and mama always said--

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Who: Faith Lehane & training students & OTA
Where: Sparring Facility, Angel Investigations, a room on a floor of your choosing!
When: Aug/Sep Catch-all
Rating: PG-13, could increase
Summary: Faith is not handling her anniversary in Wonderland very well.
The Story:

sparring facility

[ she's going easy on everyone.

faith usually asks her trainees for an extra few punches, higher kicks, or harder throws. she makes it clear that the name of the game is to walk out feeling better than when you came in, sure. but this month she takes people at their word when they tire out, instead of asking for more.

her movement's still crisp but she doesn't hit or push as hard as normal. the threshold varies per person, a mental note in faith's head to tell her who needs her to throttle back less or more. ]

hallway, pick a floor any floor

[ she comes here weekly, to this unmarked door, but it's not her room.

when faith exits, it's with freshly-made bruises and drying blood that she hasn't quite cleaned up all the way. a sheen of sweat covers her, and she's pushing her hair out of her face like it's personally affronted her. ]

angel investigations

[ she's literally asleep on that middle round couch thing. which cannot be comfortable. wake the slayer, and choose your weapon wisely... ]

Comments

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[ she swallows and takes a breath before figuring out what words go in what order. ]

He came down to make with the moony eyes while I was giving Elena a lesson. I stepped, figuring with her there he'd collar up, and I was right about that but...

[ she picks at a stray hangnail on her thumb for a moment. it hurts to admit this and it's impossible to say out loud to anyone who isn't her present company. ]

Had that moment where Dead Girl voice got louder than mine, before Elena pulled the leash tight on him. Been awhile since patrolling or even actually putting anything down that needed putting. Felt... [ her voice drops to a whisper-- ] ...right.

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I got nowhere to sit but my bed, but-- c'mon in.

[ a little confidence seeps back into faith's voice; as if having no furniture is something to be proud of. and the room's about as bare as it can be. bed, trunk, a single light bulb that hangs from the ceiling. the floor's concrete, and faith hasn't thought to put a rug down. there's a shitty small tube tv in the corner on the floor-- and a duffel bag where it seems she keeps her clothes.

she waves natasha in before heading to the bathroom to jab her elbow into the mirror. the tinkle of glass follows the smashing sound as faith wipes it from the counter to the wastebasket. ]

[lightgunhustler]

Yeah? Think so?

[She smiles, because she knows Faith wouldn't say something like that idly. She knows it means something.]

Watcher sounds kind of interesting, but I think I'd get tired of all the watching. Always have been more of a hands-on kind of girl. [She pauses, just for a beat, smile hitching wider.] Would have been nice to know someone like you in high school. Could've had a friend with similar interests. Someone to appreciate that knife collection of mine.

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The best one I had? He'd have dug your collection too.

[ she smiles fondly at the memories of giles jumping into frays he didn't look like he could handle that dredge up into her consciousness. ]

Hell, he might've been able to show you a thing or two, even. But yeah-- you'd have fit in like gangbusters.

[widows_kiss]

[ The room strikes a familiar chord in Natasha as she steps in and glances around the room with a curious eye. It looks like a dozen places she's hunkered down in to hide in between ops or when on the run. Sparse and bare, just enough within reach in case she's got to pick up and go at a moment's notice.

She doesn't comment on it, merely follows Faith towards the bathroom. ]

Do you have clean towels in here? Any alcohol?

[vampdetective]

[He knows that as difficult as the admission is, it's one she wouldn't be able to make to anyone else-- maybe not even to herself, if he weren't there to coax it out of her. He knows it means something, and he exhales that one confession sinks in, fills in the blanks.

He understands now.]

But you stopped yourself.

[Maybe she wouldn't have, if Elena hadn't been there. Maybe Elena was good for the both of them.]

You didn't let Dead Girl win.

[lightgunhustler]

Kind of sorry I missed it. The hunting community is kind of like an extended family sometimes, but not everyone in it is the sort of person you wanna be close to.

[She'd made the mistake of getting close to the wrong ones a time or two. Gordon, in particular, comes to mind.]

So what's a Watcher do, aside from train Slayers?

;o; hogwarts ate me i'm sorry

[goodwoofjames]

[Sirius laughs and catches her hair tie handily.]

I don't know, that sounds pretty freaky. Maybe you're projecting.

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No towels. Booze in the trunk.

[ where natasha will also find the stakes, swords and faith's favorite axe. faith's voice echoes against the tile in the bathroom; enough to make her cringe a little before running water to splash onto her face.

it's too cold, and exactly what faith wants. (deserves, if you asked her.) ]

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[ she hadn't been thinking of it that way at all. of course she hadn't. faith was constantly fighting to figure out what actions were hers and what actions were pure luck, and the luck column is always longer.

when angel says it that way, she can't help but look over at him. faith's brow furrows with confusion again, at just the prospect that she'd had a hand in her own life. had she actually fought against dead girl? could she have won that battle despite the voice being so loud? ]

Yeah. I didn't. [ her eyes drop again. ] So why do I still feel like I flunked it?

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They're the brains of the operation, mostly. Tactics, demon knowledge-- you know, figuring out how to kill something we've never seen before, and stuff. Lot of reading, but like a lot of puzzle solving too. Stuff I was never great at.

[ faith chews at her lip, shrugging against the ache she's felt with giles gone. with the knowledge that he'd never been her watcher, not really. they'd just both been on buffy's shit list at the same time. when she speaks of watchers, it's never about the men in her life. it's always about diana. a distant memory of the first person who helped and the first faith let down. ]

It's a little different these days, though. They see a lot more action, cause there are more slayers to herd.

i feel this deeply <3

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Probably. [ faith finds it hard not to keep laughing and admit her own nastiness. ]

Excuse me for assuming what a guy's thinking about. Just saying-- I'm not usually wrong.

[needlebearer]

What do you mean, it didn't change anything?

[It's the one hope she's been clinging to, that killing those on her list might bring about some sort of change - at least give her satisfaction.]

[lightgunhustler]

So they used to be the information guys.

[Sounds a little like what she used to do before she actually went out hunting proper-- and a lot like what Bobby has been getting up to the last decade or so. He's as close to an expert as it gets in the hunting community. Everyone went to him with their problems, and he always came through.

She watches Faith with interest, curious to know what she might be mulling over, but knowing better than to ask. This isn't the time, but maybe an opportunity would present itself later. Watchers seemed like a heavier subject than she was letting on, maybe.]

How many slayers are we talking? I know it used to be a pretty limited gig, you mentioned that-- got a whole army of them now or something?

[widows_kiss]

[ She doesn't comment over the fact that the alcohol is easily accessible but a clean towel is not. Rather than destroying one of what few possessions Faith has allowed herself, she leans in the doorway of the bathroom to be heard over the water. ]

Do you mind if I use your closet to get a towel then? Some bandages, perhaps?

[ Some people were weird about magic. It seemed polite to ask first. ]

[vampdetective]

Because there's a big part of you that feels like she shouldn't be there at all.

[This much, he says from experience. There's a knowing edge to his voice, his own brows drawing downward, gaze darkening.

Faith isn't the only one who has another self to contend with, a part of her that she'd rather she didn't find herself at war with.]

It's hard to deal with the fact that the ugly parts are still us. We can't change the fact that they're there beneath the surface. What we can change is how much control we give them. You didn't give in. Doesn't sound like flunking to me.

[goodwoofjames]

Mmm, no, you're not. Especially around here. Or, well, maybe that's me projecting. But I can't help that I still look 17, can I?

[And the longer he's here, the less he'll feel right flirting with anyone who is 17.]

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[ faith doesn't correct her -- it's not like jo knowing they were complete bastards is gonna make this convo anything but a downer. ]

Started out with about 2000 or so I think, yeah. But you know what armies are for.

[ oh, a downer again? great job faith a+ for you. ]

The slayer line's a little funky now, too.

[lightgunhustler]

Yeah.

[Hey. Hard to be in either of their positions and not be a downer when it comes to talking about the gig. Faith doesn't have to say it in full-- Jo knows exactly what armies are for.]

So what changed?

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Long story short? Someone got brainwashed into trying to exterminate us all.

[ faith shrugs-- she can acknowledge that she's terrible at exposition, but this time the story sounds close enough to home to make it clear she's purposely withholding details. this hurts to remember. it had been one thing to hear angel's voice come from twilight's masked face -- another to juggle his redemption arc with taking care of her squad. ]

Once the dust cleared, we were pretty depleted. A lot of slayers with serious baggage -- lot of survivor's guilt. Fortunately, I got some experience with that.