Dr. Stanford Filbrick Pines, PhD (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mviw) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entrancelogs2016-06-13 01:23 am
mviw) wrote in entrancelogs2016-06-13 01:23 am
Entry tags:
[CLOSED] Ready to bolt at the first glimpse of failsafe
Who: mviw Ford and sciencelizard Alphys!
Where: Third floor, room 33.
When: Night after Ford and Dipper's PSA.
Rating: PG! Will update if needed.
Summary: Two scientists. One really emotional conversation.
The Story:
[Ford's room is indeed messy and cluttered. He gives the place a half-hearted cleaning attempt before he just clears off a work table and sets up the chairs so Alphys can get to it from the door without tripping over papers or gadgets.
There's a lot of things of note in the room, like the couch piled high with apocalypse supplies, the owl nest in the wall, Ford's workbench and desk, and the equations he's written all over the dark walls themselves or on pieces of paper tacked here and there.
He finds himself looking up at the ceiling, which is probably the most interesting thing in the room. It mirrors the sky at home, or at least, what he remembers of it. There are pine trees and Earth's constellations always gently rotate overhead.]
mviw Ford and sciencelizard Alphys!Where: Third floor, room 33.
When: Night after Ford and Dipper's PSA.
Rating: PG! Will update if needed.
Summary: Two scientists. One really emotional conversation.
The Story:
[Ford's room is indeed messy and cluttered. He gives the place a half-hearted cleaning attempt before he just clears off a work table and sets up the chairs so Alphys can get to it from the door without tripping over papers or gadgets.
There's a lot of things of note in the room, like the couch piled high with apocalypse supplies, the owl nest in the wall, Ford's workbench and desk, and the equations he's written all over the dark walls themselves or on pieces of paper tacked here and there.
He finds himself looking up at the ceiling, which is probably the most interesting thing in the room. It mirrors the sky at home, or at least, what he remembers of it. There are pine trees and Earth's constellations always gently rotate overhead.]
no subject
So she shuffles up to the third floor, takes a breath, and knocks gently.]
Ford? It's, uhm, m-me.
no subject
[A series of locks being undone can be heard from the other side. It's a little excessive. It's also normal, for Ford.
He opens the door and tries to smile.]
Hello. Thank you for coming.
no subject
Uh, n-no problem! I wasn't, uh, d-doing anything anyway.
[She goes to follow him in, trying to make her nervous ticks look less like she's freaking out.]
S-So, uh, what's g-going on?
no subject
Oh, hey Archie. This is Alphys. Alphys, this is my cat, Archimedes. He is very small and very fluffy, and he is a polydactyl! Just like me.
[Archimedes chirps and squeaks as he navigates Ford's messy floor.]
no subject
I ended up w-with a kitten, too. Her name is Mew Mew and s-she's also very small and fluffy.
[Kitten talk is a good icebreaker. But she's still nervous about what Ford called her here for.]
So, uh... w-what about, uhm, you and Bill?
no subject
Ford also has a seat, first with his hands on the table and then reflexively in his lap where they aren't so obvious. He can't quite meet her eyes.]
... Over forty years ago, I received a considerable research grant. I spent it on building a house in the town of Gravity Falls, Oregon, where I noticed most of America's anomalies seemed to be emanating from.
[He proceeds to give the exposition we hear in A Tale of Two Stans and even The Last Mabelcorn because that is a lot of writing. Specifically, he talks about his research in Gravity Falls, how desperate he was to find proof for his theory, and how as a joke he said the incantation painted on the wall of a cave, but then Bill appeared to him in a dream; how he made a deal with Bill thinking Bill was his Muse and his friend; how he brought his college friend up from California; how that turned very ugly when there was the accident; how when he confronted Bill, it all fell apart.
He goes on to talk about his descent into near madness, his attempt to contact Stanley and the resulting fight that landed him on the other side of the portal in some other dimension.]
... Thirty years later, he fixed the portal, reactivated it, and I was finally able to come home. Unfortunately, the use of the portal's technology tore a rift in spacetime. I managed to contain it and finally dismantled what had been my life's work. While I was attempting to seal the rift for good, the container holding it broke, allowing Bill and his friends to enter my dimension, take on physical forms, and start an apocalypse.
He tortured me to get me to tell him the equation that would break the bind Gravity Falls' weirdness had on him and his nightmare friends. It was like the town was in a bubble holding the apocalypse back. I never told him.
[Ford sighs. That... that was a lot to say. He still can't look at her.]
I'm just glad he's not in a physical form here. That tells me he didn't come here by choice, but it's only a small comfort.
no subject
This was not that conversation.
It doesn't take long for her mouth to fall open, letting out little gasps when things get particularly dire and eventually just covering her mouth with her hands in shock because there's very little else she can think of to do, and that making noise in the middle of his story is probably rude. Dear lord. This is like if he'd ever come into contact with Flowey, or Flowey had actually planned to hunt him down like he threatened her with when she first got there. She barely got her escape from that conversation- and now he's here laying it out for her, all of his problems, all his regrets, and she... has no idea what to say.]
That's... I mean, that's all... You're...
[She wants to think of something comforting to say, something to fix all of these problems, but she knows too well that there's no easy solution to this sort of thing.]
I'm s-sorry. That all of that happened, and t-that you had to live through it, and... are you o-okay? I mean, I know, uhm, you're p-probably not, but, uhm... sorry.
[She wants to comfort him, let him know her success story of fucking up and getting better, but... her 'antagonist' was no inter-dimensional demon. Her creation was literal people. It's one thing to accidentally bring in something evil, and another thing entirely to, literally and metaphorically, create a monster.]
So... a-are you worried, uhm, about what he's g-going to do here? Is that... w-why you wanted to talk to me? To warn m-me?
1/2
You deserve to know.
[... Yes.]
2/2
Rick is angry with Stan and I because we never told him about Bill, when we should have, and Dipper is furious with us. I tried to explain, but he wouldn't listen, and... [He sighs.] He swore at me and I chastized him and I am fairly certain he hates me for doing this.
I can't exactly blame him for being angry. He thinks Bill is here because of the portal but we haven't even turned the thing on, and at home he had a physical form. He would never give all that up just to come here and be incorporeal. It's... it's Bill. [HE SHRUGS]
I've also spent the last three decades wandering the multiverse endlessly, and I have now been in Wonderland several times longer than I was at home after Stanley brought me back. No one deserves to be trapped here away from their home, and I can't sit back and wait for something good to happen.
[...What a bombshell. Ford folds his arms.]
no subject
[It slides out before she can think of it and she crams her hands over her mouth almost immediately after. God, why did she say that? But the idea of secret portals and playing with time and dimensions and... he of all people should know it's dangerous, right?]
I... I mean, uh, I. Do you, uh, k-know it's going to work? If the portal trapped you, f-for so long, do you know it's going to be effective h-here?
[She looks nervous; doesn't want to be chastising him, doesn't want to be fighting him, but this scares her down to her soul for a reason she can't explain. She feels a push somewhere behind her eyes, a stray thought or two about some sort of machine, the sensation of her hands gripping to soft fabric and some words behind her tongue but they fade before she can get them together long enough to speak.]
It... s-sounds dangerous. And there's a l-lot of people who, uhm, I could understand b-being worried. I... t-thank you for telling me.
[Alphys pauses, for a moment or two. She doesn't want him to be mad at her.]
... W-What do you want me to do? I mean, about... a-all of this. It's not-- I mean, I appreciate y-you telling me, I just... d-don't know what to do.
no subject
Exposition is difficult when you are a naturally private person but Wonderland has given him a very arduous exercise in opening up to people.]
You don't have to keep the secret. I'll let you use your discretion. It's only a matter of time before most people find out about it anyway; besides, the intention was to save people who wanted to leave. Stanley wanted to use the portal for the family and close friends, but that didn't seem right.
I told you because you deserve to know--everyone does--but telling the entire mansion prematurely would absolutely backfire, just like telling everyone about Bill did.
[...WELP.]
no subject
They trust her. Or... don't. Maybe it's a test, but she wants it to be more than that. He wouldn't tell her these things if he didn't trust her, but what has she ever done to earn that? She's still keeping secrets from him. The Amalgamates, who might follow her here through Wonderland's magic. Flowey, who almost killed him for speaking to her months ago. Nearly killing Frisk, actually killing Frisk, her mind reminds her, because just because she doesn't remember it doesn't make it not real.
She needs to say something. She wants to say everything. She's quiet. Finally, words.]
Did... d-did something happen? I mean, I... f-forget I asked.
[Maybe that's too painful. She needs to be encouraging, somehow.]
You're not, b-bad, for all of this happening. Sometimes, you t-try everything you can, and, uhm, it just doesn't w-work out like you want, and... e-everything changes, even though all y-you want is for it go back to how it w-was. But it... s-still means something, uhm, t-that you tried to make it better.
no subject
Until Alphys throws a massive boulder and disturbs those calm waters.
Ford turns away, looks up at the ceiling. Encouragement is not something he has ever expected to hear from anyone, except perhaps from Stanley when they were very young. It's a shock. Maybe a good one.
He looks off to the side, then. His eyes sting and water and he tries to blink the tears away. Dear God Stanford, hold it together. Don't ever let anyone see you cry.
Ford swallows and takes a deep breath to regain his composure. That's better.]
... Thank you. [He's quiet.]
Nothing happened, that I know of, but I feel that I may have done his work for him. At the very least, Chara seems to find his motivations interesting and I don't know who else may feel the same. I showed that demon my cards.
Perhaps I did the right thing, and Dipper and I prevented a lot of people from making the mistakes we made. Even if I sat down and mathematically predicted possible results of our actions, we'll never really know for certain.
You know what's ironic? Stanley and I are speaking regularly; laughing even. I think I may understand him better. We've barely spoken in almost fifty years. I missed having a brother.
[...]
Don't. Don't tell him I said that.
[That is the REAL secret Alphys will take from this room.]
no subject
I w-won't. And, uhm, I w-wouldn't worry about Chara with that. The more any of us s-show that, uh, we disprove of their actions, the more t-they're going to do it. Besides, you d-did what you did because you wanted to p-protect people, and that's g-good, in the end.
[Unfortunately, Chara operates on being a little shit, but she won't say that out loud. But speaking of not telling people things...
She wants to offer him the same thing he gave her. She wants to tell him, but there's no guarantee he'll react like she did. There's no promise he'll have any desire to know her after she tells him, and she's finally reached the point where she really, really wants to keep him as a friend. She takes a heavy breath, tries to think of how to phrase this.]
I, uhm... I appreciate you, uh, t-telling me all this, and, uhm, I want to, uh. I mean, this conversation isn't, uh, e-exactly about me, or anything, but I mean, uhm... there's p-probably something you should know, t-too. A lot of, uh, somethings.
[She pauses, waits for him to respond, tries to consider how she's going to say this.]
no subject
Something I should know? Alphys please, you can talk to me. You came here and listened to what I had to say and you didn't run screaming or throw something at me! It's the least I could do to listen to a friend.
[He tries to smile reassuringly.]
boomerangs this back bc Screaming, TW for body horror, death, LOTS HONESTLY
Bites her lip. Opens her mouth. Lets it come tumbling out.]
After I got h-hired as the Royal Scientist, it was my job to figure out, uhm, h-how to break the barrier that was keeping us all underground. It was made of m-magic, and we needed, uhm, seven s-souls to break it. Human souls. And w-we already had six.
[She probably doesn't need to mention they were all children. Seeing as Ford knows Frisk and Chara. They've probably said something.]
So, uhm, Asgore, t-the king, gave me them to test and see if we could just, you know, u-use the soul power we had, and escape. So I started doing tests on what a-allowed human souls to persist after death. See, when monsters die, our p-physical bodies, well, they turn to dust, and the SOUL dissipates with them. But human souls don't. They could be k-kept in containers and still generate power. I wanted to see, if, uhm, we c-could find a way to get monster souls to live, too, s-so we could use that added soul power to, uhm, b-break the barrier. So, uhm, I found out, that this power could be contained. It's c-called Determination. And it could change the v-very fabric of reality.
[And now we're getting into the heavy stuff. She's wringing her hands again, starting to sweat. Waiting for the fallout even as she marches ever-towards it.]
So, uhm, I asked Asgore, and... I got s-sent a lot of monsters that had, uhm, Fallen Down. When, uh, when m-monsters are close to death, or they've lost the will to g-go on, they, uh, you know, fall down. Before they disappear. So I thought, uhm, I could g-give them determination, and their soul might survive, and if I m-made a vessel to hold, uh, all of that power, we could use it. Then n-nobody had to absorb the souls and be changed and, and, everybody could b-be free.
[Takes a steadying breath. Here we go.]
Initial tests were... i-inconclusive. The bodies weren't dissipating, and the vessel w-wasn't responding, and, I just, I didn't want to be a t-total failure for the King, you know? I wanted to s-save everyone, so I just, I just k-kept injecting everything with determination, and then... one of them w-woke up. One of the bodies opened it's eyes.
[She's not looking at him now. Glancing at her hands, the floor, the wall. Anywhere.]
They all woke up. Like n-nothing was wrong. So the determination didn't w-work, as soul power, but... everybody was a-alive again, so I had something to show for it. I put the v-vessel back. It was... a flower. From Asgore's garden. And I said I'd s-send everyone home and I gave the souls back to Asgore and, and--
[She's choking up. Looks like she might cry.]
I was wrong. I was so, s-so wrong. Monsters can't handle determination, it isn't the physicality, it isn't t-the thing that does it, it's just a byproduct, and they... lost their f-form. Still alive. Started m-melting, physically into each other, until they were something e-else entirely. Could barely remember w-who they were or how to live and were just, j-just gone. I couldn't t-tell Asgore. I couldn't tell their families w-what I had done, so I just... h-hid them. In my lab. Took care of t-them and didn't leave, and figured, you know, I can just go on d-doing this forever, because, I don't have another c-choice. And then, it's, well... the v-vessel disappeared. It was alive. Alive w-without a SOUL, and...
[And maybe that's information she shouldn't be sharing. Just like how she didn't talk about lying her way into being the royal scientist. Maybe it's ok to keep secrets that aren't hers.]
I r-ruined their life. I ruined all t-their lives. And I didn't c-come forward with it for a long time, until... w-well, until Frisk fell. And I realized I had to b-be stronger. And everyone was just, just o-okay with it, for some reason? Nobody was even mad. But its, it's n-not forgivable, just by saying, oh, it's okay! They're never going to b-be themselves, and monsters are nice, too nice sometimes, they were in pain, I l-locked them in a basement while I watched cartoons and I...
[She's crying. She doesn't even know when she started. She tries putting her claws over her face to try and hide it, but... here we are.]
I'm s-sorry. My apologies aren't enough t-to them and they're the ones who have to k-keep living and I still get, you k-know, friends and a girlfriend and a h-happy ending? I don't deserve it. I don't d-deserve any of it.
[She sniffles, again. Wipes some tears. Finally, finally looks at him.]
I'm s-sorry. I'm sorry. They might s-show up here, the flower, h-he was here before. He was p-planning to go after you because you knew me, but he went h-home before that, and I was too scared to tell you because I didn't want you to h-hate me because, you're really great, and smart, and... I w-want you to be my friend, too, but I'm terrible. I'm not g-good, or safe, and nobody should know me.
[Because Chara's still mad, has threatened her at knifepoint about the flower and them and how to make him happy because of the things she's done. Because she doesn't know enough about resets to say if it happened or not and has never, never asked, but can remember the phantom feelings of spikes being wedged into her abdomen, vines crawling over her SOUL, his laughter strangling her like a vice.]
I'm sorry. I'm s-so so sorry. He could c-come back and you'd be in danger, and, I... I'm sorry.
1/3
It's a lot to take in. For the most part, he looks thoughtful and sympathetic. He knows what it is to do Stupid and Reckless things for your own ambitions. Hubris is a multiversal constant, it seems.]
2/3
Huh.
The only thing that changes is that Ford sits up a little and he looks a little surprised. Flowers don't seem inherently threatening, but neither do yellow triangles in top hats.]
3/3
Ford considers the things he's said to Frisk, and decides that might be a good starting point. She's crying, and he... he has to do something.
Gently, he reaches over and rests a hand on Alphys' shoulder.]
Apology accepted.
... Alphys, we've both made terrible mistakes that got people hurt. That doesn't mean we're bad people. You owned up to what you did. Anyone who strives to make amends has to have some good in them. Right?
[He briefly considers that the Underground really is a terrible place with what it seems to do to its residents, and brushes that thought aside.]
As much as I want to think otherwise, I'm not exactly qualified to tell people what they deserve. Trust me. I could write a paper on that subject. But I think you should still take that happy ending and make the best of it. Everyone gets laden with things they don't deserve, good and bad, and all we can do is our best to keep pushing forward.
[Ford sighs. This is not a good motivational speech. Time to end this on a good note!]
I'm not sorry I know you. You're a genius and you host great viewing parties! If that flower comes back and tries to kill me, I'll introduce it to my rifle's pyrokinetic pulse blast! [He lightly punches the air.]
We'll be fine.
CRIES OPENLY ABOUT THIS THREAD
And he does. And it's staggering.
Because... there's hope. There's chance. There's a dare to make something better. And that someone's willing to give her that chance, again.]
... Thank y-you. For this. I know you don't, you d-don't have to take this chance on me. To hope I'll get b-better.
[Because he doesn't. But he is, and it's so much, it's just so much.]
I'm h-happy to know you, too.