[ It's almost enough to draw tears from her. Even after she thought they'd all been run dry, even after she'd felt only hollow grief, even after she swore not to involve him in her bitter affairs, he's still there, somehow. He reaches for her and she can't help but acquiesce, swallowing the lump in her throat and giving in to the gesture. He's so much bigger than her that it's like having him draped over her, but it's a familiar feeling, however much she doesn't want to admit it and wouldn't ever say it to him. Having Alistair ("an" Alistair? "the" Alistair?) hug her in this moment is much more of a comfort than she would have expected, considering the strength of the fear and hopelessness that's come to live in her, and she embraces him in return, buried against his chest and staying there as she tries to sort through the tangled mess of thoughts in her mind. ]
I know that you survive. [ She begins, after some time, turning her face sideways to speak so that he can hear, but not yet drawing back. ] That Leliana survives, that all the others do. I know that the Blight ends and that Ferelden is safe again. So many already have sacrificed themselves for our cause and I... am proud to be able to be part of that number, to do right by the Wardens and Ferelden.
[ Finally, she pulls away, still sitting up but again enforcing her self-made boundaries, clutching the hand that had been wrapped around him to the front of her shirt. ]
But, that doesn't make it any easier. [ Robyn admits, because he deserves her honesty, considering she'd been the one to bring up this... trial. The Warden slowly shakes her head, looking away, looking tired as she stares at the target dummy opposite where they'd been lying down. ]
I'm sorry. [ She says softly. ] I didn't want to tell you, but I-- It was a moment of weakness. This is my burden to bear, not yours.
[ Having seen the pain of it in Leliana's eyes had been more than enough. She can't apologize for giving her life, one day, for their cause, but she can feel the wracking guilt of leaving her friends behind. ]
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I know that you survive. [ She begins, after some time, turning her face sideways to speak so that he can hear, but not yet drawing back. ] That Leliana survives, that all the others do. I know that the Blight ends and that Ferelden is safe again. So many already have sacrificed themselves for our cause and I... am proud to be able to be part of that number, to do right by the Wardens and Ferelden.
[ Finally, she pulls away, still sitting up but again enforcing her self-made boundaries, clutching the hand that had been wrapped around him to the front of her shirt. ]
But, that doesn't make it any easier. [ Robyn admits, because he deserves her honesty, considering she'd been the one to bring up this... trial. The Warden slowly shakes her head, looking away, looking tired as she stares at the target dummy opposite where they'd been lying down. ]
I'm sorry. [ She says softly. ] I didn't want to tell you, but I-- It was a moment of weakness. This is my burden to bear, not yours.
[ Having seen the pain of it in Leliana's eyes had been more than enough. She can't apologize for giving her life, one day, for their cause, but she can feel the wracking guilt of leaving her friends behind. ]