what made it so, but the pain and fear and ultimate helplessness as she'd found herself without even her wand for her own defense was still fresh in her mind, palpable.

Whatever it was or wasn't, she supposes it was real enough.]

4/26, OPEN

[In the days that follow, she tries her hardest to go about business as usual. She's noticeably quieter, to those who know her, and her smile is a little less open as she goes about her daily routines. She has always been a frequent visitor of the library, but her visits had grown shorter and somewhat less intensive since she and James were married: in hindsight, she feels that the both of them had perhaps let themselves become just a little too contented, something the last several events have very effectively brought to life.

They weren't supposed to be comfortable here. They weren't supposed to like it, or let themselves settle too much. Wonderland had afforded them a wealth of opportunities, but it was meant to be temporary. They couldn't stay-- and this particular event had been just one more reminder of why they couldn't take the time and resources they did have here for granted.

She goes back to spending long hours in the library, researching, pulling out every dusty old book she can find concerning anything that might even be tangentially related to the sort of trans-dimensional magic Wonderland seems to be dealing with. While she knows Wonderland won't likely offer her the answers she and James are seeking, more information can only help them, especially as the library itself always seems to have something new.

When she finds she can stare at books no longer, she decides to put in a few more volunteer hours at the clinic-- just like any other week, like her own death had never been a part of it at all. Once there, she finds herself restless, and in the absence of people to help, she begins to take inventory of the stocked supplies, spending the better part of the afternoon using the closets to replenish anything that seems anything less than plentiful and making notes of it on her clipboard.]

Comments

[pottershotter]

[There's a chair by the bed. Someone's spent a lot of time there recently, but Lily has the bad luck of waking up when no one is actually sitting in it. In its own way, that's to be expected though. James has never been very good at standing still and waiting. He's been bouncing back and forth between Lily and Sirius and augh he should have just put them both in the same room, but he doesn't have the heart to move either of them, as though jostling them would somehow make them take longer to revive.

James knows that's not true, but it's a feeling he can't quite shake, and it gives him something to do. Something that isn't just sitting and waiting for Lily to revive, though he does a lot of that too. He was devastated when he finally found Lily. He's done a lot of dying, but it's been rare for him to be on the other end, waiting for someone dear to revive.

When Lily calls his name, James sits up so fast he nearly sees stars, and his head pops up at the foot of their bed. He'd been laying on the floor with Lily's cat on his chest, and she gives a very indignant meow when she tumbles off of him.]

Lily? Lily!

[He scrambles up immediately and nearly trips over the poor cat in the process. Without thinking much, he scoops up Lily's cat and deposits her on the bed and rushes right over to Lily's side.]

[exceedinglybright]

[She hadn't expected him to be far, and his sudden appearance at the end of the bed is enough to coax a small, disconnected smile out of her, eagerly reaching out to take hold of his hand as Madeline does her best to recollect herself, circling around to Lily's other side in order to headbutt against her arm.]

I-- is it over?

[It takes her a moment to string the words together, and a part of her is disappointed that she hasn't managed more, but she's so disoriented that it's the first thing that comes to mind. Are the infected gone?]

[pottershotter]

[James holds her hand tightly and laces their fingers together, like he's afraid he might lose her again if he lets go. He nods though, and tries to make the lump in his throat vanish with sheer determination.]

It's over. They're all gone, and everything's back to normal. I promise.

[Well. As normal as things can be after returning from the dead, probably. But at least James has done his best to make sure she wakes up comfortable, somewhere familiar.]

[exceedinglybright]

[She throws herself at him then, putting her arms around his neck and hugging him as tightly as she's able, burying her face against his shoulder. She shouldn't have run off, she shouldn't have made him worry-- she'd been reckless, even though it had been for good cause. She wasn't supposed to be the reckless one, but she hadn't been able to stop herself.]

James, I-- I'm so sorry, I thought I was doing the right thing--

[pottershotter]

[He lets her get it all out, and holds her close. This alone is enough to fill him with relief, to cement her revival as real.]

Lily, no. Lily...you didn't do anything wrong. It was-- it was an accident. We were all out there. It could've happened to any of us.

[It happened to most of them, but James survived for once. He's discovering he can't stand being the only survivor. Still, he strokes Lily's hair. She's the one who needs the comfort now.]

You did everything you could've done, and you came back. You've got nothing to be sorry for, I promise.

[exceedinglybright]

[Perhaps it had only been a matter of time, her meeting her end here. James had done it so many times already, and her heart sinks when she thinks of how many times he must have felt that last pull of desperation, that last moment of fear when you realize what's happening and that there's nothing you can do about it, brave Gryffindor or no.]

I ran off. I was careless.

[Because she'd panicked. She'd been scared. If it had been James out there instead of Sirius, she knows she would have been in an even worse state-- maybe she wouldn't have made it to him at all before something caught and blindsided her.

She exhales slowly, shakily, lifting her head just enough to prop her chin against his shoulder.]

It almost doesn't feel real.

[pottershotter]

[James knows exactly how this feels. He's done similarly careless, reckless things for friends. His first death that counted happened because he thought Remus might have been in Wonderland on a full moon. He ignored the warnings, he ran out anyway, and he paid the price for it.

It was the least he could to do make sure Lily woke up in her bed, comfortable and safe. It wasn't a luxury he'd had the first time.]

...It never does, really.

[He wishes he could tell her that it gets easier, or that the time will come when this doesn't feel so strange and surreal and unpleasant. But...he can't. A log, quiet moment passes where he just holds her close and lets her rest her head on him. Eventually though, he gently pulls back, but not for long. He's very gentle when he speaks.]

Scoot over a bit, alright?

[Because he's not really pulling away at all. Once she moves, James immediately climbs into their bed and curls up close with her.]

[abelmedic]

[For years now, Maxine's either been in a state of duress or literally living at her job, so the adjustment to having something approximating work hours is more than a little strange. Add to that the fact that she left behind an office she can't remember ever having worked in, full of paperwork she can't remember writing, and the place is a little eerie, even weeks in. She's done her best to ease into it, and to force herself to have a life outside of the clinic - though that does mean that she's still yet to really re-connect with a few of the other people working there.

She enters with her usual coffee and pauses, watching the young woman with the clipboard for several moments before raising her voice hesitantly.]

Are you . . . doing inventory?

[She guesses someone must, but again, for the last few years she can remember it's either been her or someone she bribed into doing the work.]

[exceedinglybright]

[Lily looks up at the sound of Maxine's voice, offering an almost sheepish smile over her shoulder as she balances her clipboard on her knee, crouched down in front of one of the lower cupboards.]

I thought it might be a good idea. I know we can get what we like from the closets, but it seems like a good idea to have everything well-stocked and on-hand so we don't have to go fumbling for it later-- or in case there's an another event like the last one.

[It wasn't the first event where the closets had been made unreliable, and she's certain it won't be the last.]

[abelmedic]

No, that's - that's really smart, actually.

[She looks over her shoulder at the clipboard, trying to spot any deficiencies she can grab from the closet while Lily counts and tallies.]

How can I help?

[exceedinglybright]

Well, I haven't gotten to the actual medicine yet.

[If Maxine was looking for a place to start, that might be a good one-- Lily isn't about to admit that she'd largely started the project as a way of keeping herself busy, distracted. It still served a greater purpose, regardless.

She draws up to her full height, clipboard momentarily tucked under her arm.]

Though I'm sure you have better things to do. After an event like that, your services are probably in demand-- lots of broken bones and stitching-up to take care of, I would assume.

[abelmedic]

I think a lot of our neighbors are the do-it-yourself type. I'm just hoping they don't limp in a few days from now with new and exciting infections.

[She's already moving to the shelves that house their makeshift pharmacy, reaching for the inventory sheets folded and tucked at the end of one row of bottles, and she smirks back over her shoulder.]

Besides, I do everything the old-fashioned way. If we're being totally honest, you should probably be chief medical officer around here.

[exceedinglybright]

Fingers crossed. At least some them seem marginally qualified to handle their own injuries, but certainly not all.

[The hunting and survivalist types often take care of themselves, she knows, as well as a number of other magic users, but not everyone is capable of patching themselves up, and they shouldn't be made to feel like they have to be.

Lily freezes for a brief moment at that suggestion, shaking her head.]

No, no-- I'm not a doctor, after all. And while I can take care of a lot of injuries and maladies with a wave of my wand, I've not trained to be a proper Healer yet, either. I'm still learning.

Library

[goodwoofjames]

[He hasn't been avoiding her, exactly. Just giving her space. So when he heads to the library looking for her, Sirius debates whether he should pretend he wasn't intentionally trying to find her. Maybe they could just move on, pretend it didn't happen. Maybe he could rely on the forgiveness he knows she'll give, and try to convince himself to forgive a little too.

But when he sees her standing, staring up at a bookshelf, looking so small next to it...

Sirius takes two long steps and wraps her up in his arms. His nose ends up buried in her shoulder. Through a tight throat, he chokes out:]

I'm so sorry.

[exceedinglybright]

[It's startling, at first-- she hasn't seen him in days, due to the fact that they've both been keeping their distance, but she doesn't pull away when he puts his arms around her, instead shaking her head and embracing him in turn.

She doesn't blame him. Of course she doesn't.]

Sirius, no-- no, it wasn't your fault.

[But she hugs him just a little bit tighter then, white-knuckled as her fingers curl into the back of his shirt.]

I'm sorry I couldn't reach you sooner.

[goodwoofjames]

[Sirius shakes his head hard.]

You shouldn't have come after me. I should've-- I was losing blood and I didn't realize you were already on your way, but I should've told you to stop.

[exceedinglybright]

You couldn't have stopped me if you tried.

[He had tried, in fact; he'd warned her away from him several times, but she hadn't been able to resign herself to her friend dying alone, forced to take his own life.]

I'm stubborn. You know that. It's something we have in common.

[goodwoofjames]

[Sirius snorts. Yeah, that's true.

He straightens up so he can look her in the eye.]

I don't remember everything I said, but. I'm sorry for it. I know how I get when I'm...

[Trying to be a brave Gryffindor?]

Scared.

[exceedinglybright]

[She's known him long enough to know that anything off-color he might have said, he wouldn't have meant. It had only been in the moment-- it hadn't been real.]

I think we all act against our own natures when we're scared, sometimes. I know I do.

[She had. She'd gotten reckless, and it was because she'd been afraid for him.]

[mypartnerintime]

[You'd think that a supply of unlimited books, regardless of rarity or time period, would have interested this somewhat-bookish, introverted girl more. But between events, explorations, hanging out with friends, and her own closet, Max hadn't quite found the time to wander around the library as much as she should have.

In hindsight, that might have been a bad idea. Books aren't just for pleasure reading, after all- they also hide a wealth of information, about time and space, and other scientific things that for the past few months have become way more important in Max's life. So she's been poking around. On some random days she can be found looking through bookshelves at random, pulling out titles that catch her interest. Most go unread except for a brief look over- others get tucked away under an arm for reading later on.

It's with a few too many books in hand that she runs into Lily, between two long shelves. She tries to wave as she calls out, but ends up dropping several books.]

Hi Li- ugh.

[exceedinglybright]

Max!

[What would have been an otherwise pleasant greeting is rerouted as Lily drops to her knees, setting her own book aside to help Max gather up what she'd dropped. She's done the same thing a time or two herself, if she's being honest-- taken on a little too much and wound up losing it all before she got to where she was going.]

Here, let me help--

[mypartnerintime]

Sorry. I'm such a klutz. [Max sounds sheepish, but she smiles as the two of the gather up the books. A lot of titles are about photography, but there are a few physics ones tucked in there, too.

She straightens up once she has the books properly stacked in hand.] Thanks. My book carrying skills are a little rusty.

sorry, I didn't foresee having to bump my hiatus up sooner when I made this post! :c

[exceedinglybright]

No, no, don't worry!

[Lily smiles openly in turn as she grabs the last book from its place on the floor, noting the common theme between a number of the titles.]

Photography, I see-- I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I haven't forgotten about that camera of yours, by the way, it's almost finished, but recent events--

[They had kept her a little bit distracted. She clears her throat, drawing back up to her full height.]

I didn't realize you were so interested in physics. Where were you headed with these? I can help you get them there, to avoid another spill.

it's all good! :D no worries

[mypartnerintime]

[She visibly perks up at the mention of the camera. Yes, Lily, she hasn't forgotten either, and every time she thinks about it she gets a little excited and finds it hard to sit still.] No no, I get it, it's been... hella tough. [Her expression becomes a little solemn, and she lets the moment of silence go on.

Though when Lily mentions physics, Max scrambles slightly for a good response. But then the woman follows up with a question, and Max quickly takes the opportunity to change the topic.] I have a table down there. Near that window. [She tilts her head to indicate the direction.]

[exceedinglybright]

[She nods in reply, shifting the weight of the books in her arms as she heads in the indicated direction.]

Doing some research, I take it.

[It's a common thing, in Wonderland, and it's a large part of what Lily spends her own time in the library doing.]

Looking for ways to get home?