Alistair (Theirin) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fatherlesskind) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entrancelogs2016-04-27 10:20 pm
fatherlesskind) wrote in entrancelogs2016-04-27 10:20 pm
Entry tags:
[Semi-Closed] Isn't it a little early for a mid-life crisis?
Who: Alistair & Mystique + others maybe
Where: Around Wonderland
When: April 22nd and several days after
Rating: PG-13, talk of death
Summary: Alistair has gotten first-hand experience with Wonderland deaths and he really needs to just not think about anything for a while thanks.
The Story:
[Waking up had been a surprise, no matter what he'd heard before. It wasn't the first time Alistair had fallen and expected not to wake up again but this time was different. This time he didn't come to with an old woman looking down at him and telling him that all his comrades bar one had died. That was the good part. That other bit? The actually dying bit after feeling himself eaten away by that fungus? That was really not good.
He'd known since shortly after he became a Warden that he didn't have a long life ahead of him. And after Ostagar, with a Blight and an archdemon and a civil war to contend with, he'd known that he could die at any time. That his chances of surviving it all were small. But it had never been so immediate. So real. And he'd never expected it to be fleeting. It's unnerving in so many ways, twisting inside him and making him wish he found prayer as reassuring as so many of the other boys at the monastery had. But the Maker never answered any of his prayers before and when he tries his thoughts just chase themselves in circles and the words won't come.
It's too quiet on his own with only a cat to talk to - a cat that does his best but their conversations do get a little samey after a while. So he goes in search of company, with a mewling kitten squirming in his arms and climbing his shoulders all the while. He starts by checking in on his friends here in Wonderland, knocking on their doors and waiting hopefully for a response, difficult to ignore with the cries of his feline companion to alert people to his presence.
Eventually he finds himself wandering the mansion and grounds (mostly) alone in search of company. He can be heard coming a mile away, loud mewling broken up by words.]
I know! [And-] I think you have a point but have you thought about the mess it will make?
[Alistair is quick to interrupt his current conversation as soon as he spots someone - anyone - else to talk to.]
Look Purrlock, company!
[And if his smile seems a little forced and his words even more boisterous than usual, well, the last event was hard on everyone right?]
[OOC: This is mostly for pre-arranged threads but if you want something just PM me or hit me up at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
fetchquesting.]
Where: Around Wonderland
When: April 22nd and several days after
Rating: PG-13, talk of death
Summary: Alistair has gotten first-hand experience with Wonderland deaths and he really needs to just not think about anything for a while thanks.
The Story:
[Waking up had been a surprise, no matter what he'd heard before. It wasn't the first time Alistair had fallen and expected not to wake up again but this time was different. This time he didn't come to with an old woman looking down at him and telling him that all his comrades bar one had died. That was the good part. That other bit? The actually dying bit after feeling himself eaten away by that fungus? That was really not good.
He'd known since shortly after he became a Warden that he didn't have a long life ahead of him. And after Ostagar, with a Blight and an archdemon and a civil war to contend with, he'd known that he could die at any time. That his chances of surviving it all were small. But it had never been so immediate. So real. And he'd never expected it to be fleeting. It's unnerving in so many ways, twisting inside him and making him wish he found prayer as reassuring as so many of the other boys at the monastery had. But the Maker never answered any of his prayers before and when he tries his thoughts just chase themselves in circles and the words won't come.
It's too quiet on his own with only a cat to talk to - a cat that does his best but their conversations do get a little samey after a while. So he goes in search of company, with a mewling kitten squirming in his arms and climbing his shoulders all the while. He starts by checking in on his friends here in Wonderland, knocking on their doors and waiting hopefully for a response, difficult to ignore with the cries of his feline companion to alert people to his presence.
Eventually he finds himself wandering the mansion and grounds (mostly) alone in search of company. He can be heard coming a mile away, loud mewling broken up by words.]
I know! [And-] I think you have a point but have you thought about the mess it will make?
[Alistair is quick to interrupt his current conversation as soon as he spots someone - anyone - else to talk to.]
Look Purrlock, company!
[And if his smile seems a little forced and his words even more boisterous than usual, well, the last event was hard on everyone right?]
[OOC: This is mostly for pre-arranged threads but if you want something just PM me or hit me up at
no subject
It's not your fault. [Even if Anders had been there he's not sure it would have made a difference. Or it could have made things worse and they both might have wound up like that. So better that he'd been alone in the end, no matter how that had felt.]
You don't have to say anything. [Any other circumstances and he'd count throwing the other man for a loop as an accomplishment. As it is, he'd rather not have managed that but here they are. If it's any comfort to Anders no one else is going to hear about his inability to find something to say about the situation.] But I wouldn't say no if that hug was still on offer.
[Alistair smiles, trying to pass it off as a joke. Which it half is. The other half is just going to have to be disappointed because he's pretty sure Wardens don't go around hugging each other when something bad happens else they'd never stop.]
no subject
[Looking at Alistair now, it's difficult to imagine him succumbing to the zombie sickness the same way people succumb to the taint. He looks perfectly untouched and healthy--easy to be fooled into thinking he's fine when that couldn't be farther from the truth.
Anders can understand too well the appeal of clinging to humor. To feel yourself slipping away and come back from that? That'd be a memory Anders would be happy letting Wonderland gobble up.]
You're in my top ten, remember? You can have as many as you want. Only the best for my favorite people. [He even goes so far as to lift his arms briefly as if about to go in for a hug.] But really, whatever you need. I'm at your disposal. I can't even begin to imagine what ghoulification must be like--that's not something anyone should have to find out firsthand.
no subject
[For his Calling, yes. Because he needed practice for that. It wasn't like it was pretty straightforward or anything. And now he's thinking about it, what it will be like when the taint finally claims him and-]
Are you sure you won't need to drink after?
[Because he does remember how the topic of hugs came up the first time. Anders did say he could though. And then brought up the topic of ghouls. Alistair has seen more than enough of those and people still just succumbing to the corruption and while he'd thought about what that would be like before he'd never really known. Still doesn't but-
Stepping over to Anders he grabs the other man, intending to go in for a bone-crushing, lift-the-mage-off-his-feet hug that they'll both laugh about after - or he'll laugh and Anders might complain about. And that's how it starts sure, arms tight around the mage, about to heave him up off his feet. And then his grip slackens and Alistair stands there a too-long moment before letting go and pulling back with a self-conscious cough.]
That... worked better in my head. Did you want that drink now? [Maybe it's not such a bad idea.]
no subject
[Anders has had more than enough of big, burly men lifting him off the ground and squeezing him until he feels like the human equivalent of ointment being pushed out of a tube, but the offer had been honestly meant. When there's a genuine need, it's in his nature to set personal discomforts aside, not out in front. If Alistair actually wants to make him human ointment...
Well, the move toward him is unexpected, but Anders doesn't protest. He sure wasn't kidding.
Arms tighten on him and he half-thinks Alistair is about to have him relive his experience with The Refugee. He doesn't see a career as a bear hug recipient in his future, but he can live with it for Alistair's sake. A joke and a laugh is better than a mental breakdown or whatever the normal reaction is supposed to be when you spit in nature's eye and come back from the dead.
But Alistair doesn't follow through.
He stops like that, arms around him, and Anders senses the moment he takes him up on his offer in a very real way. That's his cue. An arm slips out from under the loop of Alistair's and pats him on the back, coming to rest there, palm flat. Let the actual hug commence. No words necessary.]
I think it worked fine. [As in he's not complaining or, most importantly, judging. Anders' tone is casual as can be when Alistair finally extricates himself.] After putting up with basement-dwelling fungus monsters, several drinks sound like a good place to start. To the bar or stay here?
no subject
Raising his head just enough to direct a smile at Anders he nods. Drinks it is. Post-hug drinks. It might become a tradition if they keep it up.]
Let's go to the bar. [There's other people there and as unsettled and sick and everything else he feels when his thoughts stray in the wrong direction, company is good. Alistair has always hated being alone, even in the Chantry where most of the other recruits saw him as an annoyance at best their company had been better than being on his own. Yes, Anders will still be here if they stay put but the distraction of a roomful of people would be good too. Unless he does something really embarrassing. And he's pretty sure he's done there for the day.]
Just give me a minute. [Though he really doesn't need to check Purrlock's food and water courtesy of his volunteer sitter he does anyway. With a quick scratch under the chin - the leads to a longer tussle and his fingers getting chewed on - he farewells the cat and turns back to Anders.] Now I'm ready.
no subject
[Anders says nothing of the hug or the blush that accompanies it. Some things are worth teasing people over, but not this. This is too meaningful a thing to undercut with mockery, however good-humored. Who cares if they're men, or warriors, or Wardens? They're human, too.
Life's lonely enough as it is without denying themselves comfort, giving or receiving or anything in between.
And Alistair--Alistair doesn't deserve what Wonderland's done to him. With head bowed, he looks younger than he ever has, and it makes Anders think he deserves... better. Far better when so much responsibility is already resting on those slumped shoulders. Comfort and empathy is the least he's owed.
He waits at the door until Alistair is done saying goodbye to Purrlock, head tilting to take in his expression.]
All right?
[Are you all right?]