entrancelogs | 'Tis rather inconvenient like this. +

Entry tags:

'Tis rather inconvenient like this. +

Who: You! !oot ,uoy dnA
Where: Wonderland, both Real and Mirror side
When: June 3 to June 10
Rating: PG-13, will vary by thread, warnings for higher ratings appreciated
Summary: A catch-all log for Mirrors and Reals during the reverse espionage event. Anything from Mirrors leading their daily lives, over Reals reacting to the show, to Reals and Mirrors exchanging messages goes here. Just label your locations and sides accordingly!
The Story:

Your own medicine is worth twice the sweetness in the bush, that is what they say! Here is my plan, now make sure you listen well, or you get it wrong, and then I would need to pair you all up, for only two even wrongs set my head back on right, and we've no time for such things, no time at all, do we?

As mighty as the sharpest blade, as stout as the hardest shield, a spool of thread woven from hearts of gold. It must exist, and I must have it! She'll do worse to my head if I search, but you'll help, won't you? I will let you see, and you will be my eyes! All good things come tomorrow - then I'll let you see, and you'll be my eyes, and when it's all done you'll use your own mouths to tell my personal ears all you know, won't you?

All of Wonderland's mirrors are suddenly working in reverse. The Real side can see everything, and the Mirror side is left with nothing but their own reflections. Details of the event can be found here.

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Mm. I remember you. You and Duncan, the two other recruits, and none of us made it through the Joining. Did he thank his lucky stars that he survived his own? "The Maker smiles on his Grey Wardens..."

[ She mumbles the last bit, glancing away. Then, she frowns. ]

They died, I... nearly. You can see what I am. Not a ghoul, not darkspawn, but not a Warden. The memories aren't real, it never happened, but here I am.

[ A tool of the Queen of Hearts. Not Robyn Cousland, nothing more than an imitation. ]

What would you call me, ser? [ She asks quietly. ] Would it be uncomfortable for you to call me by the same name as your sister in arms?

[ ... "Alistair," though. Hadn't there been something about an Alistair? The Mirror doesn't know him, of course, doesn't know his own Mirror much, either, but there had been something about the Real Robyn and this Warden that nags at her now. ]

Oh. [ She says suddenly, eyes very bright, watching the glass intently. ] I know who you are. I've seen it. I remember. We see a lot that you all don't notice. You forget about us, but we still see.

[Not real. She's not real. It's a relief for all that he has to pity her, knowing her own memories - her own life perhaps - to be an illusion. And to have such memories, real or not. He's seen enough people die during their Joining. It looks like an agonising death, the only blessing that it's quick and better than losing oneself and becoming a ghoul. To remember that agony- He shudders. He was definitely thanking the Maker now that he'd survived his own.]

I see. Thank you for telling me.

[Knowing that she's not really some version of the Warden he knows and how she came to be neither Warden nor ghoul, it is uncomfortable to call her by Robyn's name. But pity and the desire to stay on good terms with her having him pushing that aside as best he can.]

If that's what you prefer Robyn. [Lying is a lot easier when she can't see his face or hear his voice.

As is hiding his response to her sudden realisation. He doesn't care for the reminder that normally it's the other way around and they're all being watched without knowing it.] I'm glad I managed to make an impression. What do you remember seeing? Nothing embarrassing I hope.

You're welcome. [ Strange, she thinks, to thank her for that. He likely doesn't mean it, she tells herself. After all, she can't see his expression (which bothers her immensely). It's more probable that he's disgusted with her appearance and will be even less pleased with what she has to say.

Then again, she isn't sure. She doesn't know him. ]

Robyn. Robin. Like a bird. Flighty, nervous. [ There's a thoughtful pause. ] Small.

[ The Mirror chews on her lower lip in a reflection of her Real, though she does so unintentionally. ]

Are you keeping secrets, Grey Warden? [ She asks quietly, watching him passively, ignoring his question and attempt at levity. ] I think you are. I've seen some of the things you don't talk about. [ She won't be specific on that one. Jealous, jealous of all of their lives and their loves and their happiness, their color and laughter. ] But, you aren't the only one.

[ She doesn't owe the Real Robyn any loyalty, doesn't feel obligated to keep secrets for her. It might breathe a little more life, in fact, into the half-dead Mirror to see some raw emotion every once in a while. This is an opportunity. Maybe. If it doesn't seem as interesting, she'll change course. ]

You have roses on your side, too. I saw it in her room. Our Queen likes red ones. [ A beat, and then: ] Robyn the Grey Warden is lying to you. She's done it more than once. I see it in her face, but you don't.

[ Technically, her Real has been avoiding the truth more than lying, and her Mirror knows that it's been done mostly to spare feelings. But, you all have so many to spare! Why shut them all up like that? ]

Robins sound nice too.

[He almost went with that they're pretty instead. A comparison that works for the real Robyn but would surely just upset the mirror. She doesn't need to see his face to know he's lying when it's so obvious. That at least might be a believable compliment.

As for secrets... Alistair frowns worriedly, studying her intently as he tries to guess what she's talking about. Everyone has secrets and Wardens especially seem to collect them. But she could mean anything. There's plenty he doesn't talk about or at least not to certain people. Things that aren't anyone's business, especially not a spy.

A spy who might also be a little crazy. He's wracking his memory for anything to do with roses when the mirror yanks his attention back to her. He hesitates before writing his next response but finally the words appear.]

Lying about what?

[It feels like a betrayal to ask someone else who only knows because she spies on people what Robyn might be lying to him about. But he's undeniably curious and it can't be anything terrible. She - the real Robyn, he doesn't know about this one but she does spy on people so that's not encouraging - is a good person. Any secrets she has can't be that bad. It's not like she might have, have sided with Loghain or anything. It won't hurt to ask. And the not-Robyn might be lying or twisting the truth.]

"Healthy as can be." [ The Mirror says, voice a chilly imitation of her Real's when she'd spoken to Alistair upon her return. ] I can't know for sure, but, Alistair, I know her tells. I know her face.

[ Naturally, though her own is far from the portrait of health. ]

I am tainted, poisoned, yes. But, I'll never have to face an archdemon and die to defeat it. At least I still have my home.

[ Yes. The one thing that the Mirror has that her Real does not. The Mirror side is her home, really, and she'll always have that, while Robyn-- ]

She told Leliana, though. The spymaster. [ After all, she'd never met a Leliana in her "lifetime." ] "I'm not glad to have died," she said. Died. [ The Mirror reaches out and traces those four letters against the mirror with her fingertips. ] Another Robyn dies because of the Grey Wardens.

[He's confused at first, not making the connection to his conversation with Robyn on her return, distracted by his name in a familiar voice from a familiar face twisted by corruption.

He's shaking his head as she talks of the archdemon, the battle against which the real Robyn had only recently returned from, whole and unharmed.

When she spells it out at last, plain enough that he can't even pretend not to understand, Alistair takes an unconscious step back from the mirror. Watching her trace out Robyn's fate he swallows, throat tight, not wanting to believe it. She can't have died back in Ferelden and then let him think she was perfectly fine. It can't be true.

This one, the spy on the other side of the mirror, she could be lying. Trying to cause trouble between them. Stepping back to the glass he stares at the woman - ghoul, something - on the other side before slowly writing his reply.]

How do I know you're telling the truth?

How do you know anyone is telling the truth? [ She muses, calm again, blinking almost curiously at him. ] Have you never lied, Grey Warden? Have you never lied to her?

[ The Mirror doesn't know for sure in either direction. She's only just met Alistair, after all, and though she's seen him through the mirrors, she has no idea when he has or hasn't lied. Still, it's a worthy question, she thinks. ]

Best say your goodbyes. [ "Robyn" speaks quietly. ] I hope she doesn't go because I think that means I'll go, too. But... it does happen. They come and go all the time. Sometimes we're sent off with them.

[ Not back "home," though. Just into nothingness. The Mirrors must be useless tools without their Reals. Or... maybe they can't exist without them?

She shifts, frowning, having made herself uncomfortable. ]

There are a lot of things I wish I'd said. [ It's quiet again, with the Mirror thinking of her "family," the Couslands. Of false memories. ] But I didn't know I would be without them so soon. [ beat ] See? You should thank me. Now you have the chance.

[ There's another long pause. ]

I'd rather not speak of this anymore.

[Alistair glares at the mirror surface, mumbling irritably to himself as he does. 'Have you never lied Alistair? Oh, look at me, I'm a creepy spy accusing people of lying.' Yes, he'd lied occasionally or avoided bringing up things that he didn't want anyone knowing, like his heritage. But that was different. It wasn't like he'd died... in Ferelden where it was a lot more permanent.

His irritation fades quickly as the not-Robyn keeps talking, reminding him that none of them have any control over whether or not they stay in Wonderland. If she is telling the truth and the real Robyn died fighting the archdemon then there's no going back for her. She's stuck in Wonderland and if she disappears then he'll never see her again and won't even have the comfort of knowing she's back home where she belongs.

Still, he finds the suggestion he should thank not-Robyn for telling him something that real-Robyn didn't want him to know hard to swallow.]

Thank you. Right.

[She does have a tiny point though. There were so many things he'd never said to Duncan that he wishes he could now. If there's a chance to avoid that he should take it. Sighing, he looks over the woman on the other side of the glass. If Robyn vanishes so will she. She's lost people - real or not, it must hurt - and all but lost herself to the taint. She still feels and the pity comes back as he takes in her discomfort.]

I think I'm done with it too.

[Though he's not sure if he has anything else to say to her now. Fiddling with his inkpot Alistair frowns at her and weighs up continuing the stilted conversation or simply leaving.]

[ How did he react? How does he feel? She imagines that a person's friend might be upset to find out that she had died, but the Mirror, who can claim no friends in Wonderland, isn't completely sure. Maybe he's just angry with her, the double, for seemingly delighting in her Real's tragedy. It's true that she's jealous, bitter, and without much love for the other Robyn, but... she isn't an inherently cruel person. She feels a little bad for taunting a stranger who'd reached out to her. ]

... I'm sorry. [ She says finally, and looks it. Means it, if only to quell the sting of guilt. ] I just thought you might want to know, if you're... friends. It would hurt her to keep all that locked up inside and to lie about it, I think.

[ Does that make it easier for him to hear? She doesn't know much about her other save for what she's seen through the glass, but Real Robyn had always seemed to have trouble lying to the people she spent the most time with. ]

I wonder if she misses Highever. [ The Mirror muses softly, mind drifting again. ] I miss Highever.

[The last traces of anger fade away as she speaks again. She does look genuinely apologetic and had good intentions. And he can't hold a grudge over her telling him something he wanted to know and is glad to have heard, as unpleasant as the subject is.]

It's fi- [Alright, that's not entirely true.] It's forgiven.

[Maybe she's right and it will be better this way, once he's been able to talk to the real Robyn about it. Though the fact that not-Robyn is only able to share that information because she spies on people is something he's never going to be comfortable with.

Honestly, the whole thing with the other Wonderland their doubles there is uncomfortable. She says her memories aren't real - those of her Joining at least - but she also remembers Robyn's home.]

Can you tell me about it? I've never been there.

[And he's curious if her memories will match the real Robyn's should he ask her about them.]

About Highever? [ She doubts he means about the Mirror side. It's difficult and certainly bizarre to have conflicting memories, to have the ones from the original Robyn while also knowing definitively that she herself was created and has always lived on this side of the mirrors. She draws closer, looking almost wistful for a time gone by, though the time and the home are not hers, not really. ]

It was... warm. Full of life and energy. Mabari, people, music and laughter and talking. It was a big place, but it always seemed so full. Nobles and their families came to visit, politicians met with Bryce Cousland-- he knew Duncan, you know. They respected each other, though Bryce never wanted his daughter to join the Grey Wardens. For obvious reasons.

[ One is suffering and dying from the taint. The other faced incredible hardship and died for Ferelden. ]

You would have liked it. [ No, she doesn't know that, because she doesn't know Alistair at all. But, who wouldn't have liked it? The place exuded vivacity and brightness. ] It's still there, of course, but it will never be the same.

[Alistair immediately perks up at Duncan's name. Of course he knew that Duncan had been at Highever when Howe attacked but he hadn't known that there was any kind of relationship between him and the Teyrn of Highever. If the same relationship existed between the Teyrn Cousland and Duncan of his home as the one of Robyn's home it's even worse that being a Warden means so little to Aedan. But given how wildly different he and Robyn are that shouldn't come as a surprise.]

I think you're right. It sounds like a good place to grow up. [With a loving family. The usual tug of envy that always comes when he hears about such things is accompanied by another pang of sympathy. Of course her family wouldn't have wanted her to become a Warden. That must grate even worse for her.] Duncan told me he was from Highever originally you know. I want to go there one day.

[He'd thought about making a memorial or something for the man there. Duncan deserved better than to just be forgotten.

...If Robyn really did die then there would be something there for her too in her home. And her family.]

It won't ever be the same but they'll find a way to rebuild. Like they will in Redcliffe.

Will you tell me about your home, Warden Alistair? You remember that I only met you the once.

[ And hadn't learned much about him during that time, either. ]

You should certainly visit, if you can. Someone will take up the mantle of whatever is left there and rebuild. It may be by the wrong hands, but it will never be left abandoned.

[ It's too important a place, she thinks, objectively speaking. The Mirror peers curiously at her reflection as if she can see him, watching his words appear. ]

What happened to Redcliffe? [ She asks, then changes her question: ] Because of the Blight, you mean?

If you like, sure.

[Right, she had died - or been made to think she died - during the Joining. They wouldn't have had much chance to talk about anything before then. Anything she knows about him would have come from watching him so he'd prefer to think she doesn't know much at all.]

I'm sure whoever rebuilds Highever will do so with respect for your family.

[It's not much by way of comfort, knowing that her family's lands will be given to someone else, but maybe it's something.]

No, Redcliffe was attacked by- [The undead. Which feels like it might be a bad thing to say to her, as he shifts uncomfortably looking at her, half-expecting she's going to somehow see him there. Maybe he's overreacting but it seems safer all around to avoid the specifics.] Demons. An abomination was released and attacked the village.

It's where I grew up. Without the demons. The village always smelled of fish.

[ She doesn't comment on his well-wishes, or what she assumes are well-wishes. She has no bearing over what happens to Highever, and not only because she's tainted and nearly gone. Speaking of its hopeful future is pointless for a shadow of a girl. ]

Demons? [ It sounds terrifying. She leans in a little closer, brows knit together, worrying at her bottom lip as she tries to imagine it. ] An abomination took the city? ... Not the darkspawn? [ There's a pause, and then she seems to shrink a little, almost guilty-seeming. ] I'm sorry that your home suffered so much misfortune. To have that happen in the midst of a Blight... mm.

[ It's incredibly sad. Even if they did overcome the demon, there is still the rest of the danger to contend with. ]

Where were the templars? [ She persists, nearly indignant on the behalf of the villagers. ]

It could smell worse than... of fish. [ Robyn's Mirror says thoughtfully, and actually admits the shadow of a smile. ] What was it like there? Besides that.

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'Tis rather inconvenient like this. +

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