(open) there's got to be a morning after;

[hypoxic]

Who: Leo Fitz and anyone else who really needs a beer right now
Where: The bar
When: August 9th, during that very still period between the end of the event and the return of everyone's powers.
Rating: PG-13, will note if anything escalates
Summary: Everyone got to live different lives and be different people! And then they woke up with the realization that they might have said or done some things that maybe shouldn't have happened. Beer is the solution to this problem. Come commiserate.
The Story:


[People talked about it, of course. They mentioned that events could change more than just parts of the mansion. But this was the first time Fitz had the chance to experience it. He'd lived an entirely different life, and it was... Pathetic. He'd become a person so steeped in published dogma that he lost track of common sense and self-awareness. He let people perform atrocities on him, all because he "knew" he was adhering to science.

And ever since waking up with his true memories restored, he's felt absolutely sick about it.

He settles down at the bar at just before noon, nursing a beer and brooding. He's not an expert drinker, and lets the beverage sit long enough for condensation to bead along the exterior of the glass between sips. But the sips do come eventually. How else is he going to wash away an alternate lifetime's worth of horrible choices?

Occasionally, he'll glance to whomever's settled down nearby, seeking comfort in shared misery.]

If I never hear the word "mutant" again it'll be too soon, yeah?

[This might be the most social he's been in the four months since his arrival.]

Comments

[hypoxic]

Why don't you? We're supposed to look out for one another, aren't we? Even if your experiences were unfavorable, they're still something shared.

Aren't you curious?

[hyperkinesia]

No. No, I'm not. [ Yes, he is, but he's also embarrassed— mortified, actually. Worried, scared, and feeling incredibly guilty. Even though he knows that that version of him was just an alternate, and not really the same person as he is. Doubtlessly that's true for Will, too.

He can't bring himself to say out loud that the experiences weren't at all unfavorable, rather the opposite. Instead he spills out before he thinks twice about it. ] I'm pretty sure he's not all that curious, either.

[hypoxic]

["He."] Oh.

[Oh he can see how that might create a lot of questions that are difficult to answer.]

Can you really be so sure about the way someone else thinks, though? Thinking's a bit personal, yeah?

[hyperkinesia]

[ Yes, it does. And Bruce is an expert when it comes to avoiding uncomfortable situations like that, so naturally this seems like the most logical course of action.

Funnily enough, from what he 'knows' of Will, he may just be the kind to do the same. ]

Fine, then. If he wants to talk, then he can come find me himself. [ No one said anything about him having to take the first step, right? ]

[hypoxic]

[Fitz squints at him then. He must have misunderstood Bruce's intended meaning.]

And -- you're sure that's what you want to do to mend this?

[Bruce Banner is an Avenger. He should be a hero about things.]

[hyperkinesia]

[ Yeah no. He'd signed up to punch bad guys and aliens out of the atmosphere, not deal with flings he had with people in alternate universes.

Also technically he's not an Avenger anymore, so there's that. ]

Who said I wanted to mend this? And there's nothing to mend to begin with, anyway. We don't even know each other, not really.

[hypoxic]

But why wouldn't you want to? If you're aware that someone might be feeling anxious, or -- or not right, you should do what you can.

[He looks up to Bruce so much don't ruin it.]

[hyperkinesia]

[ Lol ruins it ]

No, I shouldn't. Not when I know the other person is as intent on avoiding me as I am them. I... I have nothing against him. I wouldn't want him harm either, but talking about it will just make things weirder.

[ Also there may be some memory of the feelings he felt back then, even if he's sure those feelings aren't there anymore. The memories are, and that's enough to make Bruce feel more confused than he's willing to face or admit right now. ]

Why does it matter to you anyway?

[hypoxic]

[Bruce might as well have been speaking another language then. He'd opened his mouth, but there was nothing about Goodness or Righteousness there. He hadn't even offered to smash anything oppressing the masses.]

I'd only thought.

[For a moment, there's a hint of that alternate Fitz, something small and impressionable in his eyes as he settles into the process of watching a deity fall to earth.]

-- It's not important.

[hyperkinesia]

No, it's not.

[ Bruce downs the rest of his glass and acts like he didn't see the look on Fitz's face. It's almost worse than the people who've hated him for years, who yell on television about the monster he is. He barely can bear the guilt of making Fitz feel this way, but he also can't stand acting like he's someone he's not just for his sake.

Better that he knows the truth now, sees him for who he really is. ]

I'm not who you think I am. I'm not some hero. I'm just a man. And a cowardly one at that.

[hypoxic]

[That look isn't going anywhere. He doesn't have a lot to believe in here. especially not after what's just happened. He needs one thing to hold fast and not fall apart.]

Cowards don't do the things you've done.

[Bruce saves people. He's an Avenger. He's a hero because he has to be a hero.]

[hyperkinesia]

Yeah? And what is it that I've done? You mean that part where I was ready to run and hide away while leaving the rest of the team to deal with a proplem that I was in part to blame for? Is that the sort of stuff that makes me a hero?

[ He kind of hates himself for even bringing that up, for losing his calm enough to blurt that out with little or no thought. Closing his eyes, he drops his head, a hand lifting up to cover half of his face and serve as almost a shield between himself and Fitz. ]

Sorry. I didn't mean to, I just... [ He sighs. ] You think too highly of me. I'm not going to live up to it. I'm sorry.

[hypoxic]

[Fitz's jaw sets tight as Bruce slips into fretting about.... Something. It's not something he's particularly privy to. Something he'd gone through with his team, probably. Teams went through things sometimes.

Instead, he waits for Bruce to let it out, to calm and settle. And even then, he takes a beat before replying at all.]

Doctor Banner, you're familiar with my direct employers, are you not? [He must be, considering how often Fitz whinges about the proper SHIELD way to do things.] Have we ever discussed my position in the hierarchy?

[hyperkinesia]

[ Bruce asks for another refill, mostly to distract himself rather than needing to have another drink, glancing sideways at Fitz when he mentions SHIELD. ]

No, we haven't. [ Said almost like he's not going to care, one way or the other. He still doesn't stop Fitz, though he is pretty sure that whatever he's going to say will have no weight on how Bruce feels about himself, and everything. ]

[hypoxic]

I worked directly under Agent Coulson. I believe that's a name you recognize. [He also takes care to use the past tense, and "agent" instead of "director". Coulson's supposed to be dead and he's not sure how many people know he isn't. ]

He died for you. From what I understand, he's the one you lot started avenging in the first place. And every single member of his team would do the same in a heartbeat. The world needs heroes, doctor banner, a lot more than it needs more government agents.

I'd like to be clear about where we stand on the matter.

[hyperkinesia]

[ That's a low blow. It's probably obvious that Bruce doesn't take kindly to having that used against him, or— well, not against him, but just to make some kind of grand point about how they must do what's good and right, and it's all so...

It's so naïve, it's so idealistic. It's not how life works, and it's definitely not how Bruce feels, not anymore anyway. ]

Then the world needs to go find heroes in someone else other than me, because I'm not one.

[ Maybe his voice raises just a hint, or maybe it's just the harsh way he says it, but there's a bitter sort of finality to it. ]

I hope I've made it clear about where I stand on the matter.

[hypoxic]

I don't think that's your choice to make anymore, Doctor.

[but he gets where Bruce wants things to be. He pushes himself away from the bar, standing.]

You've got an incredible heart, whether or not you think you do. And I'm going to keep believing in you, because I refuse to believe that Coulson died for no reason.

[Okay so that one might have been unfair. Whatever, it sounded good in his head.]

[hyperkinesia]

[ Bruce actually laughs at that, because honestly. Honestly? ]

Nothing in my life is anymore, apparently. But thanks for the reminder.

[ It's not a sincere thanks, for the record. Obviously it's dripping with sarcasm, and Bruce doesn't even bother glancing at Fitz when he stands up. ]

That's your own problem, then. But you really know nothing. [ you sweet summer child ]

[hypoxic]

Perhaps not. But I'm quick to pick up on things.

[the laughter is like a vacuum slurping at the genuine emotion he'd been sharing. He grows stiff, accepting this new disappointment with a bit more poise than he'd handled the Steve issue. It would have been more personally hurtful, he thinks, if it hadn't come at the expense of someone else. Bruce is deliberately abandoning someone who's probably scared and confused, who needs someone to talk to. And for what?]

I hope your day gets better, Doctor.

[He'll see himself out, then. He's not mad. Just disappointed.]