entrancelogs | 'Tis rather inconvenient like this. +

Entry tags:

'Tis rather inconvenient like this. +

Who: You! !oot ,uoy dnA
Where: Wonderland, both Real and Mirror side
When: June 3 to June 10
Rating: PG-13, will vary by thread, warnings for higher ratings appreciated
Summary: A catch-all log for Mirrors and Reals during the reverse espionage event. Anything from Mirrors leading their daily lives, over Reals reacting to the show, to Reals and Mirrors exchanging messages goes here. Just label your locations and sides accordingly!
The Story:

Your own medicine is worth twice the sweetness in the bush, that is what they say! Here is my plan, now make sure you listen well, or you get it wrong, and then I would need to pair you all up, for only two even wrongs set my head back on right, and we've no time for such things, no time at all, do we?

As mighty as the sharpest blade, as stout as the hardest shield, a spool of thread woven from hearts of gold. It must exist, and I must have it! She'll do worse to my head if I search, but you'll help, won't you? I will let you see, and you will be my eyes! All good things come tomorrow - then I'll let you see, and you'll be my eyes, and when it's all done you'll use your own mouths to tell my personal ears all you know, won't you?

All of Wonderland's mirrors are suddenly working in reverse. The Real side can see everything, and the Mirror side is left with nothing but their own reflections. Details of the event can be found here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There's a long silence in which Frisk writes nothing. What's that supposed to mean? Is this...is this another trick? No, they can't just assume that's always going to be the case. That'd be paranoid, and besides, this Chara's proven to be their friend as well, right? Warning them, telling them things even at the risk of their own life...that's what friends do, right?

Frisk chews on their lip, scrubs away the tears welling treacherously at the corners of their eyes, then scrawl out a response.

* What do you mean?

They don't know what the silence means, but... ha. They ask for more. They don't shoot it down. Chara tries for a watery smile, something they hope can maybe be apologetic and comforting, but it's feeble and short-lived.

"I told you I could be useful, right? I can be your eyes and ears. I've seen what they think nobody else saw. I know what they're doing. And I..." A defeated little exhalation. "I know you care about them, despite everything. I know you want to believe in them, so I'm... I'm sorry about this, I feel awful about telling you this, but... but it's not right that they trick you like this! Kindness shouldn't be taken advantage of!"

It's the most fervent they've been this whole time, and they go abruptly quiet, go a little rosier. Feel a little embarrassed they'd be so noisy and unrestrained. Deep breath. Try again.

"The version they've been telling Toriel... it's awful. They knew they had to admit to being there, because Sans is here, but they keep making it sound like... like you forced them to do everything they did. Like they were just some passenger watching you kill and kill and kill, just because nothing was stopping you and nobody could condemn you for it. Like they started out this... pure and innocent thing who still wanted to free everyone, and you... I don't know, you went out of your way to show them there was no such thing as a happy ending on purpose. They keep blaming you, over and over."

Frisk's puzzled expression deepens the longer Chara goes on, mingling disbelief and dismay. That can't be right. Not the way Chara's been talking to them since Toriel got here. It can't be right at all. The story's just not consistent to the way they've been acting.

They let the words tumble out in a rush, hesitating for a long moment after again. The marks are wiped away, cleaned from the mirror, and then they finally respond in turn.

* Are you lying to me?
Their heart thumps achingly in their chest, and they wish they could claw back the response. Almost as quickly as it appears, the words are being wiped away again with a frantic desperation as Frisk regrets even...even asking.

Chara... Chara smiles, thin and shaky. The words are barely even there long enough for them to read, but they're... "Ha ha. I'm not surprised. Of course you'd pick them over me. Of course you'd believe them instead."

They pull their knees to their chest, hide their face behind them. Shake a little. Definitely just with suppressed giggles. "It's okay. You don't... I'm not going to force you to believe me. I'm not really your Chara, right? It just..."

Hesitance. Is there any point? Is it just futile? Small and huddled, their voice quiet, wavering with emotion, they push more words out. "It's just... you're not stupid. I'm positive you've noticed. Toriel's sense of justice... it's really strong, huh? Absolutely everyone is telling her how good you are, how much everyone loves you, how you saved absolutely everyone and set monsters free, and it's not changing her mind. So... it's weird, right? It's weird that she's so not okay with you or Asgore, but she's acting like Chara's some kind of precious delicate treasure. Don't you think if they were really being honest, she'd be at least a little bit disappointed in them?"

* It's not a question of picking.
* It's a question of doing the right thing.
Wow, and what a hypocrite they are to even go there, right? But...but they're trying. They really need to try harder, work to always do the right thing if they can, and make things right again. With Toriel, with Chara, with everyone.

* They're her kid.
* What were either of us expecting?
Again, Frisk finds themselves grateful for the barrier that allows their expression to go unread. It's...kind of a loaded question. Maybe the bitterness seeps into the words regardless, but...but it's just text. Just ink on glass. How easy can it be to read into that?

"Every child who fell into the Ruins was her kid. That includes you." They mumble softly. Still trying to be at least a little comforting, even if it's probably not making any difference. "I'm... I'm worried, Frisk. By how much you're making excuses for them. You won't even admit you're jealous of them."

Of course they're jealous. Who wouldn't be jealous? Even Frisk is not so pure and selfless a martyr that they're immune to wistful pangs of envy.

"If you guys are really partners, really friends... then why isn't it 50/50? I know you all keep saying that the both of you together are the anomaly, but if that's the case... how come Chara gets a second chance to have a clean slate, and you're the one who has to come clean to all your friends?"

* I'm just trying to keep myself honest.
What's Chara saying? That they're too hard on themselves, or whatever? No, that can't be right. They're the one who's gotten off scot-free for nearly everything, right until Toriel showed up. And she...she has a right to be angry. If she wants to dismiss everything Chara says about themselves, isn't that her choice and her decision?

...yeah. It is. It's okay if they suffer. They have to.

Frisk was her child in many timelines, in every way that counted. But they also killed her in just as many timelines, maybe even more. Because they were curious, because they were frustrated, because they were bent on tearing apart the world at the seams. There's no excuse for what they are. No excuse at all.
* I don't understand why this matters so much to you.

"Because I care about you, Frisk."

Isn't that obvious? They're the only friend this Chara really has. The only one who's going to SAVE them. Because...

Chara pulls their knees closer. Tries to make themselves smaller. Whispers, sort of halfway hopes it's too quiet for Frisk to hear.

"She'll find another kid, and instantly forget about you. You'll NEVER see her again."

They've been taunted by this before. They're the kind of kid who climbs a mountain too, who maybe doesn't really have a family, who maybe heard some cruel things about being not wanted, not deserving of love, that no-one will ever love them the way they are.

"It's not fair that it's true. It's not fair that he's right. Wasn't he supposed to be proven wrong?"

Spitting those words back at them. Frisk winces at that, looks away. It's not wrong, and that's what stings. The six who came before them...they all perished. Toriel had to learn to let go, again and again. And then cling onto the next child that happened by?

No. No, that can't be right at all. Only...that's exactly how it happened. How it must have happened.

* It's more complicated than that.
* We're not each other's enemy. You understand that, right?
Chara, no matter which version they're talking about...they're both Frisk's friends. Right? And Frisk is supposed to listen, and be patient. But right now they're just shutting them down.

"Why can't you understand that I'm trying to help you?" Chara ventures, though it's limp, subdued, defeated. Barely a question. "I'm not trying to cause trouble, or be your enemy, or... or start a war, or whatever you think I'm doing."

Only... that's not a surprising thing for Frisk to believe? This Chara isn't even real. Is even more of an irritating shade than the flesh-and-blood version on the other side. All Chara's ever done is cause trouble and sow discord, anyway, so of course that's what Frisk would expect, right?

"I don't like seeing you tell yourself you don't deserve to be happy too. How am I supposed to believe you telling me that things can be better or I can be something different if you seem to have already accepted that not everyone deserves forgiveness, right? You're part of everyone too."

* I'm sorry.
* That just seemed to be what the other me was doing.
Now that they've seen them directly, they can make that decisive judgment: they don't think they like their mirror all that much. That snarling, ugly, vindictive speech they sprayed vicious in Frisk's direction was cruelty upon cruelty. It wasn't even necessary. They could've just as easily told Frisk directly, but instead they had to make a demonstration out of it.

Ha...forgiveness. They have to learn to forgive themselves too, don't they? They always overlook that. And Sans...he's nice to them, and they've reached a good, reassuring sort of point, but can he ever really forgive them? It's hard to know if he's not angrier at them because he's genuinely that forgiving, or if it's just too much work to stay mad at them for long. Or maybe it's because they know it's the latter that they never think about it much.

* I am looking for forgiveness.
* I'll just have to do it the hard way.
* Without wiping away everyone's memories of the bad things I've done.

"...I'll always forgive you. You have that, at least," Chara mumbles, uncoiling enough to start drawing pointless little patterns on the carpet with their finger.

"I know you're... it's a bit like it is with this Frisk. You don't actually want my help. You won't ask anybody for help." Just let the wound bleed. Keep flexing your hand over and over, so the cuts keep reopening, so the pain keeps radiating through them. "But at the very least... I'll always forgive you. I'll care about you, no matter what. You're the only real friend I've got, and I... ha ha, I don't think the Frisk here's ever going to forgive me enough to be my friend."

Frisk cringes at that. It's a little bit true, isn't it? The most they can ever do is call for help, and hope someone comes. But if no one does...they pull themselves out of their mess. That's what they always do, isn't it? They make messes, and then neglect to clean any of them up.

* That's not true.
No?

Of course it's true. They both know it.

* I know people on this side who'll care about you.
* I can ask them.
* It'll be all right. Okay?

"...Would you? It's... a little scary, I guess, to write now. We don't know who's on the other side." Don't even know if anyone's there at all, actually.

"I hate it," they blurt. They thought that events were supposed to be hard for the people on the other side, not for them. "At least when I could watch all of you, I could pretend I wasn't so alone. But now, I... nobody here wants me. There's nobody in the mirrors except my own face, and I'd rather be alone forever than look at that."

Frisk's heart twists painfully at that admission. This Chara is just so...crumpled and tired and sad. They inanely want to reach through the glass and help them, put a hand on their shoulder, anything. But they can't. The most they can do is be a vaguely reassuring voice on the other side.

* I'm sorry.
* I don't know how to prove to you I'm Frisk.
* But I am.
* And I care about you.

"I know you're Frisk," they offer, with what they hope is a cheering little smile. "Nobody else would have actually bothered to listen to me for this long." Fitting, right? The only one who could ever hear them. Being split apart hasn't seemed to change that too much, huh.

"I just... sometimes I wish I could... I don't know." They do know. They know exactly what they want to do, but it's not the kind of thing you talk about. Not even to kids who climb a mountain. So they settle for a milder version, twitch their shoulders in hopeless little shrug. "Run away. Escape this whole entire world. Maybe I could find somewhere with people like you, right? Somewhere I'd actually belong."

Ha...that's kind of the same reasoning Frisk used, right? Climbing a mountain, and disappearing. Maybe there's somewhere better for something like them.

It hurts, knowing they can't do anything for this Chara. Anything more than they have already.

* You will belong one day.
* Nothing like this lasts forever.
* Right?
If things can change for Frisk, alter the trajectory of their entire life and redirect it into the best thing that ever happened to them, who's to say it can't happen for anyone else?

Another smile. This one sad, heavy, dead-eyed.

"Thanks, Frisk, but... it really won't." A figment of Wonderland has no world to return to. A figment of Wonderland doesn't get to decide how long it exists. They're only around for as long as they're of use to the Queen. Only around so long as that detestable other Chara is.

"I can't change fate by myself. I can't find a way out of here alone. I'll just be left behind here. Someday, you'll go home, and you'll get to live whatever ending you want to, and you'll forget all about me. I'll never see you again. We'll never even have had the chance to meet face-to-face. Actually talk, instead of... instead of scribbling like this."

There's a horrible truth to that. Without the resolve to change fate...do mirrors even have access to that level of determination? Their heart wrenches in their chest for the umpteenth time. They're not strong enough for this, they really aren't. Not on top of everything else.

But maybe they have to be strong, anyway. That's the most they can hope for, right?

* Do you want me to talk to my mirror?
* They seem kind of mean to you.
* I might be able to change their mind.

"No!" They squeak the answer out almost immediately, wide-eyed and spooked. "If they find out we've been talking, they'll use that against you. They'll take it out on me. No one will be happy with this."

They already know they're a prop. They already know that letting people know you care is just an invitation to have it weaponized against you. "It's... you're doing more than enough already, Frisk, really. It means a lot that you're just willing to talk to me, especially when things... when things are so... you know. When you're going through all this."

* They just yelled at me and used you to do it.
* It's not a secret anymore.
* They don't have to know we've been talking.
They don't know if they honestly have it in them to just let something like that sit. The other them, the them on the other side of the mirror...they're scary. But they're also still Frisk. Still an aspect of themselves that they can't shake.

It's terrifying.

* It might be enough for you, but it's not for me.

"I... I mean, I won't tell you what to do. You can choose that for yourself. I wouldn't, but I'm... I'm also kind of. Not brave." They laugh, a self-deprecating chuckle that doesn't alleviate the tension near as much as Chara hoped. Better than nothing, though, right? If you can still laugh at your situation, you're doing okay. Good to keep your sense of humour!

"Standing up to yourself just sounds... it sounds really intimidating, you know? I mean... they're you. They know all your weak points."

That laugh's an easy coping mechanism, even if it's just a shade of the Real Chara's smiles and too-cheerful looks. Frisk's breath tightens as they reach to write again.

* I know all theirs too.
* Don't worry.
* Just let me know if they hurt you again. Okay?
It's braver than that neutral tone of a marker might suggest. Frisk is still shaking subtly, worried, scared, nervous, knowing that once this event ends, whenever it does, it'll all go back to how it was. Their mirrored self being brutal and sarcastic and thoroughly nasty toward Chara's mirror, and they won't know anything about it.

"Don't worry about me, Frisk. Really. I mean it. I'm not determined, but I'm... I'm resilient, I guess? I'll keep going." For lack of anything better to do. They're useful to the Queen, and as long as they're useful, they have a reason to exist. A reason to keep going! That's enough. That's plenty.

"Maybe this... I mean, maybe it won't be so bad. You all get to see exactly what your mirrors are like, so you won't get... I don't know. Tricked by them? Maybe... hey, maybe I'll make some more friends on your side, right?"

* Yeah.
* I know there are people on this side who will care.
* You're not alone.
Even if Frisk feels lonelier than they've ever been, and not even for any good reason. They cringe, wishing they could do more to help. But...that's not for them right now, is it?

* I can ask around. See if there are any mirrors who might be willing to help you.

'Tis rather inconvenient like this. +

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