If I can find another way without sacrificing our case, I'd like to take it. [ She says, with a little, humorless laugh and a ghost of a smile. ] Believe me, Alistair, I don't want this to happen: to die, to leave--

[ She very nearly bites her tongue to keep from bringing it up, from mentioning the pain it causes her to imagine the reaction that the man she loves would have in hearing of this, and so she hastily substitutes: ]

--the others. [ Which is also true. When Leliana had told her, it had been heartbreaking enough, and that had been ten years ago to the spymaster's memory. ] If I can avoid it somehow without compromising anything, I... would like to live.

[ Who wouldn't want to live to see Ferelden saved and the honor of the Grey Wardens restored? Who wouldn't want to go on living in any case, rather than to die in battle?

That may be the reality for some people, but she's always been too bright-eyed about the world to think it. ]

If only we could remember our experiences here for when we return. [ Would they even believe her? She highly doubts it. Leliana would, maybe: she'd had visions from the Maker, after all. Stranger things have happened to them all. ]

I don't expect anything. [ From anyone, from anything. ] I know so much is left to chance. I can only do what I think is right.

[ And, in the end, if that means giving her life... then, so be it. ]