and mama always said--

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Who: Faith Lehane & training students & OTA
Where: Sparring Facility, Angel Investigations, a room on a floor of your choosing!
When: Aug/Sep Catch-all
Rating: PG-13, could increase
Summary: Faith is not handling her anniversary in Wonderland very well.
The Story:

sparring facility

[ she's going easy on everyone.

faith usually asks her trainees for an extra few punches, higher kicks, or harder throws. she makes it clear that the name of the game is to walk out feeling better than when you came in, sure. but this month she takes people at their word when they tire out, instead of asking for more.

her movement's still crisp but she doesn't hit or push as hard as normal. the threshold varies per person, a mental note in faith's head to tell her who needs her to throttle back less or more. ]

hallway, pick a floor any floor

[ she comes here weekly, to this unmarked door, but it's not her room.

when faith exits, it's with freshly-made bruises and drying blood that she hasn't quite cleaned up all the way. a sheen of sweat covers her, and she's pushing her hair out of her face like it's personally affronted her. ]

angel investigations

[ she's literally asleep on that middle round couch thing. which cannot be comfortable. wake the slayer, and choose your weapon wisely... ]

Comments

[vampdetective]

[He goes still-- inhumanly so.]

What happened?

[No judgement, no accusations, but he needs to know.]

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[ she swallows and takes a breath before figuring out what words go in what order. ]

He came down to make with the moony eyes while I was giving Elena a lesson. I stepped, figuring with her there he'd collar up, and I was right about that but...

[ she picks at a stray hangnail on her thumb for a moment. it hurts to admit this and it's impossible to say out loud to anyone who isn't her present company. ]

Had that moment where Dead Girl voice got louder than mine, before Elena pulled the leash tight on him. Been awhile since patrolling or even actually putting anything down that needed putting. Felt... [ her voice drops to a whisper-- ] ...right.

[vampdetective]

[He knows that as difficult as the admission is, it's one she wouldn't be able to make to anyone else-- maybe not even to herself, if he weren't there to coax it out of her. He knows it means something, and he exhales that one confession sinks in, fills in the blanks.

He understands now.]

But you stopped yourself.

[Maybe she wouldn't have, if Elena hadn't been there. Maybe Elena was good for the both of them.]

You didn't let Dead Girl win.

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[ she hadn't been thinking of it that way at all. of course she hadn't. faith was constantly fighting to figure out what actions were hers and what actions were pure luck, and the luck column is always longer.

when angel says it that way, she can't help but look over at him. faith's brow furrows with confusion again, at just the prospect that she'd had a hand in her own life. had she actually fought against dead girl? could she have won that battle despite the voice being so loud? ]

Yeah. I didn't. [ her eyes drop again. ] So why do I still feel like I flunked it?

[vampdetective]

Because there's a big part of you that feels like she shouldn't be there at all.

[This much, he says from experience. There's a knowing edge to his voice, his own brows drawing downward, gaze darkening.

Faith isn't the only one who has another self to contend with, a part of her that she'd rather she didn't find herself at war with.]

It's hard to deal with the fact that the ugly parts are still us. We can't change the fact that they're there beneath the surface. What we can change is how much control we give them. You didn't give in. Doesn't sound like flunking to me.